it's kinda funny how your past comes back to haunt you.. kinda destroys you a bit? yeah.. a little i guess i wanna cry...this feeling always comes back.. anddd it suckss... and i wanna die.. i wanna destroy calvin.. see he is so damn perswasive.. its hard to say no.. i think im sad... i think im angry to.. and i do wanna sit down and cry and i wanna go into the past .. you know im not yet over calvin... and then there's ryan and all those other guys i seriously have no brain i guess.. oh well...this is what happens.. i wanna erase my past.. you know if i do become famous how bad this is gunna come back? some guy even has a pic
i just wanted you to know i think about you every night when i fall asleep i just wanted you to know i think about you every night when i fall asleep you are in my dreams and just like in a movie the one you want to see with a happy ending
wow i havnt updated since ever but i saw comments and thought it was rude to leave the ladies waiting but i wanted u tell u im okay but the ed isnt going with me i atually gained weight and a boob size i need to lose this ass these thighs these calves this stoamch any good workouts for a particular one???plz
Stability results were low which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.
Orderliness results were low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
Extraversion results were very high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.
trait snapshot:
craves attention, messy, open, rash, irritable, likes large parties, low self control, weird, fragile, does not like to be alone, emotionally sensitive, worrying, depressed, heart over mind, does not respect authority, dependent, not rule conscious, not good at saving money, more interested in relationships than intellectual pursuits, likes to fit in, very social, frequently second guesses self, phobic, suspicious, not careful, outgoing, vain, compassionate, aggressive, likes to make fun, hates to lose
since there is no one here to listen to me..to tell me their opinon..im just gunna go drown myself from a stupid high i guess..im gunna go snort some ritz..wish it would go away ...maybe even cry..i wish i wasnt alone right now..i wish someone was hugging me
ya im pretty sure some of you people have felt hurt..well i feel huyrt and im amd..i feel unwanted adn alone no one knows....no one would care..or i dont want them to care..i dont want anntention and ...god latley i've been mad at friends..not laura or jamie tho...the only reason i would b mad at laura is cuz she wasnt home when i wanted to tell her somthign important..jamie..i just can really conect to latley..i told callan i would sotp as hard as i can to stop ritz..i will...god ..u know wut..i need a brake form friends..maybe i can only spend time with laura for the next week...maybeee...so teh letter i sid i would..promise to send..here it is i guess...read it..
so somtimes letters help people right? well this is a letter i want to send i dont want to keep it to myself..well at least no more..i want t stop writing letters adn wishing i could send them ..because well this time i'm going to send this one..and this one is for you etoile and im terribly sorry...i just can't take it and i know..im a horrible a person for doing this...you awlasy saying im always there when really...i don't want to be no more!! im 13 years old i can't help!! i don't have years of expercine!! i will eventually but not now!! and etoile...fuck im sorry okay..i really am..like i said somtimes people just need a break...my break wants to be forever..i know i complain adn do retarded things to..but i don't wanna hear it!! i'd rather do it!! you saying 'I made her have depression.' makes me mad!! it makes me wanna kill you!! slap u and say 'UR RETARDED!' i can't help though etoile...this stage i've went through and me sayiong its a stage makes it worse..your stage might last but mine didn't..and well....when i went through it jamie didn't help me..it helped me..'cause ..well..you can find out on your own..might not even have the same stage i did but what im saying is.. fuck this is hard cuz im gunna be sending it and im all..blah....there are times when im mad at you sad for you cryed cuz of you happy...weird..hyper...even jelous...haha...and i dont know if its like that for you..but ever since..well..lets think when did this all go boom for me..after january about..thats when i realized..lies lies lies..not you..me..i tell myself lies just to hold on to you longer and keep you closer...i hate hcnage i dont want to change i want everythign to be the same but i know it wont be..and i got to move on..i might be maturing or w.e...but i can't stand it no more..WE ARE WAYYY TO DIFFERNT..your not the kind of friend i want actaully..when i think about it...and i have no idea what this might do for us but...i..really...cant take it no more...okay u might be thinking now...'JUST SPIT IT OUT'..but if u never got my writing....i guess i will...I carlie...donn't..want to be your.....friend...right now...forever...a while..i dont know for how long!!..i just want to be alone with some people right now...im being wierd latly...and don't worry everything we said to each other will be kept a shh...sorry for the messing writing..but..do u agree..??..well it doesnt matter..i need a brake..adn we can't be friends right now...im gunna b blunt even more..
we can ahve the same friends but i will avoid you..sorry.....
Yours when?,
Carlie
is it harsh? i dont know..i need a brake..i nice long brake...save me?
13 years young never had a kiss never had a boyfriend i want one i just imagenit so..perfect!! someone there to say 'it's okay carlie' 'dont cry' 'i love you' 'im here' just someone there..so i know im not alone i need one haha i have plenty friends ya but i want someone eles there i dont know maybe im a little crazy? probally... knowng me etoile makes me scared for her she also makes me mad viusting rainbow??!?! HES DEAD she basiqully said she was gunna go kill herself and haunt me!! she said she was gunna go see him and she promiese to viste me!! if she commited suicide i would b VERY mad shes my friend wether people like her or not i get mad .. everyone keeps telling me how bad etoile is how shes not a good friend she lies she cheats no one likes her thats wrong I like her i love her and if she died i would be terribly misserable sheesh laura..etoile...jessica...jamie.. my four best friends.. jamie wasnt on b4.. earlyer but she has to be.. she understands alot.. she knows wut its like INSIDE my life my pathetic loser life i love you guys
you wanna see who can loose the most aweight...i will b skinny ..this is now officailly a race..i swear to god if i have to kill myself i will not be 3rd always 1st or 2nd got that? ..i will b 100 if i have to..thats..31 days about..to lose 18 pounds about..so hm..this'll b fun..bye