What the fuck!?!?!?   
09:01pm 02/10/2003
 
mood: crushed
music: FUCK YOU BITCH
Well then. Today she ignored me. She is like acting like I am not there and worse of all since her boyfriend doesn’t go to our school she is flirting with all these other guys right in front of my face. Especially this football player. And I don’t like Football and she knows it. Because I don’t believe in being a lamb and following the crowd! And its just irritating that she would sit there knowing how I feel I put my heart on my sleve and she would rather not only step on it but take a knife and stab it over and over then take a chain saw and just keep on cutting it and cutting it then to just chill out with that shit and just keep it friendly like how it used to be. Maybe I just notice it more because my heart is more out there then it was before but still its just like WOW why would you go out of your way and ignore me then talk to me. And unless she wants something like a sandwich from the lunch bar or a milk or unless she wants to say something to my friend next to me she makes no eye contact no conversation everything surrounds the football player. And that guys a ass hole. He has a stick up his ass and he thinks he is better than everyone but you know what. If she is going to be like that and have me sit there looking like a fool I am glad I didn’t kill no one for her. But I am not happy I put myself out there like that. But then again she is 15 and I am 17 and I guess…she just cant handle this shit. Cant help it though that little kids cant take shit.
 
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damnnn   
08:59pm 30/09/2003
 
mood: disappointed
music: nothing
I TOLD HER. Because she knew something was wrong and she said I don’t know how I did it but I know I hurt you and I don’t mean to because I am a sweet person and I care for you and I would never want to hurt you. So I told her exactly how I felt. I said everything I said that I care for her a lot and that I would do anything for her and just……..EVERYTHING and you know what she said. I cant like you. She said that she cant be with me because she doesn’t want to ruin our friendship. And I except that because with friendship comes great relationships. I just hope that is doesn’t make things difficult. But other than that it was hard. She said it wasn’t so off that she would like someone like me. And that it wasn’t hard for her to see herself with me. It just hurts to know that I will not go to sleep tonight with her hand holding mine. But that’s just what I will have to go threw I guess. I guess that’s the pain I was afraid of and I can only be happy for her and I am. Its just a big let down is all but I will just chill with that. And just go back to black? Maybe?
 
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Things getting better.......i hope   
08:58pm 26/09/2003
 
mood: curious
music: Nothing else maters
Well I talk to her a lot and she is still with her boyfriend and she says she cares for him a lot but she barely gets to talk to him and she barely gets to see him and its like the more and more I talk to her the more I have in common with her the more shit I find out and it amazes me like. I can not believe that she writes poetry and that she likes the same music as me. And its just great. And I cant believe that for once I found someone who makes me want to be a better person she makes my heart stop and she makes me want to be all happy all the time. The only thing holding me back from this…is her boyfriend. And her. And me I have no balls to tell her how I feel. Everything is a risk and if I tell her and she turns me down. Its going to hurt so bad. And plus it might ruin everything we had before but then again it might make things better. But it hurts even more to be faced with the unknown. But whatever. I guess I will just take it slow.
 
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seriously!!   
08:56pm 24/09/2003
 
mood: happy
music: Echo~ Trapt
Well here goes. I was walking down the hall and I went to wave and I swore I saw this on the movies were she looked like she was happy to see me but she was really happy to see her boyfriend standing behind me? AHHHH whatever. And then I thought well maybe I will approach her in lunch and I saw my chance since she was in the line and right next to me and I know she like strawberries I offered her mine and she was like thanks. My boyfriend never lets me have his but then again he is a ass hole. He always acts like that. And I said well then why are you with him and she said because who would want a depressed kid!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH ME ME ME!! Perfect. Maybe I don’t have to kill him! Well then I thought to myself perfect that’s cool and so I was happy that I was hanging out with some people I used to chill with and I wear dark blue when I am happy instead of black and I was just happy all of a sudden. And it just amazed me. And I was just excited. Only I have a lot more issues then her. But for some reason I have a feeling she will understand me. But I don’t know…maybe she wont..I will update more on this later.
 
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WOO HOO   
08:54pm 19/09/2003
 
mood: awake
music: Gasoline
So…There is this girl who I like a lot but of course there is no way in hell I would get her. Because she is like my old girlfriend you know pretty preppy totally opposite of me. But I don’t know. She has a boyfriend. So I figured out the perfect murder for him. See I will stalk them out right. And then I would check out when they go to his house because they are suppose to have a party at his house for a empty house party since his parents are out of town. And so I figure that I would call her cell phone and then have her walk out of the house some how leaving him in the room then sneak up there kill him and then sneak back down. Haven’t worked out all the kinks but I guess I should figure out if she likes me or not. I think I like people to much that I would do anything for them. Even kill there boyfriends. But he doesn’t deserve her. So and then I thought I am going to talk to her at lunch but I am still going to draw out my murder and set it all up so that it will be all perfect when I want it ready to go you know what I mean. And so I figure yeaa perfect. But anyways. That’s all I got so far. And my computer is being gay its letting me into the sight but then ditching me every time I want to get the entry in so if this doesn’t work I will update every Friday.
 
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My poop today was green I think I am getting a cold   
11:35pm 18/09/2003
 
mood: grumpy
music: Farrrrrrrt
Well I got caught. I stole my moms car and I thought she wouldnt notice for a while but then a week went by and I thought I was being smart by every week changing the plates from every car that I saw that looked like hers but then they caught on and just looked for my car. Stupid Stupid Stupid. They didnt press me with anything just put me in Dominion WOW!! Big deal bunch of pom pom eaters in tube socks owell whatever. Anyways I was hanging out with myself and billy bob thorton my new twin. I met him in the bathroom. He is in every bathroom I go in its like he follows me. But he seems to be in like this one little square!? I dont know? But then if I am in a big bathroom he will be like everywhere! owell. Anyways thats all that really happend I tried to cut my liver out but my mom walked in and called the cops on me so I unplugged the phone and chaced her around with the knife. But then she told me that god will soon save me and not to worry. And I told her all I want is my lover back and she started crying saying I am so happy you found a women whats her name and I said Sataintina and she started crying really loud and ran away. I think she got the picture?? Owell. I am sorry I killed my other girl friend but it had to be done!! It just had to be!! But whatever shit happends and then you die get over it!!
 
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Petty ass shit!!   
10:08pm 04/09/2003
 
mood: thirsty
music: Sleep
Sometimes I sit and wish that one day I will be able to push there bottons so far that they will come to my house pull out a gun and shoot me for what I said. Just so I dont have to pull the trigger myself. Sometimes I want to just yell and cream at the top of my lungs just to know that no one turned around. The thought that they grace me with on how pathetic I am or Fat, or bitchy is just another petty thing that they try to use against me.
Heres the story.
Two people Xbestfriend and Xcrush get together and are going out for like 8 months or what not and then I am sitting there like best friends with this person and all of a suddon I am there enemy. Well well well what a surprize. Well anyways I sit there and I talk to them about whats wrong and shit trying to help them out but yet they dont want it...ok whatever fine.
I move on get a new bestfriend and a new crush
Who just happends to be a friend of my Xcrush. So they werent to happy I got involved. So they wish the worst and talk so much shit. So I am just getting all sorts of pissed off. So then I was just like whatever man kiss my ass. And shit like that. Sooner or later we break up. So then they get even more bitchy and we go at it and start yelling and eachother him getting mad me staying saine. So whatever. Then I am just like man fuck off and we start talking mad deep shit!! Like stuff you just dont bring up. And then he just stopped talking. I am thinking
He went over to get his girlfriend and are going to come to my house to talk shit.
or just got in his car and is about to come over and beat my ass?! Ither way is cool with me.
He says he hates me with passion but yet is not man enough to tell me what he hates? Hummmm....
What does that say. He is getting all hyped up and I am not even breaking a sweat. haha whatever man...fuck them I could care less.

So yes sometimes I wish he woudl just get it over with and get so pissed off he runs me over with his car. Or does something to kill me or whatever. Some how he grows some balls and comes for me and hopefully kills me. That way I will be happy.

Because
 
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Petty ass shit!!   
10:08pm 04/09/2003
 
mood: thirsty
music: Sleep
Sometimes I sit and wish that one day I will be able to push there bottons so far that they will come to my house pull out a gun and shoot me for what I said. Just so I dont have to pull the trigger myself. Sometimes I want to just yell and cream at the top of my lungs just to know that no one turned around. The thought that they grace me with on how pathetic I am or Fat, or bitchy is just another petty thing that they try to use against me.
Heres the story.
Two people Xbestfriend and Xcrush get together and are going out for like 8 months or what not and then I am sitting there like best friends with this person and all of a suddon I am there enemy. Well well well what a surprize. Well anyways I sit there and I talk to them about whats wrong and shit trying to help them out but yet they dont want it...ok whatever fine.
I move on get a new bestfriend and a new crush
Who just happends to be a friend of my Xcrush. So they werent to happy I got involved. So they wish the worst and talk so much shit. So I am just getting all sorts of pissed off. So then I was just like whatever man kiss my ass. And shit like that. Sooner or later we break up. So then they get even more bitchy and we go at it and start yelling and eachother him getting mad me staying saine. So whatever. Then I am just like man fuck off and we start talking mad deep shit!! Like stuff you just dont bring up. And then he just stopped talking. I am thinking
He went over to get his girlfriend and are going to come to my house to talk shit.
or just got in his car and is about to come over and beat my ass?! Ither way is cool with me.
He says he hates me with passion but yet is not man enough to tell me what he hates? Hummmm....
What does that say. He is getting all hyped up and I am not even breaking a sweat. haha whatever man...fuck them I could care less.

So yes sometimes I wish he woudl just get it over with and get so pissed off he runs me over with his car. Or does something to kill me or whatever. Some how he grows some balls and comes for me and hopefully kills me. That way I will be happy.
 
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Well   
11:15pm 04/08/2003
 
mood: weird
music: Heart shaped box
You know today was not good.
Someone told me today “When are you going to die??....I got a poll going on??” Well as much as I wish it didn’t it made me pretty damn depressed!! I mean I know I know who cares what they think but. I do… and it hurt. Well I mean I was just chilling out right and doing nothing. But then once all this shit happened I mean it just became thinking about what am I here for?? Like I come in right. I get bitched at by people, Get hurt by others, drink, and drug to numb it all away and then start all over again the next day. But you know I don’t want to go out with something not so original. Like Natural Causes naaa I don’t want that I don’t know not to knock the old geezers but I mean I am not to keen on sticking needles in my arm and tubes down my throat. That’s just not my style. And then gun to the head, not original, slitting wrists. PLEASE!!! I mean if anything I would trip on a shit load of Acid and shrooms, and get some wed and alcohol to top it off and if that doesn’t work then I would try to cut out my liver and see how much damage I have done. And then bleed to death. Well I don’t know about you but that seems pretty cool. I want to go out in a bang. And whoever finds my body will be sickened tell they die. So that will be cool as shit!! Plus…who am I living for?? No one?? I mean who actually cares about me. Family HAHAHAHAHA Friends. Maybe ?? Pets…..they will die sooner than me?? Well I guess there is no one left. If anything I am living for myself. And that’s not much to say there so…that’s out. Well besides that I am by myself. So I guess that’s out. Well I guess I will just see what happens. And see how much drugs I can get a hold of. I want my analysis to read “DAMN TO MANY DRUGS TO LIST!!!”
 
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Today was better   
06:05pm 31/07/2003
 
mood: guilty
music: what?!?!?!?!
Well I hung out with...my consciences. And I was hanging out playing basket ball because I got so bored!! Then I thought why the hell am I doing this?? So I proceeded to the bathroom and made a satanic symbol with my blood. That was totally cool!! And I loved it soooo much. Then I decided to put up one of those for my back round!! Looks cool huh?
Well that got boring so I got in my moms car and continued going 100 mph down a curvy road forcing all the other cars to go on the other side. Ate Toco bell and now I am here…so nothing very important went on. And I didn’t get arrested I did get a summons for court on Wednesday to be there to be a witness…they think some kid Nick did it!! HAHAHAHAHA Whatever. Anyways. I am going to go. And this girl Laural well well I took some toothpicks and stuck them in her eyes the other day. And she screamed soooo loud!! No wonder…she was a cheer leader after all. Then I just left her there. I wanted to cut out her tongue and shove it down her thought but then I thought nawww then they would always point to the Goth kid!! Whatever jack ass!! Fuck off!! Well I am going to go kill myself now!! OYEA I bought a new noose!! And some spell books. I hope I can call up my X girlfriend…I feel bad I killed her but I think she understands!!
 
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DIE DIE DIE DIE   
10:33pm 28/07/2003
  Mannn!! I hate this girl…her name is Laural I hate her sooo much she tells on me for everything!! And insist that she is ruining my life HA you have no power over me bitch!!
She insist of ruining my relationships with people I care about. The five!! HAHAHA You guys are nothing!! After all I only need three people to have loyalty and love you guys have drunkin bliss!! Hahahaha I am the whore?? Wasn’t it you who went after Kylita when Shandrea was going out with him?? And after all wasn’t it you fucking Fiaida? Funny how things come and bit you in the ass?? You think your soo hard core when the realtily is that your nothing but a weak Virgin on a power trip…who can only diss people while drunk..your a nobody no one to me and especially to anyone else. You may look innocent but you’re a slut at heart!! Remember you die of STD’s hahahaha lets not make this another Dawson’s creek episode and sleep with a teacher for an A when you know your pussy is loose for no one will sleep with your ass unless you had a paper bag over your head!! You wonder why you cant get a man?? Well maybe if you wernt pissed off at the world all the time then no one would do anything!! Funny how your reliable source Katalina would always talk shit about YOU behind your back!! Of how you drink too much and need to get some therapy for the dirty looks you have glued to your face!!
I am glad that I am not in that group anymore!! I would have hung myself a long time ago…Go sit around the fire singing Kooom biaaaa FOR NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU!!!
I am sooo giddy with JOY that I am sooo important to you that you read my journal daily just looking for your names. I am sooo giddy that I am sooo important to you for you to keep up a hour long conversation with talking sit to me ON AIM!! And never to my face.
I am giddy with Joy that I mean soooo much to Laural and Katalina that you guys insist of having my name run off your tongue every fucking day!!
I haven’t been this popular and you haven’t looked more foolish!!
You say you can woop my ass…well lets go then??
You say this while you walk away you say this on AIM for when your face to face it was just a joke Jerid!! Beat my ass….HA lets go!!
All I need in my life is Black rose and Erika.
As far as Laural, Katalina, Kylita, ad Shandrea, HA don’t be surprised if your house catches on fire one day!!!1 HAHAHAHAHAHA

I would shoot you just to see you bleed but I have no Alibi
I would cut you up but you will press charges and get me locked up
I would run you over but then I would have to pay for the dents
I would burn down your house but there will be witnesses

But as long as I move to Canada soon I will be good to go. For you are nothing to me
But I am sooo happy I mean something to you!!!!!

Toodles!!
 
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interesting   
11:21pm 24/07/2003
 
mood: high
Well I have finally been questioned. I was wondering when the little piggys will get around to me. And they finally have. Well anyways. They were all like where were you and what were you doing. And after all that drama. I bought some Acid and shrooms and decided to just chill out and watch movies. Like the Ring, and Alice in Wonderland. It was pretty chill. So I didn’t get disappointed in that. Although when the cop came to my house and started questioning me I was kind of out of it. You see I didn’t know that I agreed that it was ok for him to stop by and basically I didn’t know?? So I was like ok whatever. So I just sat there and unfortunately he was just looking right into me and every time he talked smoke came out his mouth and his pen looked like a hookah like the caterpillar had so it was pretty frustrating. But owell. So I was just sitting there when the cat jumped on me only I thought it was the cat from the movie, so that was pretty scary. But I got over and I think I did good, cant completely remember but I think I am going to go now. See ya later
 
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well   
08:16pm 22/07/2003
 
mood: curious
Nothing much has happened yet, I went to school. And they questioned a couple people but nothing bad has happened yet. I think I am in the clear. That is until they find this entry. Owell. I found a good friend that I have been hanging out with for the past couple days. We have been going tagging and we have been lifting cars in order to pay for the apartment he has gotten. He is a pretty chill guy. And I think he knows it was me who killed those two people. I just hope he doesn’t say anything. He has been dropping hints in order for me to edmit it. But I don’t think so…owell. Fuck it. Who cares. Well anyways. I think that’s all I have to report.
 
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She makes me so mad i could fart!!   
09:47pm 20/07/2003
 
mood: satisfied
Today was interesting. I went for orientation for my school and I saw a new teacher named Jenny. She is a bitch she told me to do a problem on the board and because I dropped the chalk she gave me a dirty look like I was nothing. So I looked around and everyone was all looking at me and laughing and pointing. Well so what I did was after class when everyone left and she was there whipping off the board so I went back into the class room locked the door and turned out the lights. After that she continued to say “who is there” all whispering. So I just went up behind her like I was circling my pray and I whispered boo!! And she jumped of course putting her fists up like she was about to defend herself from ME??? HAHAHAHAHAHA well I took the piece of chalk and shoved it down her throat continuing with a yard stick up her ass. I decided to grind up some chalk dust and make her sniff it only to feel the slightest pain in her eyes when people were laughing at me!! So she begged for her life and by this time it was 7:00pm dark out so I let her go. Running chasing her screaming JASONS GONNA GET YOU JENNY! I HATE YOU!!! I hate your smile so I broke her jaw!! I hate her laugh so I damaged her vocals. By the acid stored in the Chemistry room. I hate the way she points her finger at people saying EXCUSE ME!! So I took those nails fresh out of the pedicure and I tore each one of them off with great delight leaving them in the fish bowl for them to swim around!! How to do think I would be able to do all this while she was free to hit me HAHAHA I have experience buddy!! I tied that bitch up!! I wont let her take over me like I let Kathryn and Steven. I was able to take full control of this specific situation. By taking her hair threw the paper shredder and making her head unable to move. And taking the ties stored in the locker room for the football players tying up her hands and feet. Only to be interrupted by the police guard. So I turned around right as he entered the room knowing that he will try to stop me from offing Jenny. I turn around with scissors screaming this little piggy gets killed. Taking his gun away from him I plan my attack!! Leg, Arms, Ball, stomach. Four bullets plenty more for any other intruders. The pain they put me threw is nothing compared to this torture. I hate the way they think they know me!! I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!! But they are not there anymore…so thinking its all better I shall see what’s in the daily news tomorrow!! So….see ya then.
 
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Well then this was pretty good day!!   
09:31pm 17/07/2003
 
mood: satisfied
music: I wanna believe you
Today....well...not so good.
I went to summer school...adn they told me I would fail. And I got in a argument with my teacher and she threw a text book at my head because I called her a bitch. So what else would I do but throw a chair right back!! It knocked her uncontious so I decided to play Mrs Doutfire!! And dress up like her and play teacher. So I had some of my friends which consits of two help me tie her up and place her into the closet. Well I made sure she wouldnt be able to wake up because I put some ether on a napkein and tapped it to her mouth and nose. Well then I taught class and gave the students well mostly the kids that made fun of me most some what of 10 pages of home work and my two partners in crime copy out of the book the answers. Because I would think that if they looked at them and they didnt have there work in or they had like a half a page to do then they would think or might think they were in on it too!! So anyways I did that. And then I raded her purse that bitch had $1,000 in a envelope. Something from her X husband for child support. HAHAHAHA serves you right bitch. Well then we got to thinking, Kristin and Collin. Well....she hasnt been fully punished for the crime she commeted of sleeping with the quarterback last year. So we took the yard stick and tried to see how far we could stick it up her ass. So then when a student mouths off and says "oh why dont ya stick it up your ass" she will think of my smiling face looking right at her!! muuuahahaha!! TAKE THAT BITCH!! HAHAHAHA So then I went home and we took her car of corse. And we made sure that she was still passed out with more Ether and dressed her up. Well Collin dressed her. I went to the bathroom by then. And for some reason he had only his boxers on when I came back in the room. Owell.... he told me he was just trying on the dress. Well anyways then we left. But we thought well maybe she would tell on us. So we took the gasoline from the shed for the mower and we poared it all over the calss room lit it and walked away. I heard a big explotion behind me when we were a mile away turned out that fucking Kristin turned on the pipes in the Chemistry labs. HAHAHAHA owell fuck it!! Didnt like it anyways. You know what I am thinking.....its because of me no one had to deal with going to summer school again!!

YOUR WELCOME!!
 
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Well whats new!!   
07:37pm 16/07/2003
 
mood: weird
music: disturbed remeber
Well whats new with this equation. My mom yells at me saying I am gay what the hell is that. I have one intercorse with a couple guys and then all of a suddon I am gay, so my mom yells at my dad saying"Look at your gay ass son" And he looked at me grabed a bat and stuck me right in the jaw. And now I am bleeding from the mouth. With my mom is only with my dad due to him being her pimp. And the only reason they are together is her giving him money from all the whoring around she does!! You know what I mean. And then I find out that the one disent girl in this world was harassed by her brother. And the school I go to holds people who are totally inraged with fucked up thoughts and mean to there own children. If you going to fuck with your kids then why the hell cant you keep your legsd shut!! Well then I just desided to steal the car. And its nice its a Honda. All supped up like its going somewhere. And I raced the preps down at the race track. And we raced for papers. And I lost. Although I held back because it was my fathers car and I thought the only thing he fucking cares about it his baby boo. So I got rid of it. And now what!! I bet I will get my ass kicked but owell fuck it. They shouldnt be all mean and fucking with me like they do. I am so sick and tiard of this shit. I am just....GRRRR. Fuck it. Well I guess I know where I get my violence from. My dad beats my mom like all the time, the only way my brothers get girlfriends is if he stalks them. And then my uncle is in jail for 2nd degree murder and my other Uncle in for first. Not to mention the cousins I have in there for selling drugs, and all the Grand Theft Auto. Well thats all I have for now. In fact this made me more depressed then usual!! SO FUCK THIS!!
 
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Well well well   
09:17pm 15/07/2003
 
mood: satisfied
music: the cold lonely silence
So...today wasnt that good. First a car almost hit me on the way to apply at Subway. Then I decided just let it slide after all I didnt want it to mess up my new black suit. I got these nice black pants and my hair I just dyed black with bright blue for bangs. It looks nice!! At least I think so. Well anyways.............So I go to apply and they said what....let me let me give you a second to guess. one two three four got it five six seven fuck it. They said no imployee is aloud to go and have a different hair style due to it might distract the costumer and make them order something totally bogus. And then we will have to replace it. WTF we ware hates you fucking Sub Natzi. I HATE SUBWAY BOOOOOOO GO TO HELL. So then after the dissipointment it started to rain. And I was walking home in my god damn suit which isnt cool at all!! So I stripped down to my boxers and my musel shirt. So then that was ok. So I was just walking around and some dumb ass came up and was like "So even your underware is black wow gothic people are pathetic!!" WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOST TO MEAN. Of course he was a jock for the BaseBall team. So I took the fucking bat and I decided to play dress up. Now I have a new out fit. I put my suit on him and I took his clothes. See what his mom would think of that. As the blood dripped down from the bat I heard a screem behind me. GOD DAMN BASTARDS. Fucking old people DIE ALREADY. So I just continued on my way walking in a baseball uniform. That was interesting I got to see what it was like to be on the other kids side of the fence. It was great. Thats when the great idia hit!! I WOULD SWITCH PLACES. Since the fucker was knocked out anyways, and there was a meeting at the center, I put some black eye shaddow and some eye liner and put it on his ass. Along with black lip stick!! HAHAHAHA LOOK AT YOU NOW ASS HOLE. So I continued on the path to the center where they greated me with open arms. Saying how they liked my new hair due. WHAT THE HELL?? So...its ok for a prep to have it but not a goth. When I was drinking my late not on me by the way low and behold the ass hole walks in screaming you fucking bastard you stole my clothes. And I stood up on the table and screamed out to all that were tricked.
YES IT WAS ME. BUT LOOK AT ME AND LOOK AT YOU. YOU WITH THE BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS FROM THE BEATING MY DIC PUT YOU THREW HAHAHAHA I KNOW YOUR INSIDE CONNECTIONS AND I KNOW YOUR SECRET PLAN!! NOW I WILL TAKE IT TO MY LAYER AND TELL ALL THE WORLD. GOTH UNITE!!!
And ran out of the room screeming, seems random. yes well...it is. But I showed them now look who is laughing not them they are just sitting there trying to figure out what the hell I ment. But owell. I have the same bloody bat next to my bed post and satan bible. And I will use it on anyone who dares deseat me or go agains...THE GREAT ONE!!!!
 
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Well then!!!   
11:21pm 11/07/2003
 
mood: depressed
music: WHAT?!?!?!?
Today pissed me off...well heres what went down. !! Well I got my licence so I just drove around dangerously trying to get hit. You know going on the wrong side of the road and going 80mph down the high ways. Well I was just chillin and this stupid girl fucking kept stareing at me so fuck it I ran her ass off the road. That took a while because she was all running away so I did the whole cat and mouse shit!! And sooner or later a hour later I got her!! HAHAHAHA When I got her on the side of the road. I pulled her out of the car, and stuck pencils in her eye balls. Of course this bitch had kids who were all yelling and screeming at me. So I took a thick big rock and stuck it in the pipe that comes out at the end of the car...I dont care what it is. And I sssturned on the car. Tied them down in there seats, and called the police from her cell phone, and just for kicks stayed and tried to figure out how long it took them to get there. Well there is a 9year old in the hospital, and a 5 year old in critical condition!! HAHAHAHA So I Maybe this time she wont fucking stare at people!! I tought her!! Tisk Tisk didnt your mother ever teach your ass not to stare.
Hahahaha...whats worse then ten dead babies in a trash can? One dead baby in ten trash cans!! HAHAHAHA!!
You know what I was just hanging out at starbux and the fuckin preppy people came over and tried to take my latae. So I took it and I poured it on there letter jackets. well looks like I dont have a drink but I got a nice high off of stealing there acid and watching them burn due to being sculded by my hot coffee. Well...you know I decided to take my moms car to thechop shop for more money. It could be I need to get back into the dealing bussness. And since I have all this E and acid on my hands I will be able to deal more. You will but serprized how many goths are on drugs.!!!

DIE YOU BASTARDS!!!
 
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I HATE LIFE   
03:12am 06/07/2003
 
mood: content
Man those stupid bitches wont leave me ALONE!!!!!! I am a simple normal human being who is convinced he is a alien!!!!! But other then that I am soooo happy just being in my dark corner rocking back and forth being by myself but no people have to bother my ass the whole time. I cut again. After I tried to find relief in the pickage of scabs and when that didnt work I cut a scar to cover my eye now I will be sexy when I look in the mirror. Only I cut to deep and had to go to the hospital. After the nurse stiched me up she said well I guess you wouldnt like some ice cream have a nice day!! WHATS THAT SUPPOST TO MEAN!!!!! Have a nice day!!! BLAHHHH whatever bitch. So I knocked her out and I put her in the bed and hooked her ass up to a bunch of drugs, played doctor, rapped her and left. Good thing I used my dads name otherwise they would have catched me. I should have put her ass in the dumpster like the rest of them!! You know what I am thinking I think that people really wouldnt care if I lived or died in this life I lived. So what other thing would I do while people are setting off fireworks I would ruin there whole shin dig. And I hung myself right in frount of them. Only the bastard were more scared of my eye patch then my hanging of myself and gasping for air. Some little girl thought I was a pinyata and tryed to hit me with a bat. Then the rope broke and I jumped on her and played hop scotch with her teeth. Only I went home got money went to the ABC store and totally fucked them over by buying out all there vodka. So that was cool. And I drank my ass away. Pasted out and woke up when my skinned cat jumped on my ass and tryed to pull out my stiches so i took him and threw him in the back yard. I havent seen him since. Maybe I should look for him??? Owell I guess I will find out later!!
 
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Well well well   
12:16am 05/07/2003
 
mood: high
Today I got pissed off...my cat scratched me up. And while I was washing the blood of the gashes off my arm and I found my old razor I used to use. When I was a cutter. And I got to thinking. Why did I stop? And so I did it again. I did a big upside down cross on my right arm. Its pretty I even took a picture of it and put it on my webcam site. But I dont want you demented people to see it!! I dont know what kind of weirdos are reading this shit. Well anyways so I go back down stairs to download some Rasputina and some other shit. And my cat fucking jumps on me. And that was a nasty feeling!! Not as nice as the razor glidding threw my skin. More like Salt on a open wound. Because I dont bandage it up. So I skinned my own cat!! I took the clippers and I cut his shit up...now lets see how he likes it being all naked!! I bet the neighborhood cats are making fun of him now!! HAHAHAHA!! Then I stuck him in the fridge and left.
Well people were setting off fireworks and they aimed one at me. And said "I WILL LIGHT UP YOUR DARK DAYS YA ASS HOLE" so I had to get them back. So I went o buy fire works. And by the time I got back they wernt there but I found a little girl like 7 and so I lit a sparkler and I went to give it to her and she ran away!! And I just got so pissed off I ran after her yelling you fucking bitch I was only trying to be nice. And I took the sparkler and stuck it in her hair and put another one on her arm and burned her arm. And I mean no one saw me do it but I did!! And I just hope no one presses charges I dont like jail that much!! So I ran home and locked the door. But that got boaring. I downloaded like 50 songs and left. I bought some acid from some punk at the center. And I did that. I dont know about you but its to bright for me. So I got in the shower and the fucking shit was all rainbow and shit!! IT SUCKED!! So I just poared Alcohol in my eyes and that hurt so...I went outside screaming and I noticed I steped on something and I looked back and there was the girl. And she attacked me putting a sparkler in my mouth. And then my skinned cat jumped on her. It wasnt cool. Edmagin a little girl and a naked cat on ACID!!! not cool at all!! But I got them off went in side nocked myself out with a champaine bottle and woke up like a hour ago. It wore off pretty quick!! I wish it offed me though. But there is always tomarrow!!

Worst thing about the 4th of July!!
When its dark I cnat roam the streets because everyone is outside!!! GRRRRRR!!!
 
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