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The One Made Of Dreams...

[ website | Dead, Hot and Ready... ]
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Leeds.... [10 Dec 2003|06:03pm]
[ mood | cold ]
[ music | NIN - Something I Can Never Have ]

Man Alive what a night...

Went to the Danko Tunes gig in The Cockpit in leeds, they were wank a bunch of egocentrical wankers. and the music was crap also.

Got really wasted after the gig and proceeded to fall asleep in a really uncomfortable position, thus now i have a bad back. Then in the morning i got lost in leeds got on the wrong bus you see, ohh the joys.

Now im home, im cold and sleep nd i wanna go back to bed.
Take care.

\m/ Nix\ m/

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oooh another quiz! [09 Dec 2003|02:07pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | Dying Fetus - Procreate the Malformed ]

Fankoo Cherry_scented for this one!

you are indigo
#4B0082

Your dominant hues are blue and magenta. You're the one who goes to all the parties but doesn't quite fit in at every one... you know what you want, but are afraid of what the world might think of it. You're a little different and that's okay with them, and if you're smart it's okay with you too.

Your saturation level is very high - you are all about getting things done. The world may think you work too hard but you have a lot to show for it, and it keeps you going. You shouldn't be afraid to lead people, because if you're doing it, it'll be done right.

Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.
the spacefem.com html color quiz
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[09 Dec 2003|01:56pm]
Gah!

Its still here even now!!!

Man Alive, Ive neglected thi big style!

lol

Anyone still here???

\m/ nix \m/
3 comments|post comment

[03 Aug 2003|09:00pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Cock and ball Torture - Anal Sex Terror ]

OMG!

ITS STILL HERE!!!

ill update later i cant be fucked right now

nicci
xxx

1 comment|post comment

Mike......mmmmmm [18 Jun 2003|07:08pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]
[ music | Metallica - The Thing that should not be ]

OMG!

I have had the best day!

went round to mikes house, it was fantastic! we had the best sex i have ever had, sorry, ill spear you the details, but lets just say i was blown away!

3 and a half hours... It fucking beats 'mr 30 second man' he knows who he is....lmfao hahaha

Nehoo...

Yeah so i am absolutly exhausted, but it was worth it

Nicciwaaaaaaah
\m/

1 comment|post comment

No more flematron....wooo! :D [14 Jun 2003|10:27pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

Dammit kids, i aint been this happy for like, ever!

I broke up with minger flem, and found myself the best looking guy i have seen for ages...he's called Mike and we had the best time together on thursday, sitting in the park in the sun getting drunk and getting stoned, it was amazing and we ahd some good 'fun' too ;) if you catch my drift...

hehehehe im so naughty, ubt i figured, what the hell, im young and i wanna have some fun, i dont wanna be in a relationship where im not satisfied, i need sustinance and now i have got it...

http://www.faceparty.com/maraxia

ohhhhhh how yummy is he, he asked me out n everything, i swear to god im in love.....hehehe lol

DH&R
xxxx

2 comments|post comment

[11 Jun 2003|10:46am]
[ mood | bored ]

Exam stress is getting too me, omg panick!

Im sick of getting up on a morning, having breckfast going for a fag, coming online to check my e mails then going outside to do work, its pissing me off.

Blah

BORED BORED BORED

\m/
Dead Hot and Ready

1 comment|post comment

Leeds! [10 Jun 2003|10:55am]
[ mood | ecstatic ]
[ music | Shed Seven - Let it Ride ]

I gots me my leeds ticket! wooooooo

Camping, smelling bad, no food, too much alcohol, too much weed! OHHHHH ITS GUNNA BE FAB! :d

\m/
Dead Hot and Ready

2 comments|post comment

[05 Jun 2003|10:56am]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | Necrophagia ]

Flem wrote this for me, Its so beautiful, I thought id share it with you all:

Untitled

A faint silhouette of your soul
Remains frozen
As a picture on my imagination
With temptation,
Love,
Depression.

Your beauty of which I long to touch
I will always remain here for you
Bound to your every whim
Feeling the bleeding sadness
Of your shattered heart
As im shadowed in your love
Wanting to touch your lips
Never to turn back im longing to be yours
Remaining in a desolate state
As I curl up with my thoughts,
Feelings and my fears
Now my eyes begin to see
I have began to fall,
Fall deeply into you.

\m/
Nicci
x

1 comment|post comment

[04 Jun 2003|02:48pm]
[ mood | busy ]

Got my computer back again lol

It got wiped clean, so i had to start all over again...

sorry i havnt been posting much, ive been too busy failing my exams lol

\m/
Dead Hot and Ready

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Thinggy... [30 May 2003|10:01am]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | Iced earth - something Wicked this way comes ]

Thanks Velvet_Claws...

If I were a month I would be: November

If I were a day of the week I would be: Friday

If I were a time of day I would be: Dusk

If I were a planet I would be: Pluto

If I were a sea animal I would be: Shark

If I were a direction I would be: North

If I were a piece of furniture I would be: Table

If I were a sin I would be: Wrath

If I were a historical figure I would be: Shakespere

If I were a stone, I would be: Hid under myself

If I were a tree, I would be: An Oak

If I were a bird, I would be: A Golden Egle

If I were a tool, I would be: A spanner, hehehe i already am :p

If I were a flower/plant, I would be: A black rose

If I were a kind of weather, I would be: Rain

If I were a mythical creature, I would be: A Dragon

If I were a musical instrument, I would be: A Violin

If I were an animal, I would be: Wolf

If I were a color, I would be: Black

If I were an emotion, I would be: Lonleyness

If I were a vegetable, I would be: A Carrot

If I were a sound, I would be: The sound of a cold breeze rushing through a gap in a window.

If I were an element, I would be: Fire

If I were a car, I would be: A black BMW Z3

If I were a song, I would be: Iced earth - Colours

If I were a movie, I would be directed by: kevin Smith

If I were a book, I would be written by: Serah Kane

If I were a food, I would be: Cheese

If I were a place, I would be: A music shop

If I were a material, I would be: Metal \m/ (agreed with velvet_claws)

If I were a taste, I would be: Revenge

If I were a scent, I would be: Tabacco Flower...mmm yummy!

If I were a religion, I would be: I wouldent be, so dont ask...

If I were a word, I would be: Passion

If I were an object, I would be: A guitar, so i could be played with all day ;)

If I were a body part I would be: A penis

If I were a facial expression I would be: A scowl

If I were a subject in school I would be: Theatre Studies

If I were a cartoon character I would be: An Angry beaver

If I were a shape I would be a: A Diamond

If I were a number I would be: 7

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Update... [30 May 2003|09:27am]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | Morbid Angel - Alters of Madness ]

Howdie Chickens!

Not much has happened really, ive been out a lot with jen and crew, its been fun, end of college has been and gone, we went out to town and got wankered, twas a good night, well from what i can remember of it lol

Apart from that ive been rivising, smoking, drinking some more, hanging out with flem, yes we are still together...been a month and a week. ohh joy....yeah you guessed....im getting kinda bored again, i need more! dammit GIVE ME MORE! lol im never satisfied am i. nvm.

He's a great guy and all, good in bed, but he's so fucking boring, there's just no 'sparkle' there was when we first met, but now.....nothing. Maybe i have been lying to myself for the past however long, i know i still love liam, and know i always will, but im just not ready for a full on proper relationship? i dunno, i feel bad for putting him through my shit, but i just dont know what to do.

I feel really confused and stupid, especially after 3 months of bieng apart from liam i still dream about him, and think about him constantly, he's like a virus i cant get out of my system. Pathetic

I miss him so much.

Flem knows i still love Liam, i had to tell him, but he doesnt know how much it is hurting me, and i dont know how to tell him or what to do.

I feel so alone.

\m/
Dead Hot and Ready

1 comment|post comment

[28 May 2003|10:46pm]
Well Well Well...

Fuck me sideways and call me charlie1

My my has been a while!

how's everyone? im just dandy, recently i have figured out who my real friends are and they mose certaily are not who they said they were.

nvm eh? life goes on.

ill have a better update wen im not drunk lol

\m/
Nicci
2 comments|post comment

[15 May 2003|06:39pm]
[ mood | grumpy ]
[ music | Sentenced - killing me killing you ]

FUCKING HAPPENS EVERY FUCKING TIME!

I get the motherfucking blame for everything! and im fucking sick of it, Mike comes up to me adn accuses of spreding 'shit' about him.....what 'shit' i do not know, and when i do not know, and he does not even give me a chance to tell him i havnt done anything, he just walks away, him and his fucking ego, what a wanker, i serioulsy want him to die.

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[14 May 2003|09:24am]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | The Haunted - The Haunted made me Do it. ]

Last night I had a major heart to heart with Flem, it was a real insight into his past, It made me realize how much I like him, and got me thinking how much he means to me.

However, and yes there is always a however....Its also made me realize how much my love for liam is stopping me form having really strong feeling for flem, Its like im not letting myself get attached to him, coz i dont want to get hurt like that ever, ever again.

Pathetic, after two months apart i still love him, and every time i see him its agony, like my heart is being cut up really slowly with a pear of blunt scissors, those ones you used at primary school, and i hate it.

I feel like wank on a stick, yes ladies and gentlemen you heard me correct, wank on a stick....

Blah, i just wanna curl up into a ball and die.

Drugs are becoming a regular way of 'getting away from it all' again...Its not a good thing, yeah i dont do hard drugs, but thats only coz i dont have the money too, if i did, i dont know what kind of a mess i would be.

And i have my driving test in like.....4 hours, i really really need to pass it, im going to have to concentrate so hard.

but i really can be arsed.

\m/
Dead Hot and Ready

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[10 May 2003|10:22am]
[ mood | gloomy ]
[ music | Neurosis - Crawl Back In ]

Last night i went to the pub with jen and Gemma, it was really boring, all of us were feeling down, and there was hardly anyone out that we knew. It was kinda shit.

Jennie got Id'd in Micks and couldent go in so she buggered off somewhere and we couldnet find her....nvm eh? lol

martin was out, depressed as usual, i really dont understand the crack with that boy.

All i could think about all night was Liam, its getting shit again, and i cant seem to stop feeling shit, i keep trying to fill my life up with things i love people i love, but the person i love the most will never ever be there for me again, and i feel sick and dizzy just saying that.

\m/
Nicci
xx

1 comment|post comment

[09 May 2003|05:18pm]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | Cold - Strip her Down ]

Going out tonight with jen and Gem, should be a laugh, Jen wants to get pissed to get over her loss of Nick (hes a tit) and i wish i had the money to get wankered, and i also wish i could fucking get over liam im so sick of pining after him its unreal, every day i see him it gets worse, i think im heading for another mental breakdown

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[07 May 2003|08:31pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | Billie Myers - Kiss the rain ]

Life's full of up's and downs...
The up's go like a flash in the pan,
and the downs last forever.

Nicci Goddard
2003

\m/
DH&R

3 comments|post comment

[05 May 2003|06:17pm]
[ mood | discontent ]
[ music | Vader - Litany ]

Such an uninteresting day....

I went to college, woooooooo, and then quickly left again i never went in today, went to the pub instead.

Im thinking the pub will have been much more productive than college.

Ive been trying to decide what to do for my birthday, and how many people to invite and who, and things, and its so hard...i was thinking a BBQ in the garden, some beers some laughs and MEEEEEEAT! lol

but i dunno, im confused, ill have to think about it some mroe.

\m/
DH&R

1 comment|post comment

The Weekend... [05 May 2003|11:20am]
[ mood | high ]
[ music | My Dying Bride - Like Gods of The Sun ]

Howdie campers!

lol

Has been an exelent weekend...

Friday
Went to the pub, as per usual, was planning on staying out for a couple of hours, nothing to much, and ended up staying there all night, hehehehe Jen was trollied, bless her she'd had like nothing and was absolutly fucked, I ended up joining her in the drunkenness state, and Also began worrying as i thought Flem was dead, as he was in london by himself lol and coz i was drunk i seem to remember telling everyone that my boyfriend had been raped and pilleged, hmmm lol and i also remember the fucking bus driver went the wrong friggin way round the roundabout, what a cock...

Saterday

Woke up, was sick...lol

went into town met up with Flem, who as it turns out isnt dead, and he'd been in the town centre since like 8.45 lmfao poor babes, then we had a look around the shops, and talked to a few people, then met up with mossop and went to Tanners for lunch, mmmm Natchos, drank a few pints then went to the turks, and sat and giggled, got high and giggled some more, played some pool and drank some more and took loads of random pictures, speaking of which, i shall put them on my website soon, lol there's some shockers. then Me n Flem Cat and Dom went to the tap to watch the Gig, some old Skool thrash metal band were on, and they were fantastic.
Flem wanted to start a pit lol, and he succeeded, there was a bit of a kufuffle with the bouncers like but it was all good in the end.
Went round to Flems house, got the last bus there with Cat and Dom, it was a loooong ass bus ride from what i can remember, and i was so desparate for a piss lol
Nehoo, we got back to his and his mum let us in, she was like 'hi james, have a good....ohh hello?' i nearly died...

Flem hadnt told his mum i was coming round, i must have looked like a dirty stop out, i was highly embarrased, i introduced myself and quickly scurried off into his room. His house is beautiful, immaculate, and his room, OMG....talk about the exact opposite to what i was expecting, he has thousands of CD's all good ones i mihgt add, 2 huge drawers full of DVD's and two shelfs full of videos. I nearly passed out....in fact i think i did for a bit. lol He's got a computer in his room, a DVD player and a huge TV, and a CD player, a flat one on his wall...I was so jelous. We watched his MDB DVD, that was amazing, best thing ive seen for ages.

Then we decided to go to sleep, I was a bit worried really, I didnt know what was going to happen, but it was really nice to fall asleep with him, in each others arms, I couldent stop smiling...

Sunday

Got home from flems after some food and waching the My Dying Bride DVD for the 2nd time...such a good DVD, and he also gave me one of his tops, the one i wanted from the Alchamy Gothic Market Stall, he never wore it so he gave it to me, how cute lol.

Fucking 1 hour bus ride into town from Catterick and a 15 minute one home and i got in the door at 4.15pm lol Mum was like 'hello stranger', and i crashed out on the couch then had tea, and was then ushered round to vic's house for a girlie night in... eating chewits and doing eachothers nails...lol

So overall this weekend has been great, i have hardly been at home and im feeling great!

Happy happy happy!

\m/
Nicciwaaaaaaaah

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