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Friday, October 10th, 2008
whycut
[ silly_sally ]
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12:31a
there is hope... there is always tomorrow
hey
i havent written in this journal in a really really long time
so i thought i'd release some of my thoughts
i havent cut /hit/ or burned myself in over 3 years and a few months now
and ofcourse through those past years i have thought about hurting ect
and those bad thoughts are coming back again
and i want them to go away
to fade away
ive been trying really hard to be good
i havent done anything because im a good girl
i dont want to go back to the hospital or go on more meds or go to therapy
ive done that shit and i dont ever want to do it again
i hate it i got myself under control
i just keep saying
i'm a very strong person ...
there is hope... there is always tomorrow
take one day at a time
but why does this happen
to us
to me
to you
i just dont get it!
sure its a way to release
but gosh darn once you start you cant stop
or the thought of it ...its still gonna be there
when will it just go?
did god give us memory to remember all the bad things on purpose?
because its on your arm
scars scars scars scars
and those dont fade away
scars scars scars
those dont go away
creams ..surgery... ect...or whatever you try
i still see them on me
and theres no wound on me because i havent done anythingin a long time
no cuts
no bruseing
no burns
i just see them though as if i did
red scratches deep wounds scabs bright infections
im all stressed from work and school and everything else
prob like everyone else is in the world
im sorry for this fucking rant
xoxox
I HAVE HOPE FAITH AND LOVE FOR EVERYONE
stay strong
current mood:  disappointed
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(comment on this)
whycut
[ silly_sally ]
|
12:31a
there is hope... there is always tomorrow
hey
i havent written in this journal in a really really long time
so i thought i'd release some of my thoughts
i havent cut /hit/ or burned myself in over 3 years and a few months now
and ofcourse through those past years i have thought about hurting ect
and those bad thoughts are coming back again
and i want them to go away
to fade away
ive been trying really hard to be good
i havent done anything because im a good girl
i dont want to go back to the hospital or go on more meds or go to therapy
ive done that shit and i dont ever want to do it again
i hate it i got myself under control
i just keep saying
i'm a very strong person ...
there is hope... there is always tomorrow
take one day at a time
but why does this happen
to us
to me
to you
i just dont get it!
sure its a way to release
but gosh darn once you start you can stop
or the thought of it ...its still gonna be there
when will it just go?
did god give us memory to remember all the bad things on purpose?
because its on your arm
scars scars scars scars
and those dont fade away
scars scars scars
those dont go away
creams ..surgery... ect...or whatever you try
i still see them on me
and theres no wound on me because i havent done anythingin a long time
no cuts
no bruseing
no burns
i just see them though as if i did
red scratches deep wounds scabs bright infections
im all stressed from work and school and everything else
prob like everyone else is in the world
im sorry for this fucking rant
xoxox
I HAVE HOPE FAITH AND LOVE FOR EVERYONE
stay strong
current mood: disappointed
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(1 comment | comment on this) Wednesday, October 8th, 2008
whycut
[ toxic_disorder ]
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9:55p
=)
so it's been quite a while since i've posted .. guess i haven't had a reason. i've been really busy lately, between work and school and junk .. but i figured i'd update, so right now life is good. I'm in love with an incredable person and we're together .. but we agreed since he's moved to florida for 3 years that if in the mean time we find someone else we wanna be with then we won't stop that if it's wut we really want ya know? i don't wanna keep him chained down, even though it would kill to see him with someone else and vice versa so we're just taking things day by day and see where everything goes. but things are great, i'm doing fantastic in all my classes .. excpet spanish .. i'm dying in that one.
The 17th is my 8 months without cutting. i'm proud of that. i went to doing it everyday with extremely large amounts to where i could barely move.. it was out of control. i started when i was 9 .. i'll be 18 on the 13th .. and not once in that time have i been able to say that i've gone this long without it at one time. it means more to me than anything right now, no matter how hard it is i'm trying eveything i can to make a year, i want that so badly. so yeah i just wanted to do a quick update. hope everyone is well <3
~~~~~~~Monkeybones
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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