Hello. Goodbye.   
07:15pm 10/02/2005
 
mood: blank
Dear you,
I see you in the hall way everyday with your blonde hair and your green eyes. You never even seem to notice me, and even if you do, you never even look at me. On the ride home from school I sit and think of all those happy couples in the hall ways in school and I wonder why we can’t be like that. You never cease to amaze me... When I get home there is always a message from you on my answering machine. You’re secretive whisper is always telling me to return your call as soon as I hear the message. I never do call you back anymore.
You send me emails asking me why I act like this. Why do you ask why I act like this? You’re the one who always wants to cover things up. You always make it seem like it’s my fault that you don’t want people to know about us. It’s okay for us to be together when we’re in my room, or your room, or someplace private but never anyplace where you could ever be seen by your egotistical friends.
One of these days I’m just going to tell you why I don’t return your calls, but until then you’ll never understand how I feel when I listen to your messages and read your emails. When I listen to your secretive voice I wonder, once again, why you ignore me in public but you can never seem to get enough of me when we’re alone. I remember one time you said it was because you didn’t want your parents to know about us. I don’t see why your parents shouldn’t know. My sister knows, and my friends know about our relationship, so why can’t anyone else? Why are you so ashamed of me? What is so bad about ‘us’ that you can’t even tell your supposed friends?
I remember when we first met at a party and the next day everyone was talking about us. In the back of my mind there are the exact words you said to them. When they asked you about what happened between us. You told them you were drunk, when really you weren’t even close to being drunk. It’s so hard for me to fight the urge of walking up to you at lunch in front of all your conceited football playing and cheerleading friends and ruining your reputation. All I want to do is just tell you that I’ll see you later or that you left something at my house. Or maybe even just bump into you and tell you that I love you. But you would never stand for that. For all of this, I’m saying goodbye and saving you the embarrassment of everyone knowing about me, your dirty little secret.

<3Me		  
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