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remember when we were kids and happiness was a tube of a gum.... or a box of crayons that contained not just 24 crayons? but 48 (with it's own sharpener to boot!!!).... or a star stamped onto the back of our hands for that one correct answer we gave? can you still remember that? i can't seem to. i can remember the smile on my face. i can remember the flushed feeling. but that exact feeling of happiness.... it's just not there anymore. i so badly want to remember that. because i feel that that was happiness in its purest form. what ever happened to that kind of joy? where has that simplicity gone to? i feel caged in by this void i feel. why can't i remember? i sometimes wonder if i'm the only that can't. i look at people and they always seem to have this reserve of happiness. a place that they can go to to be whole again, to find that simplicity. i never seemed to have such a place. or i look at people.... and it seems that everyone finds their adult forms of happiness and i am mystified at how it can come to them so easily. i am amazed at how they answer questions with true nonchalnce and how they seem to never be unnerved by the little catastrophes in their daily lives. is it just me? i want to remember that happiness. be able to grasp it again. feel it bubble over and pour out. +( |
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sad.