| SHIT |
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| 01:11am 20/03/2004 |
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mood:  angry
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Stephanie is not coming back... I really don't know why I'm here toight (aside from Tess). Patrick is really not a fan of me. Anthony went down to florida with Fred to see Kelly. It was supposed to be Anthony and I originally, but he seemed to forget that I wanted to go too. I'm not a fan of Fred, so I didn't push it. Why the fuck am I here! People are going to be roleplaying tonight and I'm not playing. I'm tired and pissed. i'm tired of baltimore. I'm tired of seeing the same things, same street signs, same fire hydrants, same fucking smell that hangs in the air here. I'm tired of hearing the same damn fucking sounds, I'm fucking pissed. Shit is pushing me to the edge and my friends are disappearing. So what the fuck is the point of spending my weekends here, aside from hanging out with Tess? I can do that whenever I feel. Highlight of my day/week/life? Seeing Starsky and Hutch... I do like Ben Stiller (although I hate Owen Wilson and his fucking nose) and I love the 70s. I'm so annoyed at how pissed I am... which pisses me off even more! I don't want to be here. Stephanie is not fucking coming back! I'm tired of loosing people. I guess the Stephanie and Patrick are done and over. It's so depressing. I always looked up to their relationship. I've always wanted something like they had, and if they can't make it work, why the fuck should I even bother anymore. I miss Stephanie, I have not seen her in 6 days! FUCK! I'm going to shut up. I'm done, I'm going to try to sleep... like that's going to happen. |
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fly me to the moon |
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| Sleep |
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| 04:42am 15/03/2004 |
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mood:  blank music: silence!
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I've been doing some heavy thinking... I have come to the conclusion than thinking sucks. It makes my head hurt and never makes me feel better. I need to stop being a thinking man and be more of a moron, maybe more people will like me then. Fuck who am I kidding? I hate people, I dont want them to like me! I am an elitist whore and I love it. I do howeve want the world to revolve around me for one day... that would be absurdly cool, and very much highschool like. Dear heavens my senior year... I stopped giving a shit and everyone hung of my p33n. It was absurd! OMGRAYISSOCOOLCAUSEHEDOESNOTGIVEASHIT! the reply was always" fuck straight off". Speaking of fucking straight off, I need to call Dunn, see if she wants to hangout over spring break. On that topic, my younger brother is also back on spring beak, I've got to go pick him up from mom's and hangout with him too. AHH HELL! That means dealing with the old hag! Don't get me wrong, I love her... I.. .bah never mind. I need a coke right now! Yes I'm fucking rambling my ass off at 4:30smth in the morning. Tanya call me! I miss talking on the phone!
I've got a drug test for work to take soon (pry tommorow), which should be no problem, I've been clean for almost 2 years now, funny though, Dann invited me to go out "roller skating". I looke at him and went "d00d I'm clean as a whistle! Hell I don't even smoke cigarettes anymore!"
In other news I've been owning Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes! Ranked number one in the world bitch! Top 01:19:15!
I need sleep, but i'll keep rambling. One of my friends kept having night terrors last night. Too bad, my bed is comfy and you are guaranteed good sleep. No night terrors no nothing... My bed is a Slut! It will sleep with anyone, but then again you all knew that. I feel like leaving baltimore for a while, but I don't have the funds... Is it wrong that I feel like making out right now?
NBZ, you need to send me cubasesx again. I lost everthing in the reinstall.
And off I go to think some more... and I need to go wash that pillow that smells like your hair... I miss you... Hey! I'll get Kelly to call me right now! |
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fly me to the moon |
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| So I was at teh m4ll |
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| 07:52pm 27/02/2004 |
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mood:  calm music: Alice Deejay - Better off alone
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So I spent two nights in a row with Dunn and Nancy. I feel so much better now. I got to clear my head and deal with my issues... Thanks Dunn. We buckled down and watched Clerks on Wednesday night and Trainspotting on Thursday night. All said and done, I’m feeling good. I might be getting paid good soon too. So yeah... Dun and I got into a fight though... well more like I got into a fight with Dunn. See Dunn and Nancy work at a restaurant that tips good... Today was going fine and dandy, until I got to the VGA. For those of you who don’t know, the VGA is The Video Gaming Association. I usually head up there with John every Friday. We get our soul calibur II on among other games they have tournaments at. Anyways, they have message boards online. I visited and it was utter chaos. I suggested a couple of things here and there and this n00b jumps on my case. I’m all like dude netiquette, and he was all like Demios is a moron. Everyone on the forums agreed with me. He kept shitting on my site and my photoshop skills despite the fact that he was horrible at photoshop and webdev. Anyways I went into VGA today and I was talking to one of the employees about the stupidity of the forums. I went off on a tangent about how I really didn’t feel like having to deal with chunky, pimple-popping, snot-nosed kids with 2” thick glasses, work at the mall and live at home in their mothers basement. While telling the employee -who was agreeing with me- some fat loser swung his chair around, wheezed and here’s where I start to quote.
PcGameGod: What’s you nick Demios: Demios... why? PcGameGod: You are not Demios Demios: Yes I am why? PcGameGod: All I’m saying is you need to watch you mouth online Demios: What? Who the fuck are you? PcGameGod: I’m PcGameGod, and you need to watch yourself. *I squint Demios: whoa there buddy If you have a problem with me just say so *fatman wheezes and jumps up, and walks up. *Demios blinks. PcGameGod: As a matter of fact I do! Demios: Well that’s nice, I’m not too fond of you either so yeah, I guess I have a problem with you too. *fatman points at me PcGameGod: You are a fucking moron and you need to shut the fuck up and leave. *looking perplexed I take a step back Demios: What!? I’ll tell you what needs to be done! You need to sit your twinkie munching ho-ho guzzling ass back in that a go back to playing that stupid game of you’re playing *furious fatman takes a step up PcGameGod: We can settle this right now. *I take a step up Demios: Sure we can, I would looove to deal with this right now. I would love nothing more than to mop the floor with your turd looking ass PcGameGod: So you are going to mop the floor with my ass, will you be using those shitty looking arms of yours *at this point everyone in the VGA is crowded up in a circle. Ava and a couple of the other girls back away into a corner. Demios: They are not a shitty as your face is going to look when I’m done with you. ... ... ... ...
*fatman swings and I step to the side, grab his arm. He ended up getting it in the ribs, jaw, nose and temple
The magical fatman ended up on the ground, mall security was called. All in all, fatman lost his job at the mall and is banned from showing up in the towson mall for the next six months. |
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fly me to the moon |
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| $$JOB$$ GET!!! |
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| 04:51pm 26/02/2004 |
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mood:  anxious
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So I got a job offer today... to build a website...
I'm thinking of charging 3000-6000 USD or 30 USD per hour. They also want me on for monthly updates... w00t money. I can get a car, build a new b0x3n or get out of debt... maybe I can do all 3... hmm. Either way I'm getting good pay in a month. |
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fly me to the moon |
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| 01:53pm 24/02/2004 |
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mood:  apathetic
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Too much drama in my life. Much too much. |
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fly me to the moon |
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| Must find way |
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| 12:57pm 15/02/2004 |
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mood:  blank
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I need to go see Dunn sometime this week... I have to, I'm dying. She always knows whats wrong, and how to solve it... I'll spend all of thursday hopefully with her and crash there. |
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fly me to the moon |
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| 07:16pm 13/02/2004 |
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You didn’t stop to look ‘round You were gone before I hit the ground You went on your way And no prayer was said Ah, you left me for dead You didn’t cover my face I didn’t merit a communal grave You set me aside And no tears were shed You left me for dead And I say I won’t stop, no, ‘till hell is your home There’s nowhere to hide, no, nowhere You’ll feel the cold of my gun at your head Ah, you left me for dead And it’s not like you stayed by my side or you called me a priest You searched through my mouth to check for gold teeth You were pawning my shoes as I bled You left me for, left me for, left me for dead You kept on taking your time Until it was certain I couldn’t survive Judas remained, you turned and fled Ah, You left me for dead And it didn’t trouble your mind It did not disturb you to see me decline You turned out my lights You put me to bed Ah, you left me for dead And I say that I won’t rest my head until Hell is your home You’ll think that you’re safe, but oh no You’ll feel the cold of my gun hit your head Ah, you left me for dead And you didn’t stay close to me, didn’t stay by my side I was choking in blood as delight filled your eyes You’re going to burn for each word that was said ‘Cause you left me for, left me for, left me for dead But I don’t want to search no more There’s nowhere to hide So why don’t you come quietly, my love I wanted to say, to say that you sure proved the death of me ‘cause Now I’ve reached a dead end And I can’t go back But if I’m going down then you’ll come with me You didn’t stop to look ‘round You were gone before I hit the ground You went on your way And no prayer was said Ah, you left me for dead ‘Cause you didn’t cover my face I didn’t merit a communal grave You set me aside And no tears were shed You left me for dead |
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fly me to the moon |
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| 06:51pm 13/02/2004 |
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mood:  lonely
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Is it normal to feel left behind? I've been feeling left behind as of recent. Sure I'm not alone... but I'm still left behind. I know why... I always know why don't I? Yeah, it's the same old problems, same old reasons, same old hell. All I ever do is break my back... I break it and get left behind. It matters not why it got broken. I get left behind anyway.
People dangle on the edge of cliffs and I'm always there to pull them up... but when I trip and I start to fall... no one is there to pull me up... ever. I always have to pull myself up... always.
I'm upset that this keeps happening. Everyone sees it happen. No one does a damn thing. I know why too. Everything I have with anyone or anything, is taken away... by the people I love the most at that. It's tiresome... I'm so tired. What makes it all worth it. Nothing... nothing at all.
I'm done bitching now |
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fly me to the moon |
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| This is why I hate IRC |
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| 05:31pm 23/01/2004 |
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[Demios] if who comes to your house? [Nortnie] if you come to me house [Nortnie] i could put [Nortnie] your [Nortnie] "black penis" in my mouth
Here's what I'm thinking... "WTF wait a second... who the hell are you... didn't you just say you were 14? Who is this goddamed n00b in the chan. Have I not mentioned multiple times that I'm not singe and I'm faithfull? who the fuck are you"... That ran through my head in like 3 seconds... People today scare and piss me off. |
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2 flights - fly me to the moon |
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| 05:14pm 29/12/2003 |
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mood:  content
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being above depression rocks so much...
thank you... you know who you are. |
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fly me to the moon |
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| 12:29pm 23/11/2003 |
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"...and if I can't make you love me. Just tell me! What do I have to do... to forget about you..." |
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fly me to the moon |
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| 03:18pm 13/11/2003 |
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mood:  cold
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I'm sorry I lied... I promised that things would never change between us... I'm sorry so sorry I failed you... I swore things would remanin the same... I swore things would never change... I'm sorry I could not keep you from changing... |
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fly me to the moon |
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| 02:04pm 13/11/2003 |
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You think life is at it's worst... then shit falls from the sky. I got fired yesterday. |
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2 flights - fly me to the moon |
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