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[14 Sep 2004|11:58pm] [ mood | tired ] Well, I finally have my computer back!!!!! Yeah!!! I'm so freakin' happy to have a computer again!!! Just in case you couldn't tell, I'm really happy to have a computer again. Bri built me a knew computer, and even though for the moment it has a minor problem, I love it! Not sure yet, but we made have gotten a bad processor, but at least it's still under warranty. Well, it's been a very eventful few months since I last wrote. Anna has moved in with her mom, as I may or may not have mentioned since I was last on here to write, and it feels like sometimes she's on another planet. But we did manage to hang out for a while a few days ago. And let me tell you something, we can be some really devious bitches when we're together. LOL Anyway, we've decided to plot our own form of getting even with some of the people that have really been cunts and dicks to us and rest assured each will have their own day of reckoning. It will come soon to some and later to others! I can only hope that in the end they will all come to know the pain and suffering they've caused those around them to suffer. I love Anna and I'm really sick of the bullshit she keeps having to go through because of other stupid people and their self-centered bullshit. David has been written off and the rate that Mr. McKain is going he's soon to join the rank of the meaningless and lowlifes we've come to know. He is now refusing to even call his daughter. What kind of father is that? I'm very protective of those I call my friends as he well knows and I can be very vindictive. Good thing he's in another state at this point!!! I'm so tired of seeing Kristin hurt and sad because of the stupid shit he pulls. I guess he's found another woman and given her a promise ring. What-the-fuck ever!!!!! He's still married and until he shows Anna the divorce papers he's really got alot of nerve. Anyway enough about the depressing and little people like him. Anna is a great person and sooner or later she will find her perfect match!!! As for Bri and Kym, I'm pretty sure that's a thing of the past!! All I can say about that is: "It's about fucking time!!!" I swear two of the most gentle, kind, and loving people I know, Bri and Anna are the two that seem to get fucked over the most. They have more to offer someone than anyone I know, too bad their not compatible!! LOL JK Anna and Bri! I feel the same way about Bri and his finding that special someone as I do about Anna and I hope and pray with all my heart that it happens soon for both for both of them. My job is going ok I guess. It's not that I hate my job, I just hate some things about it! I can't be as perfect as they want ALL their employees to be and I damn sure have stopped trying to make myself be. My current Team Leader is a really great guy and all, but that will be short lived as here in about a month our shift changes. I know he wants to spend time with his daughter (which I truly understand), but I think most of my team feels like we're gonna get shafted and get stuck with someone we don't want for a Team Leader. It's not just that Josh is our boss, it's he tends to be somewhat of a friend. At least as much as work permits him to be. You know the whole management/peon thing that isn't acceptable. Oh well, life goes on and we will survive. At least until those of us seeking employment elsewhere find it. Aspen's loss not ours! I've made quite a few friends at Aspen that I'd hate to leave behind, but hopefully if my day comes to move above and beyond Aspen I will have ways to stay in touch with them. I already have email contacts for Dusty and Josh and phone numbers for a few of the others, so I don't have to lose the friendships I've managed to gain. Well, Tom and I will be married a year come October and though we have to wait til that weekend to celebrate I think we will have a nice anniversary. Bri is already helping me plan something on my end and I'm sure that Tom will have his own added something special. I have scheduled a three day weekend and it's a payday week, so it could be interesting! LOL Well, that's all I have time for right now, I will try to get back into writing more often now that I have my own computer again. Take care everyone and look for more from me at another time. ~~Demonique~~ post comment

Long Time.....No Write!! [13 Jul 2004|09:28am] [ mood | indifferent ] Well, I know it's been awhile since I've written, but I'm still sharing a computer with Bri. LOL Alot has happened since I last wrote, including I've been cross trained at my job, and sometimes that's a really bad thing. LOL But only when I'm tired from lack of sleep or not feeling well. But overall I still like my job and the money's good. Now, I just gotta get Tom motivated to find a better paying job. Well, my best friend now leaves like a universe away! LOL Ok, not really a universe, but for all I get to see her and talk to her now, it sure feels like it. Hopefully we can get together this weekend and hang out for a bit. I miss her alot and right now her computer's even down and with me having to share one, it makes things really difficult sometimes. :( But she's still my best friend and always will be. Bri is working overtime this week, so today and Friday his mom will be taking me to work and on Tuesday and Wednesday, Stella will give me a ride. I've got to find the time to get my license. But if I take the time off from work to take the tests, I still will not have a way to get to the branch. LOL Angel's ex-husband has finally proven just how much of a loser he is. He hasn't called his daughter in two months. What the fuck is his deal?? He finally called Angel a little while ago but only because she told Brandy that she knew that him and her were together. I swear that those two low lifes just seem to want to whatever they can to hurt her. I sure hope they get what they deserve in the end and I'm sure they will. Well, I can't write as much as I'd like to as I have to leave for work her in just a moment. Hopefully, I will be able to write more again soon. Talk to everyone later...........Demonique post comment

Yeah, I Know It's Been Awhile! [29 Apr 2004|09:35am] [ mood | aggravated ] I know it's been awhile since I've actually been able to sit down and write in this damn thing. LOL But it's really hard when you have to share a computer with someone and you don't want to compromise their time. It would be different if Bri and I worked different shifts but that's not the case. It's not too bad, I check my email accounts just about every day, but I try not to tie up his computer for my own use. Alot has happened since I wrote last, but I really don't know where to begin or even what I'm going to say at this point. LOL Anyway, here goes....... First thing I want to say is that I've decided a few things about some of the people that have came into my life, whether they are or have been a major part of it or not. David being top on that list! I thought he was a really good person, but I've come to the decision that he's really nothing but a liar and likes to play with people's emotions. In my opinion he's one step above being a loser! For the way he treated my best friend, Angel, I will never forgive him and even if by some act of God he and Angel ended up together, I would be nice to him, but I don't think I could ever treat like a good friend. Next on my list is Mr. McKain. I've come to the conclusion that he is also just a step away from being an actual loser. Why? Well, because I know in my heart that he is a good person, but he is lousy at making decisions that are right for him and those that love him, that's the only thing that keeps him from being an actual loser. The way he doesn't call his daughter really pisses me off, but then again, I think he tends to live for the moment and forgets about the long term consequences. Something he will come too realize, hopefully before it's too late. And Angel loves him, maybe not in the way she used to, but 14 years is alot to just give up on and walk away. Angel has a heart and that makes it even harder for her from time to time, but I also know that if he doesn't wake up soon, she will just walk away and there will be no going back. And then he will be sorry to learn that he's lost the best thing in his life......his wife and his children. And last, but not least, Jenny. This is someone I've tried many times to like and have not been able to do so no matter how hard I've tried and now it's pretty much a done deal. To make a long story short when Angel came back to Indy, my husband and I tried to help her get on her feet and make a life for her and her kids, up to and including getting her a phone in my husband's name. No big deal, it was paid, and everything was cool. Then Angel's brother moved in with her and still everything was cool. Then Jenny started having problems and Angel being a good friend and all around person moves her in with them. Jenny and Ben hit it off and end up together, still everything's pretty much ok. Then the phone gets shut off because the bill can't be paid. Why? Because Jenny is a lazy ass that won't get a job and talks Ben into quitting his. Angel of course is on a fixed income, but somehow she's supposed to pay all the bills. Whatever!! Well, needless to say, Tom and I are going to pay the bill. That's not what pisses me off though. This is what pisses me off.......Angel and Jenny are talking one day and Jenny says something about she wants to get one of those phones put in the house that you don't have to pay a deposit on and they run no credit check. When Angel asks her if they can get a phone like that what's wrong with just paying for the one they have? Jenny's reply was: 'Fuck that phone bill!' Excuse me??? Who the fuck is she to say that??? For one, I know she don't like me and could give a big rats ass one way or the other, but she has no right to just act like that phone bill wasn't a big deal. Of course it's not to her, she's not friends with Tom and I, she's not the one who feels bad because it didn't get paid, and she sure is fuck is not the one who's going to be paying it. Again, in my opinion, she's a lazy fucking cunt, that takes advantage of a good situation and when then chips get down, she's the one walking on top of them insteading of helping to pick them up. Wow, what a good friend to have......I think I want to go out and find six more just like her!!! And I want to go on "record" right now to say that I still love Angel with all my heart and no matter what people do or say, they can suck my ass before I let ANYONE or ANYTHING destroy our friendship. Well, there's more that I'd like to write about, but alas it's that time again.....will write again when I can. Talk to everyone again soon I hope......Demonique 3 comments|post comment

And It Just Keeps Getting Better...... [16 Mar 2004|01:48pm] [ mood | blah ] Well alot has happened since I last wrote. I've decided that David is a fucking asshole! He had told Bri that he could get him 50.00 for Kym's old car and then he sets it up with the toothless whore's brother and then Bri gets fucked over on it and as far as I'm concern David just didn't even act like he gave a fuck and friends don't treat other friends that way. Unfortunately it has caused even more of a rift between him and Angel. But somehow I think that may be better as he seems to not give a shit whether or not they stay friends or whether he stays friends with any of us at this point. Well, whatever he's the one losing out all the way around. Angel and I hung out on Sunday and went to eat lunch at the mall, while we were there I got a cell phone. That way I could talk to her whenever Bri was on the home phone and then he (Bri) went and bought him a cell phone lastnight after work. LOL It's cool though cause I can either call Angel on her cell phone for free or use the home phone, so it's all good. My job is working out ok. It sometimes gets to me, but overall it's cool and the paychecks are really nice. Tom's adopted mom, had surgery not too long ago and seems to be doing fine. My friend Sunny lost her baby, but they told her she's healthy enough that her and Jason could try again in a couple of months and they don't see any reason why she shouldn't be able to carry her baby to full term. I hope she gets what she wants, but I still wish she'd consider waiting alot longer than a couple of months. But that's not my decision it's her's. Well, I don't really have alot to say at this time, not that I feel like getting into, but will update you all again when I find time and energy. ~~~~Demonique post comment

Another Day in the Life...... [24 Feb 2004|10:33am] [ mood | busy ] Well, I still have a computer to use for the moment, and thought I'd better jump on here and try to get an update in while I had the time and the resources. LOL Work is going well, it can be a little trying sometimes, but overall I like it and it's worth the money I make. We've only lost three people out of our original training class so far. I think the rest of us will make it. Even Sandra, she's starting to catch on to things a little better. Alot has happened since I last updated. In fact I'm not sure where to begin. LOL I guess I should start with David. He has almost pissed me off the point that I'm ready to just tear into him. He hasn't called Angel in quite some time and has no fucking excuse. I figure if he can call her house to talk to me to get him out of trouble with the toothless wonder, but he can't even call her just to say hi. Well, I did talk to him when he called and told him that Angel was upset because he has done nothing but ignore her. He said that he hadn't been ignoring her, he's just been busy. I said that I understood that he's working two jobs, but there had to be some point where he could pick up the phone and call her for just a minute. I asked him if he got breaks at work and he said no, I said I bet you get a lunch and he said yes, I said then you need to find a minute during your lunch break to call. He seemed to not understand why Angel was upset with him and I told him to reverse the situation, everytime I tell her that he says he's going to call her and he doesn't how does he think that makes her feel? He said that he understood where I was coming from and would try harder to call her. Of course he hasn't yet, not that he said he'd call her the next day or anything, but if he don't call her soon, I'm going to have to let him have it. I even explained that right now Angel needs to know that all her friends are there for her while she's going through a tough time. If that doesn't make him call her from time to time after that, then he's not going to like me. Which brings me to the next item for my ranting.......the shit that Angel is having to deal with because she's such a good hearted person. Quick synopsis......her friend Jen was living with an abusive and controlling asswipe that she needed to get away from. She had no place to go, Angel gave her that place. Since then they've had to deal with CPS being called on them by Dennis for trumped up shit that isn't true. They get that dealt with, and then the damage to Angel's car starts and still continues as far as I know. Then the threatening email came. The email specifically mentioned Angel and her brother and then went on to say that everyone in the house better watch their backs. To me that includes the children as they are part of that house too. Well, Angel, thinking she was doing the right thing, called Mr. McKain to let him know what was going on. He gets all bent out of shape and starts talking about how she was going to MAKE him come to Indy and that if he HAD to come back to Indy to deal with this situation that he was going to bitch everybody out. Whatever!! Don't noone want him here, especially if he comes back because we forced his stupid ass to come back here. He claimed that all her friend's should be able to help her out, well what the fuck does he think we've all been doing? Well that's all I have time for now, will write again when I can. Talk to everyone later.~~~~Demonique post comment

[13 Feb 2004|09:18am] [ mood | cheerful ] Yet again I find myself without a computer, therefore causing me to have to share a computer and limiting the time that I have online. :( Bri is truly a wonderful person, but this weekend he is sending the computer we are both using to Kym. Something I can't for the life of me figure out. He claims that they are just talking and trying to be friends but she sure seems to get upset if he don't call her or I need to use the phone for a few minutes. Like lastnight, I had to ask Bri if I could use the phone for a few minutes just to touch bases with Angel as she's my ride to work this morning, and he hovered around me like he was making sure that I wasn't going to be on it for hours or something. So I'm resigning myself to the fact that now that he and I are on the same schedule for the most part, phone calls and computer time is going to be severely compromised. If I were to mention this though it would only cause a problem between him and I, so I figure I won't even bother mentioning it. There's no point and it won't solve anything. Now on to my new job. I like it so far. I mean like any job, I can see that it's going to have it's good days and it's not so good days, but overall I like it and think that I'm catching onto things really quickly. My only complaint at this time would be that things are not always the same depending on who you ask. But I figure I will just follow the suggestions of my TeamLead first and foremost while I'm still in the probationary period and that seems to be working out for the best right now. Most of my classmates are nice and I like all of them for the most part with the exception of Rachel and I'm not sure as to why that is except that her and I didn't click from day one. She's kinda loud and comes off like she thinks she's better than the rest of us. But she's ok overall. Sandra is pretty nice, we hang out on breaks whenever they're scheduled together, I worry that she may not be catching onto things as quickly as she may need to. Darnell is just crazy, but he's funny. Jim is kinda plain and quiet. Joe is also pretty quiet. Chuck is a big guy with a great sense of humor but stays pretty much to himself. Kirstine is really nice and actually looks like she belongs in an office somewhere. Lynette is really plain looking and keeps to herself most of the time. Cassandra is kinda offbeat in a good way and Jasmine is really funny and nice with a good sense of humor. That sums up my classmates. We lost two guys in the beginning. Shame really as they were really good looking and noone really got the chance to know them at all. The one guy, Dan, had to quit when his ex broke into his apartment and trashed everything and we don't know what happened with John, except that maybe he figured the job wasn't for him. Well, that's all I have time to write about at the moment as it won't be long before my wonderful and best friend Angel will be here. I'm glad that I get to see her before work today. It will surely make my day go by just a little bit better. She always brightens my day. Talk to everyone later............Demonique 1 comment|post comment

[27 Jan 2004|04:44pm] [ mood | hopeful ] [ music | 3 Doors Down ~ Kryptonite ] Yeah, I know it's been awhile since I last posted, but I just don't seem to have time for much of anything anymore. Well, I guess the first thing on the agenda for today's session would have to be Sunny's visit. She was supposed to stay until the 31st but ended up going back on the 24th cause her b/f's grandmother passed away and he was having a really hard time dealing with it. It seems everytime she comes to visit it always gets cut short. I understand why she needed to go back early, but there always seems to be so much drama surrounding her life. Then when she gets home the car broke down on the way back from the bus station and then her roomie (her b/f's ex) tells them she's moving out and they find a bunch of their stuff packed in with hers. Like I said too much drama. Then today I get an email from her telling me that her pregnancy test came back positive. Now I'm all for people having a child when they are ready in ALL areas of their lives to have them, but Sunny is just not ready in any aspect of her life to be having a child. They are not financially set up for it, she's not physically set up for it (too many health problems), and she's not ready emotionally to become a mother. I think she's a good person and all, but I just don't really think this is a "good" thing. But she seems to be excited about it. She had mentioned when she was here that she thought she might be pregnant. Well, the only thing I can do is wish her the best of luck and hope that if and when the child makes it into this fucked up world that it will grow up "normal" and healthy. What next? Well, I guess I should speak of my best friend, Angel. I really miss us being able to hang out together or just talk on the phone. Hell, today was the first time in a long time that I've actually talked to her for more than a few minutes at a time. I guess Mr. McKain has been calling her and she's standing her ground with him which I think is good. It seems to me that they ( her ex and the cunt-in-law) are still trying to play mind games with her. She even told him that when they were together (her and him) that the could mind fuck anyone, but seperate he'd lose. He asked her if the emails about her filing for divorce were true and she said yes, he asked her to stop the divorce, yet told her that he didn't want her to get her hopes up that he would come home again. Now, what the fuck is that supposed to mean? I think they are trying to tell her things that will either guilt her into sending him money to stay out of jail or to make her sit and wait on him til whenever he decides that he should just come back and be the father and husband he's supposed to be. What they don't realize is that Angel is tired of the hurt and tired of having to be the one to always forgive, forget, and move on past whatever shit he decides to pull. She is too wonderful a person to have to deal with that shit anymore. I tend to thing of the negative side of things when it comes to Mr. McKain, but fuck, he has given me no reason to think any other way when it comes to him. I guess he talked to KS, she IMed me lastnight when I was trying to get a hold of Angel online and you know what was sad about that? She didn't seemed to excited about it, she didn't really say anything other than that she talked to her dad and that she loved me. Yes me.....not him. I guess even children can get tired of hurting after so long. I guess according to what he told Angel, that if Mr. McKain doesn't have 200.00 he's going to jail. I hope he does, but only because maybe it will give him a wake up call as to what his life has become since he walked out on his wife and children yet again. I know that may seem harsh, but sometimes a person has to hit rock bottom before they can see what they had and/or could've had. Too bad sometimes those lessons are so hard learned and others sometimes get hurt in the process. I guess Angel and DM have been getting along ok. I don't get to talk to him either. I spend whatever time I can with Tom and no offense to DM, but when I can make the time to use the phone, I really just want to talk to Angel and here her voice. He finally has gotten himself a job and Angel says he seems to be happy about that. Now if he could just get the fuck away from that cunt he's with and get with Angel like he knows he wants to be, everything would be so much nicer for him and Angel. If I EVER get my fucking voice back for more than a few hours a day, I plan on talking with him, but right now, on my off days I just pretty much talk to Angel on the phone and anyone else I deem important enough to risk my voice for. Not that he's not important, but he's not as important as she is to me! I love you Angel!!!!!! On the brighter side of things, my job at Walgreens is going well, but here in the very near future, it may not be my job anymore. But I want to leave on good terms just in case I would ever need to work for them again. But also money talks and I may be getting hired on where Bri works and not having to stand on my feet all day and making almost 4.00 more on the hour is way too appealing to pass up. I would be working for the FTC and dealing with people who've had their identities stolen. I was supposed to go for the testing today, but Bri's mom couldn't make it down here to get me cause of the weather and the road conditions. She tried twice even, I'm just glad that she made it back home safe and sound. I called and talked to Bethany (the lady I'm interviwing with) and rescheduled for Thursday at 12:30. She was really understanding, she knew about Bri having to use my car and that I would have to make other arrangements to get there and today's interview was constigent on the road conditions. She said no problem, she understood and would see me on Thursday. That's the kind of people I want to work for. LOL No weekends and paid holidays that I don't have to work. Whoooo hoooooooo!!!! I might actually get to celebrate my birthday this year!! LOL I know financially things will get better for Tom and I. We usually don't have problems when I make the most money at a job and this should be no different. Though I do worry sometimes that he might feel a little bit akward about it, but what the hell? Who cares who makes the most money? It's all OUR money anyway!! And he's not as into the whole societal thinking that if the man makes less money it makes him a lesser man. There's only one thing that would make him less of a man in my eyes and that would be to cheat on me or to become a lazy bum without a job, but Tom and I both enjoy the little things that money CAN buy too much for that to happen. That's why we've both held onto such shitty jobs in the past. LOL Well, that's all I can think of to write about right now, got alot of things to do before tonight. Will talk to everyone later on. ~~~~Demonique post comment

[19 Jan 2004|09:45pm] [ mood | annoyed ] Well, I've just finished working a 9 and a half hour shift and wish that I could just go to bed for the next 20 hours. I'm really not impressed with this thing we call life at the moment. No joke!! It's probably a really good thing I don't own a gun at this point in time. I don't even know where to start with this entry. I don't really want it to come across as a bitch session, but I don't know how to make it so it's not one. LOL Helluva a delima huh? Anyway, I guess I can start with the fact that we have a house guest for the next two weeks. Sunny has come to visit from Virginia and God knows I love her, but she can be really loud sometimes and I'm so prone to migraines that sometimes it can be a little annoying. I'm glad she's here, but somehow the timing needed to be better. Don't know what that means, it's just how I'm feeling right now I guess. Yesterday, Bri and I got into a bit of a fight. And over stupid shit to top it off. He said some things that really hurt my feelings and in return I said some really mean things to him. We of course ended up talking things out, but it still didn't do much to make Sunny feel welcome on her first day in town. Bri complains about me saying things under my breath, which nine out of ten times has nothing to do with him and I complained about how I don't feel I or Tom can use the phone without him getting upset because Kym might call or something. He says that's not the case, but I feel differently. I'm not going to argue the point with him, I will just keep doing things the way I have been and be done with it. Tom and I are having problems and it's not something that just started. Which means that I loved him enough to marry him even though we have problems, but I just have NO ONE to talk to when things get me down, so therefore I keep them bottled up and eventually they build up and I explode in anger. Our problem is sexual and it seems that no matter how often we talk about it, it doesn't get any better. How can that be you might ask, when my hubby is only 24 years old. Well, first off his sex drive is more like that of a middle-aged man and mine is more like a 30 year old woman. He says that he doesn't feel that sex is the most important part of a relationship and that is something I agree with, but sex is important to a point. If I didn't think so highly of my marriage and I could lower my moral standards enough, I'd find me someone to just have sex with. Fuck it, why not? I'm not so sure he won't try to just that himself. I don't know what's going to be going on while him and Sunny are here by themselves. And we must remember that she gave head to CP after only talking to him on the phone and meeting him in person one time. What's to stop her from doing something with Tom? Yeah I know, I don't trust anyone anymore, but a very select few. Oh, well whatever happens happens, Tom and I will work things out or we won't. I don't really give a shit at this point anymore. He's been drinking all day and will probably want to be all lovey dovey and guess who's not going to be? That's right me!! I miss Angel very much. I can't talk to her much do to my fucked up work schedule and trying to get my hubby to notice me and spend time with me and now we have a guest that is going to "need" some of my attention as well. I miss her very much......I even cried a little bit last night cause I wanted so much to talk to her and see her, but knew that I couldn't. Oh well, I'm starting to get used to life's little disappointments. But it doesn't make me miss her any less that's for sure. Well, that's all I can think of to write or bitch about for now. Will write more at another time I'm sure. Talk to every one later. ~~~~Demonique post comment

[09 Jan 2004|11:58am] Well, I haven't written in a few days mainly because I've been sick and just trying to rest up and get ready to go back to work today. At least I hope I still have a job to go back to. LOL Well, I went to the doctor Tuesday and the doctor I seen was such a bitch. She gave me a perscription for some cough syrup with codiene in it and some type of throat logenzes, and said I could go back to work. Well, I decided to go to my work to get my cough medicine and to drop off my notice showing where I went to the doctor and one of the girls I work with, Crystal, said that Mrs. Steinback had been ranting and raving aobut the condition of the store and the fact that I had pulled a no call no show, which is automatice termination. That was not the case, I had called and spoke with Mrs. S personally around two that afternoon. Well, Wednesday morning I still can't talk very well, so I ask Bri to call my work and ask for her. He explains that he's calling because I still cannot talk very well. He explains what all is going on wth me and says that I just asked him to call to make sure that she got my doctor's notice and she says yes she did and asks how I'm doing. He tells her and she must've asked if I would be coming back to work soon, cause Bri says to her that I plan on being there my next scheduled day, today. Now I figure if she was going to fire me, she could've told me right then and there. Bri told her I was sitting right next to him if she needed to speak to me and she just said that if I wanted to come in for a bit and help straighten the store, which wouldn't involve my using my voice, that I could, if not that was ok too and she'd see me today. Now if I get there and this fucking bitch ends up firing me, I hope I can hold my temper. I'm still not feeling well, and I've worked every day since Christmas sick so she needs to give me a fucking break. I can't wait, she is going to be gone for three weeks and it will be like heaven around the store!! Well, enough about that, it will all unfold when I get to work one way or the other. Well, it's time for me to post on the private side of blurty and get ready for work. Talk to everyone later. ~~~~Demonique post comment

[04 Jan 2004|02:15pm] [ mood | blah ] Thought I'd take a minute before I had to go to work and write a little something in my Blurty. I don't have alot of ttime as I over slept. LOL Well it seems that Angel was able to work things out on her own with DM this time. I'm really glad for her! I don't mind helping her out and will always be there if she needs me to help her out, but I think she feels better just because she did it herself. Great job, Angel!! And of course DM probably thinks better of her for it too. I just hope that these two sillies can get past the things that are upsetting them and quit getting upset with one another cause niether of them is really upset or mad at the other, it's all the shit that surrounds each of them on a personal level that causes the problems. I know that DM is not happy where he's at, but I think as long as Angel is still "technically" married that he may feel like he's stuck there. I hope to be able to help him see that that's just not the case. Angel has filed for divorce, but these things take time and during that time there is no reason that they can't be together. She's over Mr. McKain and wants only to be with DM and that's all that should matter. I know that he's (DM) a little insecure about it all, just from the things he's said to Angel, but the only way you can sometimes find out the "truth" of a situation is to "risk" it and go ahead and try it. I will talk to DM soon as he can find time to come over and sit down with me for a few minutes. I know he loves Angel and that she loves him and the only thing I can see keeping them apart is his stubborness and unwillingness to accept the fact that Angel is truly over Mr. McKain and wants to move on with her life and would love nothing more than to have DM share that with her. Barble is constantly riding his ass about something and sometimes when I've been on the phone with him, it's been over such stupid shit that I wanted to reach through the phone and snatch her toothless ass up and smack her around a bit. As far as we know she doesn't know that DM is talking to Angel, but sooner or later I figure she'll put two and two together and then all hell will break loose. The only good thing about that is it may be just what it takes to wake DM up and send him where he belongs......to be with Angel!! And then he has to deal with his selfish ass ex and the fact that she uses his kids against him everytime she can't get what she wants from him. Yeah, DM has been with some real winners. LOL Angel on the other hand is dealing with alot of shit too. Which in turns makes her a little more moody. Not only does she have to deal with Mr. McKain and her cunt-in-law's stupid shit, she now has to deal with her brother and his, whatever she is, having piss poor attitudes. Which the girl her brother is seeing is the only other person that Angel felt she could talk to when I'm not available, like when I'm working or whatever and now she half ass acts like Angel doesn't exist. Which is bullshit as Angel has made herself available for Jen whenever the situation called for it. And then add to that the fact that her (Angel) landlord has idiots that collect the rent for his properties and can't learn to pronounce Angel's name right after being told a hundred times. (her real name of course) and the fact that she has to deal with a child that is sick (hope you feel better soon AS) and another child that is having coping issues. Then you have DM who's New Years resolution was to quit smoking and of course his attitude is for shit because of that and you get raw emotions on both parts. They are going to have to be really strong for one another through all of this if they hope to be together one day. And of course this is all the things I want to say to DM, but I refuse to do it in an email and so must wait until a time when him and I can get together in person. Well, that's about all I really wanted to write about for the moment. Except to say that I did spend a little bit of time with Angel yesterday and it was really nice to hang out with her for a while. She died my hair for me to cover up all the nasty grey and I think it looks really good. Bri liked it and said it brought out my eyes really nicely. Tom liked it but said he that it was a little darker than he liked it. LOL He'll get over it as I like it and may keep it this color for a while. I wish I could describe it to you all, but I don't think I could do it justice. I guess it's like a burgundy borderline plum color. I don't know, but I like it!! LOL Well, it's time for me to IM Angel and tell her hi and let her know that I will talk to her later. Maybe after work even. I hate working on rainy days and it's sure rainy today here!! Talk to everyone later ~~~~Demonique post comment

[30 Dec 2003|11:07pm] [ mood | bitchy ] [ music | Gregory Abbott ~ Shake You Down ] Well tomorrow is my birthday and I'm not looking forward to it at all!!! It seems like noone seems to remember me on my birthday anymore. I have not gotten one fucking birthday card online or otherwise from anyone!! What's up with that? I guess I kinda got a birthday card from SLB and her family in the combination of a Christmas card. Thank God for Angel, I will spend some time with her tomorrow and that will be all I need to have something of a decent birthday! She always manages to cheer me up when I'm feeling down. One of the many reasons she's my best friend!! Tom hasn't given me a birthday card yet, but I figure he will have one here for me by the time I get off work tomorrow night. LOL He likes to do the last minute thing and suprise me when I'm least expecting it. One of many reasons I love him. I've been sick for the past few days and that's not helping my mood any that's for sure. And my wonderful boss tells me that she can't give me my birthday off, but that I should be out of there by 10:30, but fails to mention that I have to be there the next morning at 8:00. Nice fucking way to spend my birthday huh? Working and being sick!! Oh well, at least I have a job, no matter if I have to work on my birthday or not. You know this is the first time in years that I've worked on my birthday or at least had to work the night of and the next morning. I always work the holidays and don't complain about that, but I request my birthday and next year, scheduled or not, lose my job or not, I WILL NOT BE WORKING ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!! And that's final!!! SLB was supposed to stop by and pick up some dupe pictures I had made of our Christmas at her house. Lots of good pics of the kids and such, but she never showed up or called. Typical!! Well she'll get them when she gets them. I'm not going to lose sleep over it that's for sure. Speaking of sleep. I wish that I had the power to take all the things from the one's that I love that make thier lives unhappy. Angel can't get any PEACEFUL sleep for having bad dreams. You know the kind that stick with you forever and make your skin crawl when you think about them. I'm sure it's got a lot to do with the fact that there was talk of her ex coming back to Indy around the first of the year, but still I wish I could make it so she didn't have those kinds of dreams. I love her and I always want to "fix" things that involve those I love. But she is a good person and really is stronger than she gives herself credit for and she's definately a survivor and I want only the best for her. Which some people may have to come to that conclusion the hard way. Which I will get to in a moment. DM can be so funny and cute sometimes. He was talking to Angel online earlier, while I was laying down and resting and I had just woke up when the phone rang and lo and behold it was him. He said that Angel was gonna call me crying and saying he was being mean to her. The first words out of my mouth were: 'what did you do this time?'. LOL He laughed and said nothing that they were just messing around on the net and he made her mad and that she said she was going to call me and even cry and tell me that he hurt her and then I'd have to bitch him out. LOL So he said let me call her on threeway and for me to be quiet and listen to what she says. It was funny, I had just went to the front room to IM her and tell her I was on the phone when DM told me to speak up. It was too funny. We all laughed about it and said a few snide remarks to each other and then he had to go and I called Angel and talked to her for a bit. It was really good to hear her laughing and cutting up. She does it so rarely anymore. I love her to death and it just makes me feel really good to hear her that way!! I guess that's what loving someone is all about, wanting to see them happy in life. Btw, before I let DM call her on threeway I asked him point blank if he intended to get together with her or if he had just told her and Kristin what he thought they wanted or needed to hear. He said that he does want to be with her, but he just couldn't put a time frame on it. And Angel and I both had told him we didn't expect him to do that, so therefore we can't press the issue. I just hope he don't wait too long and miss out on the chance to be with the woman he really loves and wants to be with. I just know they would be so good together and I want so much for them to get together. I hear it in DM's voice when I talk to him how much he loves her. He always sounds so happy and if I do happen to mention Barble he gets really quiet and acts like I've offended him or something. I just do it to see how he reacts. And if there's even a hint that Angel is upset or mad at him about something he calls me to try to figure out what to do next. And I usually end up talking to both of them and they end up working things out. LOL Now for those that are going to learn the hard way that I have only Angel's best interest at heart and will do everything humanly possible and within my power to to help her find happiness in her. Brandy is first and foremost on that list. She's a lying, nasty assed, cunt and I hope as God is my witness that I never come face to face with her. I really feel like she was trying to start trouble between Angel and I today and that just fucking pissed me off to no end!! I'm so tired of people trying to come between Angel and I that I'm ready to beat the shit out of the next person who even remotely looks like they might try it!! She had the nerve to insinuate that I had written the email from Mr. McKain to Angel and her "boyfriend". There's so many things wrong with that, I don't know where to begin. Does she really think I'd do something that fucking stupid? No, I don't want to see Angel and Mr. McKain back together, but I stand by my previous statement of that if by some act of demonic possession that would happen, Angel would still be my best friend and I would learn to tolerate Mr. McKain. And furthermore I don't even know the man's password to get into his email account and send ANYONE a fucking email. I know Angel doesn't think that I would, but it's the principle behind it. And on top of that someone tried to get into her (Angel's) email account today. Some fucked up shit going on there for sure. Then Brandy told Angel that I had threatened her when I was talking to her on Yahoo! Messenger. With Angel's help to remeber that I had talked to Brandy on my other name, I found the archived messages and sent them to Angel and we both read them and couldn't find where it was that I had threatened this stupid fucking cunt. Why is she so worried about anyway? We ARE many miles apart. Although Greyhound runs special fares all the time and Angel does know where she's at in her little hick world. See what this stupid whore fails to realize is that I send Angel a copy of EVERY email I send to Brandy, DM, and Mr. Fucking McKain and every email I get from them. Now, DM and I talk more on the phone, but both him and Angel know that I tell Angel everything him and I talk about with the exception of stupid shit like him buying this car that Bri has. And half the time I even talk to her about that. Now, as for Brandy I have threatened her, in emails and meant every word I said. But if she can't take an ass whipping that's her bad. She shouldn't have tried to mind fuck my best friend or fucked my best friend's husband. I once thought that maybe her and him weren't, but she acts too obssessive about him. Constantly throwing him up in Angel's face and gets really defensive about not talking to him or seeing him or whatever else involves him. I don't know, maybe it's just my suspicious nature, but I don't really think that's the case this time. Maybe they're not fucking now, but I believe they were at one time. She was just someone for him to pass the time with. And the only people they are fooling with their stupid childish bullshit is themselves. They both insist on this being all about Angel, but in all my emails I've stressed the fact that the one hurting most is his daughter, who once loved her father with every ounce of her heart and is finding out the hard way that sometimes daddy's just can't love back the same way we love them. And that's the saddest thing I've ever seen in my life and I'm 39 years old tomorrow and have seen a lot of heartache and pain in the eyes of many different people for many different reasons, but there is nothing sadder than a child who loves their parent (mother or father) and feels that love isn't returned for whatever reason. And it takes a really cold and heartless fucking person to just ignore it and do nothing to help that child come to terms with the reality of the situation. And I'm sorry but Mr. McKain has put himself in that catergory in my eyes. No matter what problems he and Angel are having, he needs to take the time to reassure his daughter that he loves her and she's not the reason he doesn't want to be in the same home as she is. Well, I guess I've bored everyone to tears with my bitching and whinning so I will end this tirade here. I will talk to everyone later. Hope you all have a safe and Happy New Year!!!!!!! ~~~~~Demonique 1 comment|post comment

[28 Dec 2003|01:57am] [ mood | pissed off ] Well, I've come to the conclusion that sometimes what is ok for some people is not ok for others. For example, I get home from work and I call Angel in regards to an email she got from Mr. McKain and we talked for all of maybe 45 minutes before Bri reminds me that he still needs to call KC back. So, I let Angel go so that he can have the phone. Now mind you I haven't been spending hours on the phone with Angel or anyone else for that matter. I tell Bri how I feel as he's been on the phone non-stop with this bitch for the past four days. He says that he wanted to call her back before it got really late. Ok, fine, but now it's 1:37 in the fucking morning and it sure don't seem like he will be getting off the phone anytime soon. I swear as God is my witness, I wish he'd just fucking move out to Philly to be with the trifling little ho!!! I love him to death, but it pisses me off that my time is monitored, and supposedly my rent includes the phone. He throws it in my face that at least I can talk to Angel online, but in return I pointed out that sometimes things are not as easy to talk about online as they are on the phone. Maybe I should start inviting Angel over for late night visits and then when he says something about her being over here all the time I will look him in his face and tell him as we can't talk on the phone, we figured this would be better for his convenience. I hate to say it but I wish that Tom and I had taken that apartment above ZL and MT now. I bet I could use the phone whenever I wanted to then and couldn't nobody say shit to me about it. I just couldn't handle MT coming up and "visiting" me all the time. I'd end up killing her sooner or later and then we would having the problem of her not respecting my need to spend time with Tom or just time alone, and then it would lead to major problems, worse than anything that has happened with us living with Bri. I realize that we'd have our own place, but MT has a habit of making your place, her place and that wouldn't work at all. I'm a very private person for the most part and sometimes people like MT just don't get the hint that I'm not being a bitch, I just want and need time to myself or to spend with my hubby. Angel understands this and has no problems with it, that's one of the reasons she's my best friend!!!!!! Anyway it just pisses me off that I can't use the phone for as long as I want to when I want to. It's just pure fucking bullshit!!!!! I used to talk to Angel for hours and hours and tie up the phone, but I sure as hell don't do it anymore. Hell, I don't feel like sittiing at the computer for long periods of times either. I'm also not spending my "holiday" time talking to some backstabbing little cunt either!!! He's never said he loves her when they hang up from talking and she never tells him that either from what he's said, and they talk about absolutely nothing!!! It's like listening to Mary talk to someone. Well, Angel if you read this I will IM your or send you smoke signals some time tomorrow. I was just so irked I had to write it down somewhere about how I was feeling so as to avoid a big ass fucking argument with Bri. I guess I'm done bitching about THAT for the moment. I'm so fucking pissed off at Mr. McKain. He sent an email to Angel saying it was intended for her "boyfriend" and basically threatens DM. Not in a literal sense, just that if he (DM) thinks that him and Angel will last it won't cause it never has. And then asks him if he likes fucking his (Mr. McKain) wife? Now you know the only one that has a right to ask anyone if they like fucking someone's spouse is Angel! I will probably end up sending an email to Mr. McKain and Brandy as they really piss me off with this whole thing of them trying to mind fuck Angel and that's all they are trying to do. If it wasn't for KS, I'm pretty sure Angel would just block them both and be done with them forever!!! I know she's tired of the bullshit and just wants them to leave her alone and let her get on with her life, which doesn't include either of them losers!!! I advised her against even mentioning it to DM as I'm sure that his concerns lie with the fact that Mr. McKain will at some point in time try to come back to Indy and find and Angel and then all hell will break loose. I will back Angel in whatever happens and I hope that he never finds out where she is. KS and AS deserve a better father in their lives as this one has obviously given up any chance of seeing them as he never calls or writes them or anything. He can't take five minutes to send KS an email on her birthday or Christmas but he sure can take five minutes to send an email to DM telling him he pretty much has no chance in hell of being with Angel for any extended amount of time. What the fuck is up with that?? I think thats what I'm going to write to him in my email. What a fucking prick!!! Well, I guess I should end this here as it is turning out to be nothing but a bitch session and I would rather spend my time with my hubby and getting ready to go to bed. I will talk to everyone later. ~~~~Demonique 1 comment|post comment

[24 Dec 2003|11:33pm] [ mood | sleepy ] Well, I hope everyone is having a safe and wonderful holiday. Yesterday was my hubby's birthday and after hours of struggling to get some time together with noone but us two around, we finally managed to do so. He really liked all of his gifts, even the ones he didn't get til today. I got him a couple of video games. Star Wars Rogue Squadron II for the GameCube and Aggressive Inline for the X-box. I also got him a collector's edition of a battle scene from the Lord of the Rings. Angel got him a gift card from one of the local gaming shops, which he got himself some MTG cards and Hero Clix. SLB and the kids got him a Corvette Model to put together. I don't know what my mom or his family got him yet. They will all be here some time tomorrow and then around 7:10 or so we are going to go see the Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. As for my birthday, which isn't quite here yet, Dec. 31st, I've gotten quite a few things from my hubby so far. a couple of Scooby Doo games, a puzzle, some Lord of the Rings figures. SLB and the kids got me some candles and holders that are really pretty and they are blue of course. My son got me a camera and the Sinbad movie on DVD. Which brings me up to date on my Brad Pitt movies. I have some things coming from my mom and the in-laws tomorrow as well and Angel is getting me something later on next week. I think she's decided to get me some Tommy Girl perfume, which I really like, but if she decides on something else, that will be cool. Anything she gives me will be very special to me. She's a really truly wonderful friend. She even helped me and Tom out a little bit financially yesterday, which I hated taking as she has children to take care of, but it was really nice of her to help us out and as I read in her Blurty she was glad to be able to give something in return for all the times I've helped her out. We don't keep score of who helps who and how much or often, but it's always nice when you can give a little something back to those who help you out. I am sooooooooooo tired!! Worked until 7:30 tonight then had a big dinner over at SLB's and had a blast playing with the kids and such. I was starving by the time I got there and really pigged out. LOL I got a comemorative mug from work It's a really nice mug. Of course I needed another coffee cup like I needed another hole in my head, but it marks the opening of our 4,000th store in Van Nuys, CA. What sucks about work is I have to work on my birthday til 10:30 and then turn around and open the next day. So no party time for me on my birthday. :( Oh well, I need the job and there's always next year. What really sucks is that I can't even fake being sick to get out of working cause it's pay day and it would be really strange for me to show up to get my paycheck and then call in sick. LOL Well that's all I have to yak about for now, as I'm tired and am really wanting to get ready to hit the hay as I have a busy day tomorrow. No rest for the weary or the wicked. Hope everyone is having a nice holiday and is able to spend it with their families and friends. Talk to everyone later~~~~~Demonique post comment

[19 Dec 2003|07:29pm] [ mood | sad ] Well, today was one of the saddest days of my life. Well not just mine, but Bri's as well. Our cat, Bilbo died today. Bri was at work and I had to call him and let him know that Bilbo had taken a turn for the worse and he told me to do whatever was necessary, so I called the vet and they said to try to get him there, but he didn't make it. He died enroute and my heart broke into a million little pieces. Then of course I had to tell Bri that Bilbo didn't make it and it's been a really sad and dreary day all the way up to and including the weather. We're thinking of trying to get Bilbo a burial place at the Pet Heaven Cemetary here in town. They actually cremate him and place him in an urn, it's not that expensive and we will probably end up going that route as well as placing a memorial tribute to him on ILoveMyPet.com. All the proceeds from the site go to the United States and Canadian Humane Societies. Just gotta wait til we can scan the pics of him. On a somewhat happier note, Angel told Brandy and Mr. McKain to pretty much fuck off. It would be a happier note, if I were feeling happy. :( I'm glad she finally told the stupid fucking cunt to go fuck herself!! I was hoping she would decide not to talk to at least Brandy anymore. I'm really disappointed in Mr. McKain and the fact that he can't even take five minutes to call his daughter and wish her a happy birthday or a Merry Christmas. How much more does he plan to make her suffer??? Well, my mom and my son stopped by for a few minutes tonight. My mom's birthday was Tuesday and she just now was able to stop by to pick up her presents. I tried really hard to not let me emotions over Bilbo get in the way. They didn't stay too long as my mom don't like to drive after dark and it's cold and snowy on top of that. Angel also came by and gave Tom a 20.00 gift card for his birthday, which he was really happy to have. He likes video games and I'm sure that's what he will use it for. She is really sweet to have done something like that for him!! We gave Angel her presents as well, I think she liked them all very much. She seemed pleased with what we had chosen for her. Well, I really don't feel like writing anymore. I will talk to everyone later. ~~~~~Demonique 1 comment|post comment

[16 Dec 2003|01:38pm] [ mood | grumpy ] Well it's about damn time you can actually get on to Blurty. LOL I've come to the conclusion that some people just understand what it means with other people work a late shift and therefore need to sleep in on a day to day basis. Fucking Kym called this morning at 7:30 and of course the only person in the house she managed to wake up was me!! I finally managed to fall asleep again probably around 9:00 and then Bri woke me up airing up the tire on the car, which happens to be parked right outside my window. Needless to say I didn't get much sleep and have to work til Midnight plus tonight then open tomorrow. So, therefore my mood is not of the greatest either. And to top it off I'm stuck in the cosmetics department tonight which will be boring as fucking hell. I will be praying for this night to hurry and get over, that's for sure. I would've gotten more sleep, but Tom committed us to watching a movie that Bri has been trying to get us to watch for a while now, but we didn't get to start it until 1:15 a.m. cause we had company til around 12-12:30 and didn't get into bed until 3:00 this morning. Oh well, I'm a tough old bird and will survive I always do!! I just hate not getting the amount of sleep that I feel I need to function without having a bad attitude all day. It's not like Bri was going to be up at 7:30 this morning and she fucking knew this. If not she's even more stupid than I credit her with. At least Angel is taking me to work LOL I sure as hell am glad that I don't have to walk even to the bus stop. Well tomorrow is my mom's birthday, but I have to work, so I will just have her come by and get her card and presents on Friday as that is my next day off. I'm sure she will be ok about it. She's always saying that birthday's aren't a big deal anymore when you reach her age. Well, she's the next one in line on the birthday train. LOL Then we have Doughboy, but we will most likely just send him a card. His birthday is Friday. I will probably send him and ecard. Then the next one is KS, Angel's daughter. Which I will be picking up her card and gift either tomorrow or Friday. Then next on the list of course is my hubby. I figure I will get him a video game for the Gamecube and then when we get our taxes back we are going to get new rings and I want to get him a new and better electric razor. I've also come to the conclusion in the past few days that some people are just not real or true friends even if they claim they are. I have nothing personal against Angel's friend Jen, but I really honestly believe she is jealous over Angel and my friendship. It's another MT situation. Who is also jealous over Angel and my friendship even though they both would deny it. But it's cool, Angel and I just let them think they are our best friends to keep down the drama, but we BOTH know who the truest friend is we have. And that's each other. Jen and MT are just going to have to get over themselves. I have tried really hard to get DM and Angel together, but for purely unselfish reasons and those being that I think they would be good together and good for one another. I know that Angel doesn't want to end up back with Mr. McKain, but I really worry that if her and DM don't get together soon, that may not be an option. She is only capable of loving those two men with all her being and no matter how much I'd like to see her even move on with someone else if need be, I know that she only wants to be with DM and if not, then she will end up back together with Mr. McKain, after all she has a heart and he will find a way to use that against her if nothing else. She is such a caring and loving person and her and her ex have a bond that noone can ever break and I'm beginning to wonder if DM will be able to accept and handle that. He seems to be so obssessed with the idea that she will want to take Mr. McKain back, although he hasn't voiced this to me, he has evidently voiced it to Jen. He told me the other night that he believed Angel and I about her not wanting to take Mr. McKain back, but you never really know what a person is thinking do you? He also told me that he hadn't told Jen that he didn't see a future for him and Angel. And I have to say that I believe him. DM knows that I don't hide things and I don't mix words. He also knows that if he needs to tell Angel something but isn't sure how to go about it, he can come to me and I will relay the message. I asked him point blank about the night he went over to Angel's and told both her and KS that he wasn't in their lives right now but he would be one day. He said that was true and I asked him if he really meant it or was he buzzed enough that it was the buzz talking. He said no, he said it cause he meant it. I also asked him if he had said that if Mr. McKain showed up at her door if he would tell him to leave and he said yes and that he still would. To me that sounds legit, like someone who wants to be with Angel, but for some fucked up reason that only DM can understand, he remains in a relationship that he's obviously not happy being in. I will figure out a way to get to the bottom of it and then I will put it all on the table. I mean, fuck, Angel has spent half her life with and waiting for one man, does DM think she's really going to spend the rest of her life waiting on another? I don't think so, she will eventually choose to move on and then he will lose the opportunity to be the one person he's so much as admitted to her face that he loves. Now what the hell could possibly be so bad, that he'd risk that to stay with someone he's claimed for the past two years or longer that he doesn't love? Oh, well, I will figure it out eventually and if he's lucky it won't be too late for him and Angel to try to work things out and be together like I feel they both want to be. Well, that's the end of this session. I have to get ready for work and spend some time with my hubby before we both are out the door. Talk to everyone later. ~~~~Demonique* 2 comments|post comment

[11 Dec 2003|03:40pm] [ mood | good ] Well, I don't get to update as often as I used to because of my work schedule and trying to spend what precious few moments I have with hubby. But thought I'd jot some things down while I'm waiting on Bri's mom to get here. Well, it looks like I might have to light a fire under DM's ass again!! I want so much for him and Angel to get together cause I think it would be great for both of them. But alot of crap has happened over the past couple of days that I, like Angel, am worried that DM might be thinking she wants to get back together with Mr. McKain. That's not true! Of course she loves and misses her ex, I mean who wouldn't after 14 years together, but she's also not stupd and knows that taking him back could well cause he alot of difficulties and she's worked so hard to get where she is that I couldn't stand to see her lose it all. I know she will always have a bond with Mr. McKain because of her children and will worry about him and how he's doing, but that doesn't mean she can't move on and live a happy life with DM. All that's really left to do is convince him (DM) that he's what she really wants and has no intentions of taking Mr. McKain back. And that's where I come in.........as soon as I have a moment free to do so, I will be calling him (DM) and setting things straight!! And he better listen or I just might have to come to his house in person and pull him out of there and take him somewhere we can talk. I have his address now as I sent him and the Smelly Snatch a Christmas card, so I can make a way to go see him in person if he won't listen over the phone!! And damnit I will do just that!! I love Angel with all my heart and if there is one person in my lifetime that I've met that deserves happiness it's her!! And I'm damned and determined to help her get that!! My job is going nicely. I really like it. I hate when they put me in cosmetics as I don't do make up on a personal level and feel really stupid when someone has a question about something. Also it's really boring. I love the photo lab though. If they'd put me there all the time, I'd be so happy!!! Tonight I will be on main register, but that's not boring at least. LOL Tom will be meeting me after work tomorrow and we're going to go eat and then spend some quality time together as he works Sat and I'm off and I work tomorrow and he's off. That's when I will probably try to talk to DM, on Saturday while Tom is working so as not to interefere with us having time together. I know that the past couple of days he (Tom) has probably felt alittle bit ignored, but I really needed to be there for Angel and he understands that and never complains. I even learned to play pool online so that he and I could spend a few minutes before work doing something he likes. I'm not really good at it, but I'm not really bad either and it makes him happy that we have something we can share whether I'm on the phone or not. And that's all that counts!! We got a few things left to do for Christmas. We don't buy adults gifts, except Angel, cause to us it's just another day, but kids are really into the whole Christmas thing. I told him today that we are only doing KS's b'day at the moment and in January we will do the Christmas thing as she is grounded for being naughty. LOL That's what Santa would say right? LOL We are giving her and AS a gift certificate for Target. I told him that when it comes to AS that I like the idea of a gift certificate so that if Angel needs diapers or something she has that to fall back on and besides I'm sure Angel will get something else as well. I love those kids and I will do what I can to help them have a decent Christmas and KS to have a decent b'day. Well, that's all I have time for right now as it's almost time for my ride to get here and me to start my work "day". I will update more later on. Talk to everyone later~~~~Demonique 4 comments|post comment

[08 Dec 2003|11:58am] [ mood | aggravated ] You know I'm really tired of animals and people! Bri has a cat that he kinda inherited from SM who used to own the trailer we live in and when he moved out he couldn't take this cat with him. Well, it's part siamese and I'm highly allergic to siamese because of the oil they secrete and she constantly gets up on my desk, and she sheds so bad that the first thing I have to deal with in the mornings and when I get home from work is an allergy attack. And then this morning she's got everything on my desk just knocked all over the place. One speaker on the floor, my cam knocked over on it's side, ashtray dumped in the floor and my other speaker knocked lopsided. It was the last straw with this fucking cat. If the girl around the way don't come get her soon, she won't be here for her to come get!! I know that probably sounds petty to anyone who might chance to read this, but that's just me. I can't stand to have my stuff disrespected by anyone or anything. Bri and I keep fighting over MY car as well. He works clear across town and there are no busses that run out there and makes the most money of anyone in the house. I work, 3 minutes by car, from home. I have a bad knee and it's really hard on me to walk to the bus stop or to work especially when it's cold out. Well, I had decided that if my knee and lower back were hurting too much today, I'd just call in sick. Now he's planning on coming all the way across town to take me to work on his lunch break, which will mean he won't get time to eat and then he will be sick. He's supposed to call at 2:30, I think I will just tell him that I made arrangements and got a ride to work that way he won't come all the way over here. He won't be able to know the difference over the phone. He said lastnight that he could just get a ride with his mom and she could bring him home, but how is that possible when he gets up at 11:05 and has to be to work at 11:30 and she has to come all the way across town to pick him up as well. What's the point, someone, somewhere is going to have to drive across town to accomodate me and I'm not going through the hassle. I will just walk really slowly to the bus stop and make the best of it. Angel's car is down and out for the count now. We just can't get it fixed because of finances and God knows if I had the money I'd be the first one in line to help her out. As she is always there for me. Speaking of Angel she had a nice suprise a couple of nights ago. DM came by and they talked for a few minutes and he finally admitted to her that he loves her and wants to be with her. Then he gave her a hickey. That's too funny. I haven't seen her with a hickey before. At least not that I remember. LOL Her yahoo says she's pissed off, as soon as I get ready for work I will have to call her and see what's up. I hope it's not something with Mr. McKain or Brandy again. Those two people really just need to leave her alone and let her get on wth her life. I think Mr. McKain is trying to weasel his way into getting to come home and I hope that Angel tells him to go get fucked. He's hurt her and her children enough to last a lifetime and I think she'd be better off waiting for DM to be able to be with her. He surely makes her and KS really happy whenever he's around and he doesn't seem to be a cause of stress for Angel, which is something she really don't need anymore of that's for sure. Well, I gotta get ready for work. I will talk to everyone later. ~~~~Demonique 2 comments|post comment

[05 Dec 2003|11:13am] [ mood | discontent ] Well, I finally have a day off!! Which is really great except that I'm off tomorrow and when I go back on Sunday I work straight through til next Saturday. But hey at least I'm no longer among the unemployed. LOL That's what I tell myself everytime I feel so tired I don't think I can go on another day. I don't get to spend as much time with Tom as I would like to now, but that's ok cause it makes the time we can spend together that much more precious! Of course on the days he works early that time is even less. But we will be ok, we always are. I love him and he loves me and we always have been ones to enjoy time with each other and still be able to spend time apart. We have our moments, but we wouldn't be a couple if we didn't. He works today and then after he gets off work we are going to SB's for Lil' Cris' birthday party. I talked to her this morning and she said that if we waited til Tom got off work that would be ok. She even offered to come pick us up if Bri couldn't make it over too. So that's cool. I picked up Cris a camera from my work lastnight. All he's been talking about is how he wants a camera, I figure this one will get him by til I can start getting a paycheck coming in on a regular basis and get a better one. Tom picked him up some hotwheels and will get him a photo album to keep his pics in today from his work. He's not having a big birthday this year. :( As everyone is so strapped for cash, but at least this way he will still have one. And he will still get some things he's really wanting as SB got him a "furry" robe like hers and Taz'. They are strapped for cash because they are trying to buy a house and SB's work screwed her out of two weeks pay, one being vacation and they just got caught up on the things they were behind on. Unfortunately it looks as though none of the kids will have a Christmas this year. As adults most of us don't really care one way or the other, but for kids it's a really big deal and they always remember those times more than any other. Well, I'm going to hate work next week! Bri's van is out of commission and we can't afford for him to lose his job as it's the highest paying one in the house, and as no busses run to where he works, I get the pleasure of using public transportation again! I could walk but it's going to be cold as hell just to walk from home to the bus stop and I will probably freeze my ass off most of the time and be more tired after work than I usually am. But I gotta do what I gotta do, I need this job and whatever it takes, I gotta do. Well, it's official, Bigman is a loser and low life and will NEVER have my respect EVER again and that low life cunt of a sister-in-law of his, Brandy, best hope she never comes face to face with me. She talked to Angel on yahoo! yesterday morning and said a lot of things that not only pissed of Angel but really made me want to drive to Alabama and strangle her stupid ass!! She told Angel that she (Angel) never tells her kids she loves them and is always using them against Bigman. Which is total bullshit. KS is old enough to decide how she feels for herself and Angel has told her many times that she can write her dad whenever she wants and has tried to explain to KS that she's not the reason her dad walked out of their lives. But it's really hard for a child to accept that it's not thier fault. Angel doesn't bad mouth him in front of KS and even told her she doesn't HAVE to hate him. But KS, has her own feelings and reasons for the way she feels and the only people that can change the way she feels about her father and her Aunt is her and them. What do they expect? KS loved her father and then he won't call or write her an email, and her heart is broken. That's what she's reacting to, a broken heart and she also knows how much her mother is hurting and that affects the way she feels and thinks as well. And unfortunately lastnight Bigman talked to Angel on Yahoo! and KS walked in just when Bigman had typed and told Angel that he wasn't coming home and didn't want to come home. KS saw it, stormed out of the room, and said she hated her daddy. Now, how in the world is Angel supposed to help her deal with this. I know that Angel still loved/loves Bigman and that all though she got the closure she needed to know that she has to move on, it still hurt like hell and now both her and her children are forced to try to move on and live a life without her husband and their father. I hope that she will be able to struggle through all this ok. I know it will take some time and I wouldn't blame her one bit if she just took some time to be with just herself and her children. I know that's what I would do. KS has a birthday the 21st and then of course Christmas is right after nice present from her father huh? What a fucking asshole!! I'm so angry about all of this I don't even know how to express myself. I can only imagine what Angel and KS is going through. And to top it off, everyone else seems to think that because AS has CP that none of this affects her, but it does. She knows that her father is not around, she may not understand what's going on, but she knows he's not there. I hope that Bigman and Brandy have the worst Christmas of their lives and that they reap all the sorrow they've given Angel and her children a hundred thousand times over. Well, that's it for now. I've got alot to do before the b'day thing tonight. And I'd like to be able to enjoy at least one of my days off without having housework to worry about. The weather is nasty, but there are other things I'd like to do that I couldn't do because I was working so much. Talk to you all later ~~~~Demonique post comment

[30 Nov 2003|12:30pm] [ mood | accomplished ] I know it's been awhile scince I last updated, but have been very busy. After all the hassels with getting my drug screen done, I finally got the job at Walgreens and have worked everyday scince the day after Thanksgiving. I think it's going to be a good job, wish I was making more money, but hey good things come to those who wait and are patient. I will be eligible for benefits in 90 days and from what some of my co workers have told me, they are decent benefits. Guess I'll know then. Tom has been really understanding about how I feel being on my feet all the time after so long of having sit down jobs. Yesterday when I got home he had bought me an electric heating and foot massager. It was really nice as when I got home he sat me down took off my shoes and put my feet to soak. See, he can be so sweet, just sometimes he really aggravates me. Well, I've decided until I can get things worked out where I can get my license, I'm going to have to chance driving myself to work starting Wednesday. I can't be sitting out there in the cold waiting for a bus in the thin ass dress pants we have to wear to work. I'd be a frozen popsicle before I got there. Of couse when it snows there will be no choice. I don't drive in the snow. No matter how close it is. On weekends Bri will take me and pick me up, but I can't do the walking thing in this weather. If I was summer I'd just walk as it would help me to lose weight. So, Tuesday, my day off I will cleaning my car out and getting it ready to drive. Wish me luck in that I don't get caught or stopped for some stupid reason. MT is taking me to work tomorrow and Bri will pick me up, so tomorrow is covered as I have to get up early to go to the doctor. Yay me!! I hate having to get up so early. I just hope I get done in time to come home and get a nap before work as I close tonight and again tomorrow night and with getting up early I won't get much sleep. Tom is going to record charmed for me tonight so I don't miss it and have to wait a week to see it. Angel seems to be doing ok. I miss hanging out with her and talking to her, but with me getting used to my job it's not a luxury I have right now. That will change as soon as I get used to my job cause I will be able to get online more often after work. Right now all I want to do when I get home is check my emails, relax, eat, and go to bed. LOL I just wish I could see her more often. But her car is down and I don't have license to be driving all of the places I'd like to go. Which will also change asap. If I had the money I'd just fix her car to be honest. I know she needs it to get Alyssa to her appointments and such and wish I was rich cause I'd help her as much as I could. I do anyway, but I wish I could do more. I also wish that DM would just come to grips with how he feels about her as he's not fooling anyonre but himself when it comes to not admitting his feelings. Well, that's all I can think of to write about for now. Bri is playing a game on hiis computer and it's so loud it's starting to give me a headache as my computer is in the same room and one of his speakers is right in my ears. Besides I have to eat, get a shower, then get dressed and ready for work. Talk to you all later. ~~~~Demonique 3 comments|post comment

[27 Nov 2003|11:17pm] [ mood | awake ] Well, I made it through Thanksgiving without too much fuss. It wasn't so bad spending with SB and her family, but I missed Tom very much. And I did spend some time with my mom and my son. Tom called around 8:00 but I wasn't home yet and he left a message saying he was just checking to see how I was doing. What does he think? As much as I would've liked to talk to him before I went to bed, I just couldn't bring myself to call him back. Selfish? Probably. But I was just too tired and a little bit heartbroken to even care. I went to bed as soon as I got all the goodies put up that my mom and SB sent home with me and here I sit as I couldn't sleep. I think in part it's because Tom isn't home and in part it's the anxiety of starting a new job tomorrow. Which I will try to get on here and update and let everyone know how it goes, but I'm sure I will be tired and probably a little achy. I will probably spend the first hour after I get home in the shower running hot water down my back and legs. LOL I will have to take a bus home as Angel's car isn't running any better even with the new fuel filter on it, so I will have to walk a good little distance from the bus stop home and that will make me even more tired. I'm already looking forward to 3:00. LOL I was going to call her tonight to see how she was doing having to deal with the holiday without her hubby yet again, but I was really tired til I tried to go to sleep for an hour and half. I will just call her after work tomorrow. Not like I need to spend time with my hubby or anything as I'm obviously not important enough for him to even consider staying home with me today. Oh well, whatever, I WILL get over it as I always do. Bri had a nice time with his mom, grandma, and Aunt. He brought home quite a bit of goodies as well. If Tom brings some home we will have to put something in the freezer for safe keeping. I hope one of them brought home some turkey (white meat), as I didn't even have turkey this year as of right now. Not to say that I'm not stuffed like one at the moment, but that's not the same. LOL Lots of people sent me online e-cards wishing Tom and I both a Happy Thanksgiving. So, I thought about what I really had to be thankful for and this is what I came up with: (no particuliar order) 1. Having found a job! 2. My best friend Angel! 3. Good friends that include me in their holiday plans. 4. The fact that even though my computer's a POS, it still lets me communicate with others when I need or want to. Including Blurty. 5. My son. 6. My hubby....even when he upsets me. 7. Another day of life......gotta be a reason I'm here. 8. No more monthlies!! LOL 9. All of my friends....even those I didn't manage to see or hear from today. 10. The fact that @ age 82, my mom was still here to spend some time with me on Thanksgiving. Well, that's my top ten list.....there are others, but if I were to list everything I felt I should give thanks for I would never get to sleep. Well, that's it for now, I've finally gotten myself tired enough to try to get some sleep. I hope everyone had a safe and happy Thanksgiving. Talk to everyone later~~~~Demonique post comment

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