im tired of this bullshit   
08:05pm 12/06/2004
  ok im tired of all of amanda's fucking cunt ass friends having me on their friend's list so they can read my shit whenever the fuck they please so as of tomorrow me and felicity are making new journals so you FUCKING BITCHES cant read our shit!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
     Read 1 - Post
 
The Despair Factor   
02:35pm 10/06/2004
  Along the path where the stream is talking, I breathe the mist and continue walking. The wood it whispers in a language of its own. As a sigh escaped my lips I feel the light caress of fingertips that steal away the breath and leave me on my own, waiting by the stairs. Waiting, I despair. Waiting by the stairs. My whole life is a dark room. One, big, dark room. Do I hear the hollow sound, footsteps resounding on this rozen ground, or the familiar disappointment of the echoes of my own? Waiting by the stairs. Waiting, I despair. Waiting by the stair. Waiting, I despair. Somehow I ended up here in between, where there is always the comfort of knowing I'll never be seen when I fall. When I fall. When I fall. I wait for just one touch...and I fall... Weightless. Endless. Faithless. I'll adore you. A single touch before I fade. Painless let me pass through.

~A Fire Inside~
 
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kill me quick.....   
02:15pm 10/06/2004
 
mood: depressed
music: 311-love song (my song for felicity)
everything is so weird right now....felicity had to go to the hospital monday night b/c she was having really bad stmach pains and she was breathing really heavy. she scared the shit out of me so i took her to the hospital and they said it was just really bad menstrul cramps. that sucks. the next day was ok. then yesterday happened. me and fefe broke up. i guess i'm not meant to go out with a girl...i dont know. i mean, i wish i knew. god life sucks right now. i have no best friend and now no girlfriend. i guess i'm not meant for true happiness. b/c i had it last week and lost it this week. i mean i do care about felicity alot-i just dont want a relationship with her that is all about "love" and stuff (that makes no sense!) WTF?! well anyways....i heard that jo is talking shit behind my back which is some shit in its own self b/c she knows how badly i could fuck her shit up. god that pisses me off...to everyone else she acts like she is super pissed and wants to kill me but then on our journal (bitchin bitches) she writes all this shit about how she wishes me the best in life and stuff. whatever...maybe one day things will get back to nomal...
 
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shit........   
12:18pm 07/06/2004
  ok last ngiht i had a dream that it was the last day of school all over again and i was in the parking lot, talking to sunil and we were really close and i said "when will i ever see you again?" and he said "sometime soon" and then he leaned in to kiss me....and i backed away!! why the hell am i dreaming shit like this? i have a girlfriend and i really like her alot. goddamnit!!! im so pissed right now even when i have distanced myelf from sunil, he still fucks up my shit! ugh!!!  
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its funny how you think you know people   
02:48am 07/06/2004
  So you say you fell in love
And you're gonna get married
Raise yourself a family
How simple life can be
Somewhere it all went wrong
And your plan just fell apart
And you aint got the heart
to finish what you started

Yeah you fell in love
And you went and got married
Had yourself a family
How simple life can be
Somewhere it all went wrong
And your plan just fell apart
And you aint got the heart
to finish what you started

The ones that you loved
The ones that you left behind
The ones that you said you tried to find
They tried to find you

Somewhere it all went wrong
And your plan just fell apart
And you aint got the heart
to finish what you started
You walked out that door
To find out where you belong
To fufill your own selfish dreams
I think you might have forgotton

The ones that you loved
The ones that you left behind
The ones that you said you tried to find
They tried to find you

Dropkick Murphys: Walk Away
------------------------------------------------
this song fits perfect for how i feel about jo right now
so does this one
------------------------------------------------
I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
For where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, and nobody's home.
Where she lies, broken inside.
There's no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find a reason why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
For where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her thoughts she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.

She wants to go home, and nobody's home.
Where she lies, broken inside.
There's no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's locked inside, locked inside...oh oh.
She's locked inside, locked inside...oh oh yeah

Avril Lavinge: Nobody's Home
-----------------------------------------
this is a letter i wrote to jo beacuse of what she said to me earlier today and truly hurt me deep!

Jo,
i just want you to know how bad you hurt me today. how dare you say that i treated you like shit! when the hell have i EVER treated you like shit? i have never treated you like shit and i never would ... i have done so much for you and now you just expect me to. WTF?! the only reason you say that i am being mean is because that is how taylor feels and of coursr you'll just go right along with it! your head is so far up her ass it isn't funny. i sure as hell don't appreciate your mom telling me not to upset you like that! excuse me? you know better because i could fuck your shit up joanna. i could have told her why you got mad, seeing as how i wouldn't get your ass from taylor's at 4 in the morning. well i'm so sorry but taylor snuck you out of the house, so she could take you home. i am not responsible for you. i also could tell her that last night, taylor's family let you get drunk as piss with them. that would be cool, then you probably wouldn't be able to see her again. maybe i should tell daddy, huh? would you like that? and why should i give you so much attention? how much attention have you given me in the past few months, huh? i mean, what did you do for me when i was bawling beacuse sunil didn't like me? nothing ... you were arguing with taylor because that's so much more important than your best friend's problems. taylor gets upset with you for no fucking reason jo, she does it to see how far she can push you before you act like the pussy-whipped bitch that you are and beg for forgiveness! to tell you the absolute truth, i hope this little relationship of yours is a crash and burn situation because taylor doeen't love you jo, she is experimenting ... i serioulsy doubt ya'll will make through the next school year. and you don't have to listen to my opinion, there are plenty of other people who feel the same way ... just ask around! and to tell you the truth (again), i hope she does fucking break your heart beacuse you truly deserve it, after the way you treated me! i have done nothing but be there for you and do shit for you over and over again with absolutely nothing in return ... well "fuck you you hoe i don't want you back"! kiss my ass jo ... as far as i'm concerned, we're done being "best friends" ... you can have your cake and eat it too - or shall i say: you can have your bitch and eat her too?! cause i don't give a shit what you do anymore!
Love,
Franklin

hm...makes me wonder why we even makes friends in the first place!

see this is what happened:
friday night we all went out then i took jo and taylor home...what else is new? anyways...then i went to felicity's and then i went home after a while...then i snuck out and went back to see fefe...well we decided to go to wal mart at 4 in the morning!! hahaha anyways jo called me and said can you come get me and take me home? i was like no! if taylor came and got you she can take you home...she hung up on me.... what else is new when she's pissed? so i was like whatever...she didnt talk to me saturday...then sunday i got online and i asked how drunk she got a taylor's brother's bday party and she was like very....wow... anyways and i was like so when are you going to stop being pissed? and she said well im not just pissed that you didnt come to get me...so im like well why else are you pissed? and she said that "we think you are being mean".....i was like WTF?!?!? im being mean to you joanna? when have i ever been anything but nice and wonderful to her...i mean damn i bought her the avril cd, stole her some damn posters, give her cigaretts, take her eveywhere....i never get a thank you...and im mean?! then she said that i treated her like shit....thats what hurt.... she is my best friend and i have never done anything to treat her like shit... that really hurt... and she only said that shit b/c of taylor...i mean she knows i am not being "mean" b/c i dont do shit for her anymroe? wtf? then her mom said "dont upset my child like that again for 2 days" oh...that pissed me off!!! how often does jo do something to upset me? i mean damn...and besides i ought to tell carla whyjo is pissed and that she went and got piss poor drunk with taylor and her family last night...im sure shed be able to see her then....whatever i dont even care about jo anymore...she crossed a hard line to cross with me and i really dont care if i talk to her again! fuck jo-when taylor breaks her heart and she comes running to me for help, thats what im gonna say then move on my merry way....
 
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damn...it's been a while   
08:08am 05/06/2004
  ok....so me and felicity have been dating for almost two weeks...she thinks that she loves me and i have no clue what to do...i mean i do care about her alot and i want her to be happy but i dont think im in love...i mean its only been two weeks!!!!! i told her that i am sure my feelings will grow and i will be in love with her but just not right now....i mean things are still a little bit crazy ya know? i mean they are better than they were b4 but still..... she got all upset b/c she thought i was flirting with sunil and then i saw david at the mall and didnt want to hold her hand and she got all upset...i dont know.... i mean i guess we are good now but i think she thinks that i am uncomfortable around her which i am not...i mean i do love her more so than a friend but im just not in love.....that makes sense right? well i gave her my real journal and she gave me hers and all that shit about anthony kinda pissed me off b/c she said after we went to bainbridge to see him, she decided that that was t...but there is shit in there from the next day that says i love you....she says she doesnt so i dont know... i mean i believe her but this is alot for me to take in i guess...then she cut her arm 3 times b/c she "is stupid for letting me read it b/c she knew i would get upset" so then i cut myslef 6 times for her and one for me! whatever anyways...taylor snuck jo out again and then called me to come take her home and i said no...wow i actually said no to jo...hmm well im sure she pretty pissed but im tired of doing favors for her ass and never getting anything in return so whats the fucking point...i know we are "best" friends and all but im the one who does everything....i mean i got her that god damn avril cd, i take her to see tay, i buy her cigs, i buy her food.....im tired of doing all this shit and never even getting a fucking thanks buddy i mean shit jo be appreciative of something for once instead of tking everything for granted.....you want to do everything with taylor? fine stay with her 24/7 and when she breaks your heart agian...youll come crawling back to me...well sorry im occupied at the moment with my girlfriend so get over it!!! taylor got you into that mess last night and she could get you out, yu cant rely on me for everything....but you know what? i kinda hope you do get in toruble and are grounded for the summer (i doubt that you will b/c your parents are slackers and never officially gound you- they just dont let you go anywhere for a day or so) b/c then you will be just as miserable as i was while you flaunted your relationship with taylor right in front of my face...well i hope she breaks your heart worse than anyone has ever hurt you b4 b/c you need a fucking wake up call and you wont listen to me so who else will you listen to? oh well i really dont care

"i know i wanna kill you like only a best friend could"
 
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last one...i promise   
01:30am 25/05/2004
  [my name is]: franklin
[in the morning i wuz]: sleeping
[all i need now is]: to bewith fefe
[love is]: fun until the drama comes in
[i'm afraid of]: spiders and cops
[i dream about]: i dont really remeber my dreams but if i do they are usually about people

** series one - you
-- Middle name: whitley
-- Birth time: 8:30 am
-- Birthplace : Pheobe Putney
-- Last place travelled: bainbridge
-- Eye Color: green
-- Nail Color: um...regular?
-- Height: 5'10 1/2
-- Zodiac Sign: taurus

** series two - describe:
-- Your heritage: indian and english like most ppl around here
-- The shoes you wore today: my airwalks
-- Your hair: brownish blondish
-- Your weakness: i rarely say no
-- Your perfect pizza: um...sausage and meatballs from cici's is really good

** series three - what is:
-- Your most overused phrase: i dont know
-- Your thoughts first waking up: shit
-- Your current worry: nothing really
-- Your plans tomorrow: i dont know-see fefe
-- Your best physical feature: my eyes? i dont know....maybe my teeth cuz they are way straight
-- Your bedtime: um..when i get tired

** series four - you prefer:
-- sunrise or sunset: sunset
-- gore or horror: arent they the same thing?
-- eastside or westside: huh?
-- stripes or polka dots: um...no
-- Planes or trains: i have never been on a train....well i have been on a subway. does that count?
-- metal or hardcore: both
-- Boxers or briefs: boxers and boxer briefs....depends on what i pull out of the drawer
-- Pools or hot tubs: both

** series five - do you
-- Do you think you've been in love: yes
-- Want to get married: maybe
-- Type w/ your fingers: no i type with my toes....wtf?!
-- Like to take baths: sometimes....when im really tired and sore
-- Get motion sickness: not really
-- Like talking on the phone: sometimes...it depends on who im talking to
-- Like thunderstorms: yes
-- Play an instrument: i kinda can play the guitar
-- Workout: i need to
-- Like reading: not really

** series six - favorite:
-- Body part: my hands
-- Kind of fruit: apple
-- Music to fall asleep to: avril- i know, i know and if jo finds out, i will be pissed!!!!!!
-- Car: black mercedes benz c230
-- Number: 69 hahaha
-- Thing to do: i dont know....fuck? just kidding...i like to go swimming and i like to eat
-- Horror movie: texas chainsaw massacre
-- Color: blue
-- Food: taco bell, zaxby's, wendy's, macaroni, ramen noodles, mashed potatoes, sandwiches, really anything

**series eight - the future:
-- Age you hope to be married: oh lets not try to figure that one out
-- Numbers and Names of Children: maybe 2 gaberial hunter and rebecca kelly
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: i dont know-in a church?
-- How do you want to die: i dont know- not in a car wreck b/c that is one of my biggest fears
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: i have no idea-a human
-- What country would you most like to visit: mexico cuz i can legally drink and it wont cost alot to get there

** series nine - opposite sex:
-- Best eye color: blue
-- Best hair color: blond
-- Best personality trait: funny and nice
-- Best height: not short
-- Best articles of clothing: that blue jean skirt and the pink shoes
-- Best first date location: the movies
-- Best first kiss location: dont matter

** series ten - finish:
-- I eat: alot
-- I think: about fefe right now
-- I am: franklin
-- I adore: my fefe
-- I suck at: math
-- I am obsessed with: well it used to be justin timberlake but i guess i will have to change
-- I can: drive around all day and not get bored
-- I can't wait: until i can move out!!!!!!
-- I am annoyed with: people mostly my family but hey you gotta love em
-- I miss: fefe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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survey   
12:39am 25/05/2004
 
mood: cheerful
music: sevendust-seasons
well i just left fefe's house a little while ago and i am bored so here you go:

[Body]
1. What do you most like about your body?: my teeth
2. And least?: my feet
3. How many fillings do you have?: 1!!!! that is it!!!!
4. Do you think you're good looking?: some have said that i do so yes i suppose i do
5. Do other people often tell you that you're good-looking?: ^

[ Fashion ]
1. Do you wear a watch?: no, i used to but then i stopped b/c i decided that i don't like it
2. How many coats and jackets do you own?: holy crap like 8 hoodies, 2 leather jackets, a ski coat, 2 blazers, a demin jacket, and a few more
3. Favorite pants/skirt color?: jeans-so blue?
4. Most expensive items of clothing?: uh...i have some jeans that cost $60 and i have a leather jacket that was $250
5. What kind of shoes do you wear?: i like my docs and i like flip flops and i like to be bare foot
6. Describe your style in one word: um...franklin

[ Your Friends ]
1. Do your friends 'know' you?: yea, i guess...well i know jo does
2. What do they tend to be like?: fun
3. Are there traits in you that are universally liked? i reckon
4. How many people do you tell everything to?: one...the jojo well ive started to talk to felicity alot more (duh)

[ Music/TV/Film/Books ]
2. Most listened to bands/artists: afi-sevendust-linkin park
3. Do you find any musicians good-looking?: uh...duh
4. Can you play an instrument: kinda
5. Type of music most listened to?: rock-ish
6. Type never listened to?: bluegrass? i think thats what it's called

[ Clothing/Hair ]
1. Do you own any plaid clothing?: yes i have a few plaid shirts
2. Do you own Converse shoes?: yup two pair one blue and one black
3. Do you own Saucony shoes?: yup one black pair
4. Do you own old school Nikes?: uh...no
5. Do you wear tight pants?: unfortunately, yes
6. Is there more than one zipper in your pants?: u...i dont think so
8. Do you own a messenger bag?: no
9. Do you wear your messenger bag across your chest? i dont have one
10. Do you own braces?: no
15. Do you think mohawks are "neat"?: um...well i dont want one but yes theyre cool
18. Do you own a bandana?: yup
19. Do you wear plugs in your ears?: no
21. Have you ever used duct tape as a sewing substitute? yes i have i cannot help the redneck in me
22. Do you own one or more objects with studs or spikes in them?: yup bracelets belt etc.

[ Habits/Beliefs ]
31. Do you smoke cigarettes?: yes
32. Do you smoke cloves?: hell no
36. Do your night time activites usually involve drunken underage vomiting?: not every night...just friday and sat
38. Do you wash your hair less than once a week?: no that is gross...my hair is greasy if i dont wash it daily
39. Have you ever gone a week without a shower?: on
41. Do you know who Jack Kerouac is?: no
42. Do you like Mr. Kerouac?: who?
44. Are you a member of the Makeout Club?: uh...i dont think so
45. Do you say "rad"?: no
46. Do you say "rockin'"?: no
47. Do you say punk "rawk"?: maybe if i am drunk
48. Do you shout the word "oi"?: um...no im not jewish
49. Do you say "punk's not dead"?: no but it isnt
50. Do you say "punk is dead"?: no b/c its not

[ Music ]
53. Do you like bands with "the"?: yup
54. Do you ever precede your own name with "the" at the beginning?: "the franklin"....sorry but NO
57. Are Blink 182 fans posers?: no
58. Do you have frequent debates over what exactly constitutes a sellout?: who fucking cares i hate talking about shit like that
59. Have you ever brought the headlining band food?: no but if it was afi i would
60. Do you have show flyers affixed to your walls?: no but i have posters

[ Basics ]
Name: franklin
Do you like it?: yes i guess
Nicknames: franko, frankali, phrankalynn, fran, franklie, franie, frank
Birthday: may 12
Sign: taurus
School: lee county high school...go trojans :x
Status: I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!!!! WOOT WOOT!!!!
Current hair color: brownish-blond
Eye color: green
Height: 5'10 1/2
Shoe size: 11

[ favorites ]
Color: blue
Sport: baseball and running (thats not really a sport but i used to love it)
Class: i dont go to school anymore....I AM GRADUATING!!!!!! WOOT WOOT!!!!!!

[ this or that ]
Coke/pepsi: coke
Day/night: night
Aol/aim: aim
Cd/cassette: cd-duh
Dvd/vhs: both
Jeans/khakis: jeans
Tall/short: tall
Gap/Old Navy: gap had nicer clothes but old navy is cheap and im not gay anymore so i cant like clothes and stuff now
Lipstick/Lipgloss: um....NO
Silver/Gold: silver is pretty cool


[ love and relationships ]
Do you have a bf/gf?: YES!!!!!!!!
Do you have a crush?: well not really cuz i'm with her
How long have you liked him/her?: a few days
How long was your longest relationship?: 1 1/2 years
How long was your shortest relationship?: 2 days
Who was your first love?: ugh do i have to? *cough-justin-cough*

What are you wearing?: jo's softball t shirt and blue striped boxers
Where are you?: the computer room in my house
Who are you with?: pepper-my cat
Are you online?: uh...yea...duh

[ have you ever ]
Drank?: yes
Smoked?: yes
Had sex?: YES!!!!!!!
Stolen?: yes
Done anything illegal?: yes
Wanted to die?: yes
Hit someone?: yes

[ other ]
Do you write in cursive or print?: print
Are you a lefty or a righty?: righty
What is your sexual preference?: oh damn lets not go there....how about this i am straight for right now
What piercings do you have?: my left cartilage
Do you drive?: yea
Tattoos?: not yet
 
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holy fucking shit! what is going on?   
06:53pm 23/05/2004
  ok well you know how i said im gay and i was alone and all this shit about sunil? well throw it all out the fucking window because i got a GIRLFRIEND!!!! yes thats right a GIRLfriend!!! she is so hot and she likes me and we are going out!!!! im way happy....jo is like huh? you like girls? so is everybody else but i really dont care because i am actually happy!!!!! oh my freaking god i have a girlfriend hahahaha im so happy and i dont care about anyone else!!!! and the best part (well not the best but its pretty damn cool too) we had sex!! yes i franklin whitley sparling had sex with a female!!!! and i liked it! ALOT!!!!!!!! hahahahahaah anyways...im gonna go so bye  
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is this the end?   
08:58am 20/05/2004
 
mood: distressed
music: seether and amy lee - broken
last night madison told me that one day when i walked into the lunchroom in the morning sunil was staring at me and when i walked away he like stared at my ass!! haha i wonder if he really did? hm... oh well here is some shit to read b/c i am sad and i don't know what to do anymore!!! although i have found a true friend in feleicity b/c she is going thru exactly what i used to go thru with my parents...we talked for like 2 or 3 hours last night...but anyways...i'm so scared what if i don't see sunil again after tomorrow? what if that's the end? it can't be over like that....this is what he wrote in my yearbook:

"wish me the best life b/c i wish you the best in all that you do. never forget me b/c i won't ever forget you. you are the only gay guy i would ever tolerate. you've seen me down and you stuck around when everyone else did not understand me. you know a part of my life that most don't know. you showed me different when i thought i was right, for all this you will always be loved!"

i wanted to cry so hard when i read that...if he goes to atlanta and i never see him again then what was the point of me even trying? why did i try so hard to make something happen that wasn't meant to be? is it supposed to be? i don't know....does he know? i have to make the extra effort to talk to him now b/c we won't be together like have been during the school year...if i have to go to atlanta to see him...i will. he means so much to me and i cannot loose sunil...not after all this....not after everything i have done to make him see, or at least try to make him see....this is so frustrating and difficult....i love him so much but i certainly can't tell him that!! but how do i know if he feels the same? what if he is keeping his feelings and emotions inside and wants wo wait until after school is over with and we're somewhere else besides here....what if? god this shit sucks!!!! maybe everything will be ok once school is over with!
 
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boredom.....   
07:39pm 19/05/2004
 
mood: bouncy
music: evenescence-everybody's fool
1. Your name spelled backwards.
nilknarf

2. Where were your parents born?
georgia

3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
um... some song

4. What's your favorite restaurant?
philly connection, johnny carino's

5. Last time you swam in a pool?
last sunday

6. Have you ever been in a school play?
yea...quite a few and i've worked backstage on some too

7. How many kids do you want?
one or two

8. Type of music you dislike most?
blues, gospel, crappy stuff

9. are you registered to vote?
not yet

10. Do you have a car?
yes

11. Have you ever ridden on a moped?
yes and i ran into a tree

12. Ever prank call anybody?
i'm sure i have

13. Ever get a parking ticket?
no, well i got a supena for possession :x

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
i want to sky dive

15. Furthest (Farthest) place you ever traveled?
new york

16. Do you have a garden?
mema does

17. What's the size of your bed?
double


18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
oh say can you see by the dawn's early light?

19. Bath or Shower, morning or night?
bath at night...shower in the morning

20. Best movie you've seen in the past 4 months?
Thirteen

21. What's the next movie you want to see?
Van Helsing

22. Chips or popcorn?
chips

23. Have you ever broken any hearts?
um...yea

24. Premarital sex?
well....duh how else are you supposed to know you want to be with them forever

25. Are you a good cook?
sometimes...when i make a sandwich

26. Orange or Apple juice?
apple juice by itself...but orange juice with vodka!!!!!

27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine?
just a little while ago i went with aunt bonnie, mema, and pop-pop...we went to johnny carino's

28. Favorite type of drink?
water, sweet tea, vodka

29. Best thing in the world?
sunil :x

30. Have you ever broken a bone?
my arm

31. Have you ever won a trophy?
for being a good student in the first grade and for baseball when i was like 12

32. What is your favorite board game?
candyland? god i'm 18 i really don't play board games anymore

33. What is your dream car?
black mercedes benz c230 kompressor coupe or a black h2 hummer

34. Ever order an article from an infomercial?
um...no

35. Coke or Pepsi?
coke

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?
yea...taco bell, redlobster, and old navy

37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?
niacin

38. Who are you going to marry?
i really don't want to get married but if i had to be with someone forever, i would want it to be sunil :x

39. Who would you like to meet?
justin timberlake, davey havok, britney!!

40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
yes

41. What features do you find most attractive in the opposite sex?
opposite? there is nothing attractive about them...well i mean some girls are pretty but i dont want em!

42. Where would you go for a romantic evening?
a hotel room with roses and a warm bubble bath

43. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
oh my god!!! like 137563275632793 no just kidding...like 28?

44. Last song stuck in your head?
enemy-sevendust

45. Any pets?
cat named pepper

46. What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character?
molly shannon

47. What is one thing you would like to learn to do?
play the piano, guitar, and drums

48. What do you do when you are bored?
um...duh!!

49. What's one thing would you want someone to appreciate about you?
huh? i want someone to appreciate me for me? i dont know....

50. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
that the day after tomorrow is my last day of high school....however i'm kinda sad too....
 
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ok major boredness!!!!!   
09:33am 19/05/2004
  The Basics
Male/Female: male
Heterosexual/homosexual/bisexual?: i like penises
Are you certain of your sexual orientation?: um...yea
If not, why arn't you? If you are, how do you know?: um...i just do?!
Your age: 18
How often do you think about sex in a normal day?: quite often...especially if i am bored
How often do you think about other sexual acts besides intercourse?: um....same
Have you ever had sex?: yes
Do you like...
Vaginal sex: well i dont have a vagina so obviously not!!
Anal sex: YES!!! :x
Oral sex: yea
Fingering/handjobs: yea
Something not mentioned above that you like: um... *cough* rimming :x
Which of the above do you prefer?: i like it all
Intrests
What (if any) fetishes do you have?: um...i dont really have a fetish so to say...i guess i like um... tongues? i dont know
Do you like sexual situations with more than one person?: well ive never had a 3some or an orgy so i dont know
With several people of the same sex?: read above
The opposite sex?: um...no
Or even sexual situations with several people of diffrent sexes?: ewwwww!!!! thats like an orgy gross!!!!!! well maybe if i was wayyyyyy drunk
If you haven't tried any of the above, might you in the future? Why/Why not: no i dont know why
Do you have a steady partner?: *sigh* no
Do you use protection?: i have before
How important is foreplay to you: that depends on how bad i want to fuck
The Kiss
Do you like kissing people/a person?: yup
What is your favorite part of kissing?: touching someone else's tongue i guess i just like kissing
Tounge or no tounge?: tongue
Where is the best place to be kissed (on your body): mouth....ears (oh my god!!)....neck.....chest....back....penis :x .... ass :x
Where is the worst place to be kissed (on your body): belly button its just plain weird
Who do you wish you could kiss?: sunil or justin timberlake
How important is kissing in a serious relationship?: um..it can make or break a relationship
And...
What's your favorite sexual position: him sitting and me sitting on top front to back (missionary kinda)
Where is the oddest place you've ever had sex: in the back seat of my old explorer in the rain in the mall parking lot
Where do you want to have sex: in the rain for real, on the beach, in a coffin :x, the backseat of a limo!!!!
Would you mind if people watched?: um...i dont know if im drunk i wouldnt care
How important is sex in your life: well its not that important now because i aint getting none!!!!!
Name a fantasy you have: sunil and justin timberlake
Do you like having sex...
With toys?: ewwww no
In the dark or light?: dark
Outside?: um...yea but at night
In costume?: no
In bondage?: uh..no (remember margaret cho, jo? hahaha)
Submissive/dominate?: i'm "verstaile" hahaha
With lubricant?: not unless it's absolutely necessary
Flavored condoms?: no thats ok
With anything else unusual?: not really
Finally...
Do you like this survey?: um...it was ok i reckon :D

Sex Survey for the Repressed brought to you by BZOINK!
 
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i'm baaack!!!!!!   
09:18am 19/05/2004
 
mood: excited
music: kendra singing "hey it's franklin" mhmm....
ok so i am back at school and nothing has really changed....no one has given me a fucking present yet but it's still only 2nd period....sunil is so cute in his soooo gay shirt....some cap sleeve white v neck shirt with a glittery american flag...hahahaha.....anyways...i want some damn presents!!!! ahhh mindi's mom like doesn't like me now and won't let her come to my party...i'm so mad i think i need to talk to her but mindi said that that would be a bad idea so i don't know....anyways....i am bored in comp. class what else is new?! i'm kinda sad because there are only 2 more days left....tomorrow and friday are for exams so today is actually my last day!!!! :( oh and sunil told me that he is quitting and i was like yea i figured and he's like who told you? well duh sweetie it's kinda obvious that you aren't going to school next year and you aren't graduating this year so what am i supposed to think? anyways.....i love him so much and i really wnat to be with him this summer but i don't know what to say to him about it.....ugh anyways....gotta go love ya'll!!!
 
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i forgot....   
05:35pm 18/05/2004
  i forgot to mention that my dick head step father doesn't want to pay for my fucking lawyer and obviously got into a fight with my mom over it because she called me crying and said that i needed to go to her house as soon as i could (this was friday afternoon) well i was about to go to work and i said well i have to go to work why what happened? then she gave the phone to bob (stupid cunt bitch-god i hate to even mention his fucking name-cocksucker!!!!!!) anyways, andhe goes do you remeber the talk that we had b4 you moved out and i was like what?!? and he asked again and i was like yea i guess so and he's like so what makes you think that i am going to pay for your lawyer and if the tables were turned would you pay for mine? i was like what?!?! so i yelled fuck you into the phone and hung up.....i cried and mema held me and then they said clean up and go to work...well i was pissed and we all know how bad of a temper i have!!! so i went to jo's and got a baseball bat b/c i thought i might need something and i wasn't gonna leave my house with a bat!! anyways, jo tried to stop me but i left and went to mama's house...bob came outside and was like you need to leave and i said why mama told me to come and he said well that was b4 you disrespected me....excuse me!?!?!?! you have disrespected my mama and me ever since you met her and he goes you are not welcome at this house and tried to fucking push me!!! i fucking pushed that asshole back ooohhh i was so pissed by this point that i was shaking...bob was like you think you're man enough swing at me and i'm like fuck you your ass can hit me first bitch and then my mama told me to go and i was like i cannot believe you....you are gonna do this to me again take his side over mine? fuck you you bitch!!! i fucking hate you as much as i hate him!!! so i left and had to pull over because i was bawling like a baby!! then i went to jo's to take the bat back (it was not needed) and she comforted me and i actually relized it this time! then i went home and my grandparents were kinda mad that i went up there but they were sympathetic but i reallt dont care i reallt dont want to talk to her again she has NEVER been there for me and doesnt care so why should i? anyways im really gonna go now so bye bitches!!!!!  
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just some shit   
05:27pm 18/05/2004
 
mood: blah
music: bodies-drowning pool
well i get to go back to school tomorrow...i can't say i'm too excited but i get to see sunil!!!i know i know i'm supposed to be getting over him but i can't help the fact that i truly think i am in love....ugh life sucks...tay is mad at jo what the fuck else is new? i'm so tired of this BS but what can i do? not a damn thing...anyways...i got oss because i wrote a note that said fuck and shit and had terroristic threats in it.....what the fuck ever!! so of course i didn't tell mema because she would flip.....so yesterday i spent the whole day with bradley at garrett's apartment...it is good to see him because i really miss seeing him and spending time with him...today i went to tiffany's house and was with paul all day...playing goldeneye on N64!!! woot woot fun fun fun....um...yea then i went to jo's and we smoked our afternoon cigarette!!! i've had a great day...anyways...i gotta go...i'm getting a new sterro as a late birthday present from my grandparents....i don't understand...i haven't gotten ANY fucking presents!!!! shit man.... not from mema & pop pop, jo, aunt bonnie, anybody!!!! i'm getting pissed because noone had bought anything...MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! just kidding...anyways...oh jo was telling me yesterday about how sunil was telliung her what he wanted to get me for my birthday and i was like "jojo...i love you...tell me...come on.." ya know...i was sitting on her lap and whining and making puppy dog faces but the goddamn hoe wouldn't tell me holy shit that bitch!!! just kidding! anyways....ima go holla at a playa beeotch

P.S i better get a damn birthday present from one of my fucking so called friends tomorrow because if i don't i'm gon be pissed off like a bitch with pms!!!!! dammit!!!!!! (ok i'm done)
 
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i'm famous for the wrong reasons!!!   
10:42pm 13/05/2004
 
mood: relieved
music: the south park theme song hahaha
well, as you all know, i was busted for pot at school...well today the local dinky town paper came out and i'm on the front page...well it's a story about me anyways... it says:

Two Charged With Possession Of Marijuana On School Property
Leesburg Police Officers made two arrests May 4 for possession of marijuana on a school campus. Franklin (my last name) 17 of (my address, well my mom's) was charged with possession of marijuana less than an ounce on school property by Capt. Chris Prokesh. Capt. Prokesh responded to the high school in reference to an informant that advised Assist. Chief George McDonald that they had obtained marijuana from Sparling that day. Capt. Monterry Moody and the narcotics dog were at the scene and Danny (the dog) alerted onSparling's vehicle. During a search of thevehicle, marijuana was located.

First of all, I was a minor when the incident occurred!!! THEY CAN'T PRINT THIS BULLSHIT!!!!! I WAS NOT ARESSTED-I WAS GIVEN A SUMMONS TO APPEAR IN COURT, JUST LIKE IF YOU GOT A SPEEDING TICKET!!! AND I HAVE NEVER EVER GIVEN, DISTRIBUTED, OR SOLD MARIJUANA!!!!! yes i have smoked and i did consider myself to be a pothead, but i quit and i will try my damndest to stay sober off of pot!!!!!!! but still WHO THE FUCK NARCED ON ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! GODDAMMIT I AM SO FUCKING PISSED OFF!!!!!!!!! well since all this was in the paper i figured it was best to go ahead and tell my grandparents (i was so scared). i mean yea they were pissed but they were more upset b/c i didn't tell them when it happened!! so i guess we are ok. my mom on the other hand is a fucking bitch b/c she didnt even talk to a damn attorney until today!!!! god i hate her so much!!!! and then she was all like well we dont need to sue the paper b/c it will just cause more attention to yourself...i dont give a rat's ass!!!! that is slander and its illegal!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!

ok now about yesterday, my birthday!!!!! woot woot i went to the store and got cigarettes and a lotto ticket (didnt win nothing) then i got another pack after school then i got my ear peirced!!!! the top of my cartilage on my left ear!!!! it is so pimp!!! a 14 gauge ring with a ball!!!! oh its cool....it hurt for like a minute when the dude did it but then i really didnt feel much and now it hurts when i touch it so whatever......its cool!!!! well im gonna go now holla!!!!!!
 
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TODAY I AM 18!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
12:30am 12/05/2004
  i just turned 18 and went to woodall's to get a pack of ciggarettes and i lottery ticket!!!!!!!! i am so excited and happy!!!!!!!!!!

Current Mood: exhuberent!!!! :)

Current Music: Roses-outkast "I know you like to think your shit don't stank but lean a little bit closer see that roses really smell like boo boo boo..." (it was on the radio) :)
 
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awwww   
10:40pm 10/05/2004
 
mood: happy
music: boys of summer-the ataris
ok so i gave sunil his present....i had it behind my back and he was like hey and im like hi and i pulled it out and said happy birthday and hes all like oh my god i didnt expect this oh my god and i was like well damn you havent even unwrapped it yet!! so he opened the box and saw the shirt and was like oh man and i said its the right one isnt it and hes like yea this is it thnak you so much!! he was grinning from ear to ear...awwww i made him happy!!!!! then he said you didnt have to and i was like well i wanted to and mine is wednesday so... awww he was so happy i told him to wear it tomorrow so i can see it....goddamn i miss him so much cuz of fucking iss!! dammit why am i so dumb?! ugh anyways 6 days left!!! woot woot oh and it is 26 hours and 13 minutes until my bday!!!!! yay...i can buy ciggies anywhere i want to!!!!
 
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mothers day   
11:21pm 09/05/2004
 
mood: blah
music: the box fan on the floor
well this is for the whole weekend
friday i worked then went and got a 6 pack of smirnoff ice
i gave 2 to tay (for her bday) then smoked a blunt
then i went home
saturday i went to work all fucking day
they told me they were prolly going to fire me
i really dont care
saturday night i went to jos and then we went to get tay
jo thought tay was mad at her so she cut her arm really bad
and i had to help clean the mess up
fun fun fun
then i went and smoked a bowl
today i went to church (i know its amazing what holidays do to you)
then i went and ate at my aunts house
me my aunt and my mom had a conversion
they were like you have to talk to somebody
we know something has been wrong with you
and you need to tell someone
so i said fine you wanna know whats bothering me
the guy i had a huge head over heels crush for played me and doesnt like me
but doesnt even have the decency to tell me himself
and then i said yes i am gay (my mom already knew)
and i was crying like a fucking baby
so today kinda sucked
then jo called
and said that her mom saw her arm when she got out of the shower
so her parents had a talk with her
and she cried
shitty crying discussions w/ the family-how fun!!!
then i went to jos and cried with her
then i went home and took a bath
and thought of this
* the water turns red as i slowly sink lower and lower into the murky water that surrounds my pale and limp body...
nice huh
then i went and smoked 2 bowls
and then came home and an old friend came over and we hung out
and now here i am bored as hell about to go outside to smoke a cigarette
fun fun fun
oh sunils bday was sat and i bought him a pretty sherbert orange dress shirt
im so sweet i hope he likes it!!!
 
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sir vays r fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
02:17am 09/05/2004
 
mood: artistic
music: cant hold us down-christina aguilera
What is your favorite...

gum: winterfresh

restaurant: philly conn., el maya, rice bowl, wendys

drink: sweet tea and water

season: late spring early summer

type of weather: partly cloudy

emotion: depression b/c thas how i feel

late-night activity: get high and get on the net

sport: idk

city: atlanta

store: ae, gap, hot topic, urban outfitters, etc.

When was the last time you..

cried: friday...when jo's fat kitty died... :(

played a sport: uh...does working out count cuz ive done that but i did play baseball when i was 12

laughed: i dont know but i know i have

hugged someone: um..a little while ago jo hugged me

kissed someone: with or without tongue?

felt depressed: earlier today

felt elated: today when i got off work

felt overworked: when all my photography shit is due at the end of the term and im not done

faked sick: the day me and jo left school early and smoked

lied: um..everyday i tell little white lies

What was the last..

word you said: leaking b/c i was drinking some water and i think the cup was leaking

thing you ate:some microwave stir fry that sucked

song you listened to: boucing off the walls-sugarcult

thing you drank: water

place you went to: home

movie you saw: lord of the rings part 3?

movie you rented: i dont know

concert you attended: the sevendust concert at chehaw

Who was the last person you..

hugged: jo

cried over: abba the kitty died :(

kissed: my brother on the cheek

danced with: prolly jo

shared a secret with: jo

had a sleepover with: um...i have no idea

called: tiffany

went to a movie with: jo and jake

saw: mema

were angry with: myself for getting in trouble

couldn't take your eyes off of: sunil

obsessed over: sunil

Have you ever..

danced in the rain: well me and jo did run in the rain singing its raining men

kissed someone: uh..yea

done drugs: there is no need for questions like this

drank alcohol: see above

slept around: not really...ive only had sex with 5 guys

partied 'til the sun came up: new years...well 3 am but thats close enuff

had a movie marathon: um..i dont know

gone too far on a dare: dont think so

spun until you were immensely dizzy: yea...quite often

taken a survey quite like this before: uh huh
 
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