Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Dave's Blurty:

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Thursday, August 28th, 2008
12:40 am	I'm back! I was taking a stroll down memory lane and decided to go ahead and start this up again. I'm, once again, stuck in limbo, waiting for great things to happen. I have approx. 3 months before I leave for Iraq and nothing to do before then. There was this insurance agent job...yes...I thought to myself, "Golly, I don't think enough people hate me! What should I do to correct that?!" Thus, insurance agent. I shot through the training in record time and survived a week in the field before I realized why it wasn't going to work. The average agent takes his first 3 motnsh to establish a client base to feed him refferals and sales. If I did work my ass off for 3 months, I'd...go...to...war.......? Well, James, can't you work and just use the client base when you come back? The answer is, "no" a big fat "NO." So, I quit. After investing $500 into this endevour, I quit. A terrible fear of mine has come true; I am that loser that people remember from high school who never amounted to anything. Over two years after graduation and I've got $250 to my name. No special skills (except a much deeper understanding of insurance) and no real plan that I'm happy with. What can you do? Drink water, change your socks, drive on. It sucks to talk to my friends at school. I wish I could've gone to this semester but I would've been pulled early, no doubt. It's not like I've got the money for a dorm or anything either. James, get a job...anywhere! Just get some money! Well, I have a job of sorts lined up...next week. I'll work from Tuesday after labor day through September. After that, we'll see what's up. Current Mood: anxious (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 20th, 2006
1:11 pm	HAHA illegal! I've stolen a computer for a bit so ican do this so i don't have much time. Write to me at my military training from now to sept 17 the address must look like this: PFC Reardon, James P Bco 35th Engr Bn FLW, MO 65473 on the back of the envelope place a number 3 please I love you all (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 29th, 2006
10:28 pm	So long and thanks for all the fish Good book...read it if you haven't and for god's sake don't take it too seriously. Certainly has been awhile since my last entry worth the term, "update" so I figured I'd give it a shot while i'm still in a semi-coherent mood. *after a 30 minute nap* OK! so much for that theory...how about a new idea! I'm leaving...July 26th I'll be gone and never see many of you again. Woe and tears and many other sad things (sorry I can't be serious about it or I really will get upset). However, I still love you all and I want to hear all the crazy stories related to college and the horrors of freshmen year...so click that friggen comment box and leave me your address...if not your address, leave me some means of contacting you so that I might get that address because, when in training, writing is your friend. Don't wanna leave that kinda stuff in a public journal? e-mail me at damienmagnus@gmail.com and leave it there...i promise it'll be safe. If I'm ever gonna talk to you again I'm going to need that info...the first people I'm seeing/contacting after I return are those who kept me company at training...and c'mon you know you wanna be able to say you've got a friend who blows shit up for a living ^__^ I'll be having a going away party...I just don't know when hehe...info shall be posted and distributed asap...not like it maters because i think maybe 4 people read this anymore...mission accomplished reardon (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 11th, 2006
1:08 pm	Is this just a dream afterall? So today's the day; I'll go through the superficial ceremony and become an "adult". It's amazing how many times that has already happened. The first time you have sex you become a "man" (if you're already a guy of course). May 18, 2005 I swore into the military and became an "adult", a "warrior", and of course a "man". I've turned 18 so I'm legally an "adult". I have several jobs and pay taxes so I'm an "adult". It's all just a title that doesn't really change a thing *shrug* but it makes my mom happy so onward and upward. 4 years have past since I came to apex high and even more friends have come and gone their separate ways. My life has always been full of people that make me smile for awhile but then one of us has to leave and we lose touch. I can do that for anyone but I certainly don't want to do that for many of you. High school has been the first time and place in my life where I've found people that make me feel human and semi-normal. I don't want to lose those people now. I'm not going to worry about it though...we'll keep in contact if we can and if we can't there will always be the memories of times gone by fading slowly into the darkness of our minds like a dream we long to remember. 4 years...wow That's a long time but looking back I feel like it was too short. I'm eager to begin my life but I feel ill-prepared for the trials that lie ahead. I wish I had a love. Not for sex but for the support and direction. When I was at basic ((I'm sure so many of you are sick of me starting sentences like that)) I thought of Laura a lot and it made my suffering at the time feel somewhat lessened. I wish i had someone I could just tell things to and share life with if only for a short while. I've already said in a previous entry (or was that the netry that was deleted?) that I can't get in a serious relationship for now because I'll be gone for so long. I won't drag someone through all the pain of a long-distance relationship. A good friend of mine told me that I need to stop looking into the future and just do what makes me happy now...so I might just take a risk and see if there is any heart left in me to bet. Current Mood: optimistic (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 8th, 2006
10:39 pm	You know what pissed me off? I had a whole entry written up and then the power blacked out for a second...poof...all gone! Now I remember why I never update this thingy...well that and the obvious fact that it's utterly pointless because everything I write up here will be interpretted as a plea for attention or just me whining... ...oh my... ...that was negative... ...let's try that again shall we? *clears throat* School's out forever and the past few days have been a blast. We'll begin with tuesday. My beloved Ash and I travelled the world in search of an adventure we never really found though we did decide that getting a fish was probably not the best of ideas for right now. I got around to seeing Liz for the first time in what feels like an eternity though it was just a few weeks. Then dear Juniper called me and said we were having dinner at Chili's before going to her place for a gathering. It was a wonderful time of carefree goodness and I got to see SB again. I like her a lot more than I remember. I also had a long conversation with Mama Trepper. She always makes me feel good about myself because she never misses a chance to tell me that she is proud of me and that she thinks I'm a wonderful person. Regardless of how little she may know about me, it still makes me feel good. Something has just come up and i need ot cut this off bye (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 6th, 2006
9:38 am	All growed up I've been reading the notes that people have written me over the years. Yes, I have kept most every single one of the random messages that you have passed to me in the halls or the serious letters that turn into publishable written dialouge. It strikes me now just how much I've changed; a full circle of drugs, sex, and violence to the quixotic pacifist who demands hugs instead of drugs and back again. I'm wondering if this is my cycle or if I'll just grow into a soldier now. I liked the quixotic pacifist more than anything I've ever been. People liked me and I had the ability to love them. I could dream a little dream and live there instead of reality. Life was so much more fun back then. Now...now I wait for training that will dismantle my soul a little more and hallow me out a little deeper until I am the ideal soldier...a killing machine. I've given up on love at this point in time because I'll be off doing absurd things that no one in their right mind should find sexy for the next 2.5 years. Maybe after all that I can do something with my life that will do more than dig my way to hell. Do you remember how we met? We've changed so much since then eh? Tell me about what you remember from the earlier days of our friendship and what you wish I had never given up, please. I miss being a kid and I want to reminiss again. Curling up in Jen's house as one big pile of puppy love with the rest of the kidney. Sex wasn't even an idea then...just the feeling of someone close who you knew loved you was enough to make any of our problems melt away for just that bit of time. I could act on impulses and take away any wrong acts with a simple apology. Wearing straight jackets to school just to see what people do about it. Demanding to be different and trying so hard to fit in at the same time. Now my actions can follow me for the rest of my life and what people think about me actually does matter. I can't dream anymore because reality rushes up too quickly with a baseball bat to shatter any escape I might conceive. I've spent my whole life trying to evade the social trap that an education and society springs on all of us but now I sit here thinking of what to do when I retire because the rest of my life has already been planned out. Plans and people change...that's why I've got so many back-ups. It's a sad way to be and I don't like it. I want to be Dave, Dami-chan, the vampire, Damien Magnus, Cassanova, The Puppy, the cape guy, or the weird kid who bites people again...not the soldier...not the man who barely graduated high school...and especially not the guy who can help everyone else with their relationships but is doomed to be alone. Something I've fought so hard against seems to be my destiny now. ~Dave~ PS I'll be shipping out july 26...before that time be sure so send me your name, address, and means of calling you during the summer and school year before then so I can write to you while I'm away. I'll be getting back 6 weeks later only to ship out to flight school asap after that. you can e-mail that info to Damienmagnus@gmail.com Current Mood: lonely Current Music: it bothers me that there isn't a "lost" mood (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 13th, 2006
2:27 pm	I know kung-fu??? Last night was a jolly good time with Juniper, Lynch, and a semi-new member of my friends list, a girl named Liz. She very sweet, almost appallingly innocent, and cute as can be. She's a sophomore and I don't want to corrupt the poor child so I will keep my distance but she seems to have been having some issues with her original group of friends so I'll be sticking around and trying to keep her safe for the next 3 weeks. Gods, soon my influence at that school will disappear. The life of the high school king will be over and I'll be just another drone of society. Every second that passes erodes away the time between now and when I must make a decision for my future. I'm going for teh helicopter thing becuase it will allow me to keep an eye on my cousin and teach me something that I can use in the civilian life. Not too many people can say they've been trained by the military to fly. I was picking up my mom's mother's day cake today when I drove passed a dojo called the way of the dragon. Cheesey I know but I saw a halbred hanging on one of the walls so I had to walk in just to get a closer look. HIGH QUALITY STEEEEEEEL! There were a few classes I was looking into taking: Shao-lin Kungfu, grappling, a bunch of others that I'm not even going to try to remember how to spell or pronounce but the style that bruce lee designed is available, as well as an urban ops combat thingy. We're looking at a major drain on James's finances but this sounds like a really good place for me to look into. I'd like to be formally trained for a change. Life is good, though I'm lonely and will remain as such for quite some time. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 6th, 2006
11:07 am	because I said I would Respond to this and... 1. I'll respond with something random about you 2. I'll challenge you to try something 3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you 4. I'll tell you something I like about you 5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you 6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of 7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you 8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours (16 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 1st, 2006
6:09 pm	This moment is all there is... Upon further meditation and counsel from a very wise individual I have established that I do indeed think too much and often unnecessarily. The future scares me...no shit it is scary for everyone but it will come regardless of my conquering it or prior planning that will undoubtably fall through. I spend so much time worrying about the impending future that I am missing the last golden moments of my life as a child when I can claim ignorance or even apathy and no one will be hurt. I will live for today and hope that tomorrow won't hurt as much as the past (which I must stop regretting). After all, "if life were easy, everyone would live it." (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, April 29th, 2006
9:41 pm	Boredom Strikes! *duh duh dunnn* Am I just a depressing person? I had a lot of thinking time recently and it struck me that whenever I think, I get depressed. So now I wonder if it is just the simple truth that I am a depressing person. Readers of this blurty would probably agree. Reasoning behind that is I put my thoughts and feelings up here with limited amounts of shielding. Depressing blurty= depressing Dave? *shrugs* the world may never know. I know interested you all are in my plans(or lack thereof) for the future so I'll satisfy for hunger and list the current plan here: NO college..at all..ever...the official statement is "I'm taking a semester off" when I really mean "I'm done with school and I'm pretty ready to finish up this whole 'life' thing too" I play cops and robbers now along with GI Joe like a good little kid but eventually that game is going to get too serious and I'll either end up hurt/dead or someone important will end up in a bag. Movies pay me enough to survive in my rent's house but I won't be going anywhere if i don't make some more money soon High school ended weeks ago...just no one told the teachers to stop giving out assignments Have you ever been alone in a crowd? It's colder than ice. I have some major issues it turns out. Worse than I thought. Worse than I could've imagined. I've got issues with how I fit into society, my self-image is slightly less than the amoeba shit, every relationship I've ever had revolved around sex, the idea of killing doesn't strike me as harsh or inhumane, and ever time I see a fire I want it to consume me and take all that away. Fucked up? you betcha! Now before we get on the topic of how emo James is being tonight let's consider this, I just stated that I'm more fucked up than I thought. I'm ACTUALLY CONSIDERING GETTING PROFESSIONAL HELP! I can't though. If I did I would have recent stuff on my record and my military record would be tainted again and I wouldn't be able to get into flight school so the only hope of a future I have right now would be flushed. So I am officially entitled to being emo on my blurty because I admit to being pathetic and not having the ability to seek the help I might want...even if I do hate them. enough about that right now...actually...just enough about that in general. I think I need to figure out what love is again because my last definition is still stinging a bit. It's the end of senior year...not the time to start a relationship but I'm lonely and i don't want sex anymore so I'm very worried about my well-being at this point. If I spend much more time single I may lose all skill that I once had. this is such a stupid entry...after you read it I want a vote in my comments on whther or not you think i just should've deleted this thing. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, April 17th, 2006
12:04 pm	A "Real" Entry OK well Dave has been this uber-depressed nazi from hell for far too long and he thought it would be nice to simply update with a happy (though probably short) entry. So here we go! I got job!...Like a real, teenage, totally legal job! I'm now an employee of Consolidated Theatres in the Beaver Creek Commons branch. So I'm a movies bitch...w00t...starting pay is $6.75/h which is crap but I can cope. I hope it turns out to be as much fun as it looks. Oh yeah, EVERYONE WHO GOT THE JOB KNOWS ME! even my good friend Marc. Shortly after leaving the movies, Marc and I met with Juniper and a few broughton kids at Jaycee park. We had a good time for awhile but it was so hot we decided it would be best to retire to some AC. We went back to Lisa and Kelly's hoose and watched many movies and made soda floats and had a good time. I'm soo sorry Juniper that I never called. It died around 6:20-30 but Marc and I stuck around until 11...we just kept claiming to be leaving soon but never did. If I thought it was gonna last that long I SOOOOOOOO would've called you. *scouts honor* ^^;;; After most everyone left I got to curl up with Lisa and Marc of course kept Kelly. It was nice. Not sexual at all. One of the few moments in my life where I can say I had a great time just being close to someone that I can't see myself dating for the sake of ruining what I've got. I really needed tonight...just to curl up with someone and be comfortable. It's been awhile since I could really rest in someone's arms. There is no greater way to nap than with someone that close to you. I'll take this moment to reiterate(sp?) the fact that I did not mean to imply anything sexual at all toward either Kelly or Lisa! I feel like I'm beating a dead horse by saying it but I want that to be clear. I'll take the next moment to thank Lisa for being my cuddlebuddy tonight: My past entries can testify just how much I've needed it. So farewell to all and to all a goodnight. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, April 10th, 2006
8:54 pm	Why do we love the ones we love? So I did the prom thing...not a whole lot to report there. I felt some tensions between the military branches and danced with everyone BUT my date, Jill. It's not that I dislike her...I just wasn't around her when I was in dancing mode (yeah I'm a bad date and ran off very frequently). I even took her to an afterparty I wasn't invited to and drove off to my own. I went to Juniper's and had a jolly time...it felt good to be around friends without drama and hate floating in among the love. Speaking of love, let's get to the title of this entry; Why do we love who we love? I am madly in love with all the wrong people for all the wrong reasons. I click with a person or have one good conversation with them and I suddenly debate asking them out. So, I am an idiot when it comes to the ways of love because I can turn on and off the charm that is buried somewhere deep inside me and whip out all these appealing characteristics that will shock and amaze...however once I've had the victory of getting her to say yes I lose interest and end up hurting her. I'm a bad person for this reason too. I've had a few real relationships before (and by "few" I mean "less than a few") that have now ended with me still thinking about her constantly. Smell really is the sense most closely tied to memory because I occasionally pick up a smell that reminds me of her in the most random of places. On the rare occasions that I do see her it is in passing and I want to give her so much more than a hug because feeling her against me, wrapped in each other's energy, is still the most right feeling in the world. However, even that hug is against some rule that was made without my vote; she has another and I cannot shine a light to the stability that they offer her. So what do I have now? An addiction to someone that I am no good for. I cannot offer anything to her but a short escape from reality before having it come crashing around her like an avalanche of school and society. I know this and have decided that it would be best if that escape did not exist for the sheer fact that I love her too much to put her through that hell. ...but still... ...She was my light. I'm quite certain by this point in time we've all figured out who I'm talking about and no you don't have to worry I will not act on these emotions no matter how tempting they may be. Regardless of what you may think of me I really do have a lot of will power when I need to. It hurts so much to ignore her. I still read her journal and it kills me to know that there will never be another entry talking about her feelings toward me...even without mention of my name. I'll never merit a place in her profile or anywhere else that she boasts of her amazing friends. I could be something important to her emotions but her mind and body would not survive the dive she would need to take for me. I can't put the option out again. I just feel very lonely after prom and wanted to vent. Why can't I love someone else? don't bother with comments unless you've got something important to say. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 2nd, 2006
11:54 pm	NCSU...fuck you! As my oh-so-mature title implies, I did not make it into the esteemed ranks of NC State. Perhaps it is because I slacked off too much during...life...but they don't like me so they can go to hell while I head off to my own personal plan B: Iraq! Because I feel compelled to tell you all my plans here they are: ~Go to AIT (ship-date in late July) ~Come home and report to my RSP unit(the peeps I go to now) ~Report to my home unit (the command unit I'll be working with/for) ~Request immeadiate deployment to the most hostile of regions After that things sorta split off into possibilities: A)I die in Iraq B)I return only to transfer into active duty Army C) I get injured and get an honorable discharge if B should occur: I get sent some place else and live on post where things will be swell for awhile until C) occurs or I do something stupid to get discharged or just get bored with killing for a living...in which case advance to "GO"...don't worry about the $200 If C occurs at any point in time: Advance to "GO" GO - I don't know...I'll be a pretty useless individual after that...maybe I'll work up the guts to off myself? Nah I'm still too much of a chickenshit for that...maybe decide to go to college? If they don't want me now why would they want me later? Ahh, the finer things in life... James, how could you call yourself useless after serving in the Army, being a suicide councelor (officially and unofficially), helping create and defend state laws regarding homosexuality in a positive light, saving the lives of dozens, taking more, and the whole time dancing this dance with a smile on your face?! Welllllllll, to be honest it's because of two reasons: 1)I'm one crazy mother fucker 2) If you're being harassed, assaulted, endangered in any way I'm the person to call. I can make or break dozens of bombs and bomb-like situations but when you ask me to be a standard 9-5er I can't do it. Laura described me as the rough and out of control part of a wave...the break...but even waves have their calm times and my calm times are the hours or days between emergency calls at 2 in the morning. I'm emergency support but in day-to-day living...i "suck" as one close friend put it. I'll miss you all but it seems that I'll be gone for good this time around. It has been fun, though I'd expect to fall of contact with a majority of you shortly after AIT. I'm going to shrug it off and pretend it doesn't hurt because it's the worst pain someone can inflict on me. This will be interesting. Do you know what happens to someone who commits suicide? They forget about it and keep living in their own hell. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006
6:13 pm	Some Songs For Thought My life is brilliant. My love is pure. I saw an angel. Of that I'm sure. She smiled at me on the subway. She was with another man. But I won't lose no sleep on that, 'Cause I've got a plan. You're beautiful. You're beautiful. You're beautiful, it's true. I saw your face in a crowded place, And I don't know what to do, 'Cause I'll never be with you. Yeah, she caught my eye, As we walked on by. She could see from my face that I was, Flying high, [ - video/radio edited version] Fucking high, [ - CD version] And I don't think that I'll see her again, But we shared a moment that will last till the end. You're beautiful. You're beautiful. You're beautiful, it's true. I saw your face in a crowded place, And I don't know what to do, 'Cause I'll never be with you. You're beautiful. You're beautiful. You're beautiful, it's true. There must be an angel with a smile on her face, When she thought up that I should be with you. But it's time to face the truth, I will never be with you. ^^^James Blunt's "You're Beautiful"^^^ I could stay awake just to hear you breathing Watch you smile while you are sleeping Far away and dreaming I could spend my life in this sweet surrender I could stay lost in this moment forever Well, every moment spent with you Is a moment I treasure I don't wanna close my eyes I don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you, babe And I don't wanna miss a thing 'Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream will never do I'd still miss you, babe And I don't wanna miss a thing Lying close to you Feeling your heart beating And I'm wondering what you're dreaming Wondering if it's me you're seeing Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together And I just wanna stay with you In this moment forever, forever and ever I don't wanna close my eyes I don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you, babe And I don't wanna miss a thing 'Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream will never do I'd still miss you, babe And I don't wanna miss a thing I don't wanna miss one smile I don't wanna miss one kiss Well, I just wanna be with you Right here with you, just like this I just wanna hold you close Feel your heart so close to mine And stay here in this moment For all the rest of time Don't wanna close my eyes Don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you, babe And I don't wanna miss a thing 'Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream will never do 'Cause I'd still miss you, babe And I don't wanna miss a thing I don't wanna close my eyes I don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you, babe And I don't wanna miss a thing 'Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream will never do I'd still miss you, babe And I don't wanna miss a thing Don't wanna close my eyes Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah I don't wanna miss a thing ^^^Aerosmith's "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing"^^^ It�s hard for me to say the things I want to say sometimes There�s no one here but you and me And that broken old street light Lock the doors We�ll leave the world outside All I�ve got to give to you Are these five words when i Thank you for loving me For being my eyes When I couldn�t see For parting my lips When I couldn�t breathe Thank you for loving me Thank you for loving me I never knew I had a dream Until that dream was you When I look into your eyes The sky�s a different blue Cross my heart I wear no disguise If I tried, you�d make believe That you believed my lies Thank you for loving me For being my eyes When I couldn�t see For parting my lips When I couldn�t breathe Thank you for loving me You pick me up when I fall down You ring the bell before they count me out If I was drowning you would part the sea And risk your own life to rescue me Lock the doors We�ll leave the world outside All I�ve got to give to you Are these five words when i Thank you for loving me For being my eyes When I couldn�t see You parted my lips When I couldn�t breathe Thank you for loving me When I couldn�t fly Oh, you gave me wings You parted my lips When I couldn�t breathe Thank you for loving me ^^^This is the perfect song from me to you...thanks from my good pal Bon Jovi^^^ Thank you for loving me even if you can't anymore. (Comment on this)
Friday, March 17th, 2006
8:23 pm	Back from vacation Since my break up with Laura I have been reconditioning myself to be more independent...exciting...stable. In short I've destroyed whatever James was when he was an underclassmen and I've been working on building something better. Now, I have the ability to be mature and childish in the same breath. I've come to grips with so much of my past that I now tell stories on a regular basis. I have stopped my whorish ways for the most part and intend on remaining single unless I meet someone new of quintessential quality. I have stopped being the peer councelor...well I'm in the process of stopping. I'm sick of being scared to not answer my phone or, god forbid, turn it off. I'm only a kid myself and having other people put their lives in my hands at the most random of times is too much to ask; especially when I hardly know who that person is. The drama kids I've been playing with lately are a wonderful bunch. I have such a wonderful time being perverted and artistic and beautiful with these people who seem to have crawled out of a storybook: A converted Catholic who plays the big brother in his own way. A genuinely perfect person aside from the fact that she is insane. The lost girl who refuses to show the world her pains, making her all the more beuatiful...and untouchable. They have futures far beyond me but when I'm with them...life is a stage...one big game to play with for the time being until the sun sets on this chapter and we have to go our separate ways...to college, other countries, other lives...I'm going to enjoy them while I've got them and leave it at that. "...I am physically and mentally tough..." I am stronger than I have ever been before. Life isn't clear and it is difficult but I see it for what it is and I don't lie to myself anymore. I've drawn back the blanket from over my eyes and now I stare the mosters in the face. I see so many things now and I change what I can while accepting that which I cannot. It turns out that I have morals, hopes, dreams, fears, and values but they are different from average people. I look at things from such a bizzare angle from others sometimes that they feel the need to tell me I'm wrong...not this time I'm not! This last bit goes out to one person in particular...I'm not even sure if she reads this anymore: I've been distant because I've been doing the reconstruction that our last conversation showed me I needed. Now I am prepared to be there for you. I will not be your lap-dog or someone who simply doesn't understand. I am not beneath you and now I can prove it. I still love you but one of the things I've had to come to grips with was the fact that we can never be a couple again...at least no time soon. So now I offer you my services in every possible way that you may need me...not in a position of servitude, rather as a peer who is not facing times as hard as yours who is willing to lend his strengths. g'night everyone! ~James...just James~ Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: I'm watching poker on TV (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 21st, 2006
11:53 am	interesting story Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton. One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report: Titanic:..... $29.99 Clinton:..... $29.99 Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read Clinton:..... Over 3 hours to read Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. Clinton:..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist. Clinton:..... Bill is a bullshit artist. Titanic:..... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar. Clinton:..... Ditto for Bill. Titanic:..... During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined. Clinton:..... Ditto for Monica. Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit. Clinton:..... Let's not go there. Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewellery. Clinton:..... Monica's forced to return her gifts. Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life. Clinton:..... Clinton doesn't remember Jack. Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen. Clinton:..... Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either. Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death. Clinton:..... Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 10th, 2006
6:37 pm	Singing hurts my soul I know NOTHING about songs, singing, or music...especially not how ot read music. I look at the pretty dots and if it's higher or lower on the bar than the previous one than i raise or lower my voice. I don't know the nifty tricks or terminology. WHAT THE HELL IS AN OCTAVE!?! I was told that i sing an octave too low so i raised my voice but I was suddenly off-key...so an octave has nothing ot do with how high my voice is? AHHHHHHHH! I had some fun being a pickpoket in rehersal and later I get robbed by two girls working the streets if ya know what i mean. I've established that 4th period is now a waste of my time so I'm not going to go anymore. My world is suddenly spinning out of control and I don't know what to do. I just need to handle a few problems and I'll be ok...I'll be ok...I'll be... (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 8th, 2006
3:00 pm	Hello World My name is James Patrick Reardon. I was born in many places but I live in North Carolina in a small town called Apex. There I live a pretty normal teenage life with my family of two understanding and fair parents, a 25 year-old sister, a 20 year-old brother, and a 14 year-old sister. I know a lot of people though I rarely get invited out to do things with them. I am a smart guy but I don't do enough work to have good grades. I have more than the average amount of sex and use this statistic to scoff at those who are less horny than myself. I often exaggerate my stories to make them more fun than they were. This is the truth of my life... ...In another life I was traumatized to the point of pushing people away for fear of hurting them. Later on I was shown that there is more than one way to hurt. I abused so many peple and ruined a lot of lives. Then I died. It took me one year in church to come back to life but I came back as a new kind of person...I was innocent in a new way and so alone. I entered the wide world of high school. I saw people whos lives were not tainted yet and I grew attached to them. The old me and the new me began to fight and for awhile I was someone between the two. Now I'm not so sure they're different people at all. Today...today I'm in the Army and wondering about my future. I've commit acts against my family that may soon surface and make them doubt how much they trust me. If I don't get into NCSU I go to war. I like to act and I'm in a musical as we speak. I have a gf right now but we have an interesting relationship. I'm not sure if I'm ready for it still. Yesterday was Laura's b-day and I was thinking about her most of the day. I don't miss a thing about her on some days...but others...she's all I can think about. There is nothing there for me anymore so I have to move on. Maybe someone that has lived more than one life can't love just one person. Mayb eI just can't love in general. This is the new beginning ot this blurty so stick around...it get's interesting (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, December 26th, 2005
6:07 pm	undergraduate admissions So i had to write an essay in response to this quote "The Leadership Challenge is designed for those with the drive, courage, and work ethic to be all they can be and who aspire to make a difference for their family, community, and nation." So how do I as a potential leader embody these qualities? welllll... General Shelton explains the Leadership Challenge in attending NC State University as a program for one “with the drive, courage and work ethic to be all they can be…”, and as the Vice President of the founding Gay-Straight Alliance at Apex High School and a recent member of the United States Army, I believe that I encompass such essential qualities. In my experience, whether it is delegating responsibilities or executing orders, I have found that a truly effective leader must also have respect and integrity. During my Basic Combat Training (BCT) in Ft. Leonard Wood, MO, I was exposed to an infrastructure that understands the importance of respect, courage, and work ethic in order to prepare future leaders for the responsibilities of defending this country. The training is intense and is designed to reject those who lack the integrity and drive to maintain a solid hierarchy; a unit cannot survive disorder within the chain of command. While I was attending BCT, I earned a position as a Squad Leader, and I was responsible for eleven other soldiers. If any member of my squad did not meet our Drill Sergeant’s standards, I would, as the leader, have to bear the consequences. Likewise, my subordinates relied on me to relay proper orders and a means of executing those orders. Such respect should be earned through displaying a strong work ethic and courage. This year, I was a key constituent in starting the GSA at Apex High School, a group surrounded by much controversy and discrimination. Establishing the Alliance took three years of daily efforts, petitions, and enduring disapproval from peers and staff. After a legal battle and ongoing discrepancies, the Alliance was formed. My motivation for enduring hardships associated with this controversial establishment was my conviction that the GSA would teach tolerance throughout the community. My hope for participating in the Leadership Challenge at NC State is to further the training I have begun by joining the prestigious ROTC Program, and to promote my ranking to officer status. I know I hold the characteristics General Shelton speaks of, as well as the respect and integrity my experience has taught me, and I would appreciate the opportunity to refine myself as a student, soldier, and son at North Carolina State University. It was a lot longer but it was supposed to be under 300 words...I managed to trim it down to 381 or something like that...oops (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 22nd, 2005
7:57 pm	HOW?! How do you define a person? by the things they've done? the people they've helped or hurt? the money or status they gain in their life? How can you describe a person when they're ever changing? James is looking for himself because he doesn't want to get lost...any ideas would be helpful (4 Comments |Comment on this)