Sunday, July 6th, 2008

jackrabbit30 Subject: lake Time: 5:16 pm. Mood: bouncy.

I woke up this morning around 8 am. I was laying there debating on what I was going to do. My daughter came in and laid beside me. It hit me like a tun of bricks. I asked her if she wanted to go to the lake. It was a pretty day, not to hot and no rain. She wanted to go. She wanted to go to church also but she said we can go next week. We don't have many days available to go to the lake. We piled everything in the truck and headed out. I called a friend on the way. she wanted to go. So we ran by there to pick her up along with her two girls. Well then her brother in law wanted to go. So he drove his truck with his two kids. Wow we had 7 kids going. We got there and unloaded. Milo also went with us. We all swam and played chicken fight. We had a ball. Milo didn't care to much for the water so I put him on a surf board. Now that he liked just as long as I didn't put him in the water. One thing is my friend and her BIL didn't bring food. I am so glad I brought enough. I know those kids would be starving. So next time she is bringing the food. So we all headed home about 3pm. If I went alone I would have stayed all day. But that is ok. 10-3 is enough. MAG slept all the way home. I observed some behavior things out of KC that I didn't like. so needless to say I had to have another talk with her. There was a 17 year boy that came. She was all over him. I told her harshly to get off. she knew I meant business. then she started flirting with 2 15 year old. Turns out she ended up giving her cell phone # to them. I waited till we got home to have the talk. She said oh crap another talk. I was firm with her. I told her I will refuse to sit around and watch her act like that again. if she wants to stay at home at all times then this will happen. If I can't trust her to act like a lady when I am with her then I can't trust her to act like a lady when she isn't with me. I fI hear of it or see it again I will be her worst enemy. I know she has friends but that is all these boys will be. I will send her butt to juvy in a heart beat. plus I will press charges on these boys. I mean business. She can learn from this or she can start hating me. If she starts hating me then all heck will brake lose and her life will be hell because I refuse to back down. only time will tell if my talks work. Other than that our trip went fine. Oh my MIL didn't call. Now that is unusual for her not to call with MAG is here with just me. MG must have called her and told her he is fine not to call. Because by now she would have called a million times. OR she might think it isn't best to call after the blow out. Who only knows. I am just glad she didn't because I would have had to put my foot down once again. Thank you for such a wonderful day. Now I am ending this day with a nice bath, dinner, and a good movie!!

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_ratedx_ Time: 3:39 pm.

I don't know if this feeling is a phase or not, but I fear that I have nothing interesting to say...

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jackrabbit30 Subject: livejournal Time: 7:00 pm.

do you have a livejournal.com account? if so how well do you like it

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jackrabbit30 Subject: walked Time: 6:29 pm.

I walked 3.2 miles today. I feel better since walking BUT my feet hurt. KC has been after me for a while to walk with her. she begged from the time we started if we could walk the entire 3 mile circle around out house. I hadn't planned on walking the entire circle. Well we made it half way. She started complaining she can't make it. We should call dad to come and get us. So I called. Sure enough he was going to stop playing his game and come and get us. haha. I told him no we were fine. She wanted to walk it that is what we will do. We finally made it home. I think we will walk it again tomorrow.

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jackrabbit30 Subject: cokes Time: 12:38 pm. Mood: amused.

Our grocery store had coke products on sale this weekend. My daughter was putting up all the cokes. She laid out 100 coke cans on the table. Took a picture. Then she said she was going to build a pyramid with 100 coke cans. I didn't stop her. I love the way she uses her imagination to do things. My step son doesn't know how to do this. Anyway.. she built a small one. Took a picture. then she sat and tried to figure out how to build one using all the cans. Then behold she got up and started putting the pyramid together. you could it wasn't sturdy. I took a picture really fast. she began taking down each can. Guess what?? They ALL fell. ALL 100 cans went everywhere. Well guess what else happened?? Some busted open. Coke was going everywhere!! You could see the stream going to the ceiling. MG and MAG got up and looked to see what happened. KC and I couldn't stop laughing. MG was so mad. I told him just to go back to his game and let me handle this. I laughed till I can't laugh any more. She is now in there cleaning up the mess. I didn't get mad. I thought the whole thing was funny. I asked her what did she learn out of this?? She said "Cokes will explode."

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jackrabbit30 Time: 9:57 am.

No matter how overwhelming the task in front of you, remember you have the same 24 hours as George Bush has today and Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Leonardo da Vinci and many other big producers had before. The answer may well be in how well we use those same hours using basically the same golden rules of time management like planning, prioritizing, delegating, dividing big task into smaller ones, measuring progress, etc.

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jackrabbit30 Time: 9:55 am.

Remove the stinger first by scraping it away with a dull blade, then grab an Alka-Seltzer tablet, moisten it slightly, let it fizz and apply it to the sting. The fizzing process allows both substances to travel beneath the skin providing immediate relief. Alka-Seltzer contains baking soda, which reduces inflammation and aspiring, which relieves pain.

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jackrabbit30 Time: 9:47 am.

Let's Pray Sweet Father, I pray that You will give me the discernment to hear Your voice in my life. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, please make clear to me what I need to sacrifice in order to be in Your perfect will. Thank You for Your hands of protection that cover me when I'm ministering and catch me when I'm spent. I pray You will be honored in my life as I seek to take up my cross daily and follow You. In Jesus' Name, Amen

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anonymous15 Time: 1:51 am.

Feeling as though I'm about to go crazy, I lose myself into a happy state, feeling the blood run. Then I ask myself, when will I die? This question bothers me so, why is everything so fucking hard? You provoke this dark side of me. The tears run as long as the blood does. Once dried it begins to turn brown upon my skin, and my eyes burn like acid. My veins run cold, and my eyes empty. Lifeless to those who find me. I can see you standing there, I'm not dead yet. I know everything that's going on, I'm in my final state now. Once my eyes close it's over. Scream for me! Say that you want me! Say that you love me! SAVE ME!!! Everything is begging to fade, take my hand now. I'm screaming in my head for you to not let go, for I will die without you. I'm so broken, you're my strength. Pick me up again, and I promise not to fail again. To close this time, to deep. To loud is my heart beat in my ears from fear. I'm truly sorry for all the stupid shit I've done. It's getting cold now, your hand is so warm touching mine. Please, dont cry. I really did try. I'm sorry, I love you!

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gabyxx Time: 4:33 pm. Music: Love song-The Cure.

What ever words I say I will always love you.

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jackrabbit30 Subject: mad Time: 1:22 pm. Mood: pissed off.

my SIL called and asked how to do something on windows media. She was trying to put music on Morgan's mp3 player. Well the mp3 player he has is different. so I headed over to explain how to do it. Well her music from Limewire wasn't going to her media player. I worked on it. Anyway I got passed that part, letting her know I don't know why it won't BUT if we do it this way then we can download music to his mp3. she had to do it this different way in order to work anyway. Well this is what Morgan said. His grandmother won't let him bring the mp3 to my house (where the file is on my computer and I know how to download music on his mp3) because I WAS the one that broke the first one. He said he told her I wasn't the one that broke it. It was the volume control that wouldn't work any more. Not the music. I was so mad. For her to tell a 9 year child that I broke something of his was a lie. To talk to Morgan as if I was a dog made me so mad. I got up and told Stacie I wasn't able to do anything. If Jennie thinks I broke the first one then I shouldn't be touching this one. I got home and told MG that I was mad and what was said. Well he said for me to tell Jennie. Call her and tell her. Don't wait for her to call me. So that is exactly what I did. I was nervous. My hands were shaking. My heart was pounding. When she picked up the phone I told her she hurt my feelings by telling a 9 year old child that I broke his mp3 when it was a lie. She said she didn't say that. Morgan' Lied. She hung up on me. I called right back. I told her I went over Stacie's house to download music and show her how but something wasn't working on the limewire part. But since she told that lie and won't let Morgan bring the mp3 here now he doesn't have any music. And she hurt my feelings telling her grandchild a lie about me. She was wrong. I hung up on her. I didn't want to hear her explanations. I didn't want to hear her mouth at all. My hands were shaking so bad that I couldn't even open a gallon of milk. Then Marty said what did she say. Like he really cared what she said. I told him what exactly was said. I also told him it isn't right for her to talk about me and put kids in the middle. If she hates me that is fine. I don't care but don't put kids in the middle. Kelsey said Mom it will be ok. I told her I know it will be ok. Because now she knows she can't just talk about me the way she does to you kids and get away with it. I really really can't stand that woman. It is about time I stood up for myself. No need of waiting on others to do my dirty work. She will know for now on that I won't be talk about like that and I won't be run over.

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gabyxx Time: 12:55 pm.

Stars are like people. Just because they appear to emerge from the same point doesn't mean they do. This is an illusion of perspective created by distance. Not all families manage to hold it together, everyone moves in different directions. That we all emerge from the same point is a misconception, to travel in different directions is the very nature of every being and every existing thing.

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jackrabbit30 Subject: cord Time: 6:52 am.

Ok the cord I spoke about earlier. Well it didn't work worth a flip. I guess because it is an old cord. So last night while I was at walmart I bought a small speaker box for the same price of a cord. Now this morning when I plug my mp3 into it, it turns out one of the speakers doesn't work. So now I have to take it back tonight when I head down the mountain. I really hate when that happens. I hate taking anything back. But I will this because I won't both speakers to work

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jackrabbit30 Subject: today Time: 6:51 am. Mood: cheerful.

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!

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jackrabbit30 Subject: kc Time: 3:47 pm.

Kc is going throught this stage of really wanting privacy. she gets aggravated when i ask her what she is doing. she is taking attention to herself more. this is all good but I feel as though she is pulling away from me. I guess this has to happen but I don't have to like it. She is all i have. She is my only child.

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jackrabbit30 Subject: COLORED Time: 3:45 pm.

I have colored my hair. It looks good. I don't have time to fix it right now but when I do I will post on myspace and flickr.

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forgivemyscars Time: 10:20 am.

You never tell the last of a dying breed, "I told you so".

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forgivemyscars Time: 10:20 am.

You never tell the last of a dying breed, "I told you so".

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jackrabbit30 Subject: Good Morning Time: 8:25 am. Mood: awake.

I just rose for the day. The past few nights I have slept so well. Kind of like snug in a rug!! I love those nights. Today I plan on cleaning my office and working on school work then going to work tonight.

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noxassociationx Time: 12:53 am. Mood: content.

i saw msi with phil tonight, got knocked in the back of the head and got to meet jimmy urine. fun! he and his wife are cute (she came onstage to sing with him during one song). and of course, lyn-z was gorgeous, although i didn't get to see much of her since i was on the other side of the crowd. i only need $35 more for my camera. i think i'll be getting it next week! :) bedtime now. today was grand.

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anonymous15 Time: 11:51 pm. Mood: depressed.

There's nothing wrong with my life but yet I seem to be upset. I don't know if it's because I think of the past or not, but it's good for me now. WHy do I still feel this saddness that is still so strong inside of me. My past comes to haunt me all the time. It'll just hit me one day, or I'll just be reminded of it somehow. It's like sometimes I feel as though i have to bleed in order to know that I'm alive, to know that it's real. Just to know that everything that's around me is reality, and not only a dream. A pinch will not due.

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jackrabbit30 Subject: ok Time: 6:24 pm.

I have been at this computer enough today. I have found my topic for my power point presentation and checked my emails and now my neck is hurting so it is time to pull away till tomorrow. I feel like I have accomplished something today. I got my house cleaned and worked on my school work, wrote a pen pal back and now going to watch a movie. Good day for me.

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noxassociationx Subject: shopaholic. Time: 5:23 pm. Mood: excited.

i love how good buying a cute new dress feels. msi tonight! i shall be leaving shortly. :)...i really don't want to stand through julien-k and the birthday massacre, but whatever. i'm very thirsty.

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jackrabbit30 Subject: money Time: 4:00 pm.

Ok now get this....I didn't work last weekend. So we are out $192. My money buys the grocery. Ok well my husband got paid his long week. Yes 250 went into the bank to pay the bills. He has $120 left. guess what? We have barely anything to eat. I asked him early what does he want me to go to town to pick up to eat (at the grocery store) he said he had no money. He had 100 to pay for a hood for his fucking car and only 20 let for the rest of the week. Well what the heck are we going to eat till then? that makes me so mad

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jackrabbit30 Subject: outside Time: 3:48 pm.

i just sat outside to write a letter. I only wrote front and back of one page and I got to hot. I should have moved to the shade but just decided to come inside and finish writing.

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jackrabbit30 Subject: wonder Time: 2:35 pm.

if anyone out there knows anything about getting paid to blog? and if so how does it work

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jackrabbit30 Subject: kids Time: 10:08 am.

How long are my kids going to sleep. It is 1010 right now and they are still soundly sleeping.

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jackrabbit30 Subject: cord Time: 9:36 am.

I am tickled pink. I found a cord to go to my little speaker box that connects to my mp3 player. I was borrowing the kids when they weren't using it. That didn't go over to well with them. they always had to hunt what I did with it. well now we all three have one!! At least this is the first positive thing that has happened today. I know I still have most of the day to go (it is 930am) but I have already had two negative things to happen. So I need two more positive so I will have more positive than negative.

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jackrabbit30 Subject: Miss Peggy Time: 9:08 am.

I am cleaning out the front porch. Something I didn't intend on doing today but I am. I came across a Miss Peggy doll. I was throwing away a lot of toys and junk that was out there but I just can't seem to toss Miss Peggy in the trash or in the give away pile. I just can't. I love Miss Peggy when I was growing up. I thought she was the grandest thing. I love the way she took pride in who she was. My daughter reminds me a lot of Miss Peggy. No she isn't fat and all but just the way she acts. she always has pride in herself. So now the question is since I can't put her in either pile where will I put here??

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jackrabbit30 Subject: this morning Time: 8:50 am.

I woke up this morning and went to see what my husband was doing. I found him where i always find him, playing his game. I asked what happened last night. I know I fell asleep but I fell asleep with the tv on and the lights on so he would know to wake me up. We had been talking all day about having another session like we did the night before. His reply was "I was mad." I asked why. "He wanted tea last night and there was none. I wouldn't get up and make any. Kelsey wouldn't make any either." I just walked out of the room. I can't believe he wouldn't make love to me because I didn't make him any tea. Sometimes I wonder why I am even here.

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noxassociationx Subject: what happened to us? Time: 9:26 am. Mood: sad.

i try to be there for people and they don't take me up on my offer, i guess. i don't know what's wrong with me that they don't want to. i don't know....maybe it's weird because i'm one to talk about all my feelings and problems and they don't? i just wish i could be their best friends again. i miss it. i miss them. i just want honesty. fuck going to the insurance job today. i'm tired and now i probably won't be able to get back to sleep. i loved wall-e. :)

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cauterized_li Subject: I never Earned the Truth Time: 10:14 pm.

The question: does it matter? The answer: does it matter? . . . I keep ringing through my mind the same pointless argument. What if it happened? What would I do about it? What COULD I do about it? is it just the truth Im looking for that single one solitary instant of release. All this time is it womans intuition or is it just being mangled with insecurity. All this time has gone by and still I wonder. Countless nights I lie awake wondering if I was ever right...

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jackrabbit30 Subject: shower Time: 8:13 pm.

Tonight was the first time I sang in the shower in a very long time. The hot water felt so good and I felt good inside. I need to do that more often. I also asked anyone if they want to see me naked!! No one did. Bummers!!

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jackrabbit30 Time: 3:54 pm.

I am all alone. Today I am not horny. I look all around my house and see it needs a good cleaning but I just don't want to get off my butt and do it. I like the peace and quiet. So I believe I will take this time and catch up on some of my writings.

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jackrabbit30 Subject: dogs Time: 3:53 pm.

Milo just jumped in my lap. I had forgotten I sprayed him with flea spray and now it is all over my hand. Now I have to get up and go wash my hands

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jackrabbit30 Subject: relieved Time: 7:28 am.

I feel so much relief this morning. I had a full day of cumming and I needed it so much. Last night my husband surprised me and I loved that the most. I needed that the most also. One thing I don't understand and will have to look up to see what it going on is my husband can get a hard on in a blink of an eye. that isn't the problem. the problem is sometimes he can't cum. It frustrates him. I wonder if it has something to do with his age or what. We have been working on this but there really isn't much else we could do. He won't go to the doctor to talk about his dick problems. I guess most men are that way. But I hate seeing him like this.

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jackrabbit30 Subject: puppies Time: 7:24 am.

Sassy ended up only having two puppies last night. They are doing fine. they are little fat butterballs. I posted pictures on my flickr account if you would like to see them or myspace.

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jackrabbit30 Subject: puppies Time: 8:29 pm.

Sassy has had two puppies so far. they both look like boston terriers. I am wondering if Milo fathered any???!!! I think she has one perhaps two more. But I am for sure one more inside. so only time will tell.

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