A letter to the girlfriend of the man i love   
11:22pm 13/12/2004
 
mood: angry
music: Forget december, SoCo
Dear You,
I’d just wanted to write you this letter to let you know, that I’m really sorry. I’m really sorry that I’m not sorry at all. I feel really bad that I don’t feel bad. I just wanted to let you know that I know you love him. I wanted to let you know, that I understand that you will always- always see me as a bitch. I wanted you to know, that it’s ok with me that I need to be a villain in your world.

First time syndrome has many symptoms, and I know that hating me is one of yours. But, I guess I should admitt to you, that its not just first time syndrome, you’re right. I’m sure I’ve got a reputation back there. I’m sure people talk about how close I was to him. I’m sure they talk about what happened between me and.. so many guys. I’m sure I’ve been branded as the kind of girl that would sleep with your guy. And I probably deserve that reputation. I also know, that as a girl, you can tell I want him. You’ve never even met me, but you can tell what’s between us. You’ve seen my picture, heard us talk on the phone. And you can tell. Female instinct.

There is something, however that I’m sure no one says about me. Something I’m sure you don’t know. I don’t want him. I love him. I’ve loved him for years. And, now, he’s with you. I bet no one mentions how we almost went out once. I’ll bet you didn’t know, I’d be surprised if he talks about it. Did you know he has the rock I taped to his Christmas card years ago? I bet you didn’t know that. I don’t think anyone talks about my heart getting broken, just how many hearts I’ve broke. How many guys I’ve made be unfaithful, how many guys I dumped. I’m a heartbreaker. I’m a high maintenance, man stealing, heartbreaker. But what no one knows is, its really just because, I don’t want any of those guys. Not really. I’ve never really been in love. Not with a boyfriend. I’ve never felt about anyone, the way I feel about him.

So you see, in my world, you are the villain. In my world, he and I are soul mates. In my world, we are destined to live happily ever after, because the THOUGHT of him makes me happier, then actually being with anyone else ever has. So you are stealing him from me. You are breaking my heart. You are interrupting my fairytale. One of us, is wrong, hell, maybe both of us are wrong. Maybe he won’t end up with either of us. But I was just wondering, if maybe for a second, you could try to see things from my side. Then, please go back to hating me. Please call me a bitch and talk about me to your friends. Tell him you don’t want him to see me. I understand, I really do. You love him. But, do you think, once in a while, you could remember, that I love him too?		  
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  dearyou_
 
 
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