this one will be given to its subject.   
07:16am 16/12/2004
  Tu as mon coeur et que tu dois savoir. C’est la seule vérité de ma vie. Savez cela.
If I drown myself in the warmth I once knew of you, I begin to remember what my heart once felt like, the good and bad hitting my heavy shoulders like a wind trying to tell me something. And in this I grow again to take in a comforting consideration for you. I want to protect you from the cold in the air, but I know I cannot be your shield. I know there lives a fool in my stomach. It makes me nauseous to think of walking away, never knowing if you are alright or soon to find the peace I wish so badly that you could have. I suppose the only thing I can leave you with is what I think I know, the only thing I have been most sure of in my whole life, in all my possible disillusionment-although I may be happy now in my own ways that so few understand, I am certain you are the only one who ever made my eyes light up with true love, a thing I hardly think of in a day’s time. Love in such a respect has not been relevant to my life in years. I am fully content with that; I know not many are meant to see these paths and footprints as I do, and I’ve grown to accept and appreciate this as my solitude. But you gave me a gift no one else ever has and I need you to know that I am eternally grateful for what was so ephemeral in our hands. No one has ever so strongly attracted my attention or felt so perfect in my arms. I need you to feel special for being the only one who may ever have shown me the world in a small town, the beauty of when addition and subtraction become one and the same. I try to take as little for granted as possible and that is why, for the last time, I am letting you know this. You have been a beautiful and captivating creature in my eyes and I take much flattery in knowing you would ever choose me to obsess over. I hope I have given you the words you deserve by my discretion. I take no interest in pursuing anything better than the magick we knew. I’m leaving it right where it is. Thank you for letting me wear the slippers of your princess.

  
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Dear You   
12:21pm 16/12/2004
 
mood: contemplative
music: Relient K- I So Hate Consequences
It's a saying that's been made into AIM and online journal icons. A staple quote. And right now, even though I find it slightly cheesy (oh, how I hate cheese), I find it most appropriate. "Life used to be so much easier when boys had cooties and our clothes didn't have to match."

All of a sudden, my love life has gone from a triangle to an octagon. It's bothering me.

I wish it were simpler; like back in the day, when *you* were there, and you used to say, "Hey, save me the last dance, ok?"

But now it's not. I'm torn between those I love, and those who love me.

Sincerely,
The Girl Whose Middle Name Is Complication		  
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  dearyou_
 
 
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