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[07 Dec 2004|10:12pm] |
yes, I'm still here.Just for me.
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| friends only |
[24 Sep 2004|04:16pm] |
enough turmoiling over something I know is simple. I like my words to be mine, and it gives me a sense of control to know who reads and who doesn't. I have friends that are either commentary-fobic or non-blurty users anyways, so its not like I got any official feedback on here. Thanks to all for your comments in person though!
one last message to leave you with : "He is risen, He is coming."
If you want be added :face your fobia! or: get a journal! it's fun!and we shall see...
if not, Au revoir!
- a girl that is head over heels for God.
Psalms 139:14
Phillipians1:21
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[05 Nov 2003|10:57pm] |
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hand song-.(open house/singing it with aaron /his guitar):) |
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"take me into your arms.what you feel is what you are, and what you are is beautiful." some one who says those words to me , and others just as significant ,every day, I will belong to.
anywho...I remembered those words off of a goo goo dolls song and thought I would put that on here.
I don't deserve much...I don't deserve anything that I have, but I must take advantage of what I do have and be thankful for it. God just works like that...getting to the bottom of him is like getting to the bottom of the ocean. And more even...but that is what makes him majestic and ...wonderous.
God bless all my friends.<3
Monkeys haunt my sleep says:
Hey there, beautiful!
Monkeys haunt my sleep says:
. . . who is busy.
friends that make me feel special... I only hope I can be the best friend I can be for them too...
oh man I can't wait for the Nickel Creek concert on Friday night. I was in the girls room earlier and I decided to play it loud to get into a "Nickel Creek mode". (TOTSWBHTH...BITICDI)(there goes some more "denice dialect:D) (IJHTHFAFOT)and sure enough man! I am all about them right now!! heehee...it will be a lot of fun and we got awesome seats too.
Why are guys so wierd. (wink to lindz #1 ^.~) they complain we are confusing...they are the ones that makes us confused! (won't you agree girls? UNANIMOUS "YES!" heehee) I have nothing against guys but...they are a little too much to handle ^.^. But they are fun though, especially when they are random in a "I don't make sense but in a funny way" kind of way.
once again..why have guys when you can have a good book? (reminiscing on old old entries). I mean, it makes perfect sense...for the time being (wink WINK)
I have not updated publicly in a while. But this is like way random...
He stood there looking at her through the crowds. She had her back towards him. He was unaware that she was standing there, but could feel some one was looking at her. To his amazement, she slowly turned and looked straight back at him. Two pairs of eyes looking into each other, while the bustling crowd went about their business around them. I just got a flashback from Braveheart. I loove it when she is walking around and william is looking at her and she feels him looking at her. I hope I can feel that way about some one someday...just feel his eyes...)
I played Volleyball for DGR and we won!!! yaayyy!! it was so much fun too! I missed playing. :)
eyes are getting heavy..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................and heavier...............................................................................................................................................................................sweet dreams....trully....
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| ..this is letting go... |
[29 May 2003|12:24am] |
Don't call me
don't write
Don't show up in the middle of the night
You know that we needed
some time in space to breathe in.
I still recall the things you said to me.
It's what you did not say that sets me free.
Now how can I find peace of mind
when you keep coming back again?
It's not OK for you to play
this game of see-saw with my head.
Now it hurts too much
and it hits too hard
And I won't play this part!
Don't call me
don't write.
Don't show up in the middle of the night
You know that we needed
some time in space to breathe in.
So now I say the things I want to say
sometimes it's better letting go this way.
I'll always know down in my soul
we really had so far to go.
I've given all I have to give
and now it's time for me to live!
And I won't look back
and I won't regret
though it hurts like hell
Someday I will forget.
Don't call me
don't write
Don't show up in the middle of the night
to say that you've been thinking
cuz I know it's just the "dreaming".
...this is letting go...this is letting go...
Its funny how we seem to let appear
I never thought I'd see this all dissapear.
...This is letting go...
-SOZZI
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| you change your shoelaces...I like firecrackers... |
[29 May 2003|12:05am] |
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tired...mentally & physically |
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Letting Go- Sozzi |
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Today was good.I had a lot on my mind but it was still a good day. It was really foggy and cold which I love.
there isn't much to tell really...went to the gym and did some bike and machines but didn't do all that much compared to other days. And then I had lunch at Tom and Pam's with my parents and we had wraps that were really yummy.Later on Hugo called and we met up nearby and walked and went to this little park a few blocks away and talked for hours.
It was nice and I got distracted from other shtuff;).
That is about it for now!
nite nite!!!!
like i always say... don't forget to smile:D
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| ..everybody cries...it's the perfect thing to do sometimes... |
[27 May 2003|10:57pm] |
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Cry Ophelia- Adam Cohen |
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this has been a good day:)I enjoyed it a lot and the best thing is...it was a nice day but I don't have much to tell :p. I got out of bed at like 10 or so because every one was up and the Doobies (I think) were playing full blast on the first floor and so it was hard to keep sleeping;) . I was in Pjs all day...well...up to like 3:30 and then I got ready and stuff and we headed over to Tom and Pam's. Oh I love the view from their 3rd floor!!! you can see the ocean and the other end of the Con Con beach beyond the river even!. It was a gorgeous day too. these past few days have been that way. Just nice and sunny and even t-shirt weather though...as soon as it gets to be about 5:30 and the sun starts setting it is time to slip on the sweaters and jackets ;).
we had a good time at their house. we ate yummy food and they made so much we are eating "leftovers " together for lunch hehe:p and then we watched a bit of my spring sing show. Especially "don't surf on my turf" and "take it from the top" and then OF COURSE we watched " For Richer or for Poorer" ;). and then after that we had apple pie that was really yummy and then we watched Ice Age. Every one loooved it and were all like "great choice Denice" and stuff. I felt flattered with compliments hehehe:p. I cracked up like I had never seen it before . that is one movie I don't get tired of watching. makes me cry when Diego almost dies and when the "pink thing" meets up with his dad in the end. And then I laugh and laugh and laugh at the poor squirrel and at Sid. Sid...he is a character.:D.
Hmm..that was random hehe:p
And then we watched the Mavericks play the Spurs LIVE on ESPN:D. That was fun...well we stayed till half time and then came back home. Did you know that the Spurs player #50 is part of the Church of Christ? isn't that neat-o???:)
Let's see..what else...I got to chat with Ashlee from California and... lindz and andrea!!:D we even got one of those group chat rooms and shared one for the three of us. it was kind of messy but we understand each other well enough to do it;). it was great to talk to both of them though. ( you guys are done with intersession!!! woohoo!!! I am soo proud of you guys!!!).
[............]
And now I am...here...of course...and I think I am about to get ready for bed because I am waaay tired.
always remember : tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it :)
and...
don't ever forget to smile:D
as Boyz II Men would say...can you stand the rain?
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| "Letting Go" |
[26 May 2003|10:46pm] |
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Shimmer- Shawn Mulllins |
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well...I am here on my mom's laptop chatting with Andrea...FINALLY !! I missed her sooo much!!!
I have had an ok day. Not much to it really . Just been one of those plain days you spend at home. I went to the gym in the morning with my mom ( it is becoming a custom) and then after that I have been in the house the whole time. Just doing random stuff around the house...blaaa...hehehe:p but I guess there will always be those days where you will look back on and be like "ok...that was one day I could've missed and not ever known I missed it" :D
Lets see...for tomorrow.. I dont' have many plans either. Gym in the morning as usual...and then during the day I guess we will find something to do. And then in the evening the Hooks are having us over for barbecue!!!:D and we are going to watch my Spring Sing video and watch "Ice Age" too!!( they have not watched that...none of them but me can you believe that???? :O)
And then on Wednesday Hugo is coming to pick me up and he is taking me to the beach!!! and I don't know what else he has planned (he is my tour guide for Con Con since he has lived here for years and years) and then on Thursday after he gets out of class we are going to Villa Alemana to see Daniela and the baby. That is going to be nice to get to see both of them at one time. It will be a little strange but I will be able to handle it ok;). It'll be fun . and I am excited to see the baby again too because she is absolutely precious!!!!!!:D
Hmm...I have like nothing to talk about. well not on here anyways;).
Life can be so strange can't it?
I guess you just have to learn to go with it huh?
thought for the day: " go to the mattresses" hehe:p
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| try to hold on... |
[26 May 2003|12:15am] |
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try-smashing pumpkins |
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I'm about to get to bed but thought I would update a little bit before I fell asleep;). Today has been a good day. Just one of those days that goes by real smooth with no problems.
Church was good and it was great to see every one again. It is always great to see every one again hehehe;p. We had lunch at the mall as usual except this time I didn't get my usual McDonald's combo ( it is a lot better here than in the US), instead i got a sandwich at this new German place they have. it was pretty good but it was so big I could barely eat half of it. But Raul took care of that as he does with every one's leftovers heheeh:p. We sat and talked for a long while and they filled me in on some stuff that happened while I was in school. It was nice to get informed:).
Then after that we just came home and I watched "the untouchables" with my parents. That is one good movie! I don't usually like bloody and violent stuff. But this was really good. There are a lot of good actors in it (Kevin Costner looks so young in it ...not to mention handsome hehe:p) and Robert de Niro does a great bad guy part . I don't think I had ever wanted to Robert to die before:D. But he was playing as Al Capone so you can imagine how angry I was at him;). Talk about heartless...and his right hand guy has such an evil face! so creepy...
ANyways...I liked it.:) Then after that I just hung out in my room and had fun doing stuff you do when you are in your room :p. (you know...listen to music, sing, read, look at old pictures, etc) And then I helped my dad make Velveeta cheese . We had just started eating when Tom called and I was all "hey you want to come eat velveeta and chips with us?" so in a few minutes (they live like 5 blocks away from us now , which makes me glad because we get to see them a whole lot more now) they were here and we spent a few hours just snacking and having good conversation. A little bit serious and then it would get funny...then just plain silly...then serious again;).
I just finished watching "you've got mail"...I wish neat stuff like what happens to Meg and Tom would happen to me:(.oh well...when I travel the world it will be a whole lot neater:D:D:D
well that is it for now... I chatted with katie some but we were interrupted because her dog had a little "accident' on the couch that she had to get off to clean. But I am sure she is having fun at the beach with her friends:) what would give to be in New Hampshire right now!! Chile is neat though so I am content hehe:p
nite nite for now!
lesson for the day: "never cut your fingers off with an electric saw with a dog around." -Tom :p (funnyyy heheheh)
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| to you...if you are out there somewhere... |
[24 May 2003|03:09pm] |
Everytime she sees a movie, she thinks it's about her. Everytime she hears a song, she thinks it's about them. She has never felt this way before, no she has never felt this way before. She has never loved before. In the past she'd always been selfish , in the past she'd always been able to run. Nothing has ever held her there, no boy that she has ever cared for. She didn't think this could happen to her. She had no idea what feelings were. Now she knows if she ever leaves, she won't have a thing to believe in.
This was an independant girl. It's not her nature to kiss. It's not her nature to even think about a song like this. But something comes when they are together, turns her into a silly, laughing, droolling, crying little girl.
She says "come on, grow old with me , they say the best is yet to be.I ask you to hold my hand, put your arm around me, help me understand. Dependance is new to me. Completeness a wonder to see. Something comes inside of me, and I have never, never felt so free. I'll tell you once , I can't do it again. I love you more than I can comprehend."
This was an independant girl, she never wanted this before. now she thinks she wants nothing more.
She says "Come on, grow old with me. They say the best is yet to be. Something comes when we're together, turns me into a silly, laughing, droolling, craying little girl".
This was an independant girl.
I was an independant girl.
Good to see you
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| why don't you stay? |
[24 May 2003|02:42pm] |
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here nor there- Andy Stochansky |
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It is such a wonderful day!! after the rain we have hardly seen any more clouds. and the ocean is such a great deep blue! oh I love how it looks! :).
The rain was great for the view because it settled the dust and cleaned the trees and now you can see how green they really were under the dirt. The forest above my house looks great and JD says that it looks a whole lot greener up there than it did before the rain.
I love the rain and the snow because both are an expression of "go ahead and start over" . Both clean and cleanse everything to the way they were at the beginning which is the way they should be. I feel surrounded by life. with the hundreds of trees that surround my house and the ocean and the foothills of the Andes Mountains to my right it just feels full of life. Uphill I have the forest with the tall pine that gives me that "mountany" feeling and downhill are all the eucalyptus trees that are more pasive and tranquil and look so gentle when it is windy.
I have been having a great time here at home ..so much I forget to get online and update this journal hehe:p. My dad is doing ok...he has a lot of pain strikes though and it just makes him squint because it hurts so much. But the doctors say it is because all the tendons and things are healing themselves and the process is painful. Please keep praying for him.
I am an only daughter right now since JD isn't home. he is hardly at home! he is always at some friend's house studying or playing videogames or something. I still get to see him a lot though and it makes me happy that he is having fun so it doesn't bother me that he doesn't spend so much time with me. I still have months to go so I will get my chances to pester him >:D.
I took the bus by myself yesterday for the first time since I got here! It was so wierd but at the same time so familiar. I met my parents at the beach for lunch which was fantastic since I hadn't actually been to the beach till then. I will start going more frecuently though that is for sure. I am planning on just taking an afternoon and wandering around and finding my way around here in Con Con. I am 6 blocks from the bayou here but it is kind of complicated to get downhill so I will have to figure that out;).
Lets see...so far today.. we went to downtown Vina and took my dad tothe hospital for his wound to get checked on and then we went to the mall for a while and got JayJay a birthday present (he is turning 3 today!!!:D) and then we just came back here and had yummy pasta that only mom knows how to make ;). I need to make Emmanual (JayJay is his nickname) a birthday card so...
I miss my friends from Harding soo much!! I wish you guys could be with me right now!! we would have a blast and I could show you so many cool things!! :D:D
bye bye for now!!
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| let rain fall from concrete colored skies... |
[22 May 2003|12:30am] |
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sleepy/ in luv with the rain:) |
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Corazon Espinado- mana (in my mind;) ) |
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It is raining now..mmm...I love rain at night. I like the sensation of being nice and cozy in my house and hear the rain patter on the roof and on the windows. This rain is going to help the vegetation so much and it is going to be nice to see everything bright green and not that "I am thirsty" kind of green that plants take when they need water.
today has been a pretty layed back day. It was holiday and rainy so every one was indoors. I got to sleep in and just chill through out the day. I have been sooo sore though all day!!!! I started going to the gym with my mom (she has been going for a while now) a few days ago and I can really tell how out of shape I am. It hoits a lot to the point where I can barely walk down the stairs:( But I'll tough it out;).We had yummy lunch and dad had made barbecue as soon as it stopped raining for a while and we had barbecued shrimp too!! reminded me so much of the week in Daytona with my family. (the shrimp did). Nory was supposed to come over but of course it was rainy and I can totally understand that it is days like these that you just want to be indoors and relax. so we put off our visit another few more days;). I tried calling Yuki but i think she changed her phone number...I 'll have to get it from nory probably.
I did a lot of singing in my room:D It is these days that i get inspired and sing and sing and sing. The little bit of ocean I can see from my room looked so cool because it blended with the clouds and I couldn' t tell where the ocean line stoped and where the sky line started hehe:p. Ilike my view. Besides the fact that I can see a bit of ocean (especially on clear days ) I have all the roof tops of the houses that go down the hill and the eucalyptus trees and to my right waaay to my right there is that great big hill that I couldn't even see the tip of because it was hidden in clouds. I started my Boston puzzle with my mom and so far we have done the edges and most of the sky. I am excited to finish it and frame it and put it on my wall:D.
I watched "the other sister" today. I loove that movie. it is like one of my favorites. And then since I liked watching it so much I listened to the soundtrack afterwards :p.Oooh!! I was watching an old episode of "Felicity" and it was an episode when Felicity and ben were having some troubles and Ben was confused and stuff and ...that is a long story but... Ben gets invited by this one girl (that is sooo not for him by the way... luckily he realizes it too and runs back to Felicity because she is like made for him or something I think) to Southampton!!!!!I was like "yess!!! I have been there too!!!" .
Since I went to NYC I always see scenes in movies that take place in places like Times Square and stuff and even one time the people in the movie were like standing in front of Sbaro's !!!!! I ate lunch there!!!!! :D it is cool to see places I have been to on the movies like that.
Anywayz...I just got done watching "the fugitive " with Harrison Ford and Tommy Lee Jones ...and I am getting kind of tired so I think I am going to go ahead and call it a day:)
I can't say this enough but..I am soo glad to be home. it is like home is a place where I can totally forget my worries and it is like I am in another world and forget all the sad moments. I like sitting by the fireplace in the living room or just walking around the house and have that soft smokey smell that just lets you know there is a fire on.
I had a lot of fun today telling JD about neat stuff about going to harding. I like to tell him all the funny things tha happen and he really likes to listen so I get even more enthusiastic about it all hehe:p He even asked me " are you going to transfer to another school?" and I was like "no way! not unless I absolutely need to which will prob not be my case!";)
He also had fun telling me about funny stuff that he has experienced since he got to SEK. he is in Daniel's (David's younger brother) old class and he told me that...when Daniel was at SEK he was known as the smelliest in his class but since he got there Daniel is only 2nd!lol. BUT! they only figured this out on Senior Trip when JD shared a cabin with 3 other guys in Bariloche. I was all "okkk that is enough information for one day!" LOL. Yeah guys are wierd that way. they find that kind of thing amusing for some reason (I did laugh but you know...)
oh! and it looks like this whole "mood swing" thing that guys go through in the spring is not only a Harding thing!! David told me that at OBU guys were all of a sudden wanting to have a girlfriend at the end of the year! David finds it kind of sad..as do I since when your friends get boy or girlfriends they don't have a lot of time for you .:(
but oh well... se la vi for many people! not for me that is for sure! hehe:p.
It was wierd chatting with David about all the advantages that singleness brings. It was a nice kind of wierd:).
Oh!! I finally got to chat with lindsay last night!! i was soo glad to finally get to talk to her.But since she and Andrea are doing intersession I can only catch them for a bit and then they need to get off to study:( but oh well.. i at least get to hear from there from time to time:D.
mm.. I love the sound of rain!!!
buenas noches a todos!!!!
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| ...maybe this was made for me...to lay on my back in the middle of a field... |
[21 May 2003|12:15am] |
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maybe there's a loving God- Sarah Groves |
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I have wanted to do that for a long time. Go to a grass covered field and lay on my back and just lay there and look up at the sky. I have done it before but I didn't appreciate it the way I would now.
And once again it is the end of another day of my life. Another day full of so many things that I cannot count. Too many breathes taken and too many images have entered my mind through my eyes to even count. Every time you move your eyes another image enters your mind and it files away somewhere ..sometimes it is remembered and sometimes it is forgotten and covered in dust and maybe once in a lifetime brought back as a memory in a dream when you sleep.
My body is so sore. I started going to the gym with my mom and it is a lot of fun but once I get home I realized how sore my body is. Need to get back in shape;). But it feels good to be exercising again. Makes me feel more healthy and like i am taking better care of myself. Like I felt before I left to the states.
These past 2 days I have felt really awkward. This whole being back home thing has really got to me . more than I thought it would, even. Like..I just look at all the friends I had back in high school and the lives they lead now and it is just nothing like I would've imagined. especially in hugo and daniela's case.
Yesterday me and my mom went to visit "big Daniela and little daniela" . She is precious. And so sweet and happy and she smiles at you and gurgles and does all that baby talk that just makes me want to eat her with kisses hehe:p. we had a good visit and we got to talk about different things. She told us about how the delivery went and just different anecdotes of the past 4 months. it was really interesting to hear her. but I could not help but feel awkward at the thought of ... Hugo. I am so proud of him . He took responsibility right away and you can tell he has made sure the baby has what she needs. and she makes sure Daniela is well off too. You just don't see that kind of thing anymore hardly. MOst cases you hear that a guy gets a girl pregnant and then runs off. But I always knew that would not be the case with Hugo.
I have been doing a lot a lot of reminiscing and looking at old journals from high school and I have found a bunch of things that I had forgotten about that affect me so much right now. I wonder when I will get to the point where I will look at old journals and laugh? I haven't reached that point yet that is for sure. when I read what I had to write it is like I am living it all over again in my head and it becomes so real to me and all the feelings and emotions I had return and it feels like it did when it was actually happening.
You know what is wierd? the first 2 special people in my life are more vivid to me right now then the last! I guess that is understandable though . I mean I have talked to both of them recently and read things about them that I wrote way back when and ...instead with the last of the 3 I have had no contact whatsoever in I don't know how long. that is probably why .
as bad as it might sound... I feel like "another hand me down". I remember the pains I felt with each person when I realized the relationship wasn't working andwith each one it was so different. Neither of them were at all fun. but they were all different kinds of hurt. Just wierd thoughts...
I dont' want to sound like I am depressed or anything because I really am not. I am just a person that thinks a lot. that is why I am quiet a lot of the time. if I am silent it doesn't necessarily mean I am upset or tired or anytyhing. It is just something I do a lot of. some people like to jog, others like too cook, others like to take a drive, others like to write (I was that way and I feel it coming on again) ...I think. Kind of like my mom. we are just very "thoughtful" people hehe:P just a lot of mixed emotions but nothing I can't handle;) I am not letting it get to me or anything...just something I have on my mind for now. If I know myself enough...tomorrow I will be thinking about something totally different.
It is raining so hard. I am glad because we need the rain down here. It has been all afternoon. I love the rain. especially on days like today when I am comfy in my very own room with some soft music playing and just laying there listening to the rain hit the roof and the windows and watch the water drops slide down the glass. Makes me feel relaxed.
I am starting a puzzle of Boston ,MA. it is soo pretty. it is going to take a while to make but ihave the time now;) I am going to frame it when I am done and hang on one of my bedroom walls.
I am determined to go to Boston. Maybe on Xmas or New Years when we are In MA visiting my aunt. She did tell us that since we went to NYC last time it was Boston's turn hehe:p I hope it is!! that would make me soo happy. I really feel that Boston is a place I would love to live. I haven't been there so I couldn't say for sure. but as far as I know. I can sooo see myself having a loft of my own and walking down the streets and having hot chocolate at a cafe and walking to work or to the bay. That would make me very happ:).
Life is so much better when it kept simple. simple is good;). Especially when you mix simplicity with adventure!! that is the mix i want in my life. I want to travel the world and see so many amazing things that are out there. traveling isn't complicated. but it is adventurous. Just right for me!
Denice XYZ --> did you know that they use camel noises in slow motion to make the sound of tornados in the movie "Twister" ? and did you know that in order to make that movie they actually destoyed part of Wakita for the setting and then rebuilt the entire thing when they were done?
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| to my prince charming wherever you are... |
[20 May 2003|04:25pm] |
that is if you even exist....
My heart was once just like a home...with many rooms and open doors...And I always let love in...It would change the rooms around and then...Leave them empty.
Until one by one I locked each door...and soon I forgot what love was for...but I never gave up hoping...so I left just one door open...in case you found me.
We'll paint the walls from blue to white...and set the mood by candlelight...together we'll keep out the cold...and I'll still be there when you're old...if you'll let me...
So there's a room in my heart for you...if your trust has been stolen too...if you walk softly on this worn out wooden floor...and leave behind you the hurt you've had before...there's a room in my heart for you....
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| spilled her coffee broke her shoe lace...smeered the lipstick on her face... |
[18 May 2003|11:26pm] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
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music |
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peaceful silence..:) |
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I am getting shweeeeepy!! I am chatting with Katie now... I have talked to a bunch of people today.
well for one I talked to every one that was at church today. OH wow!!! I was sooo glad to see every one!!!!!!I got to see all the kids and they are all soo big and beautiful!!! And the kids came to sit next to me just like the old days. and Julio gave me my Bible when it was time forthe sermon and it was just like I remembered it. Oh I loved it! and on top of that after church there was a men's meeting and so a bunch of the ladies went out together to have lunch at the mall!! just like before!! they have been doing it all along but for me it was great to get back after so long and go back to doing the same stuff we did before I left to go to college. JayJay and vicky and tonito and both Catalinas and Julio, and Barbara and Melanie and aall the rest are gorgeous. I couldn't stop kissing and hugging them.:D:D
in the afternoon it was just me and my mom in the house. And so I did laundry and watched "the Grinch" and part of an old episode of Dawson's Creek where Pacey is in New Orleans and there is this part where he walking on the streets and he was walking on a street iwas on !!! that was soo cool I was all " I was there! I was there!" heheeh:P. But that series is just too nasty so I don't watch very much of it. I just like to check up on Joey once in a while since she is pretty and like the only relatively sane one on the show though...she is waay different than she was her sophomore or junior year.
And I got to chat with Stefanie and Johnny and Andrea and I just got off from chatting with...David!!! he is like never on but he was tonight so we chatted for a while about random stuff and that was nice. He is doing great. He is doing that whole basic training stuff to become a soldier. I hope he never gets shipped off that is for sure!:) I just want that whole ordeal over there to be over!!sooon!!
anyways...I got to talk to all them and now I am chatting with Katie and she is upset because the HU website is down...what is new??? and I also talked with Nory on the phone for a while and we are getting together on Tuesday to catch up on all our news . she was shocked I was single and I was shocked for the same reason in her case hehehe.
let's see... i watched MIB 2 with my mom and dad and that was fun. My dad likes the dog the best :p. I think I do too.:D But it is nothing like part one that is for sure! ;) part 2s are never as good as part 1s...well..almost ever.
it is getting late...I am the only one up right now. well besides Katie but she isn't exactly here heh...
oh I hope it all works out so that Stef can come here for a while next month that would be great!!!!!
nite for now!!!!
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| Se la Vi |
[17 May 2003|11:18pm] |
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no music...just the TV from mom and dad's room ;) |
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I am so full of mixed emotions right now. Like... I miss Harding but at the same time I am soo glad to be at home. But with being at home comes all those other feelings that just mix and make me feel...strange.
For one I forgot the other day to mention that I talked on the phone with Daniela and then with Hugo. That was sooo wierd. Daniela used to hate babies and now she is all about them since she had hers. She was so enthusiastic telling me about her color of eyes and hair and length and personality. And I was just soo glad to hear that she is loving her baby and so happy. But at the same time is just wierd. And the thought that she had it with Hugo! that just gives me the goosebumps. I remember some of the things that Hugo used to tell me in High School and it is just wierd to look back on those things and look at his life now. I am like "wow! talk about change of mind!". when I called Hugo right away I had this wierd feeling inside. It was great to talk to him and hear what he was up to and everything. He is still studying Business which I recall him telling me he hates but I guess since he has that kind of "you will inherit the company" family he is kind of forced to do that. And he was telling me how coincidental it was that I should call him when for some reason that week he had been remembering me a lot because he had gone to Renaca beach and remembered that we used to watch sunsets together. And he told me we need to get together and since we only live like 6 blocks away now that won't betoo hard. What I think is funny is that he not once mentioned his daughter (AAAHHHHHH THAT SOUNDS SOOO WIERD!!!!). Oh well... he sounded like he had a lot on his mind so maybe...he forgot??? I think he and Daniela are still together but even if they aren't Daniela was telling me that he goes to visit her and the baby 3 or 4 times a week since he is studying and all.
anywho..that is one thing that just gives me this wierd sensation. And on Monday me and mom are going over to meet the baby (who's name is Daniela by the way just like her mother) and that is going to be ...just...freaky...and what would make me like...I don't know...go bizurck or something...would be if I were there and all of a sudden Hugo arrives!!!!!! That would be just awkward!!
On other terms... it is wierd to just be riding around in the car and see all the things that I used to look at and be like "oh I saw that yesterday" kind of thing. the ocean is amazing and every day that I lived here it never stopped amazing me. But now it is even more than before. And not just the ocean... driving by St Peter's gives me the creeps! I am like aaah this is soo wierd!!
yesterday was a good day. Tom and Pam flew in and Roland and Tom (an elder from Austin Ave) came in from Santiago for the day. It was great to get to visit with them. Pam and Tom have been going through some pretty rough times. Tom's dad died of bone cancer last week and so they are all still recovering from that loss. But Pam was telling me and my mom about how tom handled the situation and it makes me soo proud of Tom. My dad and Tom are awesome men. they really are. Unlike any others i have ever known. In fact, before tom's dad died, one of the last things he said was how proud he was of his son. Isn't that just amazing??
Well... we all went out to lunch together and the place we went to happened to be like half a block from St Peters!!! it was all too much for me hehe:p but the food was great and I had not had such good "parrillada" since well..before I left Chile to go to the US. When we got home I lay down with my mom in her bed and we took a nap and just relaxed and watched TV.I didn't want to move from there. I felt so comfy and like i belonged right there. After that it was just family time for the rest of the day and we ate in the TV room and watched "Romeo and Juliet" which my dad and brother were not happy about but oh well...Leo Dicapprio looks soo good in that movie hehee:p and then we just spent the whole rest of the day together. today I slept in :D:D:D And then I just hung out with JD and I showed him how fun Veggie Tales really are (wink to JD ;) ) and then I showed him pics of my first year in college and then we started lunch...mmmm....lasagna...mmm:D:D:D and then me and mom headed out to the ladies meeting. It was sooo great to see all (well most) of the women!!! they all had great big smiles and hugs and it was great. we spent all the afternoon and evening together and ate and talked and joked around and just a bit of everything. I love them to death!! :D
I got to meet Claudia's baby!!!!! Camila!!!! she is adorable!!!! and she is a happy baby and smiles and 'talks' to you and she is just a wonder!! like all babies are!! :)i gushed over her the whole time. I can't help it! I hadnt' gotten to see her till today!
It has been a great day. Just a time to spend with ladies from church and visit with them and catch up on what has happened in a year. (school year)
JD...he is doing soo great. I am soo proud of him. Every one has been telling me how JD is now a changed persone since he started going to SEK. He is so happy and always out doing stuff with his class. And people from his class call him and come over and invite him places and he is just so involved. and he plays the guitar now. He is soo talented!!! and he is just more mature now. he isn't my little brother anymore. He is just my brother. And I respect him so much more now. and we have so much more fun together now too!!!!
Wow this is soo neat!! I am chatting with Katie right now and we are talking about how we feel so different now then when we first started college. we both feel the same way!!!
she is great. and i take advantage of every chance I get to chat with people from Harding. so far I have just chatted with Andrea Katie and Jared. But I am hoping I will get the rest online too ;)
for now i have GOT to get to bed!!!! =O
nite nite!!!!!
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| I just saw a lunar eclipse!!! |
[15 May 2003|11:33pm] |
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opening song for Spring Sing 2003 from downstairs:D:D:D |
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that was sooo neat!!! I hadn't seen an eclipse since way back when i lived in Argentina I think. But that was a solar one. It was neat to sit out in the balcony and look at it with binoculars with my dad. I realized that half the time I don't seem to realize or...remember is more like it ...that that thing that lights up the dark is not just a white circle. It is a sphere!! a ball!!! just floating there like everything else is. Clinging to nothing and yet staying in its place perfectly. Nature works so perfectly. it is perfectly programed to an extent that we can't understand. The position of the sun and the moon alter the tide of the sea and that affects the coast because the waves hit on the rocks and as time goes by the coast changes. It is just amazing. And that all just happens to randomly work out perfectly somehow because of some unexplainable explosion...riiiiiiiiight...;).
today has been a good day. A few things that I have done have left me feeling kind of strange but that is just because "se la vi". Pampo left this morning back to Mendoza. I wish he could've stayed longer but I was just glad i got to see him and I know that it was a real comfort for dad to see him. I kind of slept in but after saying bye to Pampo at 8:30 I couldn't really get back to sleep. So I just lay there and went over our Spring Sing show in my mind all the different sensations and stuff. Phsyco I know but ....uu well ...hehee:pI guess it is because since I watched the video yesterday night...
(I hear my mom watching it downstairs again:D)
I think I might join her here in a minute.
After I got up I went downstairs to get something to eat and Bruni was here (she is the lady that helps my mom around the house) and we just chit chatted about stuff. and she was telling me about the whole "mechoneo" issue. Mechones are the university freshman here by the way;). Those seniors really cross the lines with some of the things they do and especially with the girls. And she was telling me that her daughter was even scared of going to college for fear of getting forced into something she doesn't want to do. Bruni was telling me some pretty terrible stories about things that had been done to this one freshman girl and I was like "wow".It just makes me upset. I am glad that I am not going to college here but I still wish no one had to go through any of it. it isn't fun at all.
anyways...I'm just rambling on...in the afternoon I watched TV and learned the channels all over again hehe:p and then Pili and Enrique came over and we visited with them and then after that Fransisco and Igor and Hugo came here after work like they usually do and we all eat together. it was so neat because it was like in the old days. I love how after people get out of work they come over here for a bit. it is just a lot of fun to have a full house all the time. I missed it all sooo much.:)
and now I can enjoy it again:D
Hm...she is watching the show and I really want to watch it again:D makes me feel like I am there again when i watch it.
I guess I'll go join my mom now.
have a good night!!!!!!
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| memories... |
[15 May 2003|01:26pm] |
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as close as a heartbeat are song of her lips..Jars of Clay |
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I just closed my journal from the year 2001. I feel so wierd. It is like for past few hours I have been reliving that year.
I "was taking a trip down memory lane" and I got out a bunch of boxes with stored stuff of mine. I found things I wrote about Javier Ortiz in elementary. Oh wow that was a big crush. Lasted 3 years!!:O and then I found stuff I wrote about Javier Viganego. that crush lasted about 3 years too. But that was in high school. and THEN I found the journal that I started while I was on vacation with Nory in the 9th Region. It has "Hugo" written all over it. Wow I don't remember having been so focused on him but by what I had to say I guess i was hehe;pI had forgotten so much stuff. It was funny some of things I did that I had forgotten about had me giggling and falling on the floor. Wow... I was wierd back then . I was a confused little girl. Liked to make things more complicated then they really were. I feel strange. Like reading that journal makes me feel like I am back in high school and I feel like what happened between me and Hugo happened just now or something. He was the first person that I actually liked and he liked me back. Nothing ever really happened but there were a few times that we almost became a couple but for some reason or another it didn't happen. He is a good guy. I need to call him and Daniela too because I want to see how they are doing and also get to know their baby.
It is sooooo wierd to say that!!! oh my goodness!!! Hugo is a daddy!! what in the world?? well I hope that they really love each other and that they are prepared for raising a child.
I can't believe that the person I was close to for the first time is so distant and a dad...hmmm.. it is really wierd.
anywayzzz...just thought I'd type that down a bit.
my parents just got back .they had to clean out my dad's hand and he says they made him see stars and moons and little birdies all around (pain:( ) but I guess it is better now .
I am sooo hungry!!!!! mom is like "let's eat !!"
gotta go for now.
it is soo nice to be home.:)
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| aunque corras o te escondas no puedes escapar... |
[15 May 2003|12:25am] |
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escape- enrique iglesias..why?..no clue |
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i am shhoooo tiod!!!!!!! I need to get to bed. I was just writing an e-mail and now i am soo ready to get to bedsie!!
today has been a great day. I didn't get to sleep in as much as I would've liked to but oh well...it was all worth it;).
we went to the hospital in the morning and we picked up my dad from the hospital and then we brought him home. it is soo great to have him at home now!! it makes me soo happy!!!! he is doing ok. His hand hurts and is uncomfortable of course. But he is doing ok and he walks around and does what he is able to with only one hand. We have to watch him though because he seems to forget his delicate condition and we have to be like "ok daddy slow down " hehee;P
I visited with my family most of the day and unpacked and got my room looking more "lived in" and I even got to chat some with Andrea and Katie on IM !!!! I was soo excited about that!!!!! I can't believe that we are chatting from so far away. with andrea i am used to chatting a room away and with katie only a dorm away.
Cruz came over with Vicky and Jayjay and we talked with them and visited and looked at pictures and stuff. and then we all went to the TV room and we watched part of my SS video. every one liked it soo much and they were like " I can see why you won first place!" and all this stuff and i am like =D(great big smile)
I chatted with Katie later in the night and we just talked about random stuff. About my dad and her mom and her friend's baby's circumsicion today and toilet cleaning and just rando stuff like that. it was great though . Katie you are one of a kind girlie!!!!:)
Since I got home all we have eaten is yummy stuff. for lunch we had shrimp and sauce and "reineta" it is like flounder but not quite and then at night we had a marine soup and empanadas mmmm!!! yummyyyY!!!!! and the nwe all had root beer floats and we visited some more....
Bogey is soo playful. all he wants to do is play play play. and my cat doesn't like that! oh well... they will have to get used to each other I guess. they will sooner or later.
I am tired.
Need to get to bed!!!!!!
nite nite!!!!
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| estoy en Vina!!!! |
[13 May 2003|04:23pm] |
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In a little while I'll be thinking about you... =) |
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Yess!!! I am HOME finally!!!!! and so far it has been awesome!!!! I got to see my family and especially my dad. They were going to let him come home today but they decided to keep him in one more night.
I still cant believe how I managed to get here and all alone!!
Right now I am on my brother's laptop that he uses for school..it is soo cool. About the neatest laptop i have ever seen. Right now he is at the movies with his class watching X2. I am so excited that he is seeing it because it was really good!!
Anywayzz...I got here alright and I didn't even get lost at the DFW airport!! :o and I had to change terminals too!! yeah i survived and it was really an adventure. I kind of liked it ;). And it is a good experience to use for my future since I am going to do so much travelling and stuff.
I was overjoyed to see my family and almost as soon as we got to Vina we went to the hospital where i got to see my dad for a while and then we came here and I got a special tour of my new house. I like it a lot. Even more than the old house. I got to see Sam and meet my new dog Bogey (black lab) he is soo playful and always jumps on you and stuff. i have just hung out at the house since. I went with my mom to drop JD off at school since he skipped this morning to come meet me at the airport and the school is looking soo good! it is set in the middle of the forest and all the classrooms have a great view of the Con Con bayou.
we ate empanadas!!! that made me sooo happy!!! and they were soo yummy!!! and now I am about to start unpacking. I like my house so much! it is soo cute! and cozy and all that good stuff,)
this keyboard is kind of wierd...oh well I will do my best to spell right hehe:p
I am so happy to be home. I am just sad it isn't forever and just for a few months. It was great to step out of customs and see a group of loved ones standing there with their arms open and big welcoming smiles. very heart warming.
I guess I should get to packing... I am soo excited about being back!!! It is going to be so fun. I missedthe ocean so much and i really felt great to see it again.
have a great day!
please pray for my dad to keep getting better. Many people have been praying for him and God has answered all our prayers. He is doing extraordinarly well for the kind of injury he suffered. Thank God!!
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| Our God is an awesome God |
[13 May 2003|12:07am] |
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theme for "I am Sam" |
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My dad had an accident on Saturday and nearly lost the fingers on his left hand. he had micro-cirgury and it looks like he will be able to keep his fingers though 2 of them can't move.
You know...bad things happen...there is no way to keep bad things from happening. Living for God does not mean that we are suddenly inmune to all the bad things that happen in the world. because though God's followers aren't of this world...they are still in the world and thus need to mingle as lights glowing around this earth of darkness. My dad...is one of the bravest men I have ever known.
His life is : service.
He gets out of bed every morning to serve and does not stop until he is asleep at night. He is involved in helping so many people that are in need that he is forced to push his work aside for the good of his loved ones. And he doesn't do it out of obligation but because he wants to. That is the beauty of his life. He does service because he has that passion not because he feels like he has to be that way. Everything that he has gone through has formed him. He has been through so much in his life.He had a terrible childhood and yet you wouldn't think it to see him. I find people that use their past and their disfunctional families as excuses to justify the messes they get themselves (emphasize: themselves) into as....totally lame.
Bill told me something that marked me this morning after I hung up from talking to my mom. He said....out of the bad that happens something good always comes. It is easy to be let down when bad things happen because we get so entertwined with the bad that we forget that it is our choice what to do with the bad . There are two ways to go about it. you either spend your life mopeing about it and sink deeper and deeper into despair...or you go for the one that will get you where you want to go.. you take the bad that happens to you and you LEARN from it. Everything that happens in our lives is a lesson. I have seen that through out my life. So many times I have thought to myself "what is going to happen to me?" "how am I going to survive this?" and then finally I fall into despair. That was silly of me . Because it is when I start to worry that I forget that God is watching over me and that he will act in my life if I only trust him and have faith in him.
Believe it or not...you live by faith. No matter what they may say...sight is only sight...it doesn't get you anywhere. You don't see your ancestors and yet you have faith that they once were. You don't see the next step you take and yet you have FAITH that it is there...and you take it.
that is how my father lives. I try my best to but God knows I falter and forget that he is there with me at all times and I let him down. We all do. But he gives us the chance to get right back up. There is a way to start over you know? It is only a matter of looking. "seek and ye shall find" God's inspired word says.
My dad was on that ambulance and all he said was "let it be God's will". He was going to the hospital totally convinced that he was going to lose his fingers. And that if that was God's will then so be it. How can that not be an example on how to live life?
Tonight I talked on the phone again and she said that the doctors were pleased with how the operation had gone and they had gotten the arteries connected. and the blood flowing and everything. And to my amazement...he could actually move 2 of his fingers. A day after cirgury.
If that doesn't tell you something is going on that we can't understand then I don't know what will. Maybe telling you that every single human being is different maybe ? telling you that there is no one else like you? out of millions of millions?
we have limited minds. we can't understand everything . But I find comfort in knowing that some one that loves me knows exactly what is going on and wants me and every one else on this planet to love Him and live for Him so that he can "pour blessings" on every one. He tells us to test Him on this. He says in his inspired word to test him and see of he doesn't pour the flowgates of heaven on us if we only turn to Him.
With that kind of love involved in our creation and existence...no wonder the people that search for answers in words of men as smart and yet as clueless as you and me don't know where to turn anymore.
I love you dad. God is with you every step of the way. You have hundreds of people praying for you...not only here but in Texas and every where where some one is praying for the people that are in physical pain to recover.And He will bless you because you live to serve Him. and no matter what is going on you are always aware and faithful that he will keep you safe.
I want to be like you.
please pray for him and for all those who are in physical and spirtual pain. that they might find comfort in their loving creator.
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