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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Ashy's Blurty:
| Thursday, August 21st, 2003 | |
| 10:45 am | Genital Warts You+Me=Hardcore Fucking. Current Mood: ghey Current Music: Peter Murphy- All Night Long |
| Thursday, June 26th, 2003 | |
| 12:50 pm | It happens Awe I talked to April last night. She is so cool. I missed talking to her. She is moving. The weird part, TO A DIFFERENT COUNTRY. That is so sad. We are going to hang out tonight at VAC. I don't think she likes Mike. I'm sure he won't mind her verbal bashings. But wow we talked for a long fucking time. I eventually had her call me and we caught up on everything! She thinks Rob is cute. Awwwwww...Coming from her, she is almost as scary as I. So, for her to admit that a fairly normal guy is cute is cool. She thinks that I am going to end up transforming him..LOL. Doubtful. So, we talked till about three in the morning. Gothcon came into my hand of cards too. I think it is all gay. An event for all those ugly goth people to attempt to get laid. the end. I bet i didn't mention how someone told me a bunch of awkward things today. If I was half of what I thought I was, I would be a different person. - does that make sense? no. I will describe myself briefly. I am mean, hateful, vengeful, ugly, selfish, rude, inconsiderate, self centered, and i dont like people who have to tell me this over and over again. simply thats why i call myself ugly. it sums it all up. I told someone they were nothing today, they took it offensively. whats wrong with being honest? I was also told to mind my own business about gothcon because i sold out. i was simply getting into my own business because my name was brought up. afterwards this person just kept rambling and putting themselves down. but in the end it was my fault. not to sound wicked or anything. but i find this all funny. the fact i can make people believe things that they should never believe about themselves is just an awesome talent. stupid faux goths. they can go stick their powdered noses in the air. i dont think i can be any more mean to a person. if i keep this up, the world is going to hate me. :D I can't wait! the list of who likes me is shorter then the dislike one. people seriously make me sick, they are all sheep. im just the black one...:p bullshit. it is all pointless shit that in three years I wont care about because I will be a graduate and I will be out on my own. fuck those gay wannabe goths. they are so fucking with the wrong crazy bitch. Current Mood:  bitchyCurrent Music: Cruxshadows- Cruelty |
| Wednesday, June 25th, 2003 | |
| 10:20 pm | Solitary Fields [[ Things in Nature ]] + if I were a stone, I would be: I think I would be one of those ones where you break it in half and there is crystalish figures in it. You know? + if I were a tree, I would be: I would be one of those gloomy ones who die quickly. + if I were a bird, I would be: One that was sacraficed in the name of satan. + if I were a flower/plant, I would be: A dead Flower. + if I were a kind of weather, I would be: I would be overcast. Im not exactly cheery, nor to I mope around in despair. + if I were a vegetable, I would be: Eh, a rotting one. + if I were an animal, I would be a: Kitty Kitty + if I were a liquid I would be: Cum [[ Man Made Things ]] + if I were a machine, I would be: I would be industrial as all hell. + if I were a tool, I would be: A tool..haha [[ Fictional Things ]] + if I were a mythical creature, I would be: I am too ugly to be a goddess. I think I would be something along the lines of ugliness and hatefullness. + if I were a cartoon character I would be: I would be in anime because I think it is so trendy that I should just put that answer to be soooo goth and industrial it makes my blood flow from my crotch. [[ Sound ]] + if I were a sound, I would be: Electronic Synthpopy beat. + if I were a song, I would be: Anything by Front242<3, or I would most likely be holding on by VNV. + if I were a musical instrument, I would be: A synthesizer, duh. [[ Touch ]] + if I were a body part I would be: a penis :p + if I were a facial expression I would be: A face that only someone with down syndrome would have. [[ Taste ]] + if I were a taste, I would be: bitter [[ Sight ]] + if I were a color, I would be: oh i dont, metallicy black. + if I were an object, I would be: A book...or a condom. + if I were a shape I would be: A pentagram. + if I were an element, I would be: I think air. + if I were a car, I would be: I would so be a Fiero because I just love Josh's car. [[ Feelings ]] + if I were an emotion, I would be: Pain [[ Other ]] + if I were to trade places with another person, it would have been: I don't think I want to be anyone else. + if I were a movie, I would be: Legends + if I were a food, I would be: A small child. + if I were a place, I would be: Atlantis sounds nice, or Italy. + if I were a material, I would be: PVC!!!!!!! + if I were a religion, I would be: Eclectic Pagan, as I already am. "Technically" + if I were a word, I would be: No, I would be a sentence. That girl is Uber Deathrock + if I were a subject in school I would be: English + if I were a number I would be: 10 + if I were a month I would be: October + if I were a day of the week I would be: Tuesday + if I were a time of day I would be: 7:45pm + if I were a direction I would be: Lost as hell. + if I were a sin I would be: Lust + if I were a historical figure I would be: O.o...there are so many. I can go glammy and say Marilyn Monroe...*_* <~~Smart ass + if I were a method of death I would be: Drowning. It is so helpless. Come over someone....now. Current Mood:  boredCurrent Music: Cinema Strange- Hebenon Vial |
| 1:30 am | Everyone knows I am very private.... I never update this anymore. Andrew brought this to my attention. Nothing new. I am getting a tattoo of a bat on my lower back. Then after that I am getting demonic wings. I didn't like my scarification. I think if I put more piercings in my face that it will take focus off of my ugliness. I am going to see VAC on thursday I hate Jen. I am sad because a banshee is going to scream and I will die...:/ According to guys who are mean and try to scure me. ;) Oh yeah. I got a new job. I am still with Rob. I miss him very much. He completes me. <3 That's all you need to know. Sorry I tend to another journal which only two people read. It is where I tend to let a lot loose. So, sorry...:( Current Mood:  sleepyCurrent Music: The Cruxshadows- Purgatory |
| Saturday, June 7th, 2003 | |
| 1:41 pm | Caught in Crossfire, Scream for backup...The enemy is near i need to stop slacking and get off my pale white ass and get ready. I hope the nail place is not crowded. Bah. I want to be in and out so Jen and i don't hit traffic on the way getting Kurt and Carey. I read this girls journal for curiousity because Jen always insists on keeping tabs with it. I was skimming through it and found some pretty impressively piss off ashley material. Being I do have to privlage to read her journal because it is public, I am offered a variety of neat things. I said something to Rob about it and I feel like kicking myself in the ass because I am showing signs of Jen Syndrome. I trust him enough. I trist him a whole lot. So.....I doubt there is anything to worry about. His friend Chris which I have said some shameful and horrible things about talked to me today. He said Rob was really happy with me, that I had some sort of effect on him. It was sincere, thats all I can say. Now there is no doubt in my mind at all that he would do something to that effect. On the other hand, being the rotten person I am. If anything does happen I will take my crazy ass to wherever that girl is and she won't be counting the days to seeing Rob. She will be counting how many bones I broke and how many stitches her face has. That was my final thought. So here I am bitching. And bitching. When I should be getting ready. Beep Boop. Current Music: UV-Static Erosion |
| 12:39 pm | Does my pulse turn you off? Five details about you... [x] I'm an Ashley [x] I collect cats [x] I practice voodoo [x] I love Rob [x] My favorite colors are black and purple. Five details about your appearance right now... [x] My roots are showing. [x] I am wearing make up. [x] My nails are purple [x] I am wearing my ww2 iron cross bracelet. [x] I'm wearing a black knee length skirt and a bible camp shirt..<~:p Five things you did today [x] Came back from Jersey. [x] Cried. [x] Petted my kitties [x] Picked out what to wear tonight for the skinmachine show [x] Put green minty clay on my face to make myself purrty Five memorable things you did in the last year... [x] Had the Blueblood folks take my pix!!!!! [x] Won Miss Spooky by stabbing my stomach and aborting a baby. [x] Made a shitload of clothes. [x] Met Rob <3 [x] Turned 18...Woot Five things that everyone should know about you... [x] I don't do drugs or smoke and I am vengeful to those who do. [x] I can be EXTREMELY mean. [x] I would kill someone for my Mother. [x] I also do Shock Performance art. [x] I will fight to save a animal that is being mistreated. Honrable mention {x}I Honestly planned on becoming a Nun till I was about 13, heh. Five favorite groups... [x] Siouxsie and The Banshees [x] Davis Bowie [x] VNV [x] Cinema Strange [x] Bella Morte Five favorite artists... [x] Brothers Quay [x] John Santerineross [x] Caleb Storms [x] Hans Bellmer [x] Bosch Five favorite songs... [x] Solitary- Vnv [x] Holding on-Vnv [x] Sad- Screams for Tina [x] I will break you- London After Midnight [x] I Don't Want To Live This Life-The Ramones Five favorite movies... [x] Any of the Bothers Quay films [x] TNBC [x] Filmstrip [x] Jubilee *it's a 80's punk rock movie*...Sorry but I dig it. [x] Anything by John Waters Five things that make you happy... [x] Rob [x] Having a devil worshipping Mom [x] My friends and supporters [x] The publicity I get for being neat. [x] My cats Five people who mean a lot to you... [x] My Mom [x] Jason [x] Rob [x] Alex [x] Jen, and so many others that I could name. :) Five things that disgust you... [x] Fake People!!!!! Oh I just LOVE you *fake smile*...Yea sure you do fuck off! [x] People who brag or act like they are better then everyone. [x] Ass kissers [x] Weak people [x] People who don't have the nerve to say something to someone's face. Honrable mention {x} Drug addicts or alcoholics. Five things that impress you... [x] Non Judgemental. [x] Intelligence [x] Good Personality [x] Sense of humor [x] Emotional and mental strength Honrable mention {x} True devotion Five things that don't impress you... [x] Lying [x] Disgusting people. [x] Being Fake [x] Famous People or people that know famous people. [x] Rich People Five things you cant live without... [x] My Mom [x] Rob [x] Books [x] The Occult [x] My Pets Honrable mention {x} MAKEUP IS GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Five things you'll do when you complete this... [x] Getting the rest of my outfit ready! [x] Take Tylenol [x] Do the rest of my makeup [x] Listen to music [x] Get my layouts together and stick a needle in my eye. Five things you feel right now... [x] I miss Rob. [x] My throat hurts. I wish I had a real sharp knife to get rid of it. [x] I want Rob now. [x] Why is the pen all the way over there? [x] VALID POINT. Current Mood:  awakeCurrent Music: SB-Halloween |
| 9:27 am | I have no doubt from what I see, that I have never wanted more. I have never had such a weird morning. Jen came over when she saw me walk in my house. She was happy I was home. Compromises were made. I am going back into the scene. :) This is going to be good. Time for me to GET beautiful again. The ride was ok. I cried the whole time. I kept looking at the valid point. I miss how I could not keep my lipgloss on for more then one minute. I miss how he kissed me. I miss how I woke up next to him every morning. I miss how he always smiled at me. I miss his voice. I miss how he sang Type O to me. I miss how he told me he loved me. I miss how he held me when I slept. I miss how we watched Kompressor videos. I miss how he told me I was cute even though I am not. I miss how he laid on my chest and listened to my heartbeat. I miss how he acted like he had down syndrome. I miss how he tickled me. I miss how he did things to make me laugh. I miss how he always looked so cute. I miss how we played by the monster rules. I miss being happy. That week was just wow. I want to go back. If I do go back, I am flying and not changing my plans so I dont get fucked Tonight is skinmachine. I am making a big entrance. I am taking a camera. I might post the pix. Current Mood:  gloomyCurrent Music: Funker Vogt- Static Collision |
| Wednesday, June 4th, 2003 | |
| 4:19 pm | |
| 3:52 am | Current Music: Bella Morte - Soma |
| 1:20 am | because I know you do coke... The train ride sucks...I went to NYC...its scary there...I got complemented on my ass...but this black guy...I got wet thinking about that...just Rob doesnt know that...umm...Rob gave me the necklace...I like it...I love Rob...but not as much as eating small children and spitting there bones at black drug dealers...speaking of...almost died...Rob said I looked cute stomping in puddles with my boots...weird...I am going to eat him...or...just hit him in the head with a shovel...yeah...I'm cute...bling bling...I touched Rob...he shivers...odd child...very odd...you can update it now...oh wait...wasnt supposed to say that...Rob is tied to the bed...bling bling...nonsense...what the fuck was that??? hahahaha...alright yeah...for the love of god...and if you will make satan your god I will update...later...Rob rules! oh...one last thing...you know what??? Screw you! Current Mood: sleepyCurrent Music: funker vogt - Tragic hero |
| Sunday, June 1st, 2003 | |
| 7:13 pm | Eternity awaits OMG I am leaving soon. Im happy and stuff. But, I am going to miss all you scary kids :(.... Jason is leaving tomorrow too. Him and Carrie are going to Jamaica. I hope they have a good time. He said that if any one pisses me off I need to take names and give them to him. ;) butthead :P Yah. My mom is going to miss me. She says that she will take care of the cats and take my phone calls. She is the best. All my weirdo friends are just going to have to shove a needle in their face and get on with it.LOL. yah and when I get back Ghouly kitty and Dana have a suprise..What ever could it be? Alright, I need to get myself in order and kill myself... Current Mood:  ecstaticCurrent Music: VNV Nation- Carbon |
| 2:30 pm | Sleeping Pills I could just kick Continental Airlines ass. It started off as yesterday my mother and I went there to get my ticket changed. Well, here they say because I did not give them a weeks notice I would have to put a 2000$ down payment on it, and then rebuy the ticket. All because I did not give them a weeks notice. Im not going to spend nearly 3 grand on a ticket to go somewhere for three days and then leave. I could buy the hellraiser dress or a ticket to Italy. My mom would have paid for it, but I would have felt so bad because it is not worth it. So, the next round is a train. I flipped out. I am too good for a train. Those are slow and stuff. So, blah blah. I talked to Vanessa and she said that when she goes up way north for phot shoots she always takes a train and she gets the night ones so she can sleep. She told me they were not bad at all. So fuck. Now, I did not get refunded on my plane ticket. So my mom today has to pay 500$ for a train ticket. Heh. Oh, and I leave 10 o clock tonight. Im going to kill myself. So fuck. OF COURSE THIS GETS FUCKED IN SOME WAY. Then I find out I didn't need to refund my ticket because fuckface got another idea. BUT NO. Today everyone is giving me requests for if i see anything they would like, I have to buy it. Those morons. I am going to eat their soul. Im not even packed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Current Mood:  anxiousCurrent Music: Museum- Even Now |
| Saturday, May 31st, 2003 | |
| 2:52 am | Goodnight Tonight was just wow. Words cannot describe what it was. It started off with plans for the chamber. Jen got here and I decided to wear the skirt with pieces of sheet metal on it, and the circuit board corset. Well, before I got dressed I got called by a person from some company. this was the conversation me- hello person- hi my name is stew, i would like to tell you some great offers for mci long distance me- i dont like stew person- no, im stew me- stew, this just in...you suck person- ok, i would like to get your attention me-i have fuzzy bat slippers me- i was eating corn flakes and i walked to jens and there was a finger in my cereal person- ma'am this is a great offer me- i dont know why there would be a finger in there me- jen had one in her cereal too me- i like fingers person- this offer includes me- wait, im not done with the story me- its just getting good person- ma'am this is a huge selling package me- this cereal was so good, i still ate it with the finger in it. me- have you ever eaten a small child? person-no me- pineapple and chicken, but the cereal made me crave fingers person- can i sign you up for this offer me- only if i can puke in your eye person- thats gross me- stew, your ugly you should die, i love you then i hung up... Jen was laughing her ass off. So, we get together and we are on the way to the show and we decide to stop at Chaos to see the clothes. A lesbian hit on me, she shaved her head. I told her Jen was my partner...lol...she went away. I owe my mom 800$ for this outfit i put on her credit card today. It is coming from the UK. it insists of boots, corset, black and white striped skirt thats poofy. All made by Dark Angel. Im such a fashion whore. Today was full of Depeche Mode. Turns out Day of Doom is going to be flop. A lot of people are not going to go. I danced at the chamber and hung out with a few people and jen and i took off to diana's. when we left there this guy and his girlfriend were in the car and i waved because they were staring and then they followed us. that was the best part. We even tried stopping at Kev's to see if he had any VNV patches because Rob wants one. He did not have any...Boo...I think I am going to go back at working at the mission....O.O...Chain Link Addiction's goth wear got bought out and the fetish part is going too. I think The Mission will just over run it. So, when I saw Marty#2 today he wanted to give me my job back. bah. It was just little details that made tonight so nice......bling bling... Current Mood: sleepyCurrent Music: Assemblage23- I am The Rain |
| Thursday, May 29th, 2003 | |
| 4:19 pm | I think I am getting Strepth Throat!! Well, my computer pissed me off. So you know what I did? I took it outside and beat it with a sledgehammer. Not joking. Jason was like like "HAHAHA YOUR GOING CRAZY". Which I did. I was so mad. My dad was just like " What the fuck" So today he told me to leave work at one and walk over to the Cobblestone and we could have lunch at the Deli and shit. So, since it is right across from CLA, I got over there and my grampa was there! Friday and Saturday are going to fuck me in the ass. I am vending on Friday, so I can sell some clothes that I have nevere worn and some dolls at the Damned Scary Fashion Event. I think Jen may pitch in some clothes too. I mean, half the shit I only wore for photo shoots. I don't really dress up to go anywhere. I have all this shit laying around and no use for it. I was thinking about putting the stuff on EBAY, but my luck I would not get shit for it. The money I get for that has to be put on hold to help purchase my trip to Vegas in September. Actually, I am thinking about transferring to Kent. I know it is uber far away and everything. But, I know a ton of cool people there and they say it is a blast down there. I don't know if my parents will go for it. My mom might, but she has this attachment to me, and my dad would tell me nothing but white trash attend that college. So BLAH! I can't afford college on my own, and my mom wouldn't hear of such an idea. Tony goes to Kent and he likes it. So booooooo. Now I must play with my computer!!!! BEEP BOOP. Current Mood: gratefulCurrent Music: Suicide Commando-Dying Inside |
| Tuesday, May 27th, 2003 | |
| 3:52 pm | My heart is growing pale I went to court today. I got my license suspended until August....This is going to suck balls. I have to pay a shitload of fines. Thats ok though. I just can't spend all my money on dresses and boots. Bah I don't even want to go to work tomorrow. I have to work from 7 to whenever Jess comes in. Which wont be until 5. Blah. I can't drive. This sooooo sucks. I am still going to drive illegally and you know try not to get caught. So blah, I am going to go. When I see things like that and Bothers Quay or Jan Svankmajer films the beauty of them just swallow me up. So I am going to spend quality time looking up still images of the movie to fuck with....Boop 1. Nirvana- yes 2. Sublime- no 3. Depeche Mode- yes 4. Linkin Park- no 5. No Doubt- old stuff 6. Rage Against the Machine- no 7. U2- yes 8. Green Day- no 9. Beastie Boys- no 10. Red Hot Chili Peppers- no 11. Blink-182- no 12. System of a Down- no 13. The Smashing Pumpkins- yes 14. Korn- no 15. Bob Marley- no 16. Metallica- no 17. The Offspring- no 18. The Cure- yes 19. Incubus- no 20. Stone Temple Pilots- no 21. Pearl Jam - no 22. Tool- yes 23. Radiohead- no 24. 311- no 25. Nine Inch Nails- yes 26. Weezer- no 27. Social Distortion- YES!!!MIKE NESS IS GOD!!!! 28. The Smiths/Morrissey- yes 29. Jane's Addiction- no 30. Oingo Boingo- no 31. Alice In Chains- no 32. Limp Bizkit- no 33. The Clash- yes 34. Dave Matthews Band- No 35. Creed- no 36. The Ramones- no 37. Staind- no 38. R.E.M.- no 39. Bush- no 40. Bad Religion- no 41. Foo Fighters- no 42. New Order- yes 43. Soundgarden- no 44. Garbage- no 45. Pennywise- no 46. Violent Femmes- it has showed up on my playlist on occasion 47. Rob Zombie/White Zombie- yes 48. David Bowie- yes, he is my idol...next to boy george 49. Godsmack- no 50. Duran Duran- OH YES 51. P.O.D.- no 52. Coldplay- no 53. Beck- nah 54. Eminem- no 55. Deftones- no 56. Cypress Hill- no 57. Oasis- yes 58. Jimmy Eat World- no 59. Tori Amos- I think that she needs to be shot in the head, then they should make a poster of that so she can sell another 7000000 albums, and they should write at the bottom of the poster " she is why we should not rape women" but other then that she is ok in my book. 60. Moby- no 61. The Pixies- no 62. Blondie- No 63. Live- no 64. Hole- no 65. Rancid- no 66. Fatboy Slim- no 67. Siouxsie and the Banshees- yes 68. Marilyn Manson- no 69. Save Ferris- No 70. The Sex Pistols- no 71. Disturbed- no 72. Billy Idol- YES 73. The Strokes- no 74. The Police- No 75. Primus- no 76. The Go-Go's- No 77. Everclear- no 78. Bjork- no 79. Dramarama- No 80. Prodigy- no 81. The Cult- nah 82. Cake- no 83. MxPx- no 84. Third Eye Blind - no 85. Sum 41- no 86. Travis- no 87. Papa Roach- noo 88. Devo- no 89. A Perfect Circle- Yes 90. New Found Glory- no 91. The Cranberries- YES 92. Lit- no 93. The B-52's- no 94. Puddle of Mudd- no 95. Blur- no 96. Unwritten Law- no 97. Pet Shop Boys- no 98. Hoobastank- no 99. X- no 100. Lenny Kravitz- no 101. Adema- no 102. Echo & the Bunnymen- no 103. Kid Rock- no 104. INXS- no 105. Everlast/House of Pain- no 106. Faith No More- no 107. Ozzy Osbourne- yes 108. the charlatans-no 109. cradle of filth- yes 110. joy division- yes 111. rammstein- yes 112. AFI- no 113. good charlotte- no 114. orgy- no 115. elliot smith- No 116. placebo- yes 117. dir en grey- No 118. sisters of mercy- yes 119. the white stripes- no 120. union underground- no 121. the clash- no 122. the exploited- no 123. bauhaus/peter murphy- yes 124. Black Flag- no 125. Rollins Band- no 126. The Vines- no 127. Divinity Destroyed - no Current Mood: coldCurrent Music: Bauhaus- Hollow Hills |
| Monday, May 26th, 2003 | |
| 5:43 pm | Sorry My last entry was private. Today is a bad day and I don't want to make my life vulnerable for everyone to bash. So hack my password. Current Mood: angryCurrent Music: VNV- Beloved |
| 2:44 pm | FAT Oh dear. What a cry of disgust. Anyways, yesterday was alright I guess. I got those pictures developed and Jen came over and would not leave. It was funny shit...Then this guy that Rob knows was talking to me, and I got disgruntled. So, I blocked him. Well, he continued to stalk me, and piss me off. Then he called me fat. Which Jen was dumbfounded because well, I don't think I am and neither did she. I mean, Jen weighs more then me and is not fat. So, I got upset and did my make up and put on the cutest dress I owned and drank wine and cried. I was such a lush. I sat there and cried to Jen and said that I was ugly and that all the modeling I did was just because everyone knew me. Then it was alright because Jeremy called and calmed me down. So yeah. Then this morning I went to bed at 5AM and woke up at 11 because Jason was here. Weird, no? So he was talking to me and he just weirded me out and blah. It was real weird. So, then that nutty lady calls about her Harry Potter doll. I was like FUCK! I will have to make it and then Rob's Ugly Ashley doll will come next. I am so depressed today. I feel like nothing can help. Current Mood: discontentCurrent Music: The Cure-Just Like Heaven |
| Sunday, May 25th, 2003 | |
| 12:39 am | America's Rollercoast today was well spent. I worked until 2 and came home....I waited for jen to get ready and went and kidnapped her. We went to Cedar Point...Ah, Good fucking shit. We got more compliments then complaints. so yeah, and some weird guy. It is always the death metal weirdos who freak me out. He was like "YOUR MY SOULMATE, I WILL MARRY YOU." I was just like woooo noooooooo.....That new roller coaster is fucking amazing. We have pictures that are so amazingly hilarious...We went on the water rides and junk. Got wet. Petted animals....yeah. got hit on, ate eye scream and cotton candy. Then we just decided to call it a night. It was just damn good shit. Nobody else would go with us because they dont like the sun. those fags. I am bored and wide awake. I dont feel like making any dolls now. bah.Dude the fucking disaster transport just made it all cool. It is the indoor roller coaster that is in a nuclear power plant.....ohhh man... we felt at home. I saw my uncle today. He is awesome. That gangster punk. I am glad I am his favorite neice. So yeah..bah. it was all well spent. Im bored now....lol...shit, this rarely happens. Current Mood: awakeCurrent Music: Fear Cult- Sexbeat |
| Friday, May 23rd, 2003 | |
| 9:13 pm | Shit God this lady is so DUMB! I hate making life portrait dolls. She came over and said she wanted the eyes closed instead of open...So being I ran out of acrylic cover I had to run to the craft store for this broad. She is having me make a harry potter one, and I soooo don't want to. She is paying two hundred dollars for them both....so i guess it is worth it. I am going to stay home tonight to finish this stupid doll and give it to the stupid lady so she can give it to her stupid daughter. I have to fucking work tomorrow and sinday. Bah. I like working there, but I get soooooo fucking bored. Im saying fuck too much. I'm sorry. Eh, I think tomorrow Steven, Jen, and Cody are going to http://www.cedarpoint.com yeah, see if I get on any of those monsters. It is going to be sunny, and I will have to watch what I wear. It is about ten minutes from my house, so I guess I will be the one driving. Jen is going to get her license back in a week or so. Her uncle pulled some strings, and she got her way. Ah well..Im done. Current Mood:  crazyCurrent Music: Front242-Start |
| 5:43 pm | It is just love laced with tragedy Yeah, nice. Ok, I woke up this morning and had to cook jen breakfast. heheh....yeah, and then i had to get in the shower to go help jason. he said like three words to me. Carrie said maybe four if that counts. So, yeah. I take it Jason knows I am a bit upset. Jesus, in a week I am going to be in Jersey....YAY. I had one of my fits last night and you know how that goes. terrible. jen was too drunk to know what she was saying. June 13 is The Cyber Goth Prom. You guys should go <18+ 15$ 21+10$> It is at the Chamber. I don't think I will be there. Not my thing. I hit my side on the door today, OUCH. It was doing better until I hit it. Fucking shit if you ask me. It is just scabbed now, the stitches went away. Eventually it will scar. goody. I dont have anything else to complain about shockingly. OH GOTH MODELING To explain this, the goth-allternative models do not have to meet any expectations. They normally go for the ones who have a "higher ranked name" so that particular photographer, magazine, production, artist can also be noticed. I think anyone who thinks that models who are goth are amazing...because you dont have to be any color, shape, size, or gender. I know various models who i have had the pleasure of working with who were ugly. Someone made a comment to me last night about a really good production artist asking me to photograph for him. He only asked me because I started young and i was active in a lot of magazines and events. He thought having me in his portfolio would boost his standards. It doesn't bother me. It is just that I did modeling because it was fun, i just got bored with it. It just made me think about all the blond haired blue eyed anorexic models. thats the beauty of goth, we dont care what you look like. if your goth, your a unique person and quite brave. we dont base it on looks. it is all about your name in the end. thats where i backed out of it....ok i am going to stop. i just needed to get that out.... Current Mood:  artisticCurrent Music: The Cruxshadows-It's a sin |
