Blurty for whiskey dream.
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| Saturday, August 27th, 2005 |
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the first thing i heard was the rain on the roof. and i wanted to fall back asleep. it was early, 9am. not so early for other people but early for someone who finishes work at 2, 3, 4 am. but my brother knocked on my door to borrow our ever mobile dvd player. so i had to stand up, open my door and pretend he wasn't being a bother. and there was a text asking me to visit my grandpa in the hospital. from my aunt. did i fail to mention that seeing him there is hard for me? and why shouldn't it be? he once carried me through tall grasses on his shoulders. we planted bamboo shoots together when i was four. we chased chickens together. now he can't even lift a finger. he has more tubes and needles going in and out of him than i would care to count. the rain wasn't going to stop soon. i snuggled back in the covers trying to recapture sleep. that proved pointless. but it was warm and the sound of the rain was reassuring. strangely enough, the one time that i need reaasurance, i get it from the rain and not a human voice. and i wasn't quite sure what i needed reassurance from. but incredibly, some days you feel incredibly resigned to things. resigned in a good way, mind you. you fall asleep feeling that way. but you wake up miserable and looking for a sign that things will be fine. but all you get the sound of the rain and the warmth you generate under the covers. and you refuse to get up because you know things will not be so great once you get up. but i am up. what choice did i have? -------------- in other news, work comes in steadily though some days i work for 10 to 14 hours straight. i just finished a project for MTv (yey!). and islamusik will soon end (boohoo...). so it will soon be time to look for new projects. whatever days are here again though. i feel like blah. i need a vacation. ----------------------- how are you? i can't stand the silence. but i don't think i'll be able to stand the words either. so, let it stay in the muck what we chose to drop. fuck it. this is silly but.... ( damn you! i miss you, you goddamn SON-OF-A-BITCH! ) +/ |
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Blurty for whiskey dream.
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