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[27 Jan 2008|11:40pm] |
No one has the answer.
No one ever shown me how to fall.
Will you catch me ?
She tried to hide behind the eyes,
Ten past, so quiet in my living room.
Broke the silence with a leap,
The heroes set her free.
When you sang to me baby,
You sang to me oh, oh my favorite song.
You know you, you're more than I could dream.
Love is bending me.
Where would I go ?
Where would I go ?
Where would I go ?
Where would I go ?
Left on my own.
Where would I go ?
Someone understands me.
Someone sympathetic to my side.
You're my life here.
We bind these times, they fly right by together,
Remember when you bled on me ?
I was made to meet you,
Made to know you,
Made to hear you sing.
Sing to me
Sing to me
Sing my favorite song,
You know the one that he wrote for you
The one that makes me close my eyes,
And make believe that you are mine.
Where would I go ?
Where would I go ?
Where would I go ?
Where would I go ?
Left on my own.
Where would I go ?
Where would I go ?
Where would I go ?
Where would I go ?
Where would I go ?
Left on my own.
Where would I go
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[05 Oct 2007|01:32pm] |
Your Life: The Soundtrack
Opening credits: The Town You Live In-Sherwood
Waking up: Everything Is Alright-Motion City Soundtrack
Average day: Your Heart Is An Empty Room-Death Cab for Cutie
First date: Good Day-Angels and Airwaves
Falling in love: Collide-Addison Road
Love scene: Dancing-Elisa
Fight scene: Walls-Emery
Breaking up: Broken-Lifehouse
Getting back together: Apologize-OneRepublic
Secret love: Almost Lover-A Fine Frenzy
Life's okay: Work-Jimmy Eat World
Mental breakdown: Me-Paula Cole
Driving: Swan-Elisa
Learning a lesson: Hold Nothing Back-Copeland
Deep thought: Fall Away-The Fray
Flashback: Fading Photographs-Elevation
Partying: The Way I Are-Timbaland
Happy dance: Ain't Nothing Wrong With That-Robert Randolph Family Band
Regreting: Down Towards The Healing-Lovedrug
Long night alone: Run-Snow Patrol
Death scene: I Will Remember You-Ryan Cabrera
Closing credits: The Great Escape-Boys Like Girls
Take this survey | Find more surveys
Bzoink - The Original Survey Site
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[09 Jul 2007|11:18pm] |
BE HONEST.
Lets start with some random questions...
1. What type of cell phone do you have?
a gay LG one.
2. What was your first car?
a saturn l-series, that i totalled.
3. What did you dream last night?
that i cheated on joshua, with rory. and josh forgave me
4. Last person you talked to on the phone?
joshua
5. What do you call the room you are sitting in right now?
the living room
6. What was the last thing you ate?
a subway sub.
7. What did you do yesterday?
worked for an eternity.
8. What is something your friends make fun of you about?
that sometimes when i get excited i repeat myself.
9. What color shirt are you wearing?
white.
10. What do you do for a living?
um, i work at a retail store.
11. It may be July, but what will you ask Santa for this year?
africa.
12. Have you ever been in love?
im in it right now.
13. Had your heart broken?
a few times.
14. CD that is in your car right now?
a mix i made. song playing when i got out: david gray-babylon.
15. What will you be doing on Saturday?
working till 4, then spending time with my boo.
16. How many siblings do you have? share their names and ages!
1, justin, 14.
17. Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
in college, engaged or maybe married.
18. What are the names of your future children?
braxton, sydney, mitchell, and that's all i've got so far...i need about 3 more.
19. If you could go back and relive ONE day, which one would you choose?
uhm...i dont know.
20. Are you currently in love?
yes.
21. What color is your bedroom?
orange.
22. Favorite song?
elevation-tomorrow.
23. What is physically most attractive to you in the opposite sex?
smile. and a good jawline.
24. what is physically the biggest turnoff to you in the opposite sex?
bad hygiene..
25. What kind of sunglasses do you have?
big black ones. but i need brown ones.
26. Do you always have to be #1?
if you're not first youre last--good one lo.
27. Favorite hangout
anywhere.
28. Favorite pro sports team?
CAPS BABY!
29. Last person you argued with?
josh
30. Favorite thing to do on a rainy day?
nap. or watch movies. or make out. or all three.
31. What is a compliment that people generally give you?
i have pretty eyes.
32. What color are your eyes?
green blue
33. Apples or Oranges?
apples, DUH.
34. Favorite brand of jeans?
american eagle.
35. Do you like country music?
yes. i am dating a cowboy after all.
36. Have you ever proposed to anyone, or been proposed to?
ahaha no.
37. What is the ideal job for your future mate?
a business man, that wears a suit to work...
38. When is the last time you talked on the phone to one of your siblings?
today
39. Favorite big city?
NY, but im dying to go to LA.
40. How are you today?
exhausted. sick of being jealous.
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[29 Mar 2007|09:56pm] |
it's like we're dead to each other.
we pass each other on the sidewalk and in the rot, and we don't even say hello, let alone look at each other.
the only thing i want is to have him back. how many more nights am i going to cry myself to sleep? how many more times is he going to ignore me? how many more times am i going to walk all over him? i've taken more than he can give. i keep expecting him to make this easier, but i keep letting him down. i keep making it harder.
i don't know how to do this. i've prayed more the past week for this than i ever have for anything. praying that God would give us the strength to make it through this, that we wouldn't lose each other.
he cut off his friendship bracelet that i gave him.
it's not easy seeing him, but it's harder not seeing him. im constantly wondering "did he talk to alanna today?" "did someone else get to hug him?" "does he even care what im doing right now?"
does he know how much he means to me?
do i know how much he means to me?
do i know how much i mean to him?
i want to be strong, i want to let him be there. i need him to, but not now, not in the midst of my weakness.
i wish so bad that we could fast foward, and it would be august, and he would wrap me up and pull me in.
and i could let him catch me.
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[06 Nov 2006|11:30pm] |
sometimes, life gets heavy.
car accidents, cancer, break ups and make ups, failures and sucesses, agonozing fear, death,
and life.
every day it's something. sometimes, it just feels heavier than others.
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[05 Nov 2006|02:30am] |
The credits roll, the camera pans
And in the mist our hero stands
He starts to speak, then folds his hands in prayer
An awkward pause, then what's my line?
There's nothing left to say this time
And what would you say to a bad guy who's not there?
In terms of Roman numberals,
He's IV league with Roman Polanski
He'd win an Oscar every time if he was only given the chance
He started on the Broadway stage
A product of another age,
An offer and a pilot drew him west
The series bombed, commercials came
And though nobody knew his name
They all recognized the potential he possessed
Deodorants and dental floss
And how much does that new car cost
His acting was methodical in You Don't Need A Medical
He's branded like a racing car,
He's like a movie star with movies
The week of Independence Day,
The casting agent called to say
Your smile could save our movie and the world
Buy buy buy buy
Sell sell sell
How well you learn
To not discern
Who's foe and who is friend
We'll own them all in the end
It goes like this, we have no choice; the minarets,
The wailing voice
And vaguely Celtic music fills the air
We choose a foreigner to hate,
The new Iraq gets more irate
We really know nothing about them, and no one cares
Aladdin and the forty thieves
Enhanced by brand new special effects
Saddam and his cow disease spiced up
With some gratuitous sex
A movie's made, a war is won
A low-speed chase, a smoking gun
Distracts us while the actor takes the stand
Buy buy buy buy
Sell sell sell
How well you learn
To not discern
Who's foe and who is friend
We'll own them all in the end
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[03 Nov 2006|04:57pm] |
sometimes i feel like there's nothing left to fight for.
i just get tired of being let down. and it's my own fault. i set myself up for it time and time again. and i always think it's gonna change. but it never does, because i break every time.
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[04 Oct 2006|02:06pm] |
we havent talked in a week and i feel like my heart is about to fall out.
maybe i should've never said anything in the first place, it's just so hard to tell with him.
my hair is black again.
i do hip hop dance classes.
and i work out like it's my job.
i will not let this boy break me down.
MEGHAN COMES TOMORROW.
i am SO excited. only like, 100 days and she'll be here for good. I can't wait.
i want it to be halloween.
i met a cute boy, his name is josh. he's really sweet, and he's called to missions too. but in africa.
i have an amazing camera.
and i cant stand my roomate.
wow. this was incredibly random.
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[26 Sep 2006|07:05pm] |
i dont know how to do this.
be angsty and angry.
i don't know how to not let you in,
i just don't know how to deal with you when you get like this.
i miss the way things used to be.
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[31 Aug 2006|04:43pm] |
life is so funny.
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[19 Aug 2006|08:25pm] |
im at college.
weirddddddd.
i think im in love,
boy i think that im in love with you
i've been doin silly things when it comes to you.
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[21 Jul 2006|11:02pm] |
i crashed my car.
and it's bad.
but it could've been a million times worse.
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[05 Jun 2006|09:41pm] |
i cant do this.
i feel like such a fagget because i've been crying since last week, and every day it gets harder to walk the halls and look at the people ive seen every day for the past 4 years, and next year i wont see any of them on a daily basis. i'll miss my mormons, my jocks, my y day lunch boys, de and the kids, my new summer boys, the darkroom girls, my underclassmen boos, its simply ridicilious.
even the people i dont talk to, i'll miss you. i'll miss doyle and the twins because lets face it, they make everyone laugh. ill miss the band kids who im kind of friends with.
i cant do it.
"if i lay here, if i just lay here" god, i just want to lay here, hit pause and never ever grow up.
growing up is so hard right now. and it hurts too bad. and i dont want to hurt about this anymore.
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| :) |
[20 May 2006|12:42am] |
I thought I lost you out there, but you were never really ever there at all.
All your lies weren't enough to keep me there.
(goo)
Somehow saying the things that your ears won't believe, it's all for the principles.
(startingline)
It could be a cold night for a lifetime.
Say hello to good times.
The past is told by those who care. What matters is what hasn't been.
(JimmyEatWorld)
I think we've got what it takes to get this heart start beating again.
Our hearts are on the everglow.
(Mae)
I don't know where you went when you left me.
You say it's alright, we got a hot ride.
Two wrongs make it all alright tonight.
We had love but we still said goodbye.
It stings when it's nobodys fault cuz there's no one to blame at the drop of your name. There's only the air you took and the breath you left.
Im trying to figure out what's wrong with me so I can say what I used to be.
(johnmayer)
so forgive me, cuz i dont know what to do. when you look at me, you can pin out hesitation. there cannot be a close second to you.
at times i dont know how to start to let you in here.
(copeland)
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[19 May 2006|03:58pm] |
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"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt. because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back."
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[10 May 2006|02:36pm] |
i just finished reading catcher in the rye. it was really good, the style of it reminded me a lot of perks of being a wallflower. it was so sarcastic and funny, no joke i laughed out loud quite a few times, during class, so that was a tad embarassing.
i spent the whole day in the darkroom, pretty much tight. except for 4th block when there's actually people in there. like stupid alex, who i swear, i could've killed with my bare hands today.
but i mean, i could kill anyone with my bare hands any day.
so aaron ghar, i don't know how i feel about that. scared? no, i dont know if i acutally like him anymore. i'm pretty sure i don't. but who knows, it could be summer fun.
and then, college in august. i think about it every day, and get sad every day. i don't know how i'm going to handle leaving this place. i mean, being a military brat and all, this place is home. i donnn't want to leave it. and it's not only leaving HOME. it's leaving everything familiar,my friends all the back roads, all the little shops, my hairdresser, the nail salon, panera, north stafford, target, chicfila special sauce, Mt. Ararat!, my mom, my dad, even my brother, the darkroom, downtown fred, d.c, freaking everything.
everything.
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| im more than not ready. |
[04 May 2006|09:24pm] |
graduation is less than a month and a half away. basically a month.
and as much as i'm glad to be out of high school: i'm not ready for it.
i mean sure, there's the occasional drama, we get sick of each other and pick stupid fights, but the kids i'm friends with have changed my life. and we've all changed and kind of "gone our seperate ways" but, it's our friendships and memories that keep bringing us back together.
i'm not ready to leave high school behind.
i'm not ready to say goodbye to the girls who have been there for me through thick and thin.
i'm not ready to have to start over.
everything seems so perfect and complete right now.
and more than anything, i'm not ready to have to grow up.
it seems so dumb, i know. im sitting here listening to my "ohsix" mix, full of songs about graduation and moving on, and i'm just crying. i can't do it.
i don't want to.
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| i'm writing you a symphony of sound. |
[27 Apr 2006|05:55pm] |
i'm so sick that i woke up choking on phlegm.
that was gross, im sorry.
sometimes i think that I don't know what I'm doing in life,
and then i wake up and go to school.
and remember that i'm not changing the world.
i watched oprah yesterday, George Clooney was on it.
him and his dad went to Africa and stayed with some of the tribes that are going through genocide, and that's the only word for it. it's a mass slaughter of people. for no reason. women go out at night to gather wood at night-they get raped. if the men go out, they get killed, so the women choose rape.
we watched a documentary in sociology about Kitty Genovese's murder, and how 38 people watched her be murdered and didn't do anything about it, not even call the police.
we're watching women get raped, and children starve, and men be killed. but not only men are killed, everyone is killed. and we're not doing anything, not even calling the "police".
it's sad.
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[25 Apr 2006|06:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sick |
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| [ |
music |
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jack's manequinn |
] |
I am slipping through
I am slipping through
I am slipping into the airwaves
And this is nothing new
You are slipping through my fingers
And into the airwaves
The static's where you'll find me
From the corner by the studio
The gold-soaked afternoon comes slow
I deconstruct my thoughts and I am walking by
And on Third Street, the freakshow thrives
Santa Monica's alive
But something's not so right inside
Living with the news
I'll send this message through the speakers
They told me that you moved
I'll cross this country on a frequency
amazing.
jack's mannequin makes me so, happy.
listening to them in my car with the windows down and the music loud,
it's like i've rediscovered living.
and the perks of being a wallflower, i swear:
you can read that book a million times and each time you'll walk away feeling different,
finding something new to love.
and there's this part in the book where Charlie is trying to describe how a picture of Sam can't capture all of Sam's beauty, and the picture is amazing because Sam is beautiful, not because it's a well taken picture.
and he says this:
"If you listen to the song "Asleep" and you think about those pretty weather days that make you remember things, and you think about the prettiest eyes you've known, and you cry, and the person holds you back, then I think you will see the photograph".
and i dont know. i think that's amazing.
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[23 Apr 2006|09:17pm] |
graduation is less than 2 months away.
im so scared.
i need a job. bad.
i need a new speaker in my car. i need a new ipod. i need to dye my hair. i need to buy the butch walker cd. i need to save for college.
i wish i had a money tree.
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