Date:	2003-04-19 23:30
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	busy
Music:	Iced Earth - Wolf

I don't know what to do right now...I told Kat that I was thinking about going out with Holly because I thought that she didn't have feelings for me anymore, at least none that were more than a friend. I always have since a couple days after I met her. My feelings for her weren't all that strong, but as time went on, the feelings that I had for her just seemed to grow and never stop. Recently, they have become so strong, that they don't seem that they can be broken. That's why I want to go out with Holly, to get my mind off Kat. If I keep thinking about her, I am gonna be back to where I started, dreaming about something that I could never have. Ever. Plus she made me promise her that before I would go out with her ever, if I ever broke up with Alex, which I have recently, that unless I acomplished those things, I couldn't go out with her. She told me today that she loves me. A part of me thinks that this is all just a dream that Kat doesn't really love me, not after all the pain I put her through. The other part of me is very happy that she loves me and wants to take advantage of this moment and go to her house, ask her out, and if she says yes, start makin out with her on her couch.

I don't know what to do. If I ask Holly, than I would lose my last chance to go out with Kat. I have been waiting for this moment since about December of 2002 (year just for future referance and new readers). If I asked out Kat, than it would seem that when Kat and I broke up and than started going after Holly, it would seem that Holly would be second best. Damnit, I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. Well, kinda. I would just be taking a guess at if Holly actually likes me or not. Just cuz she got Molly to stop glomping me for a bit doesn't mean much. Both of them are very very beautiful. If it were my choice, I would go out with both of them and than have a wild orgy. Ah well.

In other news that does not involve my love life, my relatives came over for my sisters birthday party when her birthday was about 2 weeks ago. My aunt came up to my room to take a look at my lights (black lights and 2 electric funky lights) and she was wondering how I got out of bed in the morning. I told her that I push my chair closer to my table and pick my TV up off the floor. I really don't. I am just very well coordinated durring the morning hours. Its later in the day when I cant move.

Well, I am gonna go offline for the night. I will decide who I want tomarrow, and I will post my decision.

Date:	2003-04-16 19:17
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired
Music:	Fake Wings - .hack//sign

i am so bored right now. i am really tired too. i challenged colline to a duel today. i hope my deck is good enough....i'm not much of a deck builder, but if i am the one in control of the cards, i can win....at least i hope i do and than i get my ass whipped, quite badly for that fact. i hope my mom doesn't make me go to martial arts class tonight. i feel wasted as it is, i dont wanna drain myself even further. i guess it is because of the lack of rest. but i dont exactly want the rest. the more i stay awake, the more i can get done. the more i can get done, the further i will project myself for the future and the less work i have to do than and the more sleep i can get....bad idea isn't it. i dont really care. i dont care about much of anything right now. i just feel like typing away in some html file or trying to get my computer to install apache right and get it to be a smart computer, instead of a jackass computer. this song is soothing though, Fake Wings - .hack//sign - Yuki Kajiura. Aura's Song is soothing too. the evil version kicks ass though. woot.

i cleaned out my locker today after school and i found my calculator, my headphones (that work.....kinda) and both of my CD players. i am gonna do all the science homework that was assigned yesterday, today and tomarrow and get the social studies homework that isnt going to be assigned until tomarrow, that way i can just sit back and do nothing durring the classes when they tell me to work. but i hate science though. the teacher can't grade tests right. he keeps messing up and almost everyone is finding a point missing. because of the last test, when he said we all cant keep track of our mistakes, he said he wont relook at the tests. so i am gonna go to him after school and see if i cant find out where my mistakes were.

my dad just told me i have to go to martial arts class....i dont want to. its sparring and i dont feel like sparring right now. i want to rest, but i cant rest. i have to work on stuff. stuff that needs to get done. if i dont get it done, i am gonna fail in life. if i fail in life i am screwed. if i am screwed, i am no longer a virgin. if i am no longer a virgin, i could get pregnant (i really cant since i am male, but just go with it). if i get pregnant i have to have a kid. if i have a kid i have to raise that kid. if i have to raise that kid i have to get a job. if i have to get a job i need to get work done and the cycle repeats over and over again.

Date:	2003-04-15 22:22
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	awake
Music:	computer humming, parental coughing and a TV

Oh the bordom strikes once again. I drank a 2 litter of Mountain Dew tonight and I am *WIDE* awake. I am not sure if I am going to get any sleep at all tonight with the sugar rush that I am having. Sugar rushes don't effect me like they do most people. The rush usually just keeps me awake for hours on end while everyone sleeps. Molly went to go watch Trigun so I am stuck here all alone for a half hour. I figure as long as I am up, I might as well make some use of it, so I am gonna go do some computer hacking stuff or maybe fix up my own computer while I wait for Molly to come back, or I could find a nice text-based strategy game from Multiplayer Online Game Domain (MPOGD). I have gotten....oh....4 good games out of it, than again, I dont look very hard. I will type later, maybe just before I go to sleep, if I remember.

Date:	2003-04-15 06:39
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	sleepy
Music:	In The End - Linkin Park

Whoa....damn....I am sleepy and I hurt. In place of going to martial arts class last night, I did 100 sit-ups and 50 push-ups last night while I was talking to Li. Than I couldn't sleep after Li had gone offline so I decided to do another 100 sit-ups and another 50 push-ups. A grand total of 200 sit-ups and 100 push-ups. If I that every night, I should be able to get a nice strong stomach. 6 pack! Ha ha, that's a great one. I crack myself up. A lazy bum like me havina 6 pack. But I should keep up my sit-ups at least to stengthen my abs for my 540s and other tricks. The Cheat 720 is pretty easy. Just gotta do the 540 spin with no kick, land on the ground on 1 leg, keep spinning for another 180 degrees and than kick. Joe is trying to perfect what is called a Jackknife. Its where you do a 540 kick, land and do another kick right away. Now that I have been doing 540s and stuff, doing just the 180 kick has been kinda hard. Cuz to do the 540, you do the 180, but land on the same leg you kick with and face backwards. I can do the kick, get a nice spin, nice air, but I just can't land.

I would like to thank Li for making me that great Icon of Vincent. *glomps her* THANKS LI!!!! *flails as he runs off*

Date:	2003-04-13 21:06
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	sad
Music:	Superman - Goldfinger

I am depressed cuz I broke up with Alex, but my best friends are gonna cheer me up. later!

Damn I am tired today. Each of my classes just seemed to drag on and on. My spanish teacher was gone today (HURRAY!) and so we had a sub. She knows french and no spanish. She kept asking us what everything ment. Sparring class was a bitch tonight. There was a total of 3 people in class when there are usually like 6 to 10. 3 people damnit! >< It was a killer workout. 3 minutes fighting, 1 minute rest. Throw in a bit of grappling and diving at your opponant head first going off any and all energy you can derive from 1 can of Pepsi and 1 can of Cherry Coke is like trying to go to the moon in a paper airplain. Sleepless nights can be a bitch. Max came over today and he gave me Pulp Fiction (R) and GTA III (Grand Theft Auto 3 (M)(PS2)). Dinner was quick than durring the middle of it Z and Alisa got bored so they came to my house wondering if I could do something and I told them I would meet them up at the park in like 10 minutes. ooh, which reminds me, I need to go throw Max's clothes in my backpack. I think I will go do that and than go to sleep. Hopefully I can get some rest... *falls asleep before even getting out of his chair*

Quote from Saiyuki: Shut your mouth and move your ass.

Date:	2003-04-08 21:20
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	bored
Music:	Out from Under - Incubus

I am so bored right now. I downloaded Appache for my computer, but before I install it and configure it and than go after the PHP software, I am gonna have to burn about 5 CDs worth of crap off my hard drive so it will run faster. I should probably just burn everything to disks and reformat my computer...but I dunno. I got MySQL working though. If I keep learning about those 3 things, I should be able to become part of the Sadmins. I dunno if Menssen will want another person in school to take care of everything. That might be up to Justin too...I dont have the faintest clue what so ever. Ya know, the more I think about it, the more I realize that I am quite different from most of my friends...I am the only person that I know out of my good friends that knows a lot about computers...but I really don't know anything. I just guess at things and they work...so yeah. You could call that hacking...if you want. You could also call it Dumb Luck. That's what I call it. Dumb Luck. I was remembering some stuff from Saiyuki today durring computer club (yes....i am that pathetic) when I was talking to my friend. Me and Colline were gonna go over to the Y, but she wouldn't stop talking at her locker. We just stood there. Finally, I quoted Saiyuki and said, "Shut your mouth and move your ass." and I pointed to the door and we left, while she was cracking up. After I realized that I quoted Saiyuki, I cracked up too. I really have no life. I sit at my computer all afternoon and most of the night doing things online, like this journal and learning coding and crap like MySQL and PHP. I taught myself HTML. I attempted PERL and CGI, but those failed because I need a Unix server...and I kind of don't have access to one of those right now. Damn my need for a hard drive. If i had a second hard drive for my other computer I would make that computer into a Unix server. That would meet my needs perfectly. I could host my own site without worring about space, bandwith and banners, plus I could have a Unix server to mess around with. If only I had about 300 dollars.... Ah well. I better get going. I need sleep.

Date:	2003-04-07 22:07
Subject:	Entry 1
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired
Music:	Superman - Goldfinger

Hurray! I got a blurty. According to Li, it's better than a DJ, but I dont know yet. I kinda looks like the same thing...only brighter. It's kinda scary. I dont like bright colors, and pastels really scare me. Clowns are really bad cuz they are full of color. Ah well. I will post both here AND there. But I am really tired right now. Ah well. My martial arts instructor pushed our arms really hard tonight, so when I first sat down at my computer, my arms were really wiggly and I couldn't keep them still. Now they are better. I was talking about hacking and phreaking to my friend Steve, who is also one of my martial arts intructors. I am gonna stick to the code, so I am not gonna tell you much, but it sounds kind of fun. ^_^ The .txt files that I read are kinda funny. Especially this one phreakers story. It's awesome what he did. If any of you are interested of becoming a phreaker/hacker, the most important thing is hacker/phreaker does not damage anything in the system. The point of hacking/phreaking is to learn more about things, not to search and destroy.