11:20pm 27/12/2004
 
mood: blah
dear you,

wow. you confuse me so much. i just dont understand. who are you? what have you turned in to? its like, i dont even know who you are at all! you dont care about me, or our friendship, and all ive ever done is care. ive waited for you for so long to come out of your phase of being an asshole. but i dont know anymore, is that just who you are? i mean, today, you wouldnt even look at me. maybe thats all i want, is attention from you, but, is that such a bad thing? in fact, i think thats all ive ever wanted from you...just..attention. i wanted you, to call me, just to talk. i wanted you to tell me..just once..that you thought i looked pretty. maybe, i just wanted you to treat me the way you treated the other girls. i mean, its never been that i liked you, so, this is my fault of just wanting you to like me for attentiong, which is bad. but, a part of me has always wanted to know that you would pick me over her. and i always wondered why you did the things you did with her. im so lost. im tired of waiting. and im tired of being hurt. but my problem is..is that i still consider you a friend..and love you as a brother. and i cant stop. i dont want to care about you...trust me..it would make things so much easier. ive told you so many times that i care about you, and its never been reciprocated. i just want to know that someday, you will care. but i dont know if thats ever going to happen. a huge part of me wants to give up. say screw you, and move on. but i cant. i cant move on from you. and thats the worst part, i will always care about you. always. after everytime that you treat me worse than you should, i will forgive you. i dont know if thats good..or bad. all i know..is that i desperately want you to care...even tho a part of me knows that you never will..

-the girl you used to know..		  
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  dearyou_
 
 
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