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Tuesday, June 22nd, 2004
4:23 pm - Quick little story that just popped in my head.
It was a dark cold musty night, she thoughtt maybe a walk would do her some good.
She'd been fellin stressful n unable to sleep. thot a good long alone walk thru the woods
might help with some tension.she started walkin thinkin bout the men she'd met not long
say 3days ago at a local coffee shop, Stan, was his name. nice lookin guy broad shoulder well dressed
wonderful smile n quite the friendly guy..didn't bother gettin her number n such just a decent
down to earth conversation.something she'd never been able to was always a few drinks
few laffs tryin to get her number later leadin to gettin into her bedroom
but this guy was smooth, n a sweet talker nonethe less.she kept walkin turned back and noticed her house was
no longer in view..she'd gona out a little too far she started to turn to walk back
she hears a whisper comin through the mist, sweet voice of a man saying
"what brings such beauty into the midnight forest on this forsaken day?"
she looked around to see no one, so she asks "who's there, i can't see you, please come out where i can see you"
her eyes lighten up as she sees Stan walk through the trees up a little ways. she smiles and says
"what brings such a gentle man to these part of the woods" Stan smiles at her and replies
"i have yet to find the woman that belongs to the name Cynthia that i met not long ago at a lil distant caffee shop
not far from here" She smiles n says " well i'm not sure i'm quite the woman you are lookin for, but i do believe i go
by the name of Cynthia to my friends" Stan slowly walks over to her and pulls her hair away from her face.
Glancing down at her he sighs with a smile and says "you're absolutely beautiful and i can not stop thinking about you"
She looks up at him and replys "thank you, you are a kind man with kindly words"
"these are not just words my dear, i see an angel before me and i'm afraid of walking away and never seeing her again"
Cynthia feels her knees weaken as she breathes in his smell and he takes her hands in his and pulls her closer.He wraps his arms
around her pressin his body against hers, slowly tilts his head down n presses his lips against hers. Her knees weaken
and begin to shake as she gets nervous yet excited at the same time.She tilts her head slowly as she begins kissin him
feeling his tongue slide in and out of her mouth as she sucks on it gently.Wiggling her tongue around his as she feels him
pressing himself tighter against her.His hands slowly moving up and down over her body, caressing her skin softly as he slowly
pulls her blouse over his head.He pulls her away slowly gazing into her eyes as he cups his hands over her breasts.Slowly he titls
his head down kissing her breasts as he squeezes them firmly. He looks into her eyes and says "my love, i would love nothing more,
than to make love to you on this wonderful night." She slowly lifts his shirt over his head kissing his chest gently, then slowly lays
back onto the cold dark ground.Smiles up at him and lifts her skirt up to her midthigh.Stan slowly falls to his knees and admires the
view before him and kisses her all over makin sweet pationate love to her body with his tongue and lips.He slides his hands under her
pressing her buttcheeks in his hands as he pulls her up onto his face.Leaning down and sucking her clit into his mouth, loving it
as if it were the last time he'd ever enjoy the taste of woman again.Cynthia arches her back as she tilts her head back moaning in
extasy, grabbing his long beautiful hair in her hands and pressing him against her.He begins to taste her wonderful juices in his mouth as
they drip down into his mouth.She begins to moan louder and louder and pushes him away just before her orgasim and begs him to push his
thick hard throbbing cock inside her.She tells him how much she needs and wants him, to feel him in her.He lays over her, pressing himself
against her so tight as if they were one person.Slowly he slides himself inside her feeling her tight pussy muscles tighten against his cock,
she wraps her legs around him as she thursts her hips up towards him everytime he pushes down against her.They both begin to feel the
orgasim building,both begin pumping against each other.She moans n calls his name begging him to shoot his hot cum deep inside her as
she squeezes him tighter and tighter during her amazing orgasim.He tilts his head down and bites down on her shoulder as he begins to cum.
She tugs his hair and screams his name.They're bodies loosen up as they both struggle to catch their breath,gazing into each others eyes.
They slowly lift themselves from the ground looking at each other in amazement."I must be going, i've been gone quite a while" Cynthia
tells him in a soft scratchy voice almost to be nervous.Stan steps back away from her and replies;"Yes dear, i too have to be going,for
this seems to have been something unexpected".Cynthia looks at him smiling and whispering "If i not were the married woman that i am today
i would love to follow you into a long and wonderful life together".Stan looks up at her in shock "I too am married,and yet, i wish this
night to never end and never have to walk away from you".Cynthia dashes at him, kissing him long and hard "Then don't leave me, meet me here
tomorrow night, same time, same place".Stan squeezes her tight against him "I'll look forward to it more than i have anything else
in my entire life".Slowly then turn and walk away, smiling and feeling that love and lust for each other that they'd so longed for and
searched for thinking they would never find it.

current mood: thoughtful

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Sunday, May 30th, 2004
2:55 pm - He just sang that song to me on the phone....
Hey you,
Mrs. I-don't-know-what-the-fuck-your-name-is,
I'm drawn to you.
Something's magnetic here.
If I could approach you
or even get close to the scent
that you left behind, that'd be fine
No doubt that (no doubt)
you bring out (out)
the an-i-mal inside

I'D EAT YOU ALIVE!!!! i'd eat you alive.....
I'D EAT YOU ALIVE!!!! i'd eat you alive......

Hey you,
Mrs. too-good-to-look-my-way
and that's cool you want nothing at all to do with me.
But I want you,
ain't nothing wrong with wanting you cause
I'm a man and I can think what the hell I want,
you got that straight?

No doubt that (no doubt),
I'd love to (id love)
sniff on them panties now.

I'D EAT YOU ALIVE!!!! i'd eat you alive.....
I'D EAT YOU ALIVE!!!! i'd eat you alive......

I'm sorry. So sorry (damn, you're so hot!!)
Your beauty is so vague (damn you're so hot!!)
it drives me,yes it drives me (damn your so hot)
absolutely insane

I just want to look at you
I just want to look at you, look at you all day
I just want to look at you, I just want to look at you all day
There ain't nothing wrong, no. There aint nothing wrong with that.

Once you seep in (once u seep in)
under my skin (under my skin)
theirs nothin(nothin) theirs nothin (nothin)
in this world that could wash you away (wash you away)

Once you seep in (Once u seep in)
under my skin (under my skin)
theirs nothin(nothin) theirs nothin (nothin)
in this world that could wash you away (wash you away)

I'm sorry. So sorry (damn, you're so hot!!)
Your beauty is so vague? (damn you're so hot!!)
it drives me,yes it drives me(damn your so hot)
absolutely insane

I'D EAT YOU ALIVE!!!! i'd eat you alive.....
I'D EAT YOU ALIVE!!!! i'd eat you alive......


gawd i love listening to him play and sing for me!!!
He's the best!!
I LOVE YOU HB!!!!!!!

current mood: turned on
current music: Limp Bizkit - Eat you alive

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1:46 pm - Heaven
I feel like i just died and went to heaven. I am floating in the air. HB came over to see me and just left. We spent the last 4 hours of this day talking about everything and nothing. But that last hour, that last moment of the 4 hours was by far the most amazing of my ever so lived life. We souls were so united with each other that i can still feel him inside me. The way he can make love to me without undressing me. He laid me back on my bed, softly brushed his fingertips over my body from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. Gently pressed his lips against mine and said "I love you". Put his hand over my eyes and closed them as he whispered in my ear "make love to me". Layed over me and wrapped my arms around his body as he held me close. Pressing himself against me and holding me so tight i could feel his heartbeat next to mine. Kissing my softly and whispering in my ear that he loves me and he needs me. I have never felt that intensity with anyone while still having every bit of clothing on me still. The way my heart was beating as i got more and more excited, the way he'd hold me tighter with every breath. God, if you can hear me now,if there really is a, God, i need him in my life more than ever. Nothing in this world could convince me now that it's not meant to be. I want to run outside and just scream to the top of my lungs "I LOVE YOU HB"!!!!!!!!!!!
I have never felt so much love for anybody and i don't want to lose that, EVER.

current mood: loved
current music: Evanescence - Anywhere

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Tuesday, April 27th, 2004
12:44 pm - First Entery..
Well i don't really know how to start.This is an idea of my friend, to keep from going insane.A lil about myself..
Single(somewhat),not looking.I love to draw,i definatly love music.It's a huge part of my life.I can feel music inside me,there's a small part of me that intercedes with a song.I'm a hard worker, i have a great job.And i have worked hard to get it and i have earned it.I am extremly proud of myself.
But the whole purpose of this journal, is basically to feel relief of of things on my mind.
I am in love, so in love that i can feel him inside me each and every day of my life. I can smell him and feel him inside me,loving me.It's the most amazing feeling ever.And i know he loves me just as much.So what's the problem? He has a girlfriend, whom he loves, and has been with for years.I just recently came into his life.Not a day goes by that i don't talk to him.HB is like, that missing part of my life, that if i could have the perfect life.It would be with him, married with children and a small house.Yes, i know the perfect little picket fence.But it's not possible, i won't allow him to hurt her.Or allow him to leave her for me.I could not live with regrets, or wondering the rest of my life if he coulda been happier with her, or if maybe he wishes he'd done it differant.Yes, we have our little spats, like everyone does.But we have never been able to get through one.There is not anything i can't tell him. He is my best friend, my lover, my life.And sometimes i just want to run to him hold my hands open and say "Lets go baby, lets just runaway together and be happy in an island where nobody can ever find us" Then reality kicks in and i realise it can't happen.There is not anything i wouldn't do for him, and i know he'd do anything for me.Now the problem is, jealousy, i am so jealous of the fact i can't tell everybody "He's mine.This is my man, this is my lover and i love him with all my heart."We flirt so much with each other but everybody's used to it as it being just a flirt.We flirt with everybody else just as much.And everybody thinks we're just the best,we're fun and get along so well with everybody.But when it's just him and i. There's not a thing in this world that could slide between us, not a single strand of hair.We are perfectly one person with 2 heartbeats.The way he looks at me, the touch, his kisses.The way he holds me and tells me he loves me with just looking into my eyes.The way my sking tingles with every touch of his fingertips.The way he doesn't want to let me go when we have to seperate.The way he makes me feel like i'm the woman i want to be, the way he makes me feel wanted and loved and needed like never before.He is my every wish come true.And sometimes it's so hard to pretend he's a "friend".The things one does for love. It's worth every tear that flows from this face.

current mood: thoughtful
current music: Nightwish - Crownless

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