| // . [Updating] |
[27 Apr 2009|03:55pm] |
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It's been a long time since I have posted in here. Close to two years actually. Crazy. A lot has happened but at this point I don't even know where to begin. A lot of drama happened and that's a good use of a Journal in a sense and I haven't posted any of it. I moved recently, about 4 months ago to be exact, and I was hoping it was going to change a lot, or at least some of the main things that have been bothering me over the years. But alas it has not changed a thing. And once again I am stuck. All I can do is hope for the best, and for the courage to change these things in a quick hurry, because it's past "about time" they did change. I know I can, it just seems like another "Matter of time" deal and I am sick of waiting on that. But who knows, we will see where it goes, as always...in time.
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| // . + [New Update] - |
[09 Feb 2007|05:14pm] |
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So...I have had a lot happen since my last update. A lot of it I won't really mention because it wouldn't be a good idea. But some of it I will. I guess basically.. I have fallen for people I have no chance with. I know getting over it and moving on is the easiest thing to do, or it would make things easier but it's not easy to do that. It just seems like everyone I begin to like, has no interest in me at all...not in that way. And the people that do, don't look for what I do out of a relationship. I just can't deal with people wanting one thing out of me, or claiming to care and then not really caring. I know not all people are like that...but the ones I find usually are. I just want to get lucky for once in my life and find someone that makes me feel amazing, that I can do the same for...without it being fake to them. I will update again soon.
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| Reluctant Life |
[08 Nov 2006|03:30pm] |
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Well, once again I am writing in my Journal. Surprised? A lot has happened lately. I am no longer living in Oshkosh, I moved to Sheboygan. I am 20 years old as of november 6th, and I play a different game now called Dark Ages. Lately...I feel strained. I go onto Dark Ages and feel nothing but hatred, or boredom. I'm not sure why exactly...I guess recent events have changed a lot of things in my life. Even my feelings for the game and playing it. I guess one of the reasons I don't like it much is because my friend Raquel played, and that's why I came back, but now she can't get back on. I think even if she could, she wouldnt want to because...the game got old for her. Totally understandable though. My friend Aryanna probably thinks I hate her, and I don't I am just to caught up in other things to bother going on a game I can't really stand anymore...I have to much going on to get sidetracked by other things. I feel mean because, there is someone I want so spend so much time with, and it's not her. Ever since this other person came into my life I havent had much time for her, and I introduced her to Dark Ages....and now I hardly go on. I don't know...I shouldnt feel bad because, the person I want to spend all my time with, is someone I am dateing. Anyways, I guess that's enough jabbering for now. I will continue, but can't promise when. I always say I will and hardly ever update. So once again sorry for being "On Hiatus" so to speak.
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| [Teh] Bleh [Meh] |
[18 Aug 2006|09:02pm] |
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Ok so like...I know I have not updated in a longass time, as you can see. But eh...what can I say. Life has been very interesting lately. I dun really know what to say about it so right now I just wont. I shall tomorrow *runs away*
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| Once again: |
[11 May 2006|07:10pm] |
Once again I have been neglecting my blurty journal...it seems like either it's because I keep forgetting to come back to it, or I just dont have much to say...or maybe it's just that I have so much to say and don't think I can write it all...or perhaps I have a lot to say that no one will be interested in hearing. Anyways here is my update:
I still don't have a decent job, or one that is more than part-time which sucks. I need a job desperatly. I am back into a game I used to play called Astonia. I lost it due to not being able to keep up with payments but hope I can keep my account and charectors this time. Other than that I guess not much to say. Update soon, I promise =D
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| Another Loss: |
[26 Mar 2006|07:04am] |
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Once again my palace is gone. If any of you know what that is....and it sucks to keep having to let Avatar Planet go. I suppose eventually I will have it open, and be able to keep it up. The longest I ever had a palace online was about 6 months. Which I guess is a nice number but...a year sounds so exciting and I want more than that. This is going to be a short entry but I will write again soon =D <3 all my friends!
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| Long time...no type: |
[14 Mar 2006|01:59am] |
Ah yes, once again I have managed to completely ignore the call of my journal. It's been quite a while once again so I guess I have a lot to say. I don't really know where I should start first but what is a journal for...I should blurt as much as I can out right now. I hope I don't forget once again. Anyways here it goes. For christmas I wen't to my anual family christmas party on my dad's side. It was fun and it was great catching up with everyone. We played fun games, ate tons of food...had my aunts fudge which I have to say...it's amazing. So anyways I was talking with my cousin april most of the time and she figured we should catch up and see more of eachother. I completely agree'd. The thing about that is...I ended up going to her house a few weeks after that. It was fun but...some problems started. I started hanging out with some of my old friends from west bend and it was great to see them again. One of the days I was there...it was around 11pm...I had some music on quietly and was sitting next to the speakers so I could hear it better...anyways the guy downstairs apparently has ears like a rabbit or a dog and heard the music. He came upstairs saying something like "Hey, I was just wondering if you could turn the music down, I have a baby downstairs trying to sleep and your music is kind of loud, I am not trying to be a prick but...." So anyways I agreed to everything he said and was respectful. Even though my music was quiet as hell I still turned it down. So anyways I ended up going home wednesday instead of friday like I was supposed to because I didnt want to be an inconvinience to my cousin april, she said wednesday would be an easier day for her to take me home. So I did. A few weeks later I call her up wondering if I could go back because I missed my friends and her and wanted to see everyone up in west bend again...she said "Well I am busy this weekend but maybe in a few weeks if you call back, but hey...I have to talk to you about something..." So I said ok...well I find out that jackass downstairs called the cops a few days after I left because april's TV was on. Next thing you know that shithead finds out that I am no longer there, and he said he wouldnt have called the cops, but he did because he thought it was me. So now my cousin is kind of angry about something she shouldnt be...and once again our trust is down the shitter for something I didnt do. Besides that not much is going on but I will be sure to update this again as soon as I can. Hope I didnt bore anyone. Later!
- Melphix.
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| Been a while: |
[03 Nov 2005|08:25pm] |
Hey, not sure how long it has been since i've updated my journal. Sorry it's been so long, I am probably one of the only people that reads it...but anyways. Just for a life story update...I am almost 19 years old which would make chrissy 17 years old. Happy birthdays chrissy! Sorry I didnt say that every year! I guess I don't really know what else to say in this journal except I moved once again... and I am hoping to move AGAIN. I hope I can because I don't want to be in this town anymore...and maybe not even this damn state. Anyways I will update again soon I have a few things I have to do and w/e so....later, love all my friends! <3 talk to you all soon and dont lose touch because I lose enough people as it is!
- Melphix / Jeremy.
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| Dramatic Party. PART ONE: TO BE CONTINUED! |
[17 May 2005|02:56am] |
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So to start off I guess I can explain a little bit before I get into everything right away and everyone is like "WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT"...I haven't seen my moms cousin and her friend boz. They are both really good friends of mine and are fun to party with. So anyways it was about 7 months I didn't see then and I was so excited that they were coming because it was my mom and her husbands anniversary. It's not that they live far...only about 10-15 minutes away but they get busy, and work a lot so...anyways, we were going to party with them. First lydia and her daughter amanda came *Yes, again...* a day before debbie and boz did. The day debbie and boz came me and everyone else were so happy. So we were all going to party and drink a lot that night. Before we started to party they went to the porn store, and they wanted to get the game "Pass Out". It's a really fun drinking game that gets you really drunk. Anyways...they didnt end up getting that. Instead we got Sex Trivia because they could'nt find pass out at the porn store. They also bought some pacifiers that had small little dicks at the end XD for the woman. They all had one and it was really odd. So we ended up having a pretty good time until about 1AM. My mom and her husband wen't to bed for the night, and everyone else stayed awake but then our neighbor debbie, cousin deb, and lydia all started getting into it and fighting. I was of course upset because it was my mom and her husbands anniversary. Our neighbor started pulling lydia's hair for no reason, and so lydia pulled her's back. Then started pulling even harder. So anyways my cousin debbie is about 43 and she is kind of big, and she goes over to deb and tells her "You don't lay a fucking hand on my friend". *Which would be lydia*. So anyways boz kept telling deb to go home because she was causing too much shit. She kept saying no. Boz and bill (Bill is my moms husband) had to stop debbie and lydia from beating the shit out of deb. Holding them back and all...But actually before that I started to yell at lydia, because I just wanted everyone to stop the shit. She runs out the door and I go to chase her and all she says is "Fuck you!" "Fuck you!" "GET AWAY FROM ME, FUCK YOU!"....I wasn't to happy about that because I was the only one acting like an adult and I was the youngest one at the party by a long shot. So anyways my mom left and I didnt know and went out to find lydia. I found josh down the street *My younger brother* and asked him what he was doing up, and being outside when it was 1:30 in the morning...he said he went to find mom. He spotted them so I chased after them. Finally I found them, my mom told me to leave because she needed to talk to lydia. But I had to talk to her and I stayed. All she could ask was "Why did you bitch at me?" "Yeah but why did you bitch at me?". I simply told her I wasnt trying to yell at a certain person I just wanted all of the shit to end. After I got it worked out with lydia mom and lydia took a walk because my mom needed to talk with her. I wen't home and was so upset, almost the whole time I was crying my eyes out. I got so depressed I ended up calling my sister. There is more to tell but I am kind of tired so...this is PART ONE: TO BE CONTINUED! Date of Anniversary: Sunday, the 15th, 2005. This mostly took place the 15th and some of the 16th.
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| Memories of Past Moments. |
[12 May 2005|02:42am] |
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So today I guess a lot of things went through my mind. Things I didn't expect. For one I was always bragging to everyone how close I am to my older sister steph. True she is my best friend and will always be close to my heart. But when I think about it she was more for her friends than she ever was for me. Her friends came before me and she wen't to hang out with them more than me. Sure that is probably a completely normal thing but I always thought we were much closer. Now that I think about it we are very close, but not as close as I thought. Another thing that crossed my mind were memories of The Palace (Virtual Chat Program). When I owned them and attended other ones. I had the best staff members that could be had. We had a lot of fun and did a lot of really crazy stuff. I miss those times and could go back to them because it hasnt really been that long since I have been on. But I don't know if right now is the right time to go back. I can still talk to the friends and still do talk to a lot of them. But from a few years ago I had friends on there that I have lost contact with or they lost contact with me. I guess that is how it goes. Anyways...onto another subject. I am thinking about making another website. This will be yet another one that will go on unfinished. I havent ever "Finished" a website. Sure, websites are NEVER finished to begin with because they need change and updates to stay busy, attractive and popular....but for the most part people do finish in some form...by getting their base site done and then updating later. I don't think I have done that but once I buy a domain I know I will. Well, I should go for now. Until later!
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| Bug-eyed Emergency |
[09 May 2005|01:32am] |
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I guess this entry of mine is going to be almost unlike anything you might read on someone's journal. Right now it is about 1:33am in the morning. Yesturday, me and my friend were still on the computers like I said because we stayed up all night so I suppose you can call this a continuence except for the fact that it is the next day. Anyways...we were just talking away and on my computers, and watching TV having a good time because hell...it was mothers day and my friend's mom (Amanda is my friend) *Lydia is her mom* Lydia, was over with amanda because my mom and her mom are best friends. My mom wen't out to the store because she got some icecream to go with the cake for mother's day, and so my baby sisters could have some icecream...anyways I keep rambling on. So Lydia, amanda and I are all talking about wierd crap when all of the sudden my brother comes in screaming his head off talking about something "Killing him". At first I did'nt understand and I told him to stop screaming so loud because the neighbors will call the police for some false reason. After a few minutes he was still freaking out and screaming but he says it's killing him again. I asked him what was killing him and what hurt, and he told me a bug fell in his ear when he was near an office building. My brother is 13 by the way. So I asked Lydia if I should call 911 for an emergency because it was hurting him really bad and he said it felt like he was eating him from the inside. I was about to call 911 but then my brother ran out the door and used the neighbors phone. So I figured I could'nt do anything because he already called and if we both called that would be a little pathetic and they would think something was up. So anyways every 3-5 minutes he would start screaming his head off and crying because it hurt really bad. He handed me the neighbors cellphone and I had to talk to the lady and she was asking me questions and then told me to stay on the line with her. I finally got off the phone with her because she said the ambulence was on the way. It took them about 10 minutes to get here maybe longer because we live a few miles from anything really...and the place they were going to take us was on the other side of town. So I get inside to wait for the ambulence though and I look and my mom and her boyfriend both have cellphones, so I was going to call them about this and tell them to get home from shopping but would'nt you know neither of them brought their cellphones with them. So anyways I started freaking out while waiting for either my mom to come home from shopping since I couldnt get ahold of her I was at least hoping she was done shopping and on her way home. But I was talking to amanda and lydia telling them, I didnt know why mom and her husband had to pick that certain time to go shopping. It wasnt her fault, it wasnt anyones fault but I was under more preasure than usuall and that's a lot. So anyways she didnt show up before the ambulence so I had to ride along with him since I was the only blood relative there that was 18. So we get in the ambulence and go to the aurora health center. We get into the room and he kind of started freaking out once again. The doctor apparently had to drain his ear because there was too much earwax but it was way in the back of his ear where you cant even see it which isnt a good thing. So he drains his ear a bit and the main doctor comes in and checks his ear and says all that is in there is earwax and there isnt a bug. If you ask me that wasnt very proffessional because he came to a conclusion way to fast and he ended up being wrong because then he left the room and the doctor that was draining his ear continued to do it (Not the doctor that said there was no bug) and wouldnt you know it my mom shows up with her husband. They come in and we are all still sitting and the doctor drained his ear completely and the bug came out. So like I said...not very proffessional when a doctor makes accusations before he should have. After they got the bug out all they did was started to make some jokes...I couldnt laugh although I beleive I usually would have laughed at the jokes but I was under too much preasure to laugh at anything anyone could have said. The reason for this title is because the doctor said it is usually bug-eyed instead of bug-eared. Which was my brother josh's situation with the ear. At the hospital and the drive home I was the most quiet person you could meet I didnt know what to think. All I know is I felt bad for josh...seing him in so much pain and not being able to help him...having to go in the ambulence with him. It's not that I didn't want to but it was so sudden and a lot to take in. I guess I wrote this for future reference...be ready for anything, but live life to the fullest. I know how hard it is to try to find the good in so much bad but it's worth a try at least. Maybe one day I will be successful in that area...or perhaps not. Either way, he is feeling better now. He has had some bad luck with bugs though because about 6 years ago me and my brother went to a park when we lived in Neenah, and we ended up meeting this kid. We were all walking and while we started walking we must have stepped on an underground bee-hive because we all turned around and a swarm with about 800 or more bee's started chasing us. I ran to fast for them but josh didnt concentrate on getting away he started smacking them running left and right. He finally got out and a lady gave us a ride home. Anyways I guess I should end this for now. I will write in the journal again soon.
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| Time for an update: |
[08 May 2005|11:44am] |
I think I will be changing the look of my blurty journal....I think I have wen't with this theme a little to long what do you think? Comments are good! XD So anyways last night was really wierd. Me and a few others were drinking, and me and my friend were on computers all night. We went to wierd chatrooms and I was helping my friend scare the crap out of some people. So I got off of my computer and go on my other one with her, and she was talking to these guys with names like "Hot Guy 69" and all kinds of crap like that. I told her "Anyone who has hottie, hotstuff, stud, hot, cute, or sexy in their usernames are either ugly as hell, and have something to hide or they are cute as shit but bragging about it which makes them really moronic" She didnt beleive my theory so a few of these guys sent her pics and would'nt you know...they were ugly as hell. And some of them where on webcam as well and where also ugly as hell. So we come across this one guy on cam and we tell him to smile because we can't see his face right...well, the damn cam froze and all of the sudden his face pops up in the camera and he is smiling like holy hell...and we freaked the hell out and we could'nt stop laughing because he looked really fucking wierd, and we just busted out laughing. I know it sounds mean but this guy was wierd and rude to begin with so whatever. He was in an english chatroom and couldnt speak the language for shit. Afterwords she was surprised she stayed up all night and we are both back on the computers still doing shit and talking to eachother. It's funny as hell. We are in the same room and it's daylight and she is still freaking out once and a while that she isn't tired but thats something I am used to. Anyways I will get back to the journal later. Bye all!
- Melphix
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| Catching up. |
[29 Apr 2005|10:55pm] |
Ok, so I haven't posted in my Journal for quite a while so I guess I have a lot to say now. I currently got a few poems published...I suppose I should be more proud than I am but who knows. Life has been a pain what can I say. I have met a few new people...Stephanie is awesome! Kiwi you rock =D. And then Matthew, you rock too! lol. I moved out of my old house into a different one and I am not sure I am happy about it. I suppose I won't be until I am on my own. Which should be soon. I currently got back into Gaia Online. My best friend matt lives in florida and has for a while but like I said I havent posted in here for a long ass time. And the matt's I have mentioned are two different people. ChiiChan is also a friend of mine and her name is Raquel and she has been there for me when I needed her. As well as my other friends. My friends Sparkling Mini and Jenna (aka Lucia Angelus) are also very important to me, all of my friends are...and they have all been there for me so I thank you all for that. I have had a lot to deal with lately and everything seems to just get harder and harder but I hope soon it will all pass and get better so I can move on and get on with my life...its not as easy as people tell me it is...people are telling me if I want something I can have it but my life situation is complicated right now and I have no way of escaping my family. I dont want to leave them for good but I dont want to live with any family members anymore. I am 18 and my family (dad and older sister mainly) treat me like a child and get away with it because I live with them...as if I dont have enough preasure as it is -.- Anyways I will shut up and show you all my poem so I hope you like it.
Times of loss, and times of greed...
I always feel like I am in need.
Dreaming of ways to escape my nightmare...
looking for someone that actually might care,
friends are gone, and wont be near...
I am always moving, thats my big fear.
To afraid to get close
To sad to be alone,
My depression, my anger, are always being shown.
Please take me away, please don't bring me back..
Happiness is one emotion, I seem to lack.
I need to find love, I need to today..
but my life has a brick wall, that says its not ok.
Blocking me from the positive, and being so cruel,
I need to step up, but do not need a stool.
I will stand alone if that's what fate brings...
but I will fight fate if it means all these things...
I want love so dont stop me now,
I need to find the one, someway...somehow.
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| No Computer -.- |
[01 Apr 2005|02:28pm] |
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Uhh...ok I realize I have not posted in my Journal for a long-ass time but I haven't had a computer for a few months. I have been using other peoples but usually don't have much time on it. But anyways I am getting a new computer within a month or two maybe less so then I can finally post here again! I will be starting a website once I get my new computer. Just for now if you want to, remember I DONT HAVE IT YET but will. The domain WILL BE http://www.melphix.net/ BUT I have not purchased it yet. Once I get my new computer I will purchase the domain and space so then you can visit that. The website will include Art Posting/Contests like deviantart.com does. Also poetry posting/contests, advice collums were you can either start your own or come to the one I have if you need advice, as well as a blog, program downloads, fonts, brushes, games, and a lot more stuff. If you are interested in having an advice collumn on my website tell me now so I can reserve a space but everyone can post art and stuff. Any more ideas anyone might have please feel free to comment here or leave me a message at melphix@gmail.com or on AIM: Melphix Da Mofo I also have msn PunkxMaster616@hotmail.com is what I go by on that messanger so anyways that too. I also need an extra website designer to help with the maintanence of the site. I will be making tons of awesome layouts but I like to update with different styles, and everyone has their own style when it comes to making layouts so I want to make some and then need someone else to just to keep the creativity up. Anyways talk to you all later!
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| HooHaa! |
[15 Nov 2004|10:53am] |
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Linkin Park: Numb |
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Uhh...*Glare's at strange people* No I dont know what to do now I am so bored so I am typing in my journal. I have to go help my mom for a little bit with my babysisters and then get off to work soon. Boy thats going to be one hell of a blast...my dad wants me to move out of my moms place and in with him...screw that shit, when I get out I am getting "OUT". Not from mom to dad, that shit is dumb, I am 18, have a job, going to college soon, so I can definalty handle myself...not that I don't lo.ve (Typed it that way because of the annoyingness of the links it makes when you type the actual word pfft) my dad but you know it's time to move out on my own, I dont want him to think I hate him or something like that but crap....I am sick of my family for now I think the best thing to do would be to get a small break from all of them. So at least that way I will stop being so sick of them and actually be happy to see them more often. Besides I refuse to live with them forever even if it means if I move out I will be making things a little harder on my mom and dad. But you know, thats life and I have to move on its not that I want to do it but oh well I have to move on and get my own place and start working my ass off on my job and start taking entrance exams for the tech college I will be attending...good thing I will have an apartment because I have never been in dorms and never really care to because I just think its annoying and too risky to share a room with a student even if they go to the same school as you and you become "friends" with them...no one touches my crap I have had to deal with my little sibblings doing it WAY to long, lol. But yeah friends that I actually know, trust, and lo.ve...they can go by my stuff. lol. Well type in my journal later. -Jeremy
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| Old Friends... |
[15 Nov 2004|10:17am] |
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T.I. : Let's Get Away. |
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Chrissy I miss you so much. I complimented on your journal. I turned 18 november 6th Go Me! XD I opened a new palace it's going pretty good so far =) I had it for a day...well not even yet, but I already have so much done, still so much to go but I feel acheived...So what have you been up to? Me not much I got a car, and a new computer...been hanging out with some friends and found this really awesome anime shop downtown where I live now. Since the old one is gone which really sucks because I was like best friends with the owner at the other one. But you know it's all good because me and this new shop owner where I live now is getting to know me pretty well too. Had some family drama but that usually never seems to stop...at least in my family but I am dealing with it either way. I am going to be moving out of my house shortly. I landed a job and I will be going to tech college pretty soon, for website design, graphics design, computer engineering, and computer programming..4 major things, lol. It will be a lot to take, but I am sure I will be able to deal with it. I hope you and I can talk again really soon that would be great. My AIM: PunkxMaster616 as always, lol. Well I still love you chrissy and really want to get in-touch with you again...since you I can say honestly I havent dated anyone...even people that asked me I turned down, you where my last...and hopefully will be my only. I love you so much and really hope to hear from you soon because I miss you so much! Contact me soon ok chrissy? I love you --Jeremy
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| Dark Ages |
[26 Sep 2004|02:09pm] |
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Evanescense: Liquid Blue |
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Just a new game I started playing it is pretty cool so I think I am gonna register for it :) Its a great game. Same with Endless Online. One is free one is not XD Endless is free, Dark Ages is not, so I have to pay but oh well. XD Its well worth it. Everyone can get endless though its great also. In Alpha Stage of testing right now. But it will get to be a great game. http://www.endless-online.com http://www.darkages.com Reason I play dark ages is an old friend of mine plays it right now. Havent talked to her or angie in about 7-8 months now because I have not seen them on *cries* COME BACK!
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| For This Day.... |
[24 Aug 2004|01:54pm] |
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Amy Lee: Broken <3 GodBless! |
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A new change has approached my life...the depressed anger and deepness of the light in my soul....dreams fall heavily away from my being....I feel I have lost myself....I cant find a way out of this hole...
Poem in progress -.- I kinda bite at this crap though....I hope that soon I can find a way to change because I am a little too superficial... -.- I am sick of it too but I dont really know how to help it. It's constant....people younger than me and around my age...even older than me even....judging people they do not know...who are they to judge anyone?? If everyone just got along better or stopped judging others because they feel "cool" or just like to judge people...or even because of other people....it shows how weak we all are weather we admit it or not...I am just sick of it all....Maybe growing up isnt that bad...no one wants to ...but maybe thats the cooincedance of being an ass....I have changed lately and technically I hate change but in this case it is good...well please comment. Out there somewhere also...I have missed dearly...2 people. Christina Ryan...I still love you so much and miss you a lot! I hope we can still make our plans work. Also...Angie...a great friend of mine I have not seen online for 6 months...close to 7.....I want you hear with me...I miss you so much so come back to be...I pray you are alright. I miss you so much!
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| Hospital Khaoz |
[24 Aug 2004|01:44pm] |
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Amy Lee: Broken |
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A prayer is in order today...for my aunt connie...who is now in the hospital...she has around a 10% chance of survival...hoping she gets better, my family is a wreck...not just immediate family....my entire family...if you can find the time to pray for her survival even though you may not know her...God Bless!
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| ...:::On This Day:::... |
[27 Jul 2004|02:14pm] |
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Linkin Park: In The End |
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Today I have ran into an old online friend. Thea worked at one of my palaces http://www.thepalace.com and then one day I got a note saying she quit....months and months later (Today) She tells me it was not her that had left the note....so I closed my palace for nothing. But today, she now works at my latest and best one ever! It was great hearing from her again and now knowing I can talk to her a lot because she is back is a great thing! Welcome back Thea!
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