| *stolen! from mike..bc im super bored |
[07 Dec 2003|07:58pm] |
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FASHION:
1. Do you wear a watch?: yes
2. How many coats and jackets do you own?: well lets see here..my varsity jacket..my peacoat..id say like 4
3. Most expensive item of clothing?: my hollister outfit
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YOUR FRIENDS:
1. Do your friends 'know' you?: i would like to think so
2. What do they tend to be like?: ?
3. Are there traits in you that are universally liked?: yeh i guess
4. How many people do you tell everything to?: 3
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MUSIC, TV, FILM & BOOKS:
1. Favorite band ever?: allister
2. Most listened to bands: allister
3. Can you play an instrument?: clarinet..and saxaphone..can you say BAND DORK!
4. Type of music never listened to?: jazz--shitty!!!!!!!!!!
5. What type of music do you listen to?: emo, punk, pop/punk, rap, country
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GENERAL QUESTIONS:
1. Who is the smartest person alive at the moment?: me! yeh i wish!
2. What do you prefer, a sunny or rainy day?: sunny!
3. Do you consider yourself lucky?: haha fuck no!
4. Do you feel pity for people who commit suicide?: yes. ppl shouldnt commit suicide..theres a better way out
5. Choose one word to describe how you feel most often: depressed
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RANDOM:
1. Do you own any plaid clothing?: no
2. Do you own converse shoes?: no
3. Do you own saucony shoes?: yeh
4. Do you own old school nikes?: no
5. Do you wear tight pants?: yes..bc my ass looks so good..haha..wait.....i have no ass!!!!!!
6. Is there more than one zipper in your pants?: not that i know of.........
7. Do you know what a squatter flap is?: lmao..thats funny..nah i dont think so
8. Do you own a messenger bag?: no
9. Do you wear your messenger bag across your chest?: noo
10. Do you own braces?: i had them
11. Are braces worn anywhere besides the mouth?: are they? i have no idea
12. Do you have short, shaggy hair?: no..my hair is pretty!
13. Does your hairstyle exceed a height of 3 inches?: yes
14. Would you classify your hair as a deadly weapon?: no
15. Do you think mohawks are "neat"?: no..mohawks are kinda ugly
16. Is your hair black or red?: im dying it red
17. Do you have a favorite brand of hair dye?: red
18. Do you own a bandana?: sure
19. Do you wear plugs in your ears?: no
20. Are you amused by safety pins?: what the fuck kinda ? is that
21. Have you ever used duct tape as a sewing substitute?: no
22. Do you own one or more objects with studs or spikes in them?: no
23. Do you own one or more articles of clothing from dogpile, lip service, or tiger of London:? no
24. Do you enjoy leopard print?: my new bed sheets are leopard!!
25. Are you Disgrunteled? yes
26. Are you an anarchist?: not at all
27. Does the American flag anger you?: nope
28. Are you "working class"?: unfortunately
29. Do you dislike "preps"?: only the bitchy ones..who think they are better than everyone else..they should be set on firee!!!!! man i have this obsession for fire today!
30. Do you dislike Hot Topic?: i love hot topic!
31. Do you smoke cigarettes?: used to..badddddd badddddd dana!
32. Do you smoke cloves?: no
33. Are you a thin waif?: a what?
34. Are you vegan/vegetarian?: hell no! i would die!
35. Do you think meat is murder?: yeh it is..but i eat it so who cares!
38. Have you ever gone a week without a shower?: lol i cant go 1 day without a shower..SKANKYNESS!
39. Have you ever been avoided due to your odor?: i dont reek..sorry!
40. Do you know who Jack Kerouac is?: no
41. Do you like Mr. Kerouac?: okay..tell me who the fuck he is and then ill tell yah if i like him or not!!!!!!!
42. Are you a member of the makeout club?: nah ill pass thanks
43. Do you say "rad"?: only bc mike says it alot..and it kinda became a member of my small book of vocabulary words
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MORE JUNK:
1. Name: dana
2. Do you like it? no! not at all..my name sucks! i want a new one!!!!!!!!!
3. Nick-names: chica, dane
4. Screen names: dancing0815, roxychik8102, surferbabeex
6. Birthday: august 15 1987..better remember it bitch! ill be looking for a bday present
7. Sign: leo»lion..argh!!!!!!!!
8. Location: NJ..and florida in the summer
10. Status: single..nothing new there
11. Crush: you actually think im gunna tell you..if yah really wanna know..well chat
12. Virgin?: yes
13. Natural hair color: dark brown
14. Current hair color: brown with blonde highlights..and im dying it dark blonde with red highlights..its a surprise my ahir hasnt fallen out yet
15. Eye color: brown
16. Height: 5'4--midget!!!!!!!!
17. Birthplace: pa
18. Shoe size: 8
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FAVORITES:
1. Number: 12
2. Color: red
3. Day: friday
4. Month: august
5. Song at the moment: she cries-rufio
6. Movie: OFFICE SPACE--watch it or die!
7. Food: chicken strips from wendys..with bbq sauce of course..now bring me some food bitch!
8. Band: allister..it hasnt changed
9. Sport: soccer
10. Class: sociology
11. Teacher: ferrara
12. Drink: iced tea
13. Veggie: uh....?
14. Tv Station: mtv
15. Radio station: q102
16. Store: hollister/pacsun/a&f/american eagle
17. Expression: my finger bitch!
18. Animal: cat
19. Flower: rose
20. State: FLORIDA!
21. Country: hawaii--oh shit thats a state..my bad..i guess aruba is a country?
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1. Me or you: how about me and you later tonight in my room?
2. Coke or pepsi: pepsi
3. Day or night: night
4. AOL or AIM: aim
5. CD or cassette: cd
6. DVD or VHS: dvd
7. Jeans or khakis: jeans
8. Car or truck: car
9. Tall or short: Tall..well taller than me
10. Lunch or dinner: dinner
11. *Nsync or BSB?: none!
12. Gap or Old Navy: gap
13. Lipstick or lipgloss: lipgloss
14. Silver or gold: silver
15. Alcohol or weed: alcohol!!!!!!!!! skyy blue!! lmao cait
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LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS:
1. Do you have a bf/gf?: no..nothing new!
2. Do you have a crush?: yes
3. How long have you liked him/her: a while
4. Why do you like this person?: bc hes just so fuckin cool!
5. If you're single, why are you single?: because no one wants to go out with me..atleast the ones that i want to go out with
6. How long was your longest relationship?: 13 months
7. How long was your shortest relationship?: 3 weeks
8. Who was your first love?: RYAN HOWELL!! AND I STILL LOVE YOU! HAH
9. What do you miss about them?: i miss alot! he was always so fun to be with
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THE PAST:
1. What is the one thing you would change about your past?: my entire life--its so fucked up
2. What is the biggest mistake you've made in your life?: driving 4 days b4 i turned 16 =/
4. Last thing you saw: office space
5. Last thing you said: get offline asshole! i was talkin to mommy and you kicked me the hell off..(talkin to my brother who decided to kick me off the computer bc hes a fuckface and sucks at gta vice city oooo wut now tommy)
6. What is the last TV show you saw?: its sunday..HELLO?!?! FOOTBALL YOU STUPID FUCK!
7. What is the last song you heard?: kelis-milkshake
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WHOS THE LAST PERSON YOU...
1. Saw?: my brother
2. Kissed?: ryan
3. Hugged?: cait
4. Fought with?: my dad..bc hes an asshole!
5. Were on the phone with?: steph
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THE PRESENT:
1. What are you wearing?: penguin pj pants..socks..a yankees tshirt and my steinert hockey sweatshirt..which i got from ryan..whom i love so dearly
2. What are you doing?: this and talkin to jr about life and such
3. Who are you talking to?: jr..and my mom
4. What song are you listening to?: im listening to my dad yell..wut a fuckin song!
5. Where are you?: in my basement
6. Who are you with?: myself
7. Are you online?: yes
8. How are you feeling?: cold
9. Are you in a chatroom?: no
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FUTURE:
1. What day is it tomorrow?: monday
2. What are you going to do after this?: dry my hair and watch office space again for the 3rd time today
3. Who are you going to talk to?: probably my brother..bc he will bother me and ruin the movie like he always does!
4. Where are you going to go?: my room
5. How old will you be when you graduate?: 17
6. What do you wanna be?: architect/interior designer
7. What is one of your dreams?: design and build a million dollar house for myself..and my family
8. Where will you be in 25 years?: florida probably
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OTHER:
1. Do you write in cursive or print?: print
2. Are you a lefty or a righty?: righty
3. What is your sexual preference?: i love them guyss
4. What piercings do you have?: 7! wow thats alot
5. Do you drive?: i got my permit a month ago......holy shit thats along time!
6. Do you have glasses or braces?: i had braces..and i have glasses..but rarely wear them
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| *reality check for dana! |
[07 Dec 2003|06:23pm] |
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*i finally realized that ppl have gone through the same shit i do..and feel the same way i do toward my family. my family is the biggest fucked up pos youll ever meet..my mom talks shit about my dad and billie jo and my dad and billie jo talk shit about my mom..and its always about the same thing..how my mom is always grumpy and never talks to them to see wuts goin on..and my mom says how my dad and billie jo are a bad example of how parents should act toward their kids..if it werent for where my mom lives..id be gone in a second..my dad and billie jo have their ups and downs..there are times when i can get along with them like parents and kids should..and then there are times when i can set fire to their bed when they are sleeeeeepingggggg!!! they just piss me off so bad..my dad flipped a total fuckin shit when i got community service..my mom laughed and thought it was funny i had to clean shit after school..when i dont do a god damn thing around this house anyway..its not a big deal..wow ive been late 9x..cry me a fuckin river..SERIOUSLY..its not the end of the fucking world its just community service..shut the hell up..those are the times you just wanna hit them with a bat! i do like being here though..only bc i have a huge fuckin room..and a huge walk in closet..which i need..bc my life is clothes..»well some of it anyway« i have my own bathroom..which i need..i mean tommy doesnt use it..hes barely ever upstairs..his life is sitting on his ass playing ps2..well thats part of mine too..but we wont get into that..even though i kick ass in gta vice city..ahem ahem..cuz tommy cant beat any of the missions bc he SUCKS...haha! but all i do is dance and watch OFFICE SPACE..meh..so yeh..i have 2 computers..which im on all the time..and my house just got redone..so instead of having 5 bedrooms we have 4..and the other one is the office..which i am in now..and our bathroom is all cool lookin and pretty..and the living room is awsome! we always have the fireplace on..and madddddddd partyyyin! and theres the bar and work out shit in the basement..that me n dez used to use!! haha..after eatin all our chinese fooood (and throwin it out the window..and leavin it down the street..great times!) even though all that stuff is good..the one thing that should be good..isnt. my relationship with my dad and billie jo..well there really isnt one..its like one of those relationships you have to have bc they are your family and you live with them..i dont get shit from them ever..i bought all my school shit..bc they never took me shopping..im buying my new cell phone..bc they are cheap asses and dont realize my phone is seriously a pos and doesnt work bc its so old..they told me in april i could get my belly button pierced..and now they said no..but i can get my ears pierced they said..so i ask last night if i could get them done again..and they said no! wut the fuck..its my god damn ears and belly button..whats the big fuckin deal! ill pay for it myself..nothing new there..bc i pay for everything myself anyway..lets see what was the last thing you bought me..oh yeh..probably my social dress in fuckin april! which was only $60..my semi dress..$78 from express..yah think they will buy it?? you got it..fuck no! bc its too expensive for a semi dress..when im only gunna wear it once..well maybe ill wear it again..i do have a senior semi/prom and 2 band banquets left..and my prom dress..$138..wow way to expensive for me..but i can go out and buy a brand new $40,000 fuckin truck now cant i?? of course you can..bc all you think about is your fuckin self..and ppl wonder why i am the way i am..well maybe if my parents acted like parents instead of fuckfaces all the time..i wouldnt be the way i am..
*okay..on another note..my room looks fuckin awsome! after begging my fuckin father to redo it..he finally did..wow! what a fuckin surprise! im so excited..its my bachlorette pad baby! and its open to all!
*jamie mcmurray-what a fuckin hot ass guy...HES ON THE COVER OF TV GUIDE..SO ALL YOU PPL GO GET IT OR ILL HAVE TO SET YOU ON FIRE! you better watch nbc in february and look for my in daytona! bc nascar is the best sport..other than football..on this universe..all you ppl who dont like it should suck my dildo! ok? yeh thats what i thought!
*well.........im still officially stumped with guys! i just dont understand them..why are they so confusing..please dont be confusing!! i just wish i could have him already!! ive wanted him for so fucking long! im gunna shoot myself soon! i cant take this shit anymore..i dont know why i even bother..when he doesnt even like me..and probably has no idea i do! ahh..i just hate to see him with someone else..i want to see him with me..he would be so much better off with someone who would be right for him..bc shes not..no one is..only i am!!!!!!!!!! well i wish only i was =/
*oh yeh xmas is in 18 days..yah want sumthin..let me know..ill see if your worthy enough!! hah..i cant wait..i love xmas its the best holiday ever!
*im outt...roastin marshmellows!!! peace outt
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| *i HATE snow!!! |
[06 Dec 2003|07:46pm] |
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*why did it have to freakin snow!! i hate snow..only if i didnt had something to do snow would be awsome..but i was supposed to go to ny this weekend..and i was so excited..shopping and ice skating and walkin around..and last night was the nascar winston cup awards ceremony in nyc..and we coulda seen jimmie johnson..and dale earnhardt jr and jamie mcmurray..but NOOOOOOOO it had to snow!!!! why couldnt it have waited until next week..or better yet..CHRISTMAS! oh wait..im goin on vacation the day after xmas..so maybe next week would have been fine..and now that it stopped snowing..we coulda still went..and i wouldnt be here cleanin the messs my dad made when he redid my room! but it looks so good..we rearranged everything and i got a new bed..but im not getting it til xmas..if yah ever watched mtv cribs or viva la bam»GREAT SHOW!! and you see bams room..i got the net thingie above my bed and i got new bed sheets..they are orange and red..and my bed is really big but its on the floor..like i dont have a bedpost or anything..but it looks really cool! i found it in a magazine! im so excited to xmas..but i have NO presents for anyone =/ and i have no money! well i got like 60 bucks but thats about it..oh well..i gotta check comin for work so im sure ill spend that on xmas presents too! im really excited for tommy to get his xmas present..im glad i dont have to spend my money on it bc id spend like 200 bucks..which i dont have
*my dad got a new truck finally!! he got a 2004 jeep grand cherokee larerdo and its metallic dark gray and its super hot! i got to drive the altima to the dealership..which was about 40 mins away..it wasnt that bad..i wanted the car soo bad though..i wanted him to sell the saturn and keep the altima for me..bc the altima is a 2001 and it runs really good..i love driving it..and i hate driving the saturn..but its a hot car..and i dont have to pay for it..if he gave me the altima..id have to pay him 9 grand..which i dont have..i dont even have 2! thats sad..ive had 4 freakin jobs and dont even have $2000 in the bank..but thats bc the first 2 were under the tables and paid me shit..so i spent it all! hah!!!
*well..my pictures came out pretty good this year..i look alot different than i did before..which is a good thing..my mom cried bc i look so grown up..and i look like my grandmother which is really sad..i miss her alot..i keep thinkin about callin her just to tell her whats up but i know shes not gunna answer..and i keep thinkin that shes comin out here for xmas..and is gunna cry when we get to my moms and say how we should call more and how we look so different and yell at my mom for the mess in the house and how she messed up cookin or sumthin..and her eatin those disgusting orange circus peanuts..and yellin at my grandfather for bein drunk or something..she was too young..she didnt deserve to die..not now..my mom and me and everyone still have our whole lives ahead..and i dont have a grandmother to share it with..both of them are gone..and i miss them so much.....its really hard when you only have a grandfather who is stubborn to talk to about my girl problems..and guys..bc he thinks i shouldnt have a bf til im like 30! so that doesnt work..i miss my grandmothers italian cooking..bc my dad cant do it! so i have to..i have to admit it comes out alot better than my dads! and i miss my other grandmothers dumplings! she made the best dumplings in all the world! i miss alot..my grammie was stubborn and wouldnt go to the hospital when she should have..if she did she would still be here..and would be coming to see me in 2 weeks..and it would be the best xmas ever........i still dont believe shes actually gone..i still think shes in ohio workin and stuff..i just cant think of how life can be without her around..its been terrible..too much stuff happens to my family........its almost been a year since lauren was killed..another thing that shouldnt have happened..she shouldnt have been drinking..she was too young..she shouldnt have been driving..it was too late..she should have had better judgement..and i miss her alot too..i miss our long talks and how we would just drive around talking for hours and would stop at the same place and get the same thing to eat all the time! i miss when we would have thanksgiving together..i would always beat her in pool..and we would always do stuff together like best friends would do..when we went to the poconos together..it was so much fun..and i miss going there..i havent been there since she died..i cant go back up there and try to do stuff that we did together bc it wouldnt be the same without her.....
*the guy situation is goin ok i guess..theres this kid his name is brian..just figured that out!! and he always looks at me..always..everytime i see him in the halls..i guess bc im brads ex gf..but hes just so hot!!!!!! lol..and then this kids gf broke up with him randomly for no reason..and hes really cute..and sum ppl are tryin to hook me up with him..which is cool.......im just really confused about alot right now..i dont know wut i want..and ppl are still screwin with me and its pissin me off..and i dont know why i take their shit but i do! i just wish ppl would tell me the truth already and not beat around the bush!
*i miss jenn..stephanie said she hasnt been home since thanksgiving and hasnt called anyone..i hope shes okay..she called me on tuesday but i was workin and she told me to call her bak on sum kids cell but she didnt give me the number so i couldnt..i cant have anyting happen to her..shes my sister..and i love that girl to DEATH..if something happens to her i dont know wut i would do..shes been there for me since 9th grade..and i want her to be okay! i just wish she would freakin call me already!
*anyways..im out to do sum more cleanin..peace out
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| stopped car! |
[29 Nov 2003|08:37pm] |
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*ahh!! someone please put a gun to my head!! i cant take this anymore..i have such strong feelings for him and i cant take it..i wanna tell him but im scared to!! he barely talks to me now..considering he already knows i like him..bc i openly told him like 4 times..i just wish i could get something..like him tellin me he likes me..something..anything!!
*i talked to stefano for the first time in like a month..it was great!! i miss him so much..hes the best guy ive ever met in my life..hes so sweet and we never fight..and hes the only guy i can talk to about anything and everything..and i love him to death..i cant wait til xmas bc we are finally gunna hang out!! im so excited
*last night me n cait went to dales viewing..it was terrible..it was so sad..he looked good though..it was open casket..but it was sooo sad..all the pictures were really cool..too see him growing up..but to see him end his life was just so depressing..i hate to see ppl dying at such a young age..its shouldnt happen..
*anyways..im watchin austin powers!! favorite moviee...im outt laterrr
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| *RIP dale<3..and 25x more shit! |
[26 Nov 2003|01:12pm] |
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*well monday night i found out that dale alexander died =( he was soooo nice and he always seemed happy and i miss him soo much...youll never be forgotten dale!!!!!!!!!!! so schools been really weird since then..but its always like this when something happens..and it sucks!!!!!!
*i used to have feelings about suicide..thinkin my life couldnt get any better..but it can! no one should end their life bc of bad things!! they should try to work them out..you have many many years to move on from it..thats wut i did..it kinda worked..i mean im still depressed and everything..but not as bad as i used to be! and i thank my friends for that! without them i dont know where i would be! they keep me going all day longg!!!!!
*anyways..dance team tryouts were last night..me and little boob (stace hah iLu*) didnt make it!!! wut is up with that?? weve been dancin for 13 years..and we dont make it?! we did really really good! its bc of the ppl running it! they said they arent gunna judge..but miraculously one of the judges couldnt make it so melissa steps in..and who are the other judges?? her sister and 2 friends?! wut is up with that..she shoulda went to gilbert or mattis and asked them to find ppl..and of course since melissa and jen go to steward johnson and are teachers there..they accept all teh girls who dance there..and they taught them the dance b4 we knew it! thats so fuckin discriminating!!!!!!!! it sucks even more!! not makin it makes us think were not good enough to be dancers..and thats the sad part..oh well..well get even!!
*today was the pep rally..gettin ready for tomorrow game against west!! they are gunna losee cant wait! but i get to see amanda who i havent seen since my birthday..and olga who i havent seen for 4 months!! ahh thats a long time of being away from them!! i remember hanging out with them 24/7 every freakin day..and now we barely talk..but i miss you!! my mod squad!! hah and jenn is gunna be there..i havent seen her in 2 weeks..which is a long time being away from your sister..ill cry lol bc i love her and i miss her so much
*anyways im out..waitin for my dad so we can go pick up the jeep!! my dad finally got a new truck! im so excited to see it!
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| never recognize when love begins, but i always recognize when it ends |
[23 Nov 2003|07:39pm] |
*well here we go again!! this time..with help from a certain sum1..(nl thanks..you made me feel lots better) i dont care as much..he led me on again..and i fell for it again..and i see him with another girl..and my heart is shattered..but this time..im done..i need to move on and i cant sit around and sulk about it bc there is so many better guys out there for me who wont do this same shit he does..theres someone out there waiting for me i know it!
*i had the best weekend with the only person who understands anything that goes on in my life..joanna came over friday after school and we went to dance team tryouts and then the rock show..which was good..not the best bc of obvious reasons..but the bands we saw were really good!! me and joanna are gunna start a band!! bc im just so good with the guitar and everything!! lol..then saturday we went to king of prussia mall..the absolute best mall in the universe! i got so much stuff and it took my mind of a lot of things..which shopping usually tends to do!! and i found a prom dress..but we will get into that later..
*the guy im head over heals for probably likes someone else by now..and is probably happier than he was when we talked..but i still really really like him and hopefully we can talk again..which brings me to the semi..which in january 31st at cedar gardens..im still dateless..and have no idea who to ask..well i have an idea but i just dont know if i will have fun with the person or not..hes my best friend and i said i would always take him to one of my dances..so maybe i will i dunno..which brings me back to the prom dress..while at king of prussia mall yesterday..we went into jessica mcclintock store and tried on mad dresses and i found the perfect dress in all the world..for a reasonable price also! its only 138 and its red and long and spaghetti strapped and its cut out in the back with a bow its super cute!! so i come home last night and inform my father that i had found one..and instead of being a nice father and askin me wut it looked like or if it was nice..he goes to the fuckin money issue..which is goes to about everything i talk about..and flips a shit thats its 138..which i think isnt bad at all when ppl spend like 250-300 on theirs..so he goes on and on about how he pays for so much shit for me..when he actually doesnt bc hes never bought anything for me when it comes to dances and prom and shit like that..and expects me or my mother to pay for it..and i am not about to make my mother pay for it..she buys wayy to much shit for me as it is and does everything in the world for me..and im not about to ask her to pay for it..so i guess ill have my dad bitch about how i gotta take out more money from the bank and pay for it..bc i take out soo much now..oh well..live with it dad..and shove it up your ass!!!!!!!
*its really startin to kick in about how hard it is to have divorced parents..i just thought of it as double everything..but it turns out..its just the opposite..you cant go to one parent and ask them for something and turn to the other when that one says no..its complicated with all the court battles..and the child support..and how one parent gets screwed over in the end..in this case..my mother..its really hard to live with your dad and step mom and know deep down inside my dad did the all time low and cheated on my mother..with my step mom..and lied to my mom about it..but im glad my mom found out bc she was so much better off bc my dad is such an asshole..ive never met such a bad father in all my life..how can ppl ever cheat on each other..its the worst..i know how i felt when i got cheated on..i was crushed..and i swore i would never do it to anyone else..and i wont..but its so uncomfortable living with the male of the family..bc i cant talk to him like i talk to my mom..i cant tell him all the stuff that goes on..and all the drama..bc all my dad cares about is schoo..well fuck school bc i dont care! i wanna go to drexel and i know with the shit grades im getting i wont get in..so stop pushing me to do better bc its making me to worse! i cant sit with my mom and cry and cry and cry and nothing..bc he doesnt understand..he doesnt understand anything that goes on in my life..he doesnt understand my best friend is gone..he doesnt understand how messed up my life is without her..he doesnt understand im 16..and im a girl..and i have my girl problems..with guys and all..but he doesnt care..i couldnt sit down and tell him wut goes on everyday..bc i would be there for a month..i just wish he would get off my back about school and leave me the fuck alone! i cant stand living with him and i cant stand being around him..he doesnt get it!!!
*i wanna be able to see jenn again..she calls all the time..why cant my dad get the fuckin hint that he cant keep us apart..and she is and always be my best friend..my sister..my everything..and i cant live without her..its so hard to concentrate in school..knowing i wont see her everyday and be able to give her a hug and say i love you..shes one of the only ppl thats stuck by me through everything..shes the sister i never had...and will always be..
When I cry you help me out
When I'm happy you hear me shout
When I grin you know I'm really mad
because you are my best friend
You can tell when I'm sad
You're there in thick and thin
You're my best friend
You hear me out when I want to talk
You help me out when I get mad
You are the bestest friend I've ever had
So hear me out when I say
You're the light in my day
You are the moon in my night
You shine very bright
You are the bestest friend I have
and I miss you
*anyway..im outt..laterrrrrrrr
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| *cotton balls and maple syrup |
[19 Nov 2003|06:09pm] |
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*there is wayy to much drama lately..everything is happenin and its so freakin overrated..ppl just need to shut the hell up and mind their own business..its over..its been over and nothing will happen..so shut your fuckin mouth before we kick your small midgety ass..go brush your hair bitch!!!!!!!!! god that feels better
*jenn moved back in with her dad..shes finally gunna get her life together..which is good because she needs to real bad..ever since she got kicked out her life has been a big pile of shit..she had all this money and now shes dead broke..her life is messed up to begin with and then all this shit is gunna be added to it..i dont think so..but her dad is signin her outta high school and makin her get a full time job and go to daylight twilight to get her ged..which is so freakin stupid..shes got one more year left at steinert and her dad is gunna take that away from her..i dont think so! jenn has been there for me since freshman year..and we have been through literally everything..everything that has happened we have been there for each other..when her mom died..brendan..movin all the time..everything..and this summer was the absolute best..when my dad was on vacation and she stayed at my house..it was like havin my sister move in..it was the best and i had so much fun i will never forget..and then stayin at her house for a week..which was 100x better than anything in the world..i have always had such a great time with her..and then my dad told me i couldnt see her..and then my whole world fell apart..it was like he was telling me i couldnt see my sister..and you cant seperate sisters like that..maybe now that shes getting her life together he can see that we will always be friends no matter wut he says and he will let me see her
*i hate fighting with ppl..its the worst..i have enough fighting to deal with when im home..i dont need it in school either..i wish ppl would stop lying and just tell me the truth..even if it is gunna hurt me..it not like its gunna be a tragedy..its just gunna make my day that much worse..bc as soon as i wake up..im having a bad day..the worst thing to do is to lie to someone..grow some balls and just fuckin say wut u gotta so aiight?
*anyway..im watchin 8mile..that movie is the fuckin best movie ever!! i love love love love love when they freestyle at the end..its the bestest!--lookin like a cyclone hit you..tank top screamin LOTTO I DONT FIT YOU!!!! my motto..fuck lotto ill get the 7 digits from your mother for her dolla tomorrow!!! haha... so greatt
*guys..drama x 170000000000000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! guys are so confusin..and then they say we are confusin..wut the hell is up with that!! you guys are wayy more confusin than us ladies..if you like us..tell us..if you dont then tell us..dont lead us on..like SUM ppl..we wont mention names or anything..ahem ryan! ahem..anyway..im gunna become a lesbian..lol dez!!!!!!! we have a better chance..bc all the wrong guys like us..we need to find hot sexy guys who will treat us right and notbe an asshole like sum of the ones weve had!!
*im outt...laterrr
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| *obese cow |
[17 Nov 2003|04:46pm] |
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i hate new jersey..i have everything and everyone in it..i need to get the fuck AWAY!!!!! i need to pack up my shit and get the hell out of here fast..i cant this anymore..i need to get my life together bc it sucks right now..everything was great and i was soo happy and i had such great summer..i was always upbeat and wasnt doing anything like last year..and then it just got worse..and im depressed again =/ and its the worst..i cant concentrate on anything anymore..i just want to be home in my room with my music and a notebook writing..bc thats all i can do..i guess thats why i doing so bad in school..and why i dont pay attention...i need to get away from my parents and my brother and my family..i need to be with jenn..and the family that cares about me..my aunt and uncle and cousins!!!!!!! all i want is to be happy again..maybe ill go with jenn away farrr somewheres and not tell anyone where i go..and just leave and not come back..theres someone or something out there waiting for me as much as i am waiting for them..but that someone is right here but he just doesnt get it..i think i need a paradise getaway..to hawaii perhaps..where there are massive waves and i can surf all day long!
*yah know what..im gunna go plan my getaway..see yah
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| *stay off the road! |
[15 Nov 2003|10:02am] |
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*i got my permit yesterday!! and my dad (who was supposed to be in CT til sunday..decided to come home YESTERDAY!) took me to get it valadized (hah linds!) and i got to drive home from the dmv!! that was awsome..and i did really good too..my dad is still alive and i didnt have to call 911!! then he let me drive to ryans house and back..which was good bc it was the first time i drove at night..and it wasnt that bad!
*on another note..now my dad is becoming the nice parent and my mom is now the bitch! my aunt said she could go get her car for me to drive..bc my moms is a stick and i cant drive one of those..and my mom was being a bitch and wouldnt go get it..when she was right freakin around the corner..wutever..i swear i need someone needs to invent mail order parents..or if anyone has some..bring em here..ill send you my assholes for a day..youll want to shoot them just as much as me
*and everytime my mom is drunk she always picks fights with me..no matter wut the situation is..its always my fault..my mom is the biggest bitch on the face of the earth..she treats me like she treated jeni and justine..like shit..and now i see why they hated her so much..i get along more with my stepdad..my freakin stepdad..then i do anyone else..my aunt said i can go live with her..but she has 3 kids..and i really dont wanna go to a new school..i need a place to live!! not that im homeless or anything..i just cant live with my parents anymore..i got less than 2 years when me jenn n shelley move in together..bc by then i wont have to give a fuck about my parents! tommy can hear their shit for 2 more years.
*and i did super bad on my report card..something else my dad wont shut the hell up about! i got 3a's 1b 2c's and 1d..but my brother got 2c's and the rest a's n b's and they dont flip about him..bc all hes ever gotten was a's n b's and now hes getting 2 c's and they dont care..wut the fuck?!?!? just becuase he is going no where in life..and i have an ambition..which im never gunna get to..they flip on me..its my problem so shut the fuck up and live with it..
*ugh..im so frustrated right now thinkin about all this..and all .he. keeps asking is to tell him..you really want me to tell you all the shit that goes on in my life..i dont think so..youll wanna shoot yourself just as much as me..and so i tell him no and hes like fuck you..i didnt do anything i just didnt want to tell him..i hate fighting with my friends n stuff bc i fight enough with my parents..and school is like a getaway for me..and i fight with ppl in there..i cant do it
*well im gunna go shower and go to dunkin donuts and then bak to wonderful school bc i gotta game..later
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| *watch out behind you!! |
[14 Nov 2003|05:07pm] |
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*i got my permit today!!!!!!!! and i got it validated..my dad let my drive home from the dmv!! ahh thats a shock and a half right there..woohoo..i didnt cause him a heart attack..but i almost hit the guy in front of me bc he was stopped really suddenly..
*anyways..i might be able to see jenn again!! she is moving back in with her dad..and maybe now my dad will let me hang out with her..she didnt so anything wrong and i dont know why he doesnt let me hang out with her now..maybe becuase she lives with michelle...oh well..shes sleepin over my moms tomorrow night and im so excited!
*anyways..im gunna go do some driving..i love this!! i only gotta drive with my rents in the car for another 9 months and 2 days..then im free!!! woohoo <33 me
*ps...i know ive sed this alot but jeff i am sorry..i didnt mean wut i said at all..your the greatest..you really are!!
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| *gimpy is out to kill!! |
[10 Nov 2003|10:02pm] |
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well my first day at school as a gimp was a day from hell!!!!! ahh..i was so close to shooting myself..i got hit like 400 times..and cried like 800..bc it hurt so bad..and i drove on the highway this morning..which was 100x worse than anything! bc i had to take my hand out of the sling and it hurt!!!!!! and i cant do my homework or anything..it sucks..i wanted to dance tonight so bad..and couldnt..i hate being injured!!!!!! =/
anyway..nothing much to talk about..nothing new with the love..there is a cute guy who sits next to me in band..hmm..maybe have to spark up a conversation! hah..
OHHH YEHH!!! and i was informed the semi is in like 2 months..and dana is dateless..wanna go with me?! can you dance and will dance the whole time? and look super freakin sexy in a suit..let me know..maybe ill take you!
hah..anyways..im out...im gunna ice my arm..later
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| *paradise..or so i thought...... |
[09 Nov 2003|11:47am] |
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*well to start off i had one freakin hour of sleep..so im gunna be really grumpy today..my step dad is bringing me coffee bc my parents are gone and i have no means of transportation to anywhere!!! but its a good thing bc i feel like shit and i dont want to be surrounded by parents all day!!!!!!
*well things never go good with guys anymore..i realized i didnt like jeff but liked mike..and mike asked me out a week ago when i was with jeff and i said i didnt know bc i was confused and didnt know what i wanted..but i guess he doesnt either..so maybe ill just stay away for a while..but i know i cant do that..all i want is a good bf..who will call me randomly just to say hi...and who will just be there for me bc no one else is..i really dont ask for much..bc i dont ask for much in return..i just want to be happy again..and im not =/
*well my arm hurts like hell...cant really do much with it and still cant feel m y hand or anything..i hope it gets better..this is the worst pain in the world
*well coffees here...peace out
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| *astronaut |
[08 Nov 2003|09:04pm] |
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well im home from the hospital finally!!! ive been there since 4:30 this afternoon when i get home from the game..i severly bruised my elbow n im in a sling and what not..and typing with one hand..i cant feel my hand..or anything in my arm..i havent felt such pain in my life!!! laura was practicing next to me and our flags hit and the pole of mine hit really hard on the bone in my elbow...and i went and performed and then decided to say something..the guy who did my xrays strected my arm out and it hurt like all hell..and i feel like shyt..anyways..and after being hysterical.....jenn came up and went to the game and it just made me more hysterical =/ anyway...well i asked out mike this morning and he said he doesnt want a gf!!!! wut the hell...guys make no sense i dont know why i bother anymore..i should have stopped after ryan screwed me over..AGAIN!!!!! anyways..i feel like shit so im gunna go sleep...call n cheer me up..i love when ppl call me!!!!!
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| *shots of cheese! |
[07 Nov 2003|09:07am] |
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*well me and jeff arent together!! which is good bc i really didnt want to be anyway..being "together" doesnt do anything..its just like going out..and it sucks..so wutever..i like this other kid anyway..everyone thinks i should go out with him bc jeffs an asshole..well see!! : )
*i finally went out with the girls last night!! me, courtney, laura, joanna, tony, nick, and rob went bowling!! those sluts..haha..thanks for kickin me a 9 nick! hah..and your a slut..not a whore! it was fun! i kinda forgot how much fun it was to hang out with them..when i was with brad all i ever did was hung out with him..and now i got to hang out with the bestest friends in the universe!!!!!!
*well..this is the 2nd day of my 4 day weekend!! yippee...wednesday i had dance and joanna came over..we dance some more and played darts..gotta love the brittish!! haha..and yesterday i cleaned some more..i must be on this cleaning stage bc all i do is clean!!!!! and then i went to work..which was so exciting..NOT..and went out obviously..and today im gunna finish cleanin the upstairs and joanna and laura and courtney are gunna come over and were gunna make our signs and stuff for our drill pics tomorrow!! jolada here we come!!!!!
*im outt...i gunna go stuff my face!!!!! hah..later
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| *jolada is the best |
[03 Nov 2003|10:11pm] |
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*well no school tomorrow..yippee!! im goin to the mall w. cait in the mornin..bc i need new shoes..n sum new clothes n things..and then were probably gunna hang out..bc we never get to hang out nemore..shes got vo-tech n stuff..n dan! (heh)...i know you like my present..cherish it well!! hah
*i talked my dad into not lettin me go to dance!! bc i wanted to go to the movies w. jeff..but my dad..bein the ass he is..made me stay home!! ugh!!!! but i get to watch the pats kick the broncos ass!!!!!!! haha BRAD..your team sucks admit it!
*well..jeff n i established were "together"...he doesnt want a relationship..and i understand that..i dont want one either..well i do but not really..i dont know if id be able to handle it..ryan was 13 months..that was a loong ass time..and then rich..which was gay..n i dont even wanna think about that..and then brad..which was kinda a long time..not really..like a month and a half..and its only been 2 weeks..i dont know if i can handle havin a bf and all the shyt again..so bein "together" is a good thing..i really like him! hes so incredibly nice n funni n hot! haha..so well see how this works..i think i like bein together with him..bc it seems like were goin out..but were not..but we tell ppl were together..i think i like that better..
»vinatieri is kickin a field goal!!!!! yay! and its good!!!!!! 17-13 broncos @ the half..pats are gunan win! tom brady is awsome!!
*anyways..yesterday i had to work..yippee! but it was ok..i got to work and hang out with ariel..which i havent been able to do in a while! it was so awsome! but shes leavin and im really mad! ill miss her
*anyways..im outta here...later<3*
i want you
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| *coconuts |
[01 Nov 2003|06:07pm] |
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*well..right now im doing absolutely nothing!! wut a way to waste my weekend!! tommy n chris are here..and jeff asked me to go to the movies..and my mom was sleeping so i woke her up and i asked her to go to the movies and she totally flipped a shyt on me!! sayin that she wont take me out that far n everything..im like wutever! she doesnt like that place bc apparently there are gangs there n shit..oh freakin well!! im freakin goin to see a movie..not to hang out..wut the hell?!?!?! wutever..i cant wait to leave here!! i cant stand my parents!! they always treat me like the biggest piece of shyt in the world..when i dont freakin do anything!!!
*yesterday was an awsome day!! it was halloween..i didnt go trick or treating..i didnt feel like it this year..so me n my mom went out to dinner..and jeff came over..it was great! his parents are in cali and he wasnt doing anything..and hey neither was i..haha..so we hung out..it was alot of funn!!
*i get to go to work tomorrow!! yippee freakin skippy!! i wanna new job so bad i hate workin there its so incredibly boring!! i do absolutely nothing all day!! i literally nap the whole time..and 1-6..that means i cant watch football!! thats ok though bc new england plays on monday!! and we dont have school on tuesday..so ill be watchin that!!! and i dont think im goin to dance..ill tell my dad we dont have it or something..so i can freakin go out!! i hate being home..so anytime i can get out of the house i do!!!
*we only have 2 days of school next week!! hell yeh!!! but my stepmom is home on tuesday..so ill probably take off and go out somewheres cuz i cant stand bein home with her either!! my parents are up my ass all the time..i need to get away!! ahh..and then her n my dad are on vacation the week after that..yippe again! a whole week puttin up with them!! ahh..im seriously gunna shoot myself..but i get my permit on the 13th so ill make my dad get off his lazy ass and take me to the dmv to get it validated the day i freakin get it bc i wanna drive already!! and then whenever i wanna go out ill drive..so then he doesnthave an excuse to say no!! haha..i know my dad doesnt want me to drive bc he thinks im gunna kill massive amounts of ppl..when its probably only him whose gunna die!! haha..well thats mean but oh well..he deserves everything i say to him after all the shyt hes said to me..
*well im really bored n im gunna go keep myself occupied..later
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| bisbee |
[30 Oct 2003|05:12pm] |
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*well my life has gone from bad to worse..i just dont understand life anymore..its all confusing..everything about it..just everything has gone totally wrong! me n brad broke up..that was hard..but i kinda liked someone else..and i didnt want to go out with him and like someone else because that is wrong..we still talk n stuff which is good..i dont wanna lose him..even though were not going out i still love him..
*the guy that i liked screwed me over..not once but TWICE! why did i fall for it again?? he did it to me before and i thought this time he wouldnt do it bc he actually told me he liked me..and i found out he wasnt gunna ask me out and i had to ask him out..so i was going to..i mean last thursday he told me he liked me and then i asked him again sunday and he said he didnt..how can you like someone and 4 days later just not?? makes no sense to me! he says its better to go out with someone in your grade or no one at all...but wut he doesnt realize is he gave up..AGAIN..the one true person that actually saw something in him..like dez said..one day hes gunna remember this and wish he took a chance on me..but oh well!!!
*then theres these other 2 guys..they both were like oh your hot and id hook up with you n stuff..but i like them both too..they are both really cute and are realli funny and have great personalities..and can keep me laughing for hours! i love that in a guy..they gotta make me laugh..bc then you would be boring..but maybe i gotta hang out with them..maybe they dont want a relationship..but i did ask one of them if they would ever go out with me and they said yeh so maybe he does..i dunno
*things at home still suck..i cant talk to my dad about anything anymore without him complaining about something im saying or something im doing wrong or just something!! he wont let me see jenn..bc he thinks shes a bad influence on me..but he doesnt understand wut shes going through..he didnt grow up with his dad hating him and his mom dying when he was young and having no where to live and everything! i know wut shes going through bc i have been with her through it for all these years..and shes like a big sister to me..and i cant lose her bc my dad doesnt understand anything! he yells at my constantly about school..thats all he cares about..cant end up like your father and go to mercer..i dont wanna go there..but everything i do in school is a mistake..to him all i care about is the computer and my friends..but he doesnt understand anything!! hes not a girl..he doesnt know wut i go through all the freakin time..i cant leave..bc i got no where to go..my mom wont let me live with her..she thinks my dad will go to the cops and say im a runaway..bc if i do leave they have to go to court again and everything..they have been to court enough for me n tommy..they dont need to go one more time
*i started behind the wheel on tuesday..im so excited..2 weeks i get my permit..which is good!! im doin really good..my dad yelled at me for takin behind the wheel too..wut the hell dude!!! i have to freakin take it..he said to me i should tell hutchinson that i have experience..okay your stupid! if i freakin tell him that its not gunna make me not get my permit..he doesnt want me driving and i know it! im such a good driver and hutch told me that!!
*im lookin at colleges!! i know its kinda early but i gotta see where i stand with schools and where i wanna go and need to look for the good ones..not the ones in good spots..ive had my eye on drexel for years..its such a good school..i need to get good grades though..which is kinda impossible for me right now..but well see wut happens..me and my mom are gunna go up to drexel and look at it and see how good it is..i really wanna go so i hope its really good
*well i gotta go do a project for desiree..im doin her eulogy..peace out
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| *fo shizzle |
[19 Oct 2003|06:46pm] |
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wow its been like 2 freakin months! ive had so much shyt goin on that i havent been online lately..with school and drill and work and dance and brad..thats alot! its been a month and a half with brad..and im not sure if i wanna be with him anymore..we fight constantly and i have so much goin on and i just get so frustrated with him sometimes and i hate that! and i wanted him as my bf when i met him..but now i dont want a bf..i wanna be able to see other ppl like i could when i wasnt attatched..and i feel like i cant even talk to guys iwthout him getting mad at me! i felt like without a bf i was lonely..but no that i have one i dont want one..and i want that lonely feeling again! that sounds super confusing but i dont know how to put it lolz..
anyways..school is good..i got gym 1st..english 2nd..sociology/psychology 3rd..algebra2 4th..advanced mechanical drawin (that sounds smart!) 5th..lunch 6th..physics 7th..history 8th..and band 9th..i like my schedule this year..except for gym..i hate havin it first pd..it sucks! work is gay..and boring..i sit there and do absolutely nothing and time goes by so SLOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and drill is just great..not! today was music in motion at steinert..it was good...especially with #2!!! haha dez! blose cried again! cuz we are just so damn good!!!!! i got to hold the banner with jenny when they band played the star spangeled banner...i felt so special! lol! it was so cool..all these ppl were there and stuff..yeh..and next saturday is our competition at neshaminy!! best band front for the 3rd year!! we hope! we always get it..its great!!!!! im so excited!!!!!!!!!!
the homecoming dance was friday! that was so awsome! i danced with a certain guy ; ) which was great..but brad sed he couldnt dance so i told ppl i would dance with them and then all of a sudden he comes up behind me and starts dancin! what the hell! why would u lie bout sumthin like that..oh well wut ever..hes comin over bc he wants to work it out but i dont bc im set on my decision..and i doubt its gunna change..
well im outta here..peace<3
iLu#2 lol!
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| sun is fun! |
[20 Aug 2003|07:52pm] |
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well band camp started this week..which sucks major ass..i got like 35 different tan lines..but its all good...........right now im talkin to lindsay on the phone....her little sister is havin her birthday party..its a spongebob party..and i just got to sing happy birthday!!!!! well...jr started school last monday..and i havent had a good convo since then..hes been pmsing i guess!! i hope he still comes up for xmas..........well my SWEET 16 was friday..and i was grounded by my freakin father bc i took my car out with desiree..and they saw that it was parked different..so basically i couldnt lie..and i put 25 miles on the car..and no one else could have done it..so..i got my cell phone taken away..but i got it bak yesterday..and im grounded for a loooong time..hopefully for like another couple of weeks or so...saturday was my party....it was supposed to be a luau at my house..but my parents threw me a surprise party!!!!!!!!! it was alot of fun!!..friday night i went to chevys for dinner..and they all sang to me and i got a sombrero!!! its so hot!...and at my party i came in 3rd in the limbo!! heh...band camp is almost over..its like just started..as much as i dont like it..ill miss it..but i can just go to lindsays to see the hot guy..who will remain anonymous...heh!..but im outta here..peace out girl scout
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| *kinkyness : )* |
[22 Jul 2003|08:27pm] |
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well jenn (my girlfriend LOL!!) is here!! shes here til thursday..which has been really fun! we went joyridin in my car today! and smoked alot..oh well..i havent done it in a long time..it was fun! i spilled gatorade on my brand new rug..pops is gunna kill me..but oh well..right now jenn is lookin at my yearbook while im gettin ppls addresses for my party! its like 3 weeks away! i cant wait..which means my birthday is 25 days away! im so freakin excited! the only things i want for my bday are a surprise party and jr to come up here..i cant wait til december..thats too long..and its too cold! my partys gunna be a luau! holler! lol!!!!!!!!!!! but i dont think jrs gunna come up here now bc i guess were in a fight i dont even know..im so confused..i hate that feeling when someone who means so much to you is mad at you..it sucks! its all bc of caitlin too! she like got his cell phone number and called him and was talking about me or whatever..cuz she kept laughin and then looking at me..so i dont know what was up..it seemed like they were talking about me..which i assumed..but i hate assuming stuff..but anyways..im outta here to go upstairs and watch some tv with jenn..later........OoOo yeah..i forgot..and tomorrow i get to go and let the dentist figure out what to do with my wisdom tooth..and were goin bowling!!!!!!!!!!!! with mike and danny!! h0LLer! oh yeah..one more thing..bryons a bitch and he can suck my cock : ) jenns mine and just bc shes hangin out with me doesnt mean you gotta pms about it..get over yourself and grow up! peace out : x
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