Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in David's Blurty:

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Tuesday, February 1st, 2005
12:14 pm	Bye Bye! Alrighty... Well I'm leaving this journal. I have relocated to www.livejournal.com/users/heartstone1 It's been fun and now it's time for us to part ways. ttyl. PLUR, Darkawareness. (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 13th, 2005
11:32 am	Quick Update Welcome to 2005. I said a quick update and so that's what I'm doing. let's see... I'm taking better care of myself by working out @ 24hr fitness, I just got a part time job w/ World Wide Imports (a.k.a. the sword store) and I'm clean of everything. No weed, no cigarettes, no alchohol, no nothin'. I picked up the no pop/chocolate thing again and I'm watching what I eat in general. I have a page typed of fucking resolutions and the first week kicked my ass so hard. I've picked my tarot cards back up and am trying to rebuild there. Laurel is S.M. for the musical that just started so I won't be seeing her nearly as much as I wish. A funny thing happened the other night. A bunch of us were over at her dad's house, and she pulled on my necklace (the one from ren-fest with the thespian masks and the yin yang on the back) and it broke. I was so attached to that necklace that it isn't even funny. It actually hurt me when the pendant broke off. But the funny thing is that I haven't fixed it. I feel almost released. I think it broke because it was supposed to break. Gah! Sidetracked... let's see... well, I guess that's about it. I just wish that I could take back the last month or two. I generally have very few regrets in my life but I think that regret is just what I needed to humble me and push me to do better. I miss Laura. I only got to see her once while she was in town and I think that I might have messed something up. In all truth, I don't remember much of the last two months. I'm sorry to all whom I have effected. Well, that is all for now so yall have a good day and may peace favor your sword. PLUR, David Current Mood: calm Current Music: Kool 105... Boo Yah! (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 30th, 2004
1:54 pm	I just wanted to write and say... I'm alright. I haven't been for quite a while and I'm sorry if I haven't been what I should have been. I was lost but now am found; was blind, but now can see. I'm Back! Current Mood: peaceful (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 15th, 2004
12:27 am	It sure has been a while. I'm back. Sorry for the absence of entries but life has been interesting as of late. I haven't been doing very well. I don't know exactly what has happened, but I feel very lost. Infact, at this moment, Laurel, My Mother, and Jesse & Andrew are the only things that are keeping me sane. I have had some very fun times but the time should have been put to something else. This is not a time in my life where I can stall. I need to be moving forward but it seems as though I'm moving backwards. I haven't gotten to see Laurel in quite a while. We hung out for a couple of hours on her birthday (last sunday) and it was so good just to see her and be around her. I'm not being the type of boyfriend that she deserves. I am just now getting my shit together and I feel so bad that I don't have enough money to take her out to dinner every now and then or get her a nice present just for the hell of it. That is the type of bf that I want to be but I'm unable to right now. Depression sucks ass... ya know that? I don't know how to beat it right now. I feel like I used to feel before theater and before I was introduce to the world of PLUR. I've been applying for jobs. Just applied to work at Gart Sports online. That's a nifty feature. I did some laundry today and I plan on a full out job search tomarrow w/ white shirt and a tie. If nothing comes up, I might do what I said I would never do. I might see if I could work at the movie theater. I could most definately get a job there with a recomendation from maddie. I don't want to but it would be income and a job is a job. Mabey I could work days at the theater and have some night stocking position. That would be nice. No time to contemplate things. That is something that I can do to a fault at times. I can overthink. I've been working out more lately. That is a good sign. I got this free pass thing to 24 hour fitness and have been going there. The pass runs out soon but soon I will have a job and I can get a punch pass to the Goodson Rec. Center. They have some nice things and I would like to have a gym avalible to me. I like to lift sometimes and play basketball and swim and just excersize. I would like to do the 24 hour fitness thing because I'm a night owl and I will work out at all hours of the morning. I like the fact that if I so felt the urge, I could go do some laps right now. I could go lift or shoot some hoops. But the start up fee is such that it is out of my range. I might ask my mother if that could be my christmas gift. Laurel suggested that I ask for a course or two at like metro or acc, but I'm not in a place right now where I want to go to school. I mean, I would rather be off in some dorm going to some college, but I know that it would just be an enormous waste of time and money, neither of which I can afford to loose much of right now. I feel like the last month has been a waste of my time. I have quit smoking (yes... again) but this time it really does feel different. I don't feel the urge to smoke around my friends who do, I haven't had a cigarette in over a month, and I haven't had tobacco at all in like 3 weeks. It is going very well and Laurel is happy about that. I'm happy about that. Besides... I don't have the money for cigarettes so I guess it's good I don't smoke them anymore :-) Laura G. comes back on the 17th (my sister's graduation from CSU is on the 17th too) and whitney comes back on the 18th. I have missed both of them very very much. I had some of the best times of my life this summer with Laura and I love to hang out with her and just be. That is something that is so amazing about Laura is that I can just open up to her more than anyone else. Talk about amazing company. Whitney... well it is always great to have whitney back in town. The group just isn't complete without her here. "The group" that I refer to has pretty much disbanded and gone our separate ways, but they are still some of the best friends that I have and have ever had. Hell, Maddie is my best friend (Jesse's right up there too), Millie is such a sweetheart and is extreamly dear to me, Whitney is one of the most infulential figures that I have had in the last years and will always be close to my heart, and Laurel (the most influential) I'm in love with. Ellen, Kendal, everyone who was there that one night at kendal's where we tried to play light as a feather stiff as a board. what a night. Ahh... so nostalgic. Back to the days when everything was good. That was the happiest time in my life. sigh. I'm worried about Maddie. She seems lost too. She's been going through some tough times and I don't feel like I've been there for her. I just hope that she can find what she's looking for. I'm quitting Rocky. It has just gotten to that point with me where it is more hastle than fun. The show has changed so much from the Rocky that I fell in love with. So many politics. It's still fun but it is a different kind of fun than what it used to be. I am still going to be going to Rocky on and off when I can and I still hope to hang out with my friends on cast. I know I won't loose touch with Kate, but other than that, I'm not sure. I hope dearly to remain friends with Megan and Danny and such folks who I love very much. I just am unsure if I will because the show is the major connection that I have with them. Truth be told, I haven't hung out with Danny outside of a Saturday night (sunday morning) in months. I hope not to loose them but the future has yet to be writ. Life is like a bottle of un-marked pills that you find in the middle of the street... ya never know what you're gonna get. I've been hanging out a lot more with Jesse and Andrew. That's been nice. I need to be around m'boys sometimes. I just like being able to be stupid with them. Things aren't taken so seriously. I can joke around and just be a guy. That's nice. I like it when only Jesse and I hang out because he is my best male friend and we connect on so many levels. Also, I like it when just Andrew and I hang out. I don't think he's magical (a muggle if you will). It makes him so real and we are always so courtious. I helped him with his waterbed the other week when he was having trouble with it and it was cool just to hang out and talk and work on a project. Like the way tech used to be. Anywho, I think that it is about time for me to hit the sack because I have a long day of job hunting ahead of me. Plus, (good that I remembered) I am meeting Carly at school and we are going in to see Mrs. Palmer. I miss Mrs. P. soooo much! She always kept me thinking and on my toes and was a pleasure to be around. Carly and I have gone out for coffee a few times and that is really nice. Talking to someone who graduated last year and is going through some of the same things is nice. It makes me feel like I'm not all alone. Well, off to bed for me. May peace find you in chaos, may hope fill you in the darkest of days, and may Love lift you upon the seraphims wings. PLUR, David (Comment on this)
Monday, November 8th, 2004
9:54 am	blah. Blah blah blah blah blah. Shrek two DVD. blah blah blah. Anywho... I haven't written in a while and since I am over at Joan's taking care of Tybalt and stuff and I have internet access availible, I decided to take full advantage of it. First, I would like to speak of the Emo topic. I have numerous friends now who are calling themselves "emo"... and even the other day, Jesse said that I looked emo and I don't even really know what the hell it it! What the fuck is emo, Fuck emo. (is that being emo... I don't think so) {btw... all of these are rhetorical questions... I don't need some smart ass response; k?} so yeah... Hey, look what I just found online : "Emo - short for "emotional." Emo is a broad title that covers a lot of different styles of emotionally-charged punk rock. " Really... what the fuck. omg, wtf, bbq. From what I've heard and am getting from how people are using it, emo is kinda like "Damn, I hate the world and everything sucks and I hate myself for hating the world and thinking that everything sucks." OMG... WTF! (bbq). So yeah... now that that is out of the way, I can get on typing about anything else! Like how I am so heads over heals for laurel that I don't know what to do with myself. I was a real big asshole to her the other day (I didn't answer her calls) and now I want to try to make it up to her today. I'm going to surprise her after school with maccaroni and stuff for making maccaroni necklaces. I hope she likes it. I just miss her a lot because she's been really busy since she got back from St. Louis and rightfully so with her show that just went on last week. The show was "Standing on my Knees" and it was really pretty good. There were some parts of it that I think could have been done a little better and I got yelled at by Ame at intermission of the second night becuse I was "Laughing at inapropriate moments and I was getting the audience to laugh too". Hell, if I knew that I was going to be getting into trouble for laughing at funny parts in a play, then I should have just gone to the show High as a fucking kite. I wouldn't disrespect people like that, but it still would have been just the same if not better because all these people (not just ame mind you) actually came up to me and asked me if I was on something. This has been happening a lot lately and I don't fucking know why. It happened the week before last at rocky as well. I was just acting happy and go-lucky and I got asked by multiple sources if I was on something... I just replied sugar. I acted as though it didn't mean anything but it actually really kind of upset me. ~ talk about getting side tracked~ so yeah... Laurel's show was good. I liked it a lot and thought the acting rocked (go Millie!). I think that I know what I need to do to move forward in my life... I'm kinda stuck in limbo right now and it can just be so fucking Emo sometimes (yay for that... hehehe). So yeah, I need to just clean up my act, clean up my life, and grow in religion. I think that that is going to be a very big part of my life and I think that I am far overdue to start growing with it. I got a tarot deck the other week... I love these cards so much: and only after I got them did I realize that Danny actually has the same deck... and I think that it is the deck that he usually uses with me. So yeah, they are my new babies and I think I am already growing with spirituallity. Anywho... I think I'm rambling and I think it's because I didn't sleep last night but such is life. I need to go now anyway and go home and clean and mabey take a short nap before taking a shower and going to school (insert twitch here). I really don't like going back to Creek. It's cool seeing friends and all but it is just not a pleasant thing to go back to the place that I so waited and worked to be rid of. So yeah... I'm going to go now but I hope that you all are having a super wonderful day and I hope to see you soon. Kisses, David Current Mood: tired Current Music: The Price is Right: showcase showdown music (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 28th, 2004
7:52 pm	Amityville Toaster Rocks My World!!! That's right, I said it... Amityville Toaster Rocks My World!!! Foamy the squirrel is awesome and rocks my world... anywho, I just needed to get that out. Nothing much going on. I have to play Brad tomarrow night at the Oriental. I love the theatre but I would much rather be a tranny there... it is soo much fun to tranny at the oriental. meh... it'll be the first time that I've played a part there so that'll be cool. Creekers are on Fall Break and Laurel went with Peter to St. Louis to visit Whitney and see Webster. I love that place sooo much, it is simply amazing and I need to be a part of a place like it. I've kinda given up hope of going there b/c it is Way out of my price range, but I still have faith that I shall go to a conservatory. Anywho, I've really been in a bit of a slump as of late and I've just begun to swim for the surface. I feel like I'm at a point where I could really rise above everything that has gotten me down and be happy and successful... but I know that I could also fall much much farther into this metephorical rabbit hole and not recover for a long time. I hope that it is the first and I will try my best to see that it is so. Anyway, I just wanted to tell how much Foamy rules and I got off on a little rant. That's all for now, May the Light shine upon you and peace favor your sword, heart, David Current Mood: restless (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, October 4th, 2004
7:29 pm	weird life, weird times, weird existance Well howdy there folks. Life is pretty fucking weird sometimes ya know. I'm happy again. As quick as that. And I know that as quickly as it came, it could be gone again. But oddly enough, such is life. I'm in a relationship again. Odd how much that helps. I broke down to my mom the other night when I was all sad and such. I told her so many things that I needed to tell her. I told her about smoking and cutting and everything that I just needed to get off of my chest. I think that helped some too. And rolling around on the concrete floor in a strobe light room with black and white striped walls, a black and white stripped face and outfit, and black and white bags swinging from the celing all while screaming and rhyming and acting like a mad man and playing with a fake brain and scythe might have helped brighten my outlook on life some as well. I DO like the haunted house. hehehehe. Anywho, I'm getting pretty tired of being on this computer so I'm going to end this entry. BTW, I hope you like the new journal pic. I know the baby monkey was amusing but all good things usually come to an end. That's all for now. TTYL PLUR, David Current Mood: calm Current Music: I'm in the bloody library... enough said (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 28th, 2004
2:30 pm	... hey. I don't know if it is because of the full moon or because of my new found memories or what, but I am in a very bad place right now. I hate my father... he hasn't even done anything new to provoke this but I do... I just want to kill him. I want him to feel pain like he has caused me. I want that very badly right now. I guess that my memories coming back was a double edged sword. Yes I remember the good things now... but I also remember why I forgot everything in the first place. I have such hate and while it is the source of my greatest motivation, it is also the source of my greatest pain. sorry if I sound melodramatic. I'm just sad is all. sad and mad. I miss Laurel so much... I miss Laura so much... I miss a lot of people so much. I had a dream about Laurel last night. I dunno. I just feel in a haze. I don't know what to do about anything. Call me if you want to talk or hang out. I guess that's about all. ttyl. PLUR, David Current Mood: discontent (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 7th, 2004
3:01 pm	This is kinda cool. You are VINCENT. Remember to clean the cobwebs off your coffin once in a while- first impressions are lasting! What Final Fantasy VII character are you? brought to you by Quizilla ~That was a very interesting quiz... me like. Anywho, I am really confused about life right now and in a way that I'm not even sure how to put it into words. I need to find myself again and find my place or at least a place where I can exist. Weird times. Anywho, y'all have a good time wherever you are and whatever you are doing. Peace out, PLUR, David (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 31st, 2004
4:09 pm	WTF is Going on?! Howdy there... haven't written in a good long while now and so I think that it is just about time for me to update you. Life is so interesting... Today is the last day of August and pretty much all of my friends have gone back to shcool. Yet here I am not in school, with a job, and wishing that I was either gone away from everything or back in school, dealing with the bullshit. At least in school I had a sense of power... I was important to people and I could do things that no one else could do. I worked my way to the top in just two fucking years and suddenly all of it is gone. I want to go to college but I can't fucking afford it!!! I want to go to a conservatory and study and learn and build and become a technical director but I don't have the fucking funds. FUCK! I don't even know what I want out of life or if I want to be a T.D. as a profession or what! All I know is that I'm not happy working as a waiter having to wear a tie and a clean crisp white collared shirt and say yes sir no sir right away sir... it isn't me! Yes it is a job and yes I am making money but do I even want to be making money if it means not being true to myself... I would rather be a T-Rex worker, out on the highway sweating myself to oblivion because that is the kind of work I prefer... I don't know... I don't know a lot of things right now. I do know that there is far too much drama with the Creekers to even begin to describe. I just want to bash them all on the head with the PLUR 2x4 I have. "Just be peaceful!!! *SMACK! Stop fighting with eachother! *WHACK!" Yup... that's what it'll be like. sigh... I guess the summary is that I just don't know. I'm not happy; I going on random drives again which is never a good sign... I just don't know what to do... life needs to change... but how? Current Mood: sad (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 9th, 2004
2:27 pm	Hello again I'm back! Life is going well. I got a job at the Olive Garden as a server and it seems like an amazing job... there is a shitload of info that I have to know and learn in the next week but they put you through this whole job training thing where you have all sorts of packets and such but the biggest perk is that you get to try all of the food. YAY! So that is great. I feel really lucky because out of like twenty applicants, I was the only male to be selected, plus there are only three of us. So out of twenty people, a 170 question personality scantron thing, and two interviews, I was in the top three. That makes me feel special :-). hehehe... anywho, that is the big thing that is going on in my life right now and what most of my time is going towards. Rocky is going well I guess... same old bullshit as always but I think that the show is starting to get better. I left early this week with Kate because 1) I didn't feel like getting more migraines and ruining my voice like I've been doing the last few weeks, 2) I wanted to play some pool w/ Kate because I haven't been able to kick her ass at that for a while, and 3) I had my first day of work the next morning and I was able to get a few extra hours of sleep. The cool part about the night was that Kate and Megan thought up a impromtu pre-show because Sandy's was canceled at the last second, and I got to get up there and perform. I think that that is something that I truly love doing... just getting up on the spur of the moment and pulling something pretty cool out of your ass. We even got a few laughs and I was able to make Alyssa cringe/scream because I used my Mr. Green smile. hehehe. Anywho, I suppose that is just about all for today and so I shall leave you all to your own thoughts and activities... thank you for your time and stay safe. Kisses! PLUR, David (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 21st, 2004
12:38 pm	I'm Back. ~An End To the Waiting~ Merely sitting and watching Never to say a word Waiting for life to happen Feelings so absurd I watch and spite Breath deep the night See the people dance I feel alone Chilled to the bone When is my second chance Now it's time to rise and shout It's time to make a stand Against all those who put me down These towers must be manned I'll fight it out I'll win this bout The victory is near I've won this game Gone through the pain And now my coast is clear. Howdy folks! I haven't written in a while but I'm back now and ready for action. I'm 19 at long last (whoopty doo) and I came to the realization today that life is far to comfortable and I don't have enough respect for things in my life. Things like my things, other people, and even myself. And, thanks to Jesse and Andrew, I have quit smoking (once again). It is really hard to do... The physical addiction I can get over easily but the social addiction is a fucking bitch I tell you. Anywho... I think that is just about all for now... if anyone ever wants to do anything, CALL ME! I'm as bored as an amish electrician. Wel that's all for now. Yall have a great day and I'll catch you later. PLUR, David (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 27th, 2004
3:25 pm	Poof! (Comment on this)
3:21 pm	This is kinda my ttfn. I'm "dissapearing" now but I won't be gone permanently. I just need time to myself and time to think things over. I'll be back when I'm better. I love all of you and I'm sorry if I become exceedingly distant but it's what I need to do right now. Thanks, Love, David (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 26th, 2004
1:25 am	Hello there stranger Well, I came onto this page to write something and pour out a feeling so I don't have to keep them stored up inside, but I really don't seem to be able to. Rocky Gras is today and thus my final day on cast (at least for a month). I made this really awesome mask and I have a lot more to do to my costumes tomarrow (well, today...hehe) I hung out with maddie and some of her "new young life friends" today. I had a really fun time. We went to Westlands park and played duck duck goose, and red rover, and tag, and we threw around the frisbe too. I was glad to meet them and I actually knew a few people. One of them is Kate's friend (kate came too) from DSA who I have met a few times. Gunner is a girl... fyi... and she's cute... also fyi. AAAAnywho... After the park, kate and I headed over to Jordan, Chewy, Drew, and Judas's place. It is really nice. An upstairs and a downstairs, back patio, little kitchen. It's nice. There were a lot of people at the party and I knew a majority of them. Very fun people... very drunk people. I didn't drink and watched over the party goers. Couldn't stop this big black guy (who was looking to get laid) from running into the screen door the first time... and unfortunately, I couldn't stop him the second time when he ripped through the screen. I found it incredibly amusing though and luckily so did the rest of the people. Well, Father is looking to get to sleep and I'm right next to his place of slumber and so I will sign out for tonight and wish you all the best. ttyl, Love, David Current Mood: good Current Music: nada (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 20th, 2004
9:03 pm	Hola Hey yall... not much to say today. I would just like to appologize. I've been acting like a real ass as of late and I'm sorry if I have done anything to any of you. Please tell me when I get like that. I've been trying to fight it and sometimes I just slip. lo siento. On a different note, I am going to be able to make it to Rocky Gras. One year and then a month off. Rocky... some bad shit went down the other night and it has just kinda put me down. I'm not really healthy right now. I have to fight though so that's what I'll do... I always have. Don't worry... If you know me, you know that I'd NEVER be as stupid and as weak as to hurt/kill myself. I got over the cutting thing and I carry the scars as reminders and as a power against it. I'm on a tangent. sorry. OK. That's all for tonight. Hope that yall are having a good one. I'll see you later, sorry again, Love, David P.S.: Update on a few friends: Maddie's back from young life camp a new girl. Call me love and you'll have to tell me all about your trip.; Laurel left for South America for the summer. I'll miss her. ; I won't be in town when Whit comes home and apparently I'm going to miss one helluva outfit. You'll have to tell me about it. Peace, Love, Unity, Respect David signing out. Current Mood: odd... calm yet sad Current Music: hippie music on the radio (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, June 11th, 2004
10:12 pm	'Ello Puppet Well 'ello there all. Guess what? the rennisance festival is a mere 12 hours away, I need to do laundry, and I don't know who I am. That about wraps it up... Had a nice day today... was going to go to World Wide Imports with Andrew but I had forgotten about rehersal for Kate's preshow. Oh yes... Rocky... Have yall ever had things in your life out pace you? Well, regardless, I won't be at Rocky for my one year anniversary of being on cast. I have to go earlier than what I expected. Sorry loves, but I got to look out for David first. I could tell you exactly what was going on but then I'd have to kill you and since I don't know who all is going to see this I don't want to track down so many people. So don't ask. And just in case, I'm sorry for doing what I might do... don't ask about that either. Anywho... Whit, you might be right... I am becoming more bi-polar and my drinking is increasing... I'll work on that. Thanks for the acknowledgment. Even if I am disinclined to asquiesk to your request. yay for Pirates of the Carribean. I'm off right now. I'm going to go see if I can get my laundry done and get some shut eye, because I have a long few days ahead with very little sleep. ta mates. 'ave a good night. yours truly, capitan Darkawareness Current Mood: thirsty Current Music: radio (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 8th, 2004
2:04 pm	Can breaking actually save me from breaking? so what to type? Let's start out by saying... REN. FEST ONLY 4 DAYS AWAY! That is happiness. yay. :-) Ok... sorry if I worried any of you peoples by my last entry... not my intent. Now... with Ren Fest only a few days away, so is my end to not smoking... right? wrong. Do you know why? Because I already broke. Yesterday we were having a grand ol' time over at laurel's house with a handle of absolute (p.s. Yay for jello shots) and I smoked a Jade... well kinda. It occured to me after I took the first puff that I really did not enjoy what I had just put into my body. It didn't taste good, it felt odd, and it actually made me cough some. The cigarette even felt out of place in between my fingers. So what is the conclusion that I came to? I don't need to smoke. I'm not going to at the Rennisance festival, I'm not going to at Rocky, I'm just not going to. I could not, would not in a house, I could not would not with a mouse, I do not like to smoke those things I do not like to make smoke rings. So that's the good news I suppose... I broke but I won't be breaking. That's just about all for now. Hope to write again soon, xoxoxoxo, David Current Mood: I'm alright Current Music: Kenny Loggins (Comment on this)
Friday, June 4th, 2004
3:40 pm	The wheel shall turn... She's ta'veren. I'm weak. He's magnetic. I'm drunk. ; wondering what a ta'veren is? Look to Robert Jordan for the answer. Look in the back of the Eye of the World and thou shalt recieve the answer and insight to this. I wear my marriage ring,, silver like my sword in the sun, and it is my link to this ta'veren... not the marriage girl but another. Sorry... I'm trying to be cryptic and parabolic. Isn't that right Kate... hehehe. Almost time to dissapear... sooo close... TTFN... Have a good day... guess why I won't. Do I even know myself? hehe. Later peoples! Current Mood: drunk Current Music: radio comercial... I don't know the channel. bye. (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 3rd, 2004
8:28 pm	Almost time to dissapear... (Comment on this)