| Weird! |
[01 Feb 2003|05:30pm] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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music |
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Guns & Roses - Knockin on heavens door |
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this is so weird mom is cooking something and it smells really good but im too lazy to go downstairs and check...wow it smells so good *drools* damnit...I have nothing this weekend its saturday and im so bored i was supposed to go to the mall today with Tina but noooo my lil bitch mom didn't let me cuz i called her a fucking retard sorry for the language. I fell bad for taking that aterol because steph was pissed at me in Global for singeling her out i feel really bad i didn't know she felt that way >___< im a mean mean person i can't believe that i did that i feel like such a bitch right now.
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| fuck this! |
[01 Feb 2003|12:46pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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music |
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atom and his package - punk rock academy |
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mom being a bitch...i was drinking milk and she walked in the kicthen and snatched it from my hand so i called her a fucking retard and she got pissed now i can't go to skate at the mall fuck this...this sucks =( shes like well if your gonna call me a retard then your not going anywhere i hate when moms do that. Now shes bitching to my stepdad and i hate this hes gonna tell her some shit that i should go either and i won't be able to go at all
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| its friday and im all alone =( |
[31 Jan 2003|07:37pm] |
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mood |
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 weird |
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music |
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Blink-182 -- Roller Coaster |
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hey...here i am again on a friday night with no one to hang out with but its ok i guess a being with the family won't hurt me *shifts eyes* yeah...nvm i gotta get out of this fucking house
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| Little Litas gone crazy |
[29 Jan 2003|04:40pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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music |
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Guns n Roses - Knocking on heaven's door |
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Im think im gonna have a fucking nervous break down...my aunt thinks im bull shitting about the A.D.D symptoms and she thinks that i just want people to feel sorry for me and all that i am is lazy and fucking retarted. I hate my fucking family and i hate this life the only people that seem to understand are some of my friends and maybe i dunno...just maybe my mom she says that if i take the medication i might be better and stuff so i'll just see how this whole thing goes from here and maybe i might actually ....maybe i might pay some attention in class. I think its all cuz of my aunt i think she made me this fucking way..she always told me i was fucking slow and retarted and shit so now im all like fucked up and stuff i dun get anywhere in life or if i commit suicide im blaming all this shit on her cuz shes such a fucking mean little bitch hope she gets what she deserves and shit I hope i fucking get better with the medication that they might give me and i hope my aunt feels like a dumbass for saying all of that shit to me. Is it really my fault that i might have like shit in my life that my life was on hold when i was 3 when my fucking asshole dad used to hit my mother right in front of my face or is it my fault that she divorced him and is it my problem that my aunt can't be "all" that she wants to be...is it my fault that i cannot be what i wanna or is it my fault that my grandpa died of cancer...well lets see i get blamed for most of the problems that my family encounters and i can't fucking stand it any longer and i can't stand this shit...this shit that my family puts on me. Sorry for all the bitching in just pissed constantly and stuff and i can't be happy for shit. Well anyways school was a little weird today i finally told the guindance counsler i needed to talk to him but he wasn't there so i was sent to the social worker but he was really nice he asked me a bunch of questions and stuff and he said he'll talk to my guidance counsler and he'll talk to my mom and stuff and see how he can fix the problem for me. Im so sick and tired of keeping it all in i've never told anyone this before but...i've had all these feelings since i was like what ? 10 or 11 i guess so itrs been like 5-6 years now so i finally thought i needed help and iwent and talked to that and he was really cool about it. Well continuing my day lunch was weird...Steph punched Dale in the nose by accident and it was sorta funny but i bet it hurt like a bitch lol ... yeah then afte that i went home at like 3:00pm and then i talked to mommy but she seemes like a bitch about it at first then she kinda understood me and told me i should get tested for it and stuff i think i have that and like attachment issues to things cuz when i like something or people talk about it alot i get kinda obssesed alot and then i won't go off it for like months and months on so yeah...Wow! that felt really weird letting all this shit out i feel so much...gotta go do hw
see ya my lil kiddies
HEHE!! RAT WITH SWORDS (u lil weird kid Carlos)
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| Meow? damn site almost done |
[28 Jan 2003|06:13pm] |
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Meow? almost done with this piece of shit lol. its looking all fucked up and stuff. Im tired as hell and the medication thingy wore off. I told my mommy i think i might have A.D.D and she told me i was bullshiting but im not...really do you believe me *gives innocent look* hehe lol no but im being serious i cannot concentarte in class and i just like space out all the time i think i might have it but mom thinks im bsing cuz i wanna get the medicine to get high off of but its not true lol ... im gonna go get tested for it this saturday and then...im nervous what if i fail the thingy big time and then they give me like a high ass dose of Ritalin *drools*
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| Confused little girl? |
[27 Jan 2003|05:00pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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music |
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Nirvana- Lake of fire |
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im so tired and i went over to Tina's we went to town and we froze our asses off it was so cold and then we went to her house so now im home...Im so weird pissed cuz someone called and my mom didn't know who it was and shes like someone called and im like who? shes like i dunno im like whats the point of telling me then. GRRR need to finish my site and stuffs
laterz
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| half a day |
[27 Jan 2003|12:17pm] |
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mood |
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anxious |
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music |
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insane clown posse - lets go all the way |
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You know what the worst feeling in the world is ? When you know he meant everything to you and you meant nothing to him. I feel so tired today i saw them together and even though i know i shouldn't be jealous but i am...shes so lucky to have a guy like him im so happy for her
i gota get over this whole thing
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| He meant everything to me and i meant nothing to him |
[26 Jan 2003|08:34pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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Insane Clown Posse- What is a juggalo |
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Im sorry but i still have not gotten over him...its really hard
hes all cute and stuff and he likes icp and w/e im just wasting my time with this shit but w/e i can't help it
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| i hate you |
[26 Jan 2003|01:11pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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The Used - The Taste of Ink |
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I miss all my friends from Brooklyn so much i hate this fucking town and i hate the hamptons its so stupid and boring here. There is nothing to do nowhere to go everyone is always so fucking busy. I wanna be able to hang out with Diana and Gloria instead of sitting in the big boring house i fucking hate this...all there is to do is smoke pot and sometimes people are even too busy to do that. i mean yeah i like my new house and all but i hate this silence i like the street traffic much much better than this shit hole with a bunch of fucking ass rednecks.
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| morning good morning |
[26 Jan 2003|10:04am] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
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music |
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Insane Clown Posse: Riddle Box |
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Pooie today is shitty im not going to Brooklyn cuz yakov is going to the dentist and hes only gonna be there for like an hour and i dun wanna see my friends for like 20 minutes lol its gonna be shit if i do
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| drugdsare bad bad bad |
[25 Jan 2003|03:19pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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music |
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Insane Clown Posse : Boogie Woogie Wu |
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well anyway just woke up and its about 3:13pm anid i feel like im high again cuz yesterdayi took 3 pills of Ativan or ativan whatever its called i feel like shit this morning and i feel throwing up and my mom yelled at me for taking it but w/e she won't let me go outside either she says that in my condition i could get run over by a car LOL ppft riight a car maybe a skateboard but i doubt it would even touch me lol unless someone hits me across the head with it
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| Meow? Insane Clown Posse kicks ass |
[24 Jan 2003|05:28pm] |
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meow meow im so bored...Tina and Kerry wanna come over
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| Wowiez! |
[24 Jan 2003|04:33pm] |
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mood |
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bitchy |
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music |
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Insane Clown Posse : Riddle Box |
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Im bored got home from school and stuff so yeah
grrr im pissed i didn't go to Kerry's today she just dissapeared into nowhere like 10 period today so i didn't get to hang out with her.Ouch! my butt hurts from sitting on this chair all this time lol
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awake
amused
creative
