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[03 Aug 2004|09:06pm] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
] |
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music |
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happy ending-avril lavigne |
] |
its funny i used to think the only reason i wrote in blurty was so nobody cud read it bc nobody ever reads my blurty. then i came to the conclusion that nobody really reads any of my journals. i never get any comments on journals so its quite pointless.
i wish somebody would murder me then dispose of my body so nobody would find my body and i would be forgotton haha. thatd be cool.
when i got back from funhouse i never noticed how alone i was. watching ppl on ddr with their friends. i hate alot of people.. specially around ddr because it makes me feel stupid and weak bc they have friends and are so much better than me.
ill probably take up cutting tonight.
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[31 Jul 2004|12:27am] |
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mood |
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 numb |
] |
ive never been so convienced that death is the best and only alternative.
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[29 Jul 2004|11:51pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
] |
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music |
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the sun still sleeps-underoath |
] |
old habits are hard to break. my life is in my hands.
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[25 Jul 2004|02:55am] |
dont listen to her listen to me
just look at your smile and youll see
a beautiful girl whos got something going on
i think im fallin i know im not wrong
when you touch me im on fire
i can't put a price on this feeling, this desire
and when im with you i can't stop and think
how a girl so amazing as you could sink
let me lift up your chin and sooth your pains
ill always be here to heal them, not like the same
im different i care
i want you to be happy and not bare
all the punches life throws at you
ill stand and take them even when i turn blue
so let me hold your hand and never doubt
your one girl i could never live without
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| sun-dried kisses. |
[21 Jun 2004|06:22am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Shine We Are"-BoA |
] |
its 6:20am.
havn't slept.
im topless.
just dyed my hair dark brown.
its rocken.
yeah.
gonna go for a stroll in the park.
the sky looks so beautiful.
cheers!
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[14 Jun 2004|12:50am] |
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mood |
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 thankful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Let It Burn"-Usher *<3* |
] |
*smiles happily*
ive had about the shittist day but thanks to leash. its okay now.
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| isn't it ironic? dontcha think? |
[06 Jun 2004|11:43pm] |
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mood |
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 curious |
] |
| [ |
music |
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'Lover I Don't Have To Lover'-Bright EYes |
] |
You are "When the Curious Girl Realizes She is
Under Glass". You like thoughts of being
with loved ones and being devoted. You tend to
be selfish, but in an artistic way, or at least
you claim it is for art. Oh yeah, and pills are
very good friends of yours. (or they should
be.)
Which BRIGHT EYES song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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[05 Jun 2004|03:37am] |
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mood |
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 horny |
] |
being horny sucks!
and dude.
dont even act like you've never been horny. now come on. really.
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[27 May 2004|10:10pm] |
STOLEN FROM
*5 things you are wearing*
1. pants
2. bubble cafe' work t-shirt
3. 17 bracelettes
4. black star choker
5. makeup?
*5 things you can see*
1. computer screen
2. fingers typing
3. my fat ass
4. alcohol bottle
5. pills
*5 things you are doing right now*
1. typing.
2. talking to ashie, keli and nikki
3. picking my nails
4. contemplating stuff
5. depressed
*5 things you ate in the last 24 hours*
1. a sandwich
2. cookie
3. diet cafeeneeee free coke
4.
5.
*5 things you did so far today*
1. slept
2. worked
3. ate
4. got on the computer.
5. fought with mom
*5 things you can hear right now*
1. me scratching my head
2. ac
3. typing
4.
5.
*5 colors you can see*
1. off white
2. blue
3. gray
4. white
5. orange
*5 thoughts in your head*
1. snorting
2. cutting
3. drinking
4. leash
5. dying
*10 people who need to eat shit*
1. thomas
2. me
3. my mom
4. my dad
5. My brother
6. me
7. pizza
8. me
9. brett
10. wallace
*10 people that rock your socks*
1. ashley
2. leash
3. anna
4. karen
5. keli
6. anybody who reads my forsaken blurty
7. james
8. justin
9. andrew
10. duncan
*10 things you would like to do in your lifetime*
1. live with andrew
2. go on a road trip with ashley trem and never come back to oklahoma. :)
3. BE happy.
4. BE gay. no just kidding.
5. be a black belt in tae kwon-do. :)
6. kick someones ass
7. try coke and have nobody be on my ass on me for saying how im gonna die or whatever the fuck
8. have some money to buy everything i want and still help people with it
9. i wish upon a star i could be everything i ever dreamed of(pretty,skinny,superficial stuff)
10. most of all i just want to be loved
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[27 May 2004|01:10am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"My Last Breath"-Evanesence |
] |
im starting to like blurty now. why because thomas doesn't know about it. i just think i should really keep my mouth shut. then everybody would be alot happier. you know why? because im a fuck up. mhm. yep. fuck. up. to the tenth degree. i really hope somebody happens to rob some store and acidently shoot me in the head. oh oh what a tragety it is. *sarcastic whimsful gasp* 0.0
but in real life everybody would have been. heh. yey. *lowers head a bit* i just noticed something.
once you finally found something and your so happy its yours and it comes out of your grasp so quickly and when it comes out of your grasp..it falls into the hands of somebody else..almost..stealing your happiness. and just knowing..that you can't ever be that something that has taken your place. you think about it and your weighing whos fault it is. and it always turns out to be your own. that my friend is when you truely know you are a fuck up.
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| YA UR TOUCHIN MMMMMMMMMMMEEEEE!!!!!! |
[24 May 2004|02:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"I believe in a thing called love"-Darkness |
] |
ashley trem is the coolest cat around. WORD!
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[23 May 2004|08:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 aggravated |
] |
yeah thats right fuck . my mom gets home and right when i get right when i put on my shoes i get the car keys and she goes u can't go out and i go uh why and shes like well theres a big thunderstorm coming in. WELL FUCK ME IVE BEEN WAITING SINCE FUCKING JANUARY TO DRIVE BY MY FREAKING SELF AND A FUCKING THUNDERSTORM ISN'T GONNA GET IN MY FUCKING WAY OH WAIT WHY DONT U JUST GO SUCK ON A TURKEYS COCK SO YOU CAN BE HAPPY LIKE THE REST OF THE GOD DAMN EVERYBODY IN THIS WORLD FUCKING. I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU. YOU KNOW WHAT MY BROTHER IS A FUCKING FAT ASS OH THE WORLD IS JUST SOO PRETTY AND HAPPY AND LOOK HARUKBABECHAN JUSS SIGNED ON BUT NO DO ANY OF MY FRIENDS SIGN ON ON WAIT NO BECAUSE THYE ARE ALL OUT DOING DRUGS HAVING SEX AND HAVING FUN WITHOUTME THATS WHY AND ALL I HAVE IS THIS STUPID WELBUTRIN WELL IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT WHEN U SNORT IT AND IM JUST A FUCKING ASSHOLE. FUCK ME FUCK THIS IM GOING DRIVE SCREW MY FAMILY IMU FCUKING GOING THATS IT. DAMNIT, GOODBYE/
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| it burns a hole in everyone who feels it.. |
[17 May 2004|11:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 thoughtful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Blue and Yellow"-The Used |
] |
i forgot how wonderful this song was. it reminds me of good times with karen and keli at karens house. and good times at kelis house at her birthday party. we need to bring back the good days guys. we need to set a date and all spend the night at keli's and throw a lil party juss the 3 of us. and have food and watch donnie darko KTK. :D definately. im sure it wouldn't hurt to have one of those. i know i need some relaxation. ya know?
by the way your hands were shaking, rather waste some time with you
im going to miss my friends with too much.
*smiles happily* he still doesn't know.. and i think i like it that way.
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[07 May 2004|11:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Forced To Die"-As I Lay Dying |
] |
ive never cried this hard.
when somebody beats the tar out of you and your trying to hold back your tears because you know its a fucking weak thing to do is to cry. but they hit you so hard you can't hold back anymore. it just flows out. you want to die. right then. right there. because you know. that you loved them. and now they are destroying you.
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| nobody really cares isn't this great! |
[06 May 2004|07:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cynical |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Falling Away From Me"-Korn |
] |
would you please slit my throat because if i do it its considered suicide.
and suicide is selfish.
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[02 May 2004|08:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 apathetic |
] |
Doctor: Well, Rudolph, we've finally figured out what makes your nose red.
Rudolph: Is it pixie dust or leprechaun tails?
Doctor: No, it's a tumor.
Rudolph: You mean, like a magical Christmas tumor?
Doctor: No. A malignant tumor. The base of which is lodged deep within your brain.
Rudolph: Oh............Like a happy, special--
Doctor: You're going to die.
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x---ballerina
x---japanese shoe
x---kinky pink
x---socks i bought