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Sunday, November 23rd, 2003

    Time Event
    4:38a
    "death is freedom, hatred is life"
    wow, my hands are numb so its taking me 10 minutes to type a fucking word and my head hurts, but at least im off my meds.

    lets see, friday i went to skool, had a head ache, didnt really do anything, went home, and did nothing.

    saturday i went to thews house and that was cool. then we walked up to scotts house and hung out with him, his gf and pj. we made a movie. lol. it was so terrible that it was hilarious. we had fun at least. we got to beat up pj and scott during the film and pj touched scotts gf's (sarah) boob and to make a long story short, scott did nothing and sarah managed to destroy pj's manhood and get a thorn stuck in his eye. blood everywhere, the funniest shit i ever saw. then we went back to matts house, watched black hawk down, i ate a marshmallow, we played guitar, i got drunk, and in the morning i got picked up. thats my saturday.

    today.......wow. i had to help my dad put up christmas lights, take a "car ride" and do a lab report and church project. all of this with a headache and parents yelling at me.

    theres still some people that i havnt talked to in a week and thats buggin me. i tried apoligizing but havnt heard back from any of them. things lately really suck and i just dont kno wut to do any more. my problems are solved with alchohol all the time now and i hav sudden head aches and mood swings. im not taking my meds and frends are mad at me. this life is so old. really, where am i going? its the same shit everyday and im sick of it. im really sad now for the first time in a l;ong time. and now im starting to wish i went to seymour. it seems like alot of people at st. joes hates me, including frends. i wish i was a better person. i wish i wasnt so fucked up. i really wish i wasnt so alone.

    Current Mood: depressed
    Current Music: box car racer : letters to god

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