| Goodbye |
[07 Mar 2005|06:45pm] |
|
Yeah I've abandoned this journal (duh). I haven't posted anything here in ages. I'm sticking with my livejournal. You know where to find me if you care.
|
|
solitude | aggression
|
|
|
[18 Oct 2004|05:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 indifferent |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Misnomer - Press Here to Release |
] |
I try to think of something to write in here. But I really have nothing to say. Nothing worth saying.
|
|
| I haven't left the house in 3 days |
[30 Sep 2004|04:07am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 apathetic |
] |
I'm gonna stay inside
I'm gonna stay inside for good
I'm gonna stay inside
For good, for good
I wanna stay inside
I wanna stay inside for good
I wanna stay inside
Don't want to stay inside for good
|
|
solitude | aggression
|
|
| Saturday the 28th |
[27 Aug 2004|02:30am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
EDGEY - Dead In '73 (WRECKSTEP) |
] |
I'm going to meet opie and anthony. This is the first I've really been excited about something in a long time.
|
|
solitude | aggression
|
|
| Saturday the 28th |
[27 Aug 2004|02:30am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
EDGEY - Dead In '73 (WRECKSTEP) |
] |
I'm going to meet opie and anthony. This is the first I've really been excited about something in a long time.
|
|
solitude | aggression
|
|
| Saturday the 28th |
[27 Aug 2004|02:30am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
EDGEY - Dead In '73 (WRECKSTEP) |
] |
I'm going to meet opie and anthony. This is the first I've really been excited about something in a long time.
|
|
solitude | aggression
|
|
| Bye bye |
[13 Aug 2004|02:59am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 depressed |
] |
I probably will be evicted soon, I don't where I'll go. And I don't care. I want to be nowhere. I don't want to be.
|
|
solitude 1 nothing(s) | aggression
|
|
| Die....everybody |
[22 Jul 2004|04:16am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pissed off |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Tool - Ænima |
] |
Have you ever seen something that depressed you but at the same made you so angry you didn't know what to do with yourself?
I just did...
People are nothing but piles of shit and we should all die.
Some say the end is near
Some say we'll see armageddon soon
Certainly hope we will
|
|
solitude | aggression
|
|
| Broke ass mofo |
[09 Jul 2004|05:16am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 listless |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
From Zero - Erase |
] |
My ISP subscription is due and I have no money to pay it so I won't be online again for a long time. I suck.
|
|
solitude 1 nothing(s) | aggression
|
|
| My life of nothing |
[24 Jun 2004|05:33am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
pessimistic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Mudvayne - -1 |
] |
Losses, losers and more, gain of life's pleasures cohorts listen
behind the doors to a life meaningless less than 0 in me all my walls
falling down pains aloft misery
I'm sure that the lessons were learned I'm sure that the punishments
went well deserved by the pawn in the plan taste of shit bitterness
walk from me everything systematically
Come on youweretheone youweretheone,
To dredge up shit inside of me in my pointless life of nothing
Tell me what I'm supposed to be
Tell me who I'm supposed to be
Tell me what it takes to ascend
Tell me what it takes to live
Patience, pleasures and rewards, come in due time stare at the sun
I'm bored in a life meaningless soaking up all of me like the cross
you worship life is loss look at me I'm sure that some day we'll wake
up I'm sure that some day we'll wake from the dream
Of success and focus...tunneling to the light glowing deep inside of
me your taunting I wake up
Come on youweretheone youweretheone,
To dredge up shit inside of me in my pointless life of nothing
Tell me what I'm supposed to be
Tell me who I'm supposed to be
Tell me what it takes to ascend
Tell me what it takes to live
Tell me nOW!
Tell me nOW!
Pain misery distress dismal know where depressed idiot failure
In me......calling......loser......man I'm the
Loser......loser.....loser......in me......who I am....in me....
Don't feel sorry don't feel sorry for me
Don't need your sympathy or empathy, don't need your sympathy inside
of me,
Don't need your sympathy or empathy, don't need your sympathy inside
of me,
Don't feel sorry don't feel sorry for me
|
|
solitude | aggression
|
|
| Interesting exchange |
[13 Jun 2004|11:54am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
EDGEY - Dead In '73 (WRECKSTEP) |
] |
karen: aw.. cant i come over sometime... and stab your arm with a fork? lol
me: rofl!
karen: what if you wake up and ive already stabbed ur arm. and theres just a fork chillin in your arm
karen: lol
karen: ud kno it was me
(screenames changed to protect us)
Don't ask...don't ask
|
|
solitude | aggression
|
|
| I'm FUBAR |
[11 Jun 2004|07:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
indifferent |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Aphex Twin - mt saint nichel + saint michaels mount |
] |
"Life's so shitty but ain't it fuckin great?"
|
|
solitude | aggression
|
|
| It seems almost certain |
[31 May 2004|11:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Panacea and Cativo - Live on Radio FM4 |
] |
There is no one out there that is like me, or that understands me. No one who knows what I enjoy, or more importantly, even cares. I'm too "boring" for the rest of the planet in my current state. Nothing caused me to right this, nothing in particular. Just a quiet revelation I've had while sitting here as I so often do. I think my fears will be realized if someone doesn't fix whatever broke in me. I need to change what I have become, but I don't think I can. If there is one word to describe my future it is this: Despair.
|
|
solitude | aggression
|
|
| Couldn't leave it alone... |
[17 May 2004|11:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Mooncar - Security |
] |
I didn't want to know
I just didn't want to know
Best to keep things in the shallow end
Cause I never quite learned how to swim
I just didn't want to know
Didn't want, didn't want,
Didn't want, didn't want
Close my eyes just to look at you
Taken by the seamless vision
I close my eyes,
Ignore the smoke,
Ignore the smoke
Call it aftermath, she's turning blue
Such a lovely color for you
Call it aftermath, she's turning blue
While I just sit and stare at you
Because I don't want to know
I didn't want to know
I just didn't want to know
I just didn't want
Mistook their nods for an approval
Just ignore the smoke and smile
Call it aftermath, she's turning blue
Such a lovely color for you
Call it aftermath, she's turning blue
Such a perfect color for your eyes
Call it aftermath, she's turning blue
Such a lovely color for you
Call it aftermath, she's turning blue
While I just sit and stare at you
I don't want to know
But for some reason I had to look. I told myself that I don't care anymore, but the way I feel now I don't think I'll ever stop caring. And that means I'll never stop hurting. I've shut myself down to keep out the pain. I want shut everything down. I feel damaged beyond repair, I feel as if I'll die like this. Completely numb, but completely full of suppressed pain.
|
|
solitude 1 nothing(s) | aggression
|
|
| It's hopeless |
[12 May 2004|05:41am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Filter - God Damn Me |
] |
Don't mind me, I'm just in a self-hating mood I guess.
There isn't enough hot water to be in
There isn't enough salt lake to to lie in
There isn't enough sky to fly in
So softly
There isn't enough breath to breathe
Not for me
Oh God damn me
Oh God damn me
There isn't enough snow to see through
Snows too deep
There isn't enough fog to see through
Not through to me
There isn't enough gain to get from
Not from me
Oh God damn me
Oh God damn me
Nothing changes
Nothing we erase
Nothing to change
Nothing but me
Oh God damn me
Oh God damn me
|
|
solitude 1 nothing(s) | aggression
|
|
| Depressing eh? |
[05 May 2004|04:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cynical |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
30 seconds to Mars - The Mission |
] |
1. Go into your archives.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
"I try not to think I'll be at my current one for the rest of my life but its difficult not to sometimes. I don't have much else to add."
|
|
solitude | aggression
|
|
| I tested positive...and that's negative |
[28 Apr 2004|06:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 groggy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Dj Demonshaker - Trinity's Theme |
] |
 | SimilarMinds.com Compatibility Test |
Your match with Chris
you are 71% similar
you are 71% complementary
| How Compatible are You and Your Friends?
|
|
solitude | aggression
|
|
| If only... |
[20 Apr 2004|12:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 frustrated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Venetian Snares - Dollmaker |
] |
I need to find more people that live near me with similiar musical interests. All of my friends don't like or get the music I do. Its really annoying sometimes. I can't listen to panacea or venetian snares or even squarepusher with any of my friends. Would be so much easier if I got out more and didn't hate people in general. I like people as I might them, most of the time. I just hate the human race as a whole. Can you blame me? If you answered no to that then you're probably one of the many that I hate.
|
|
solitude | aggression
|
|
| Walk away |
[19 Apr 2004|08:36am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 discontent |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
EDGEY - Somber Grey |
] |
So I think I might just run
Into the desert sun
so I think I'm finally done
I'm sick of everyone
And I need to find a place
Where I can breathe once again
Where I'll remember yesterday
And not walk away
I feel completely numb
I don't know what I've become
But I've learned to wear it well
And nothing makes it through this shell
And I need to find a place
Where I can breathe once again
Where I'll remember yesterday
And not walk away
Not walk away from everything
And I need to find a place
Where I can breathe once again
Where I'll remember yesterday
And not walk away
|
|
solitude | aggression
|
|