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planet earth is blue, and theres nothin i can do [05 Dec 2003|06:41pm] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | david bowie: space oddity ] alright, well i just want to say that this week has been pretty jolting. one of my gym teachers, Mr. Maier died on saturday night. i found out about it on sunday mornin and the whole school felt it on monday. we had off thursday since so many people were goin to his funeral. the viewing was on weds night, i wanted to go so bad, i really did, but i didnt get home from work until seven and then i had to babysit my bro caus my mom and sis went to pokeno. neway, it was a major impact on everybody. mr. maier was such a nice guy, i no everyone says that about everyone who dies young, but he really and truly was. he always remembered ur name and called all the girls "hun". it just couldnt have happened to a nicer guy, really and truly. its such a shame because he has a daughter in 8th grade and a son who is a junior in high school. he was only 47 and died of a major heart attack. i guess when people die fairly young like that it makes you reflect on ur own life more. i mean i havent been contemplating my own death, rather the possiblity of one of my parents dying. i always feel weird when things like this happen, and i hate it because then i feel guilty. i dont really cope well with change, i rather let it hit me minorly then gradually let it come over me until i didnt even notice there was a change. i dont think thats very healthy. neway, i knew mr. maier outside of school as well. his daughter played both GSA softball and ASA softball, i played her in both and mr. maier would always be there coaching and would always make a point to come up to me and say hi, and then later in school comment about this or that, and i dunno, it made me feel special. that was the kind of guy he was. it doesnt seem fair sometimes, but the world did lose a great guy last saturday. philadelphia, atlanta, LA

ChaChaChanges . . . turn and face the strain [02 Dec 2003|09:46pm] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | bowie ] well, havent updated in centuries, neway, busy busy busy. thanksgivin was ok, worked the football game, saw the last 3 minutes, we lost cuz haddonfield is a bunch of pussies, writing on our lockers and crap. i hate em. neway, then dinner with crap fam. it was ok, but coulda been better. then when everybody left i took my dog for a walk and it was the weirdest thing, i start walkin, thinkin i wouldnt be that long, then i just start walkin and walkin, all the way to laurs house. then i see cars and people and i just turned around and walked home. weird. its like a fifteen minute walk that i absolutely hate, and i did it like almost unconsciously. so neway, came home went to be early. then woke up at six on friday, black friday. went ot kohls, then cherrry hill mall and then at eleven my boss calls and says she needs me in at work at 12. so i run home and get yelled at for being "rude" to my stepdad when i graciously requested the use of the bathroom when i got home. aaahhh i hate parents. so i go to work and dont get home til 6:30. then i go to laurs for like 2 hours and do nothing. then on saturday i had to wake up early again to take my brother and go with my dad to the stupid collingswood parade where i froze my ass off. then i came home and slept the afternoon away, which i hate, i feel almost guilty, and then i had to go to like a second thanksgivin with the other side of the family i kind of like except for my aunt, two fat cousins and an uncle that grabbed my ass last christmas. so then i came home and richie had left a message but i really didnt feel like hangin with them and bein the only girl, so then i call greg and pat and laur comes over and we went to gregs for his g/f from haddon twp birthday where i met this kid iv been pinin over (the verb pine makes no sense to me) so we walk and pat and sean were already there with a bunch of haddon twp kids, and htis kid ray (hah, in tightish sweatpants). it was fun, ok, sean played some guitar and the people were kool. i really didnt get to talk to ray cuz he was too busy rockin at DDR and flirting with all the other girls. yea. so neway, then we leave and he gives me a hug and informs me that "that we didnt actually meet" which im guessin means we will eventually have to meet but god only knows. so then i come home and on sunday i did absolutely nothin when i should have but instead watched like a good 8 straight hours of I LOVE THE 80'S STRIKESBACK. oh yea, before thanksgivin was the Clash and bondfire, ok, nothin spectacular. ok well, im about to die with no major interests and im just gonna go die from boredome. i miss the thrill of the chase . . . philadelphia, atlanta, LA

skip the light vandangle [21 Nov 2003|05:49pm] [ mood | irate ] [ music | whiter shade of pale ] well right now im just updating to update: recap: everything is ok i guess, grades could be better and im failin span but i just gotta work harder. maybe goin to haddon twp highs play tonight. ray is in it. maybe i will actually meet this kid! later days bill! philadelphia, atlanta, LA

then in ur heart, there willl always be a part of me [05 Nov 2003|08:48pm] [ mood | crushed ] [ music | complainte de la Butte ] hey, well halloween came and went fast and like everything else. im sad to report that i have lost the halloween spirit, which sux but it was bound to happen. i lost the christmas spirit last year, which sucked more. but neway, the day went by fast and then i went home and got ready and then sara picked me up and drove me and her and ash to laurs and we walked around there a bit and then met up wit jen and amanda and lisa and left laur to wait for pat. then we went to haddon heights and met up with mary and murph and some other people and then laur called and said that we should walk to audges and meet up with those people. so we grudgingly walked all the way there and met up with like a million people. then we walked FOREVER to marys house and got pizza and enjoyed the rest of the night lookin over some old heights yearbooks and makin fun of all the fat people that are now miraculously skiny. somethin must be in the water. but neway i didnt do nethin on sat, and on sunday i spent the whole day writin that shit movie review for history. NEVER AGAIN! i had like a million tests and i got a million grades back this week, im doin ok, i could be doin beter, i hate chem, she is really hard on the honors class, but def think i aced that test today. well i wil now take the time to write how i feel about stuff, since i never do. iv been thinkin about some stuff lately, some serious stuff. about what i wanna be and what i wanna do and if ill ever amount to anything. people will prob laugh at this, but only my parents know so far, i wanna right an article for NEWSWEEK. you can write and essay and send it into the MY TURN articles, they take like 2 out of 100, but i read em every week and some of em are extremely shitty and i no i can write way better and i have some good ideas. i never have the time to actually do it. well thats a lie i do but i just cant. and i hate myself for puttin it off, but maybe this weekend. i should actually do it now. maybe maybe not. well, i would just like to say that iv been feelin pretty shitty lately, i feel like i have no friends and some the people that i consider to be my friends, even my best friend, dont seem like they appreciate me. i hate sayin it and i prob should but oh well. i dunno, i just feel like i try more then other people, and i just dont want to anymore. i feel really vunerable, and i no im not. i mean i dont want to be but i also am not the kind of person who would even consider hurting somebody or not tryin to be nice or just bein uncivilize or just mean to people. but it just seems that is ok for other people to be like that to me. i try not to be ignorant to others, i hate when others are ignorant to me. i no im not and i try to be a sensitive and good person, but it just seems like im the only one. nobody gets it, and it hurts that other people act and think the way they do. o well. ok im done, im kinda cryin right now. thats another thing. i no im supposed to be a strong person and deal with stuff, and i no everything that has ever happened to me has tested that strength, but i do cry often, but i dont think that that is a sign of weakness. if im upset, i cry. that is just who i am and i think not being urself is a sign of weakness. o well. this is not directed at anyone in particular, it was just for me to let some shit out that has been buildin up for awhile. and i no that if anyone feels the same way that i do, then thats kool, and if u dont and ur one of those people who are like the above, i dont blame u, and im not mad but just no that i will always be there for u no matter what happens. anybody, i could not like u and be there for you. i wish someone was here for me. im not rereadin this, i dont wanna no what i wrote philadelphia, atlanta, LA

ur faith was strong but u needed proof [27 Oct 2003|04:01pm] [ mood | blank ] [ music | u belong to me ] hey hey (in the words of richie and some weirdo who imed me) wow havent updated in awhile. someone should shoot me to remind me. but too bad. lets see lets see. on friday i had a bunch of people over for a little while to go over stuff for the model UN haha, didnt accomplish much cept makin some delicious pizza. then when they all left i decided that i would go over some stuff but instead i watched two hours of sex and the city reruns.good stuff. and i still gotta watch that gay ass history video. aahhh. went over audges house last friday to try to watch it but yet again didnt get much accomplished, too many people there that wouldnt shutup. haha, but no i dont care it was fun. then i had to wake up early the next morning for PSAT's, i never understood the point of a test u had to pay for to take. but then i got home and went to work for four hours and then came home and went to creamy acres with sean and laur and emily and greg and that damn ellen. haha, but no there were some major good times had. including seans little jig with the scary mask man and laurs fallin on her ass into a fake graveyard. and then i recapped a bit with ellen, she goes to haddon twp and knows some of the people i used to hang around with, haha what am i kiddin, i had no friends when i was little, i was quite a weird little kid, but neway she is like best friends with this guy that i used to like and hopefully she can reunite us after all these years to see if that flame is still burnin. haha, there was never any flame, i looked like a man. ok well enough killin myself. so i no im skippin around here people but please try and stay with me. ok so last saturday was the model UN which was both extremely boring and worth my while, nothin but 8 hours of riveting non-stop debates on GEnder Based Violence. i was lebanon, hear me roar. i dunno where that came from. but there were lots of dorky girls in pants suits, yummy, and lots of asian and indian kids, we were the minority for once, whoa. but they were all really nice and kool and smart. then i came home and did nothin until i had to go to audges partay that night which was both fun and funny and a rude-awakening. had some heart to heart convos that night, nothin to ever forget. it was also kinda depressing, i mean all the people there that im not kool with, and the fact that it was absolutely amazing and my parents would NEVER do nethin lke that for me, but she is an only child and her parentals r rich, but that is the kind of stuff to be envious of if u ever are. so neway i got home and went to bed to get some much needed sleep. then i did absolutely nothin on sunday which felt simaltaniously amazing and selfish at the same time, and i felt guilty for gettin nothin accomplished,. but that night i had a PEAK game, which we lost but that was the umps fault, seriously, i would never say taht if it wasnt true. haha joe mcdevvitt god kicked out. haha it was great. but that was it for fallball. i wil miss it but im gettin tired of it. we r goin to don pabs for a party tho, good stuff. well i should get goin, long entry and my hands hurt. ok well later days bill. philadelphia, atlanta, LA

john ("jack") smith? [13 Oct 2003|08:17pm] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | dont u wish u knew? ] well, havent updated in the LONGEST time. too bad. ok, a recap: now where did i leave off? i dunno so im just gonna reveiw a little bit. ok, did i talk about the frosh fest? well i will again if i already did. it was pretty fun, i dont dance so the first part kinda sucked but then i started pourin drinks and it got fun. an extremely hott drunk guy (yall no who) made stupid convo, lisa was a bitch, and mike bassett tried to unsuccessfully teach me how to dance. ok . . . then the phils game the next day, more good times there, second row from first base, lovely lovely seats. they won so that was good. then i rushed home and went to laurs lovely b-day party at don pab's. good times good times. i just go for all those extremely pale skinny blond balloon guys. aaahh im tryin to make this short and sweet. then on sunday i went to the last game at the VET, we had crap seats but it was good just bein there. then that night i didnt no we had that much history to do so i had to hand it in late. oh and i got a job, its at this jewelry store in haddonfield. i work there tues and thurs and sometimes on sat and sun, but i dunno yet. ok money, minimum wage, but what the hell i gotta job. the lady who owns it husband is from italy and everytime i come he starts singin que cera cera. haha its hilaroius. well i gotta try and hurry up cuz i gotta go see a guy about a horse, no i really dont but newho, then on the next saturday my dad took me and laur and ash to the REN Faire, it was both fun and funny at the same time. we walk in and my dad bein the extreme dork that he is decides to write down every little thing we are wearing, down to laurens vintage circa 1970 red track suit. haha. neway, it was rainy and cold and we left early but not before we got some majorly kool jewelry. then we went to a quaint little diner in morgantown to eat and we walk in and i swear it was like out of some scary movie, where you walk in a little place and every person (of course they had to be all old) looks up and stares at u forever. funny stuff. they had tremendous salads and their spaghetti sauce was ketchup and chili powder. yum. then for dessert ash wanted apple . . . nobody knows. ok so now we finally get to this weekend. i didnt do nethin on friday cuz i was extremely tired and didnt feel like it. on sat i had to wake up at 7 and go wash cares for five hours. great. but pat and shane and sean and madison were there so it wasnt terribly bad. i swear i never wanna wash another car in my whole entire life. then i walked home and got a quick shower and then ash and laur picked me up and we went to the fall fest for like a half an hour and i got a cool scarf and a kool smelly candle and a vintage little kids phillies jacket. then we decided to walk to the football game and we stayed for like 45 minitos and then i left with laur to her house where i fell asleep on the couch watching GLITTER with franny baby. what a great movie. then laur went over to her neighbors to babysit while i was sleepin and then she called every five min til i woke up. then i went over there and left at eleven. then on sunday we all went to south street to go see nik and seans and richies and tonys and dougs group play at the TLA and then we walked around a bit and got some taco bell/KFC and some fresh baked cookies. then we walked to the speed line and took it home. then i did some homework the rest of the night. and here i am with a typin cramp talkin to u fine people. later days bill 1 Keep on Rockin me Baby| philadelphia, atlanta, LA

all ur life, u were only waitin for this moment to arrive [05 Oct 2003|04:29pm] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | beatles, blackbird ] so i havent updated in a long time, too bad. life has been ok. recaps: i joined scribe, got a job, failed spanish, and miss the phils. ok so i will really try to tell enlighten u with my life. haha. so where did i leave off? well ill start with the job. so im now workin tues 3:30-7 and thurs 5-8:30 at this little jewelry store in haddonfield right across from the library. wow excitin! but at least i have a job now. i started last thursday which sux cuz we had friday off and i wanted to do somethin that night but didnt get home til late so it doesnt matter. so all i did for my three hours was try to fix the lady's query in her access file and she is like dislexic when it comes to computers and i barely knew what i was doin but in the end figured it out. haha i was in one room and the lady that owns the store in another and her italian husband who fixes watches in the other and he was singin que cera cera on like the top of his lungs it was hilarious. ok, so where should i start? last friday i attended the frosh fest cuz i had to for student council and at first it sucked but then i start servin the drinks and it got better. i danced with some cute freshman and then got hit on by an extremely drunk hott guy who will remain nameless, then was pressured into dancin with mike bassett, which was funny. he tried to teach me how to fast dance (cuz i suck unbelievably) and then we slow danced and he was like beltin out the words. it was funny. then lisa (who i gave a ride to then ditched me for the soccer girls) comes to me when im mixin and starts tryin like to take my people and sayin "o yea, u dont want hers, mines much better" i was like get the hell away from me. but neway, the night was overall ok. then on sat i went to the VET with my sis and bro and mi madre and my sis and i sat in the second row from first base, box seats baby. over all delicious and the phils won so everything was kool except for the rain which sucked. then i came home and had like a half an hour to get ready for laurs party. we all went to Don Pabs and got some good authentic mexicano food. yummy. then the extremely sexy and pale balloon guy came over and made us all balloon things. then we went back to laurs for some cake and good times, and sara told me somethin extremely kool and i got so excited i was like freakin out. then we watched some CONAN and sexy andy dance in his boxers. o yea. hhmm, then on sunday i went back to the VET for the last phillies game there, horrible seats, 712 sections, but at least i was there. it was prettty kool but freazin cold and they lost to the Braves and the ending ceremony was like 2 hours long and ur hands were numb at the end for clappin that long, but hey, ill never be in the VET again. sad thought. then school and borin stuff like i had to write an article on the FRoshfest for the scribe and andy's brother sounds like a girl. and we had to do this obscenely long packet for history over the weekend and i forgot about it til sunday night and didnt have my book so i couldnt do it. then like i said before, thursday i worked and friday we were off for teachers in-service. on friday i went to ashs and laurs and sars tennis match and it was kinda boring and really cold. then i went to Ralphs with em and then to ashs after. were we hung around and did nothin screanin calls. then hawa said i was corny and sar and jen came over. then we decided to walk to bcorner where we saw some stupid potheads hangin outside for i guess they thought of as a rockin friday night but we thought it was pretty pitiful. then we went to my house and made pizza and watched like ten minitos of a movie. wow this is long and i jsut have a little bit more so bear with me. on saturday my dad took me and luar and ash to the Renn FAire and it was fun. we spent altogether like $150 bucks but got some cool stuff. then it got really cold and we left and went to some little diner in morgantown and had dinner and pie. then my dad took us all home and laur was sposed to sleep over cuz i had to babysit, but no, she had to be a little jerkmonkey and didnt wonna come. so i just watched soem HBO and some SNL and fell asleep on the couch and thats where i woke up this mornin at 12:30. and now im supposedly watchin my bro while my parents are at the eagles game but im on here talkin to u good people. now tomorrow is monday and we start the same ordeal all over again. since hte Phills suck and arent in the playoffs, everybody root for Boston. mainly cuz i believe in the curse and how cant ya luv boston? later days bill. philadelphia, atlanta, LA

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