so i moved - i cant stay in one place too long...
check it out...
http://www.xanga.com/dctrb
So there has been a lot of thinking going on my this crazy, helter-skelter brain of mine in the past week or so. I guess that is what happens when you stop bombarding yourself with the clutter of useless information we like to call college. Haha - well not all of it is useless - but you know what im saying.
I had an really good conversation with a great Christian woman the other night. She was explaining to me, why, as Christians we need not just settle for the bottom line, getting by. We have a higher standard to live by, we have to raise the bar. What started our conversation was a comment made about guys and girls and how they spend their time together, whether in a relationship or not. I didnt see anything wrong with a guy coming over and having dinner or watching a movie or whatever, esp when you arent in a relationship. She explained to me why that wasnt a good idea. Even though I know that the situation is innocent and that nothing would happen (which is the following the rule, bottom line thinking), it isnt the best idea. She explained that it is great that we follow the rules - but we also shouldnt be a stumbling block to other people. Like myself, I know you are wondering, well if we arent doing anything how is that making them stumble? Well, they see the situation, not knowing anything about what is going on - and assume whatever. This is how it is a stumbling block. It makes sense in my mind by - but i cant seem to put it in words at the moment - if you need clarification - just ask. Anyway - it totally made sense - and hit me like a ton of bricks - because i had never heard that before. And it wasnt just with guys that I applied this to - it was all aspects of my life. What I do/dont do can affect someone else and not just here and now, but eternally. Doesnt that just blow your mind?!?! It is human nature to care what other people think - and now i finally get why. As a christian, what people think of me - is what people may think of Christ and christianity as a whole. It is like going to a resturant that inside is immaculate - the best food you have ever had - the best service the best prices- everything you could imagine to be great- they have. However, one of the windows is dirty - and im not just talking about fingerprints. but mud splattered everywhere, probably some food particles that were throw at it, a couple bullet holes - maybe some dead insects - covering the whole window - not allowing you to see inside without this gross filter of sorts. Most people would see this and walk away - they assume that the window on the outside is a representation of what is on the inside - but they are mistaken. It is not their fault though - they are just going by what they are able to see. IT isnt until the window is clean and fixed that people will get an accurate picture of what happens on the inside.
Im going to end my analogy now before you all get confused. but that is how we can be to others - we mean well -but sometimes we just dont clean up. We all mess up - im not saying we have to be perfect. But allow God to clean you up - and allow those people who saw you broken - to see you ask God to clean you up. At church sunday, Pastor Brian talked about the same thing. That when Christians mess up - people think it is a bad testimony. however, if you use it correctly, it can work wonders - God can use anything to get his message across.
so, next my thought was - well how do i change something i am used to doing for so long? The answer is that we have to change our thinking, change our mindset. I know, I know - great words - but how the heck do you do that? By submerging yourself in God - in prayer, in his word, in fellowship with other Christians - the same way you would change anything else about yourself. It isnt going to happen overnight - and it wont be easy. It is a lifechanging thing..well at least for me it is. It may seem extreme - how you would have to change your habits - i still think it is. But how else are we going to make a statement for Christ than by being extreme? People need to see that we are different - not just getting by by following the rules - they need to see Christ in everything we do.
I'm blabbering - probably not making any sense to you at all - i apologize. but it has been in the forefront of my mind for a while now and i just needed to get it out.
if you have any thoughts or comments - let me know...
until next time...
Getting Into You
(Relient K)
When I made up my mind
And my heart along with that
To live not for myself
But yet for God
Somebody said
Do you know what you are getting yourself into?
When I finally ironed out
All of my priorities
And asked God to remove the doubt
That makes me so unsure of these
Things I ask myself
I ask myself,
"Do you know what you are getting yourself into?"
I'm getting into You
Because You got to me
In a way words can't describe
I'm getting into You
Because I've got to be
You're essential to survive
I'm going to love You with my life
When He looked at me and said,
"I kind of view you as a son"
And for a second our eyes met
And I met that with a question,
"Do You know what you are getting Yourself into into?"
I'm getting into You
Because You got to me
In a way words can't describe
I'm getting into You
Because I've got to be
You're essential to survive
I'm gonna love You with my life
I've been a liar and I'll never amount to
The kind of person You deserve to worship You
You say You will not dwell on what I did but rather what I do
You say, "I love you and that's what you are getting yourself into"
I'm getting into You
Because You got to me
In a way words can't describe
I'm getting into You
Because I've got to be
You're essential to survive
I'm gonna love You with my life
I'm getting into You
Because You got to me
In a way words can't describe
I'm getting into You
Because I've got to be
You're essential to survive
I'm gonna love You with my life
You said "I love you and that's what you are getting yourself into."
My Immortal
(Evanescence)
i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me
you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me
i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
and though you're still with me
i've been alone all along
So i ended up passing my class. Not the grade i really wanted - but i didnt fail - so im not goin to complain...much. As for the second semester - i ended up not taking it. I dropped it after the first day. The weekend in between - i realized that i wouldnt be able afford that - without being able to work - which i couldnt do while taking the class. i also realized that i needed to get a good portion of my research project done this summer. and if i would continue in the class - i would only have a week to do that - which would not work. so - i dropped it. i dont know - it could have been dumb choice - but oh well - its over and done with.
so i have been doing a lot of relaxing - which i was in desperate need of. i dont think ive had a break from learning since i graduate high school..thats been tooo long.
i leave for my mission trip in about a month and a half. i almost thought i wasnt able to go - cause i didnt get much response from my sponsor letters. but praise the Lord, last week someone gave me a large donation - making it so i am able to go now. which is a HUGE HUGE HUGE gift from God. I was praying for a miracle - and like always he provides. Gotta love him.
ok - well i dont have that interesting of a life so not much else to say...
until next time...
So it has been a while - for those of you who read this - i apologize...my life really isnt that exciting. That and i am too immensed in learning about organic chemical reactions to have time to stop and think and write something you can read that is worthy of your time.
The first semester of Ochem is over - it ended friday...i dont know how i did yet - i find out tomorrow. If i did well i have to go back for the next 4 weeks to do it all over again (but with new and harder material). If i did poorly, i get the next 4 weeks to do whatever i want. hmm...it doesnt make sense - its like im being punished for doing good...crazy. However, if i do bad - i will have to do it again next summer and, well as much as i would like to have the next 4 weeks off - doing again next summer would be worse.
As for the class - it never got easier - shoot - nothing ever does. But i managed to keep going - get up every morning and subject myself to learning a bunch of crap. I shouldnt be so negative - cause really, i doubt it is the learning of ochem that is the purpose, but rather what i have gone through, how it has changed me and what it has taught me about life, myself, whatever. If you look at it that way, i guess it makes it sound better.
As for the rest of my life...not much going on - really dont have much time. We won our softball game on friday - i played like a champ. Really dont know where it came from....i was sooo tired - i only got 2 hours of sleep that night (stayed up studying for my final), and had a turkey sandwich and an apple to eat. Must be my goodluck charm - should do it before every game - haha yeah right. The girl on the other team was quite impressed with my batting skills. As we were shaking hands after the game - she looked at me and said, "you rock!" then after came up to me and said, you are amazing - i have never seen a girl hit the ball that far before in my life. What do you say to that? Thanks, yeah I know im amazing..shoot i couldnt believe it was me. It was God - i know that - for one reason or another - giving me the skills to play...and to play well - esp that game. It was fun - i enjoyed it. After - we had an ice cream social (cause all teh church teams played at teh same time that night) - and i fed half of my cookies and cream to Aaron Eisel (the coachs 9 month old son)...he really enjoyed it...we bonded.
As for the rest of the weekend - beth came and visited - we had a good time. i slept till noon on sat - to catch up from the lack of sleep i accrued during the week. i still am tired - and will most likely sleep in for a while tomorrow.
The rents were here for a fire meeting so i got to hang out with them for a bit too - always a good time.
Mostly, I have just been enjoying my free weekend - not having to worry about doing homework, or reading chapters, or writing lab reports..i can just sit around and read my book that i havent been able to finish - or watch Law and Order all day (yup - did both). I still have tomorrow - so its great! Matt and his mom are coming down to hang out with me - cause they are going to see Eric Clapton tomorrow night at Nationwide, downtown. Im exicted - i havent got to see him in a while - ive talked to him - but thats about it. So im looking forward to it.
As for the mission trip - im not sure if i can go now. Half of my money (750) was due on friday , and i was 200 short. Which, really isnt that big a deal - cause im not that short - however, in seeing that - i highly doubt that i will get the other 1000 in the next month, so i can go. I sent out about 60 letters, and got about 7 people to respond - thats a bit disappointing. Its all up to God - if im not supposed to go - i wont. But i then feel bad for those who gave, expecting and hoping that i would be going. The money will just go into the bigger mission trip project fund - so it will get used - but not for the purpose they expected. Im sorry. Who knows - something may come up and i will be able to go - but who knows. Its all on God.
As for other exciting news - i really cant think of anythign - cause not much has gone on. Just trying to keep alive and keep sane....when something exciting happens - ill be sure to let you all know..
until next time...
The last 2 weeks have been most interesting. Class is hell...i hate it....i want to poke my eyes out. I have gotten high Cs on both exams....and well i should have gotten As but i enjoy making dumb little mistakes that lower my grade...argh. I am doing well on the quizzes - so i guess that should help me out. I have got a test on monday - over the REALLY hard stuff, reactions. REally, i wonder why they think that me being able to do that is going to make me a good doctor...cause i know when a patient comes in i am going to ask them the chemical compound of the food they ate and think of the reaction that occured to make them sick......not so much. I hate the system that makes me do this. Damn the man.
I have also been sick for the last 5 days or so. not fun at all. I tried to wait it out but it wasnt getting any better. so i ended up going to the health center at crapital, opps i mean capital and they helped me out. gave me some drugs and sent me on my way. so im in the recovery period right now -the medicine is helping, but at the same time i makes me feel out of it..so i dont know...ill talk the good with the bad.
really cant think of anything else to put - oh wait. this was awesome! since class is hell and i hate it, i was in need of some major encouragement...andwell monday i went and checked my campus mail and i got a package. i was like wow..thats unexpected. it was from matt!!!!:-) he sent me a great little note a book and a cd - just for the fun of it...cause hes a great friend. It meant a lot - and helped me to get through the week...i love him...:-)
other than that im just trying to survive hell. im half way done with the first semester - so 1/4 the way done with teh whole thing...i just gotta keep my eye on the finish line....hopefully i wont finish last. i really hate this class.
So its been a while since i have put anything of substance in here - so i thought i probably should.
I got the rest of my grades back...all A's WAHOO!!! And that B+ in physics...im the smartest woman alive!
Chrissy and Phil got married on saturday. It was an awesome ceremony - very God oriented - as it should be. Since Phil is scottish - they had a bagpipper playing - i loved it. They also had people sing I can only imagine while they light the unity candle - how precious...i cried. Chrissy looked A-MAZING! She was so beautiful - and Phil - well shoot i would have thought his face would hurt after smiling all day - they were soooo happy, excited and so in love. I like weddings - they are great times and it is usually happy (as was the case here). The reception was fun. My friend meredith caught the bouquet - and I caught a flower that fell off...i guess that means something? It was fun being able to hang out with everyone on such a special occasion. At the same time though, it was a bit weird - cause well they are MY friends, and they are MARRIED now. Its just hard tobelieve...in one sense it makes me feel old - in the other it makes me feel all mature (in a good way). But its exciting none the less.
That night I was able to hang out with Monica. We had a blast - we stayed up till about 430 just talking and playing guitar and what not. I love nights like that - it was sooo much fun. Really good talks (which i particularly enjoy). I am so thankful that God has let our paths meet - it has been such a blessing to me.
O-chem started today - what joy. It wasnt that bad - it is going to be tough - there is no doubt - but i think i will be ok...its all i have right now so - we will see. I dont have a book yet - cause the person i was going to borrow it from - she cant find it - so tomorrow im going to talk to the prof and see what we can do. We have a quiz on wed and a test on thursday - so its imperative that i get this book and soon.
So today - the most disturbing thing happened to me - i was scared for my life. I went to the post office to mail some things. As i was getting out of my car - i realized that my door was going to hit the car next to me (who was parked really close to the line anyway) - so i grabbed it - but a second too late - and it bumped the car beside me. Not hard at all - more like a tap really. Well practically at the same time (he had to have been watching me) this guy leans over from the drivers side and starts reaming me a new one. "Are you f**ing serious? I'm f***ing sitting right here, and you f***ing hit my car!!!!" Like seriously, i have never seen anymore more mad in my life, or at least a really long time. I am taken aback - really dont know how to react - thinking at first maybe he is just joking - but his eyes said something else. I apologized and said i didnt mean to, i didnt realize I was that close. RIght then, his wife comes around the car giving me the dirtiest look ive ever gotten, asking me where did you hit it - where is the mark? I was like, maam it barely hit your car - there is no mark. All while he is still reaming me a new one from inside the car. I was scared for my life - i thought he was going to get out and shoot me or beat me up or something...it was scary. The woman is searching the car for any marks, and im telling her there arent any - because it barely tapped the car. (the location of the incident was the outside of the tire hub on their SUV - and the black bumper strip on my door - so minimal damage would have happened anyway) STill giving me the dirtiest look ever, she says, you are glad no one saw you or you would be paying for the damages. I said, maam - if i did any damages i would be happy to pay you. But my door barely hit your car - so there arent any. I apologize. "Well you just need to watch what the hell you are doing and be more careful" - was her retort. So i slink back in my car - cause i hadnt had the chance to get out yet - and let them leave. He continues to make the comment that it was inconsiderate that I "hit" him while he was still in his car. Cause I consciously thought, hey there is a guy sitting in his car- let me hit his car with my door....dumbass. They put it in reverse and peal out. Meanwhile - the woman who was parked beside me - she yells at the guy - you need to watch your mouth -there are children around - and he yells back ?mind your f**ing business. She yells back - you are just having a bad day - dont take it out on us. he continues yelling something and drives off. I gather myself and get out of my car. The woman looks at me and says, i saw what happened and you barely hit the side of his car. He had been yelling at people for the 5 min he was parked there - dropping the f-bomb like it was his job. I apologized to her that it was my fault that her son had to hear him act like that. I went in the post-office - afraid that he may come back and beat my car with a baseball bat - or be out there waiting when i returned. Needless to say i was very shaken up - and was literally shaking for about a half hour after the incident. I still get fired up thinking about that - why people have to act like that. I know it was my fault, but i apologized - what else could i do? I was acting as nicely as i could - in the back of my mind thinking that i could end up in the hospital if i get rude or mean. thank the Lord that I was able to keep my cool and that I'm ok, and the car is ok - and nothing did happen or most likely it would have been a lot worse.
All i wanted to do was come home and lock myself inside - i was that frightened. I wouldnt wish that on anyone - ei yi yi - it seriously made me sick to my stomach.
What a monday.....
until next time...
CLASS IS OVER - FINALS ARE OVER!
I just found out i got a B+ in physics....so im ELATED!!
I guess all that hard work payed off...im a freaking genious...that or im just really lucky. haha.
yeah - thats all - im happy now...
ITS THE LAST WEEK OF THE QUARTER!!!!!! WAHOO!!!
So yeah, its the 10th week - and im excited. I am so ready to be done.
I only have one final (physics), a take home and a research paper - thats it. A great way to end the year. I only get about 5 days off before i start ochem at crapital. Which, as nerdy as I am - I am somewhat excited about it. It is going to be hell - cause its a hard class..and very intense - but at the same time - i dont know...im a nerd.
I went up to Stratford, Ontario this past weekend for the honors trip. For the Shakesperean festival. It was a lot of fun. We saw "Midsummer Nights Dream,"Macbeth," and "Guys and Dolls." They plays were phenominal. Macbeth was somewhat boring and very confusing - not to mention that it was a matinee - so i took a little nap through it. Guys and Dolls was amazing - great dancing - a lot better than our high school production. And Midsummer nights dream - wow it was really good...i like that play.
When we first got we had some time to kill so a few of us went to an Irish Pub to have some drinks. I had a drink called fruit explosion - wow - i dont think ive ever had a better drink in my life - it was great! We played darts - and surprisngly - im pretty good.
Sat night - after the plays we went out to a karaoke bar - A LOT OF FUN! Wow - ive never been karaoking before - but i really enjoyed it. I got up and sang - not by myself - thank the Lord - i didnt want to scare everyone out of the place. After about an hour and a half of that - we went to a dance club down the road. IT WAS SO PACKED! And sooooo hot - i think i sweated out all the alcohol i had that evening (and it was a good amount). We were there for quite a while. I was worried that I would be sore the next day - cause it has been forever since I danced last....but surprisngly i was ok.
We came back on sunday - long drive - i think it was about 7 hours or so.
When I got back - i headed down to where Mike is from (wheelersburg)...i had a really good time down there. Got to meet his parents, who are really nice people. Good christian family he comes from - very good thing. It was really good weekend overall - even though i was spent from all the activity - it was worth it.
This weekend looks terrible exciting - ive got 2 papers to write and a physics test to study for...how joyous. It could be worse though - so im not going to complain.
My good friends, Chrissy and Phil are getting married next weekend. It is exciting - but it makes me feel old - im attending my own friends weddings...ei yi yi. I am happy for them - I wish them well.
For all of you who dont know - or may have forgotten. God is soooo incredibly amazing. I dont feel like divulging specifically why i think so. But when i stop and think - i look at my life and see where i have been - and then i see how God has pulled me through - and how he has provided for me, and used my past to bless others - and in doing so - he has blessed me 10x over. It just leaves me speechless.....at times it seems too good to be true...and i wonder, could he love me anymore? It is times like these that make me wonder why people chose not to believe...
Hes great...:-D
until next time...
it has been a while since my last post. I enjoy doing this, but at the same time - it seems somewhat of a chore. Nonetheless, people like to know what is going on (well at least I hope they do) - so i must update.
Things have been going fairly well. The weather has gotten much better - and that is really good. I even somewhat enjoy the nightly storms that pass through - as long as there arent tornados - im good. I havent got to play a softball game yet. The weather has cancelled most of them. the one game they did play, I wasnt able to go cause of track...we won anyway..wahoo! GO TEAM! Speaking of which, I wasnt able to find my glove, so i broke down and bought a new one. (im not sure if i already posted that or not - but oh well). Im sad, but i guess whoever has it now needs it more than i do. Im just consoling myself from my loss. Its just a glove - im over it.
Im still dating mike. It is a lot of fun. He is a great guy. I dont want to post a lot about that - cause well, those of you who know me, or really care - probably know anyway..so. But it is exciting...im having a good time.
School is almost over. 2 weeks of class left, then finals. Im way excited!!! Time for physics to be over!!! Ive only got about 5 days break - then my summer o chem class starts. thats not exciting, but its summer. AND IM A SENIOR!! woah! thats scary.
So crazy thing about the good old OC (otterbein college for those of you not "in the know") is that i have to be out of my on campus housing by june 9. the last day of finals. then, I cant move in to my other on campus housing until maybe june 20. how messed up is that?!?! First of all, i dont have time to be packing up my stuff, and at the same time studying for finals. Well theoretically, that would be a good arguement, but i really dont study, so i cant say that. but even still..thats dumb. Second, what are we supposed to do for those 11+ days?!?!?!? not their problem they say. well screw you! Luckily, i have people who love me. My good friend, Tammy Smith is letting me crash in her basement till i am able to move back in. And some other good friends are letting me store my stuff in their house till i can move in. I just dont understand it. I would rather just move all my stuff once, to the right place, than moving my stuff all over c-bus. its crazy. otterbein is messed up. only one more year left...that is the hope i cling to.
so the street preacher is here. He is not like the other street preachers, that yell at people and say they are going to hell. Which is a good thing. He is still outgoing, as most street preachers need to be. But he is challenging people about the faultiness of their thinking, and giving them biblical truths to replace them. I sat out there today for about an hour - and heard a lot of stuff. Mostly people being extrememly rude and disrespectful of Tom. Even people claiming to be christian were trying to fight him. As a christian community, we should be supportive of his efforts to spread the gospel. I heard one kid say, "you suck, you need to leave." And my thought was, you know, what are you doing to try and get people to hear the word of God? Do you think you can do a better job at preaching to the lost? People are lost, and lash out against someone who brings the light to them. Yes, street preachers get a bad wrap, because they are who they are. There are some really bad ones out there - who claim to be perfect, and claim to know everything. But I know this one, and he doesnt. He said it today. It just really aggrevates me to see people so disrespectful. But I guess you cant expect anything less when you are not following the Lord. Satan is using those people to discourage others against becoming Christian. I just pray against that and hope that God does amazing things on this campus.
so im going back to honduras again! YEA!!!!!!!! Im very excited. WE are going from sept 4-11. It is the same trip i went on last year - to the same location. its kind of exciting that way - getting to see how people are doing. it is also good for them - knowing that it wasnt just a one time deal - we are following up. So, for anyone reading this...if you would like to help - or know someone that can....please let me know! The trip costs $1,500 total...that includes all my airfare, lodging, food and transportation while i am down there. So financial assistance is needed. Also, since it is a medical trip, we take down all our supplies. I have a list of everything we need to take. It ranges from band-aids, to tylenol, to antibiotics to antifungal cream. Like i said, if you know anyone that you think would be able to help us out - please ask them. Last year, we didnt get as many of the supplies as we needed (esp antibiotics) - so we had to turn some people away. We dont want that happening again this year. Also - if you arent able to do anythign else - please pray. Pray that money and supplies will come in. Pray that God will use us down there. Pray that God will prepare our hearts to go, and the hearts of those who we will be assisting. THANKS!!!
ok - time for homework..
until next time...
So i think i had one of the most enjoyable weekends in a long time.
I was up in Huron, visiting my good friend Beth. Not to mention that I was at the OAC finals track meet in Heidelberg. We ended up winning the conference - both men and women - YEAH GO CARDS!!!! Gonna add another ring to my collecetion. 3 for 3 so far with the sports I have been the trainer for. It rained most of saturday - and was a bit chilly - but it wasnt that bad.
I found out sat morning that I got an A on my phyics test - i almost peed my pants....literally. The last test of the year (save for the final) and I get an A - nice work. It made me happy.
Sat evening, friends of mine from church camp, Janet and Sarah, came over to Beth's and we watched Lion King 1 1/2. HILARIOUS!!! I enjoyed it very much. We got to catch up on things - cause i havent seen them in a while - great people.
Then some other people came over - and they were playing euchre. Well Sarah and I decided to play this game thing. She would fling the coaster, I would hit it with the pillow, and she tried to catch it. It was fun - we ended up playing it for 1 1/2 hours. It was hilarious - we are so likeminded that playing a simple game like that was entertaining for us. We never grew tired of it - the only reason we stopped - was because we went to Steak and Shake. That was fun - midnight run to steak and shake. Random word games being played - because we didnt know what else to do.
Got to bed around 2 - woke up for church at 715....gotta love it.
Then i drove home home cause my friends were up from the carolinas. The one graduated from college, and was having a party at her house. It was nice seeing everyone, cause I havent seen most of them in a while. I got to have some really good conversations with them - because i havent seen them in a while....it was amazing. I love good conversation.
The family is good, my nephew is growing so much...hes so adorable. Didnt get to see them as much as I wanted - but i had to get back to go to class.
Overall - it was a really good weekend - too bad it was so short. Class gets in the way of life sometimes....3 weeks left.
until next time...
I thought it was April showers bring may flowers - not more showers!! Ei yi yi!
This week has been pretty darn awesome if I may say so. I had a physics exam on tuesday - and well if you know me - you would know that physics and i havent been getting along. So yeah - this is our last physics exam before the final - and i figured - you know - i should study extra hard - cause i really havent all year. as luck would have it - i felt oddly comfortable going into the exam - not like before when i knew absolutely nothing! And again after taking the exam i felt very comfortable. I knew how to do all of the problems (wow!!), well at least i thought so. I knew what formula to use and what not...so it made me feel really good after taking it. I emailed my prof to see what i got - so we will see if my feeling good was real or that i really didnt know how to do anything - but thought i did. que sera sera.
The weather has gotten much better....Praise the Lord! I dont like ohio winters - they last F-O-R-E-V-E-R. The rain isnt soo bad - cause at least it is warm. even though we havent got to play a softball game yet - cause they have all been rained out.
The guy and i are still talking - we went out on another date wednesday. im excited about this. he is a really nice guy - and we seem to have a lot in common. the conversation flows really well, and he is very easy to talk to. it makes me happy.
Now - i am off to the OAC track meet at Heidelberg (tiffin ohio), where - to my luck it is supposed to storm all day long. I hope it doesnt - it is no fun sitting out in the rain all day...or 2 days - ive got the track meet tomorrow too.
ok, well i must head on down the ro-ad. take care of my athletes.....GO CARDS!
so the past week has been very good for me. not only has the weather brightened my mood - but God is really shining down on me. Things have been rough - just dealing w/ life and school and what not. and well i was sort of in this rut. But God knows what you need exactly when you need it to bring you out. HE IS SO AMAZING! If you are reading this and have never experienced that or dont know what i am talking about - please ask me. God can bless you more than you could have ever imagined - if you only let him.
So i have been talking to this boy for a few weeks now - and we went on a date last thursday. I had a lot of fun, as did he - because he asked me out on another date. It is so weird...but in a good way. He is a really nice Christian guy. Very comfortable to talk to - and easy going. I am excited that we are getting to know each other better - it is exciting (I know i used that word - but i dont know how else to explain it).
It has just made me feel better. A guy likes me - he is asking me out - what would make a girl feel better about herself? I dont know what is going to happen - i am not going into this w/ any expectations. if we end up being friends - great! he would make an awesome friend. if things turn out better- thats good too. I am just following what God wants to do w/ this right now.
Like I said, God knows exactly what you need when you need it - and he never lets you down.
:-D :-D :-D :-
So wow - this weekend (save for friday) has been incredibly beautiful weather - and I love it!! Something about the sun shining that brightens my mood. I have been feeling a bit better - i doubt it is mono - but something is going on. I can still function normally - so that is good. Last night i went putt-putting w/ some friends of mine and it was so much fun. It is crazy how upset you can get cause that little ball won't go into the hole. I swear that the ball was possessed - that or the hole was. I dont know how many times i was robbed of a hole-in-one. Oh well - it was just a game.
Today is mother's day. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! to anyone who reads this that is a mom. Church was really good this morning - we had the pastor's wife talking. I really enjoyed it. We got a woman's perspective of what it takes to be a mom. The verses she used were found in Titus 2:1-5. It is an outline of what a woman is to do. Just gave us some insight on what we need to do as women to keep our men happy.
It has been a good week for me. On Thursday, the most amazing woman, Tammy Smith, talked at OCF. She did a phenominal job. She talked about the major choices in life....deeper that what you would think. And what you decide to do w/ these - affects most all the other decisions you make. For example, you can chose to bow down to your past or your past can bow down to you. You can be a person who gives or a person who gets. You can be a person who believes in the seen or the unseen. There was another one - but i cant remember. Anyway - she made some really good points. It really made me think about what i am doing right now - and what I need to do. I really needed to hear it. I just wish everyone could have heard her speak - it was such a good talk.
ok, well i must get back to studying - enough time has been spent procrastinating.
4 weeks left - then im done...Praise the Lord!
until next time...
1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4 & type it here:
"...one, Frances, they said he was going to marry. He had a..." - Antwone Fisher
2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first? the wall
3: What is the last thing you watched on TV? CSI:-D
4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is: 12:45
5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time? 12:44
6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? Josh Groban CD, radio in the other room
7: When did you last step outside? what were you doing? about 1020 - coming to work
8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at? yahoo news
9: What are you wearing? jeans, t-shirt, zipper hoodie, my shox
10: Did you dream last night? um...i cant remember - but i had a freaky dream sat night - i was at church and we sang a song - well sunday morning - yeah, we same the exact same song - the exact way i had heard in my dream...crazy eh!?
11: When did you last laugh? about 9 after michael called and i flipped out haha
12: What is on the walls of the room you are in? calendars, posters
13: Seen anything weird lately? umm...those crazy pictures of the prisoners in Iraq being treated horribly
14: What do you think of this quiz? it gives me something to do
15: What is the last film you saw? full film - Dirty Dancing
16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
a jeep wrangler - then my education
17: Tell me something about you that I don't know: I am in the guiness book of world records...
i participated in the largest chicken dance (at the canfield fair)
18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? free health care for everyone - and people who have too much money will pay for it
19: Do you like to dance? sometimes
20: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Rayne Michelle
21: Imagine your second child is a boy, what do you call him?
Isaiah Michael
22: Would you ever consider living abroad?
yup - i welcome it
23: What else are you doing right now? Talking to my friend Sarah, Procrastnating, listening to awesome Josh Groban
24: Who was the last person you hugged? my best friend lauren
25: Who was the last person who told you they loved you? Mrs Tammy Smith
26: What will you do when you finish this quiz? go home and sleep
27: What you did today? woke up for physics - went to phyics (rare for me) - got there and found out it was cancelled for the next 2 days. Went back home - made brownies - went grocery shopping - went to class - visited my intership people w/ the brownies - went to track practice - saw the doc - came home - had dinner - took a nap - played the guitar and came to work - such an exciting life i lead...
28: What do you do best? procrastinate
29: What is one thing that you love but hate about yourself? Im ADHD:-D hehe..
30: Are you missing something/someone? yeah, my softball glove - it has been missing for about a week and a half now - im really sad w/o it...please come home...
so i stole this from my friend Tami's xanga - and i found it most intriguing
obviously i changed her answers to mine...
You are given a gift of 1 million dollars (kindly adjust for currency in your location). There are some restrictions on how you can spend some of the money, as follows:
$100,000 must be donated to charity. What charities will you support?
hmm...i would agree w/ tami - i think Heritage will get that
$100,000 must be given to one person that you know. To whom do you give it? What would you expect him/her to do with it? Would you put any restrictions on its use? Would it make a difference if you could make the donation anonymously?
My dad - he can do whatever he wants w/ it - except anything for me
$100,000 must be given to someone who has recently been in the news. Who gets it? Why?
umm...i havent heard anything on the news that really sparked my interest to want to give them any money...but it would either be some poor people who need major health care - or someone who is doing something great that would need money
$100,000 must be spent on a public beautification project. You can build a park, commission artwork, etc. What do you do, and where do you do it?
i would build a huge athletic complex w/ a pool and awesome playgrounds - something like central park with great grass - but in Limon (for my kids)
$100,000 must be spent on a memorial to someone/something that you have loved and lost. What form does the memorial take? Who is it for?
My grandpa - and fireman
$50,000 must be spent studying something you have not formally studied. What will you study?
sign language and psychology
$50,000 must be spent establishing a scholarship. What's it for and who will you name it for?
poor white girls from small towns that have to pay for college all by themselves and worked their butt of to get there and are getting screwed by the government
it will be named "You Earned It"
:-D
$50,000 must be given away in a contest. What kind of contest do you hold?
even though i love tami's idea of the worst car - i must chose my own..
the most number of random jobs you have held as a high school and/or college student
$200,000 must be spent doing as many things as you can on your "lifetime to do list." Always wanted to see Alaska? Take a boat trip on the Rhine? What things would you do first?
go skydiving
go to ireland
backpack across europe
play rugby in New Zealand
That leaves you with $150,000 of mad money. If the rules say you can't spend that money on things that might be termed "practical," what do you buy on your spending spree?
a jeep wrangler and shopping spree @ nike...yeah anything - shoes clothes whatever.
that and old navy
so i havent been feeling all that great lately. I have been sleeping a lot, not really that hungry, feeling nauseous, and getting headaches. It has been going on for over a week now - so i decided to see the doc. He isnt exactly sure what is going on - but i have to take it easy for the next few days, and see what happens. If i dont get much better w/in the next week - he suggests getting tested for mono. That is no fun. I hope it is some weird thing and that it passes - i hate being sick. :-/
so for now i just have to be careful and try and get better.
pray for me
Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing, strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me, I'm hiding all the tears
They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
Deep inside this armour - the warrior is a child.
Unafraid because His armour is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest.
People say that I'm amazing - never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies that lay me at His feet.
They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and look up for a smile
'Cause deep inside this armour...
Deep inside this armour...
Deep inside this armour...
The warrior is a child.
-The Warrior is a Child by Twila Paris
i dont know about you - but most of the time i just dont understand myself. I think one thing, yet do another. I want one thing and at the same time want the exact opposite.
I just wish for one month, one week, one day even - that i will understand - that i would be transported to a place of total peace. Where i will not have to think about the problems i have, or the things i am dealing with - anything. I can just be me - and be content with that. :-/
Navigate: (Previous 20 entries)