| My thoughts at this point... |
[09 Nov 2003|09:06am] |
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mood |
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dark, cold, but still luvin u! |
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music |
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Television.... Nightmare before Christmas... |
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My thoughts at this point and time are different from what they once were... and are all summed up below
More people are alive today , than have ever died, but so what if that is true, how many more have tried.. Some people think that they are perfect, but how many of them cried.. Laid in bed while thoughts rushed through their head... just wanted to die... If you think I am perfect, your terribly mistaken, for there is no one worst than I... So you may think I am happy deep down inside... Have you ever thought I put up my walls, just asking for help... Do you really think I can do this by myself? Oh, forget it for now, it is already to late...... For now I am going to leave it all behind and there is no time to waste... I must go and leave you all... And take my long awaited fall... I'm dying slowly, bit by bit.. Taking it so slow... I want to feel pain so much before i go... So now I say good bye to you... and all who I had once loved.. No it isn't death and it is not sucide.. I am letting out the monster.. who has been waiting deep i n s i d e...
that is how I feel some times... ^ that is a poem I wrote by myself. I get so sad sometimes, I just want to die... I just hate everything.... Yesterday, Certain people said things to me, that I felt I could not take... I was pushed to my edge.. and the "raquel" that you kno is now gone... Gone, for a time, that i cannot estimate..So as I write this.. I am wishing to die.. fo rif i did.. maybe then it would be for the best.. I am changing.. in more ways than one.... physically, emotionally, mentaly.. slowly going insane... slipping in and out of reality.. soon to be my own thoughts, to live in MY world.. and remain alone... forever... So maybe... it WOULD be better if I diedBut for now.. that is not an option...
I love you all....
I LOVE CHRISTIAN
AND KELSEY
I HATE CERTAIN PEOPLE...
<33 Luvin U alwayz...
The Dark Minded Klown...
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| MizZunDaZtooD |
[09 Nov 2003|07:12pm] |
I am so misunderstood.. I mean.. My poem Is not about sucide... or dying.. it is about me letting go of al i have been holding on to.... to stop hiding.. To let go of everything... NOT dying..
All I ever wanted, is some one to understand.. To listen to what I have to say, and hold me by my hand.. I wish some one could relate to me, but still no one can.. I am all alone... I know that I am... No never mind, I am never alone... for some one is always with me, Never am I on my own.. To you I seem ok, You think I am sane.. But you will never feel, all of my pain... It hurts when I wake, To know how my day is going to be... Alwayz the same old thing, Everyone hating me... I am not going to die, But "me" as you know is now gone.. Singing the same old southwest song.. SO i will leave now telling you only this.. incase you couldnt tell.. I will not be missed
<33 Killer Klown!
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