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[15 Nov 2002|11:16pm] |
I've been stupid the last few days. Can everyone forget my whining about The Boston Post and missing my brothers and let me start fresh? Scott's in a new band and so are the twins and I'm happy for them. I don't even want to be involved in the industry and so I don't know why all the news about Scott's band made me regret my decision. I don't regret it.
Today was good, I'm still drowning under reading, but I took a long deserved break to catch up with some friends and spent my only day without classes hanging out with them, instead of doing all the school work I was meant to. It's good to have a firm set of friends, I think it's something I appreciate more and more now. It sounds stupid, but I think you'd all understand. You're traveling all the time, the only real friends you get are the people around you or these brief connections you want to maintain but never seem able to. My friends here though are friends, we sit together in classes and we eat lunch together and they embarrass me in front of guys and are the only ones not to laugh at me when I say stupid things in my classes. I like that, even if they do call me when I'm in bed and demand I get my ass dressed and out to see them.
Life's too busy at the moment though. I need to start talking to some of you people out there. I spoke to Scott for about ten minutes, but that's been it and it's not like that was a successful conversation. Scott has the ability to make me feel worthless and naive within a minute of saying a word. I guess he and I never did get along very well. . .
That wasn't the point of the above paragraph. This is positive Dave Moffatt who has a date tonight and should be worried about what he's wearing and not his asshole of an older brother. Not that Scott's an asshole, but he sure acts like it at times. The point of it was to say that almost dave m is my screen name and someone better speak to me next time I'm online.
I'm going to go and decide between two almost identical black leather jackets now. Wish me luck.
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[13 Nov 2002|03:57pm] |
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i used to think getting up for promotion at 4.30 in the morning was nothing. i hated it and pulling the blankets off clint's bed and joining forces with bob to drag scott out of his was normal. listening to dad being perky and jovial and too energetic for the morning was something i'd gotten used to. and we all complained about the long days and the shit we had to do and everything wasn't ideal, but part of me misses it.
i quit because i thought i had no choice. and that's probably debatable and i probably did screw it up, but i didn't think i'd miss it so much. i got up at 11 today, had classes, met up with some friends and came back to the dorm to do some reading. nothing happened and it never seems to anymore.
i don't have the right to be moaning about college. i chose to do it, i could still be on the road with the others and i ended it. and i don't regret it and i do. it's just days like today when nothing happens, i feel as though i'm not doing anything, i've faded into the masses and there's nothing special about what i'm doing and who i am. make your bed and lie in it i guess.
*shrugs* most of the time, i'm pretty happy. school's good, i enjoy it and i've got great friends and a good job and i like what i'm doing over all. a boyfriend would make life better, but after the thing with nick, i should be lonely and depressed for at least another month or so.
i should write about that sometime. not now. i swore i'd start my reading.
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[11 Nov 2002|11:04am] |
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not much is going on. i'd prefer to be able to type a long entry and say that the morning has been interesting and exciting and all that sort of thing, but it hasn't. school's dragging me down lately. my brothers couldn't believe i was actually going to do it and sometimes i can't either. it's interesting though, but so much work. i'm drowning under reading, cursing myself for picking the only subjects that seem to involve reading a book a week plus other stuff. i'm crazy.
call me an idiot, but i got word there was stuff out there from scott's new band. i downloaded it. he hasn't got around to showing me anything yet and it's not too bad. calling a song the fuck song is typical scott though. i don't know what i think. it's better than some of the pusch stuff clint and bob we're doing, but it makes it seem final now. the moffatts are over. we have been for a year now and scott has a new band who everyone seems interested in. good for him. he was always the musical one, but- it feels unusual at the same time. not weird, because i'm glad it's over. i like what i'm doing, i like the freedom, but. . .
scott's doing what he loves, so are the twins and i'm enjoying what i'm doing. that's all that it should come down to. but i almost feel as though its also the final separation in us as brothers, this whole phase is over in my life, our lives and i don't know how exactly to respond to that.
*laughs* i shouldn't try and get deep. it doesn't work. congratulations scott anyway. i think the boston post will suit you.
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[10 Nov 2002|07:44pm] |
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i got a journal.
i'm dave moffatt. yes i'm the brother who broke up the band. *laughs* that's the only way anyone seems to remember me now. . .
there is stuff going on in my life though. i'm at school now, majoring in english. the vet rumour wasn't true.
. . .the gay rumour was though.
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