[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
*~*Me*~*'s Blurty:
| Wednesday, November 15th, 2006 | |
| 4:50 pm | It really has been a long time... So it's been over a year since I've written anything on here. Not too much to say. Going to Western Michigan University with a Major in Computer Science, and a Minor Japanese. Life is going pretty good. My grandfather ended up passing away on May 4th of last year. I suppose it's better that way though, since he's not in pain any more. I have no clue if I'll ever write on here any more. Probably not. Bye. Current Mood:  sickCurrent Music: You'll Be In My Heart ~ Phil Collins |
| Tuesday, April 19th, 2005 | |
| 11:07 pm | been a while So yea..it's been a while. Didn't have a client on here til like not even 5 mins ago. Plus I haven't had time to update. To many things goin on with my gramps. He's got level 4 Non-smokers lung cancer (for the idiots out there, that means that its lung cancer not related to smoking, and its spreading). He's down in florida going to the Cleveland Clinic for his doc's appointments and radiation therapy. My mom's been goin down there every week for atleast 3 days at a time, if not more. She's going back down 2morrow, and we have no clue when she's coming back. I was sposded to go down there Friday, but i wouldn't be able to get back on sunday, so I'm no longer going down. My life is just a lil stressed, but it's not as bad as it could be i guess. We don't kno whats going to happen, just go with the flow i guess. I've nothing more...check out my Live Journal, my name's x_Shdws_Btfly_x....so go check it out! Current Mood:  discontentCurrent Music: There Goes My Life~Kenny Chesney |
| Sunday, January 30th, 2005 | |
| 11:03 pm | I gots a Jeep! I got the Jeep! WEEEEEEEEEEEE!! I got it on Thurs, but we had to get the insurance and license plate for it. So I couldn't legally drive it till Friday. It's a stick, but I'm getting better at driving it. 2morrow I'm gonna have to go to the office and register it so I can park it in the student parking lot. Hopefully it wont cost anything..but I dunno. We'll see. I went and got a radio put in it yesterday, since the old one didn't work, cuz the previous owner left the top down 1 day when it rained and it got ruined. So i went and spent $146 on a new radio. I am now broke. I need to find a job soon 2. But one thing at a time right? right. Well just thought I'd put in here that bit of info. Ja ne! Current Mood:  chipperCurrent Music: Whatever happenes to be on 89X |
| Monday, January 24th, 2005 | |
| 10:57 pm | Silly boys...Jeeps are for girls... Have you ever had that gut feeling where you think that something bad is going to happen, and you get all worried about it cuz you don't kno what it is. Well thats how I feel right now. I don't even have a reason to feel like that tho..It feels like I'm super nervous about something..I dunno, it's hard to explain, but its really annoying. I had the same feeling a couple weeks ago, but nothing happened, so I'm going to guess that nothing will happen again this time, but you never kno. It just bothers me. So ne who. Its Monday...what can I say, its always boring and I always just want to get the day over with. It seems like the day went a little faster 2day tho for some reason, maybe its cuz last week seemed to drag by. I dunno. But I'm still super tired. I shouuldn't be, since I've gotten a ton of sleep over the weeked. I think its just cuz it's monday... My mom is supposed to go to the credit union tomorrow to see if she can get a loan. Hopefully she'll be able to. It would suck if she couludn't, since I really really need a car. My grampa still disapproves of me getting a car. But he doesn't kno that I'm trying to get the Jeep, and he's not going to find out until after I have gotten it, becuz by then, it'll be to late to take it back >D. I'm evil. But I honestly don't care if he's going to get pissed off at me. Its his problem if he doesn't want me to have a "foriegn made" car...let alone a car really. He doesn't like it, then tough. I hate the fact that he insist in living in the past. He thinks that you can still walk every where. Like one time I talkin to him about the whole car thing and how I needed one, and he said "you don't need a car, you can walk" and he also said "I'll get you a car after college...I got your mother a car when she was in high school and all she did was horse around, and that's all you'll do..." I'm over there like thanks a lot for trusting me. I mean come on, I'm not my mom (thank god (no offense or anything)), and he should base it on me, and whether I horse around and stuff, not what my mom did in the past. Sheesh. He thinks its still back in the '30's where you could walk everywhere. It just bothers me...a lot! Well on a more happy note.... I told meg that I wasn't going to tell her when I got the Jeep, and that I wanted to see how long it took before she found out. And she was just like, "yea right...you'll be so excited that you'd be over at my house 2 seconds after you got it, and that then you'd want me to show you how to drive it and stuff" (since she has a jeep already...lucky.....) I was just like, yea sure...whatever...we'll see what happenes. Knowing me I would only be able to stand it for a few hours at most, then I'd try to get ahold of her and be all ecstatic and stuff....but hopefully I'll be able to hold out a little longer (laughs...yea right!) Well I'm tired and its almost 11....so I'm of to see the dream faeries, the wonderful dream faeries of dreamland.... Current Mood:  weirdCurrent Music: Party for 2 ~ Shania Twain |
| Sunday, January 23rd, 2005 | |
| 11:07 pm | What a LOOOONNNGGGG week.... It seems like it took at least a couple months for this week to pass. I don't kno why, but it does. Well last Sunday, a week ago today, my friend Dom told me about a Jeep that her cousin was selling. Well first it was me, meg and dom sitting at the table for our G.S. meeting, and I was talking to meg about how awsome it would be if i could eventually get a Wrangler. And then out of the blue Dom tells me about the Jeep and I'm like how much is it, what year is it, and all this other stuff, and she just stares at me and is like I dunno. And she was like its behind my house in the alley, we can go look at it after G.S. if you want, its dark but you can atleast see it and stuff. So I said I'd drop her off so that we could look at it. I saw the front and saw that it had to be at least a '95 if not older, since it had rectangle headlights, and all the years after 95 had round headlights. But I saw it and was like, well I wanna find out how much it was and stuff. So Dom was like well y dont you come in and talk to my uncle about it. So I did..It turns out that its a '93, they had it for 2 years and doms cousin wants a convertable so that she doesn't have to fight with putting the top up and down. He said that she wanted to sell it for about $3,000 but would take $2,800. which is SUPER cheap for a 12 year old Jeep. Well I went back and looked at the body to see if it was majorly rusted or anything, the next day, and it only has one small rust spot about 2 inches wide at most and that was it. So I went home and told my mom about it. And then when my dad got home I took him over and showed it to him. He said that the body looked to be pretty good for its age, the paint is wearing thin but we can just get a paint job done on it. The next day (Tues.) I took my mom over to look at it after school really quick, and point out the stuff that was wrong, but nothing that couldn't be fixed. She said that it did look pretty good. She said she wanted to have a machanic look at it, so i said that my friend steve (who is a machanic at the Jeep Dealership) might be able to look at it. So i talked to meg and asked if she could ask steven for a small favor of looking at it, and she did and he said that he would. So we decided to do it on Friday at 5:30. So he went and looked at it...He found a bunch of stuff that was wrong, nothing that couldn't be fixed, but it needed work and soon. We're talkin like within the next 6 months for this stuff. All the things that are wrong with it are as listed: ~Front breaks need to be replaced and soon. ~The front axle is weak and needs to be replaced within the next 4-6 months ~Has an oil leak that needs to be takin care of as soon as possible so it doesn't get worse. ~Needs new battery ~Needs new battery cables ~Needs a new rear exhaust pipe ~Needs a new starter ~Needs a paint job/body work ~Needs new tires So there you go, at least 9 things wrong with it. Steven said he wouldnt give more then $2,500 for it. Cuz we would have to pay for all these repairs that added to the 2,500 would add up to be way more then the original 3,000. My mom said that she was goin over to the credit union either tomorrow or tuesday to see if she could take out a loan for it, and that she was going to take out more so that she could pay for the repairs. The joys of having your first car.....Ha! Oh well, its a car that'll get me around, right? Right. Well its gettin late and I'm dead tired, and I also have school 2morrow....Joy....Nite Current Mood:  sleepyCurrent Music: Man! I feel like a Woman! ~ Shania Twain |
| Sunday, January 2nd, 2005 | |
| 1:16 am | Happy New Year! Wow...it's 2005 already! I can't believe it. Only 1.5 years left till i grad! WootWoot! I kno I haven't updated in a LOOONNNGGG time...or so it seems. I went to Colorado last Monday, came back Wed. I kno, wasn't there for very long, but it was pretty fun while I was out there. I haven't been out there in so long, I was glad to go back. I spent the past 2 nites over at Megs house. Y? I don't kno, cuz I can I guess. It was pretty fun, we tried to get her report done on Thurs. Didn't happen, but she got a lot of it done 2day, which was a good thing, and the rough draft is due on Monday..AHAHA! She just really writing it 2day and got 2.5 pages done pretty fast. We stayed up till like 3 last night playin my PS2. That was fun. She couldn't really figure out how you worked the controller tho, lol! The only nintendo game she has is N64! Ancient! lol! But the games are cheap now and they can be pretty fun...if ya kno how to work the controller..unlike me..We went to JeepersCreepers on Thurs. She ordered a Hood Kit for her Jeep. All chrome! its gonna be sweet once she's finished with it. It'll take a while, but it'll be awsome! :-D. She got me hooked on Jeeps now. Originally I just wanted a Jeep Grand Cherokee, but now I also want a Wrangler so that if I need more room, I can take the Cherokee, but if I want to go offroading with her in my own car I can take the Wrangler. Meg and I decided that she's gonna design all the top cars and I'm going to design the computers to go in them and were going to be rich and have more cars then Jay Leno! ahahah! That'd be sweet, but were not that rich...Yet. All this happened cuz I made the commen that I was going to be the next Bill Gates: Female Version. LOL! Well its now 1:00 A.M. and I'm tired, and I'm goin to bed!! :-D Silly boys, Jeeps are for Girls. Jeep girls like it topless and dirty. A girl in her Jeep. It's a beautiful thing. Go Topless! It's a Jeep thing...You wouldn't understand. Current Mood: sleepyCurrent Music: Days Go By ~ Keith Urban |
| Thursday, December 9th, 2004 | |
| 10:19 pm | I'm sick of it! Yes...I am absolutely positively sick of life. I don't kno what I'm supposed to be getting out of it in the first place. I'm sick of my dad screaming his head off at me every 2 seconds, and I'm just sick of nothing going right. But then again, I don't want to be a coward and take the "easy way out." But I have been tempted recently. I'm just sick of listening to every1 blaming me for everthing that goes wrong. I really am. I can't seem to do anything right anymore. Actually, I don't think i ever could. Donette got mad at me this morning, so that didnt really help me a lot, then my mom got mad at me, then my dad got mad at me..but my dad doesn't usually bother me, but its just pushing me right now. I mean, its not that I want to die, I'm just sick of me being the person that every1 takes all their anger out on...cuz I can't always handle it. They go and scream at me to make them feel better, but all it does is make me feel worse. I'm just soooooooo tired of it! I mean its usually pointless to yell back at people, but I don't want them to just yell at me and then not do anything about it....God I don't kno what to do any more! I dont kno, Hopefully I'll make it through this.. Every1 says that you shouldn't say that you hate some1, becuz something will happen and then you'll regret saying that you hated them when you really didn't. Well I hate my dad. Its true. I really do, with a passion. If you don't about my dad, you will now. All he ever does is scream at me and blame everything that goes wrong on me. I'm not exaggerating either. He really does. One little thing happenes and he starts screaming his head off at me, just to scream at me. He doesnt even listen to me. I'll tell him about something that I'm going to do and he's like ok sure whatever, and then I'll be like you never told me that you were doing that, and then he starts screaming at me about it. One of my friends told me a while back to be glad that I at least had a father around and that she wouldn't mind that, and I told her, would you like my dad, who screams about eveything. I honestly would rather not have a dad, then the dad I have now. I really would. Cuz I can say i truely do hate him. I really do. He can die tomorrow and I wouldn't care. I sure as hell wouldn't cry over his death, more then likely I would leap for joy. I really would, thats how much I hate him. I really truely do. Megan even hates him, maybe not as much as me, but pretty close. I was kinda happy when se said that she and her mom didn't like him cuz all he does is scream at me. The reason why I want to get out of this stupid town is cuz of my father. ok enough of this depressing crap...... :D!!! I gots a new celly phone!!! :D yay!! Its a camera phone! :D makes me happy! WEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! ok...yes i can changes moods very easily sometimes. So I'm goin to guess that I'm bipolar..hehe...I'm going to bed...IM me on AIM If you wanna get my #! Current Mood:  exhaustedCurrent Music: Breaking The Habbit ~ Linkin Park |
| Monday, November 29th, 2004 | |
| 9:36 pm | Monday...yuck! I hate Mondays, what else can I say. Of course they always suck 100x more when they are after a holiday! I was so tired today and I was also freezing. I just wanted to come home and get under my warm covers and fall asleep. Which i dont know y I'm not doing that now. I guess cuz I'm a lameass and I'm writing in here. I'm excited for Wed. since that is the night of the 89X concert :D Meg and I are goin! I can't wait! I'll get to see 5 of my fav. bands :P But the only bad part is that its on a school night. Oh well. Atleast I'm going and that makes me happy! :D...Other then that stuff I guess life is ok. Nothing much really goin on with me. Sat. I spent the night at Megs house. We went to the mall at 9 pm. since they were still open and we wanted to go shopping, and then at 10 when the mall closed, we went over to Kohl's for a bit looking for stuff over there. Then we went back to her house and had some pizza and then she was fallin asleep so we went up to go to bed...she fell asleep while I was flipping through the channels on her TV in her room for hte next half hour...I guess I wasnt really that tired. But I kept waking up durring the night. I dunno y, but lately I've been waking up quite a bit when i was TRYING to sleep. I dont have a clue y either. I end up waking up in the mornings feeling ok for bout 1/2 hour then after that I feel completely drained and I just wanna go back to sleep...Hmmm..I dunno..But i dont like goin to sleep during the day cuz it makes me feel all weird and stuff...and I dont usually feel "refreshed" or anything like that...I dunno..maybe I should start taking those stay awake pills or whatever...Dunno, don't care...I'm goin to bed, since like I've been rambling on for the last 5 minutes...I'm dead tired... Current Mood: tiredCurrent Music: Feels Like Today ~ Rascal Flatts |
| Wednesday, November 24th, 2004 | |
| 11:00 pm | Yawn.... Yay! Thanksgiving Break! WOooo!! :D Me happy now! I get to sleep in 2morrow..Major plus! hehe. Life (like always) is boring as hell. I dont really have anything to do now that marching band is pretty much over. But thats ok. I like being able to sit at home, or go out shopping or whatever. It's a nice change from running around the world all the time. Besides, one person can only take so much. I've been thinking about death again. I dunno y, but I have been. I don't want to kill myself, but I've just kinda been wondering what everything would be like if I wasn't around anymore and stuff. I might be better for every1, that way they dont have to put up with me. I mean come on, I'm not a complete idiot that I dont kno when people dont really like talking with me or whatever. I mean I try to be nice to people and stuff, but they always end up looking down on me. I dont kno y and i dont really care, it just gets old. But still, sometimes I wonder. I mean, there's only a few people that would probly miss me, but other then that, every1 probly wouldnt really even care. Oh well. I dont really care..I just have to much time on my hands sometimes. I guess if I did end up dying, then I would want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken, and the one that could always brighten up your day even if she couldn't brighten her own. No matter how depressed sounding I am..I really hate to see people depressed, I always try to make them feel better. I might be having the worse day of my life, but you rarely ever find me without a smile on my face when I'm around people, cuz I hate when people dont smile. I guess I'm kind of like a kid at heart somes, but I sometimes act more mature than i should be acting for my age. I've also gotten pretty good at masking my feelings when i want to. A lot of the time i dont like people really kno what I'm feeling inside, so i just put on my "happy face" and just pretend away. Kinda funny, ne? oh well. I'm not trying to sound all depressed, I think its the rain..I always get in a bad mood when it rains. But really, I'm feeling kinda neutral right now, not happy, but not sad. Hm...dunno...I think i need to go to bed, since i'm like dead tired. So i think i'm gonna take my advice and go to sleep... Current Mood:  blankCurrent Music: Roses ~ Outkast |
| Sunday, November 21st, 2004 | |
| 3:03 pm | Slacker... I'm a slacker, I kno...But oh well..i don't care..I got the Gravitation Anime!!!:D me happy! ahaha...I got the first vol. and the 3rd vol. since I have to order the 2nd vol. cuz nobody has it...but my mom said that she's gonna order that one and the 4th vol. for me for x-mas! :D heheh! I can't wait! Only 35 more days! :P hehehe!! anywho. I ended up getting the flu on Wed. That was fun, had it for 2 days...and that was while i still had bronchitis. Joyful. Well. hopefully my bronchitis will clear up soon..since i'm still taking my meds...Well I dont really have much to talk bout really...So I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!!:D:P Current Mood:  hyperCurrent Music: "Rage Beat ~ Bad Luck" |
| Friday, November 12th, 2004 | |
| 10:57 pm | I have bronchitis!!! (The last journal entry didnt post when i wrote it, which was on Monday...so I just post it....) So I went to the doc's 2day after school, and he walks in and he heard me coughin and asked me a couple questions and was like..you have bronchitis...Joyful..So that would explain why the Day-Qyil and Ny-Quil haven't been working. So yea...he had me put on a oxygen mask thing with liquid in it and when you turned the machine on that it was connected to, the liquid turned to a mist, so i had to breath that for 20 minutes..and after 15 of doing that..i got really dizzy and "woozy" as the doc says. And it made me get all shaky and stuff...I felt like i was a smoker who was having a really bad craving for nicotien or something. I was like AHHH! i cant stop shaking!! and then i took my pills at dinner which was like 2 hour later, and i got even more shaky then before...it was fun trying to drink while my hand was shaking like crazy. And on top of that, my meds make me super hyper, thats what the doc said and he was right, and he said i'm not allowed to have any pop unless its caffien free...which that just sucks...but its cuz i'll get even more hyper and "its not good for me." But at least I'm allowed to have tea..that makes me happy! :D *SMILES!!!* Well i'm tired..its late..and i have bowling tomorrow...So i'm off Current Mood: hyperCurrent Music: When the Sun Goes Down ~ Kenny Chesney |
| 10:50 pm | sick...again I kno, I haven't updated this thing in a long time..But then again, I haven't been home that much lately. This past weekend I was at Choir Conference...Which was a ton of fun by the way! :D!! I didn't wanna come home on Sunday, but I did. Unfortunatly I got sick over a weekago, and it still isn't gone yet. Its gotten worse really..I've been taking Day-Quil and Ny-Quil, but its not helping :S....I need to get into the doc's office. Well enough about that. I had a lot of fun at choir conference! You wouldn't believe how much fun. I got to hang out with Ted, Lauren, Nick and every1 else thats in the choir. Its so much more fun then band camp, and I can't wait to go back next year! To bad its only once a year. They have some of the best food up there, and believe me, you don't starve. But the food isn't as good as Megan's mom's cookin! MMmmm...I'm gettin hungry just thinkin bout it..but then again it is dinner time..hehe...Well I dont have anything else to say...So I guess I'm off!! Current Mood: sick |
| Thursday, October 21st, 2004 | |
| 9:33 pm | .......Halloween........ahhhh......ehehehe........ok i'll shut up now.... Lifes been ok...i suppose. I don't really even kno. I got new hearing aids on Monday, so I can kinda hear better now. They're the kind you "can't see"...I also dyed my hair black with red streaks in it last Thursday....It doesn't really look good just black, so I put red in it also. My mom said that she only let me dye my hair for Halloween and I was just like...yea sure...Sat. is our last marching performance for MB! Its sooo sad..I'm not gonna have anything to do now lol, since that took up all my time. I haven't really been gettin into arguments with my father, I think thats becuz I'm never home to get into fights with him, and when we do start to go at each others throats I just tell him to shut the hell up and he usually does...not always, but sometimes. I guess everything with school is ok, cept that i'm not gettin a good grade in math..I'm gettin a "C", and I suppose to some people that good, but all my other grades are A's and B's and I dont really like having that C on there, but i guess that means that i should turn in my work in that case.....oppsie...ehehe.......runs away and hides.....dont hurt me!! its not my fault, its all ryans fault, blame him!!! Well I've got nothing else, so I'm out.... Current Mood: tiredCurrent Music: Good Charlotte~Predictable |
| Sunday, October 10th, 2004 | |
| 3:14 pm | Band Sweetheart Last night was the Band Sweetheart dance....and it sucked. The whole day sucked. I was late for every damn thing. I almost had like 500 breakdowns becuz of it, nothing went right. The dance sucked 2. Last year it was so much better. I dont even kno if i want to go to band sweet heart next year. I might, i dont kno. I really dont care right now either. I just wish life wasn't being such a bitch right now. Nothing seems to be going right. Life just sucks. Current Mood:  pissed offCurrent Music: Chronicals of Life and Death ~ Good Charlotte |
| Friday, October 8th, 2004 | |
| 6:28 am | Band Sweetheart Football Game Tonite is the B/S Football game, and then 2morrow is the dance. This past week was Sweetweek, which was pretty cool. The days were as follows... Monday: PJ day Tues.: Girl hush day Wed.: Guy hush day Thurs.: Be another band memeber day Friday: Secton/Senior Appriciation day I'm so excited for the dance, specially since my best friend and her b/f eric are coming along with my other best friend. I have Zero hour 2day, so thats y I'm up so damn early writin this..., and it sucks that i have to be up so damn early. Oh well, thats what you get for being in MB. Well i g2g. Bye Current Mood: tiredCurrent Music: none.....goin to MB |
| Saturday, September 25th, 2004 | |
| 11:19 pm | Competition.... Today was the Trenton Invitational Competition. It was actually kinda fun. We were the first band 2 perform tho, which kinda sucked. We made it through tho. I was hangin out with Kevin, Dianna, and Amber while we were watching the other bands, well, kinda watching, that was when we weren't poking each other or tickling each other and stuff. It was so funny 2day cuz like 5 or more people asked if me and Kevin were goin out. Wer like...no....I think it was cuz we were always holdin hands and stuff, and while we were watchin some of the bands i was laying on him...What can i say, he makes a good backrest.....lol.....So yea. I dont kno bout the whole thing tho really. I'm goin to Band Sweetheart with him, but i'm meetin him there since I have to pick up my 2 friends. It'll be interesting. Anywho...On the day of the Band Sweetheart dance I'm gonna have soooo much going on. Cuz at about 9am, i'm goin out to WSU to do an African, Drum and Dance presentation at the Annual Convention thing that's goin on. and then i'll get back around 1:30-2:00pm, and then i have to go get my nails done (If i dont do it on Friday.) and then I have to get my hair done. Then I have to run home, get my dress and makeup and stuff and go over to dawns house and do her hair and make up and stuff. Then I'm changin over there and goin to get Megan and then I'm meetin up with Kevin at the dance. So it'll be interestin. We'll I'm gonna go make some hot tea, and then wait for meg to call after she gets home. I feel sooooo terrible right now. I kno i'm gettin sick. Great....just what i need, i'm hoping i'll feel better 2morrow, but i dunno... Current Mood:  confusedCurrent Music: Don't Stay ~ Linkin Park |
| Wednesday, September 22nd, 2004 | |
| 11:04 pm | ick... I haven't been feelin to well lately. For some reason or another, I'm not getttin enough sleep. I go to bed around 11:00-11:30 and wake up at 7:00am, but for some reason, I'm still really tired. and like 2day, I went to bed about 11:00 last night, and woke up at 7am, but i was still dead tired, and then i took a nap from about 4-8pm, and i was fine for a lil bit, but now I'm dead tired again. I dont kno whats getting to me. I think its cuz i'm getting sick, since my voice is constantly cracking like i'm going to loose it and my throat is sore...AHHH! now I'm starting to sound like a little whinny baby, but i'm not trying to, HONEST! Well anywho, on to better things. I'm getting hearing aides!! yay! I'll be able to hear again. But this time I'm gettin the "In the ear" kind, in other the words, the kind that you cant see, and i'm actually getting the ones that you cant see...AT ALL! Mainly cuz thats the best type of in the ear for my hearing loss. I hate being hard of hearing, it gets really annoying sometimes. Oh well, its not my fault, but i gotta live with it. I've got marching band tomorrow....joy.... I'm not really looking forward to it, I think its cuz i'm always felling tired, but I gotta go. I dunno y but it seems like marching band hasnt been as much fun this year as it has the past 2 years. Oh well, maybe it'll get better as the season goes on. I'm hoping! Well i'm goin to bed now since I'm dead tired and i gots school 2morrow. Current Mood: sickCurrent Music: Sleepless Beauty ~ K. Ito + D.K. |
| Tuesday, September 14th, 2004 | |
| 11:19 pm | another crazy tuesday Why does there have to be a thing such as unrequited love? It can hurt so much, to the point of where you want to commit suicide. Not that I want to, but still, its really painful to go on living with loving some1 and knowing that they will more then likely never have those feelings for you in return. It really does suck. If you didnt guess, I think that i might like some1, but I dont really kno. I dont think that I like him that much, and that its just as friends, but i dunno. I mean, it would be nice if it was something, but then again, i dont want to have to go through the heartbreak. I think thats y i never had a bf. Cuz i didnt want to have to go through the heartbreak of having to loose them in the end. Oh well, maybe someday I'll be able to open myself up enough to love some1 like that....ya never kno. Well, i'm gonna go to bed now. Ja ne! This is one of my favorite songs, I dont kno y, but I like it. Bohemian Rhapsody: Is this the real life Is this just fantasy Caught in a landslide No escape from reality Open your eyes Look up to the skies and see I'm just a poor boy I need no sympathy 'cause I'm easy come, easy go Little high, little low Any way the wind blows Doesn't really matter to me To me Mama, just killed a man Put a gun against his head Pulled my trigger, now he's dead Mama, life had just begun But now I've gone and thrown it all away Mama, ooh Didn't mean to make you cry If I'm not back again this time tomorrow Carry on, carry on As if nothing really matters Too late, my time has come Sends shivers down my spine Body's aching all the time Goodbye, everybody I've got to go Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth Mama, ooh I don't want to die I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all I see a little silhouetto of a man Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very fright'ning me (Galileo) Galileo (Galileo) Galileo, Galileo figaro Magnifico I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me He's just a poor boy from a poor family Spare him his life from this monstrosity Easy come, easy go, will you let me go Bismillah! No, we will not let you go (Let him go) Bismillah! We will not let you go (Let him go) Bismillah! We will not let you go (Let me go) Will not let you go (Let me go) Will not let you go (Let me go) Ah No, no, no, no, no, no, no (Oh mama mia, mama mia) Mama mia, let me go Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye So you think you can love me and leave me to die Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here Nothing really matters, anyone can see Nothing really matters Nothing really matters to me Any way the wind blows We sang that as our Junior song at bandcamp this year. So now it brings back memories! Current Mood:  lonelyCurrent Music: Perfect ~ Simple Plan |
| Monday, September 6th, 2004 | |
| 3:47 pm |
You're the best friend that someone could desire. |
| Friday, September 3rd, 2004 | |
| 12:19 am | hmmmm.... Why does it seem like I'm having thoughts of death lately? I'm not saying I wanna kill myself or anything, I'm just saying that I'm having lots of thoughts on death and what would happend after I die and stuff. Like would any1 miss me or anything like that. I dunno. I think I just have to much time on my hands. Anywho. I'm goin up to Great Lakes Crossing tomorrow to go dress shoppin and stuff. That'll be fun, since i'm goin with meg, and pretty much every place you go with her is fun. I'm hoping I'll find a dress while I'm there, but ya never kno. Plus, if I find 1 up there, I'm gonna have to go back up with my mom cuz she's not goin up there with me. Boy, takes a lil over an hour to get there, make that 4 hours there and bak. So much fun...NOT! I went to the school 2day to see about getting my schedual changed. Well i got a pass from Mr. Hicky, but now i have to go back in on Tues. morning at 8:00am just to see the counsler about getting it changed, since they office closed before they could get to me and the school isn't open 2morrow or monday. Goodie, this is gonna be fun...not! And on Wed. I'm gonna miss half of school cuz I've gotta go to get a hearing test so i can see bout getting new hearing aids, i need 'em bad and i'm gonna hopefully be able to get the kind that go in the ear rather then behind the ear, since now i wear glasses and its painfull to wear the hearing aids that go behind the ear. anywho, this is all probly boring you to death. I kno. I'm pretty much rambling on right now. It's late and I'm tired. I'm gonna go and work on a song I've been trying to put together. I dont even kno if its gonna work out. We'll see sometime in the future if it does or not. Well I'm gonna go to bed now. Ja. Current Mood: soreCurrent Music: Numb ~ Linkin Park! wootwoot! |
stressed