4:44PM
Yeah, I know it's been awhile since I last posted, but I just don't seem to have time for much of anything anymore.
Well, I guess the first thing on the agenda for today's session would have to be Sunny's visit. She was supposed to stay until the 31st but ended up going back on the 24th cause her b/f's grandmother passed away and he was having a really hard time dealing with it. It seems everytime she comes to visit it always gets cut short. I understand why she needed to go back early, but there always seems to be so much drama surrounding her life. Then when she gets home the car broke down on the way back from the bus station and then her roomie (her b/f's ex) tells them she's moving out and they find a bunch of their stuff packed in with hers. Like I said too much drama. Then today I get an email from her telling me that her pregnancy test came back positive. Now I'm all for people having a child when they are ready in ALL areas of their lives to have them, but Sunny is just not ready in any aspect of her life to be having a child. They are not financially set up for it, she's not physically set up for it (too many health problems), and she's not ready emotionally to become a mother. I think she's a good person and all, but I just don't really think this is a "good" thing. But she seems to be excited about it. She had mentioned when she was here that she thought she might be pregnant. Well, the only thing I can do is wish her the best of luck and hope that if and when the child makes it into this fucked up world that it will grow up "normal" and healthy.
What next? Well, I guess I should speak of my best friend, Angel. I really miss us being able to hang out together or just talk on the phone. Hell, today was the first time in a long time that I've actually talked to her for more than a few minutes at a time. I guess Mr. McKain has been calling her and she's standing her ground with him which I think is good. It seems to me that they ( her ex and the cunt-in-law) are still trying to play mind games with her. She even told him that when they were together (her and him) that the could mind fuck anyone, but seperate he'd lose. He asked her if the emails about her filing for divorce were true and she said yes, he asked her to stop the divorce, yet told her that he didn't want her to get her hopes up that he would come home again. Now, what the fuck is that supposed to mean? I think they are trying to tell her things that will either guilt her into sending him money to stay out of jail or to make her sit and wait on him til whenever he decides that he should just come back and be the father and husband he's supposed to be. What they don't realize is that Angel is tired of the hurt and tired of having to be the one to always forgive, forget, and move on past whatever shit he decides to pull. She is too wonderful a person to have to deal with that shit anymore. I tend to thing of the negative side of things when it comes to Mr. McKain, but fuck, he has given me no reason to think any other way when it comes to him. I guess he talked to KS, she IMed me lastnight when I was trying to get a hold of Angel online and you know what was sad about that? She didn't seemed to excited about it, she didn't really say anything other than that she talked to her dad and that she loved me. Yes me.....not him. I guess even children can get tired of hurting after so long. I guess according to what he told Angel, that if Mr. McKain doesn't have 200.00 he's going to jail. I hope he does, but only because maybe it will give him a wake up call as to what his life has become since he walked out on his wife and children yet again. I know that may seem harsh, but sometimes a person has to hit rock bottom before they can see what they had and/or could've had. Too bad sometimes those lessons are so hard learned and others sometimes get hurt in the process.
I guess Angel and DM have been getting along ok. I don't get to talk to him either. I spend whatever time I can with Tom and no offense to DM, but when I can make the time to use the phone, I really just want to talk to Angel and here her voice. He finally has gotten himself a job and Angel says he seems to be happy about that. Now if he could just get the fuck away from that cunt he's with and get with Angel like he knows he wants to be, everything would be so much nicer for him and Angel. If I EVER get my fucking voice back for more than a few hours a day, I plan on talking with him, but right now, on my off days I just pretty much talk to Angel on the phone and anyone else I deem important enough to risk my voice for. Not that he's not important, but he's not as important as she is to me! I love you Angel!!!!!!
On the brighter side of things, my job at Walgreens is going well, but here in the very near future, it may not be my job anymore. But I want to leave on good terms just in case I would ever need to work for them again. But also money talks and I may be getting hired on where Bri works and not having to stand on my feet all day and making almost 4.00 more on the hour is way too appealing to pass up. I would be working for the FTC and dealing with people who've had their identities stolen. I was supposed to go for the testing today, but Bri's mom couldn't make it down here to get me cause of the weather and the road conditions. She tried twice even, I'm just glad that she made it back home safe and sound. I called and talked to Bethany (the lady I'm interviwing with) and rescheduled for Thursday at 12:30. She was really understanding, she knew about Bri having to use my car and that I would have to make other arrangements to get there and today's interview was constigent on the road conditions. She said no problem, she understood and would see me on Thursday. That's the kind of people I want to work for. LOL No weekends and paid holidays that I don't have to work. Whoooo hoooooooo!!!! I might actually get to celebrate my birthday this year!! LOL I know financially things will get better for Tom and I. We usually don't have problems when I make the most money at a job and this should be no different. Though I do worry sometimes that he might feel a little bit akward about it, but what the hell? Who cares who makes the most money? It's all OUR money anyway!! And he's not as into the whole societal thinking that if the man makes less money it makes him a lesser man. There's only one thing that would make him less of a man in my eyes and that would be to cheat on me or to become a lazy bum without a job, but Tom and I both enjoy the little things that money CAN buy too much for that to happen. That's why we've both held onto such shitty jobs in the past. LOL
Well, that's all I can think of to write about right now, got alot of things to do before tonight. Will talk to everyone later on. ~~~~Demonique
hopeful