10:48am 10/05/2005
 
mood: blah
Dear Kayla,

Sorry I broke your heart		  
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its melodramatic, i know   
07:28pm 10/05/2005
  Dear You-

Everything I see or hear or touch or smell or taste brings back some memory of you. A part of you is in everything I know and every experience I have. You are all around me, I can't stop thinking about you, you're all I think about all day. You're both my first and last thought of the day, and every thought between. I try to ignore all of the signs that I am not over you, I lie to myself and the rest of the world when I pretend that you are only my friend. None of them understand what it is like, no one does. They may say that they understand but they don't, there is no way that they could. They didn't experience the things I experienced with you, they didn't hear the things you spoke to me or feel the way you touched me or understand that the beating of our hearts were in perfect sinc as we layed together. They didn't experience you the way that I did. They don't know all the things about you that I fell in love with and that I miss desprately. I miss everything about you, even all the things about you that I hated, my heart longs for now. It hurts so bad to know that deep down I have overwhelming feelings for you still, but you stopped feeling anything for me long ago. It breaks my heart to know that all the things I feel for you, you feel for her, to know all the things you said to me you are now saying to her, all things you made me feel you're making her feel, all the ways you embraced me you're now embracing her, everything you gave to me you're now giving to her. it tares me apart to know that she doesn't feel the way i did about you, that all the things you do for her will never mean as much to her, and yet, you would still rather do them for her.		  
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  dearyou_
 
 
days