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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
bambers' Blurty:
| Tuesday, July 1st, 2003 | |
| 3:49 pm | the worst and best night of my life last night was crazy. you know its amazing how bad the morning after makes you feel. i did some bad stuff last night with deva and then we went to a party nad got more fucked up and i was so out of it. it was not kool had no clue what was goin on. then deva fucked some guy leaving us out there with about 6 other highly drunk males. they were so nasty and i had to burn a guy and i din't rember it untilthe mornign after. i know he didn't do anything i might of had slow reaction time but i caught his hand before he "gripped" me. lol not kool at all. but i was fine and then since deva was in teh bathroom are ride homw just left and we were stranded in hillcrest out in the middle of fucking hell and with no ride. i was still buzzing so the rerst of the night is a little fuzzey...on the way home ya know. i just rember feeling really sick and i really miss a certain guy in kentucky i know he doesn't know it but i just thought i would throw that out there. so for nowi think im gonna go back to sleep even though i passed out as soon as we got in around 7 and slept till 3. Current Mood: indifferent |
| Saturday, June 28th, 2003 | |
| 2:58 pm | i wanna go home i miss everyone in kentucky so much but its ok im dealing. Wait i bet your wondering why i miss them...welll i am in alabama with a friend. i am having the best time but still. lol oh well i'll get over it. Wow i went to an awsome kick ass show last night it was great. i hung out with the band members from giving up the ghost if you havent heard of them then you will trust me they will be big one day. there awsome there were about five bands at 600studios last niht it rocked. i met a bunch of great guys threw friends last night and there awsome so much more mature than ky guys and that's great. anyways well i think im gonna go now because i have nothing further i want to mention except hey justin-lead singer and daniel-basist i think that's your name sry so bad with names but your guys rocked and you guys made my night great didn't see the drummer much but im sure he's great well saty "clean" and great lol jk ~later~ Current Mood: blank Current Music: imaginary-evenscence |
| Thursday, June 12th, 2003 | |
| 7:58 pm | today was an ok day... Current Mood: content Current Music: stuck in america- sugar cult |
| Wednesday, June 11th, 2003 | |
| 7:05 pm | I sit alone ,basked in my solitude just wandering how I ever really lived. I know I make no sense. But I guess that’s just it. You know? I feel as if no one really truly know’s me and those who do would gladly give up there life rather than come to terms with it. Its like I want to let people in but when I do they understand me more and I feel like there getting to close I am being smothered and I can’t handle it. I want to be mysterious and confusing but im not in the end I only confuse myself. I make no sense I feel as if everyone pretends to care but doesn’t and to be quit honest it makes me angry I hate that everyone I ever trusted has been lying from the beginning. They clam to want to be my friend and yet they go to someone else and complain about me. I guess my annoying ways are what they signed on for when they said they were my friend. I know that none of what I have said really makes sense but I just wanted to put my feelings down as I feel as if it might be the last time I right for a while but then again who can really say...I guess no one really knows. Do they?.....if you know me so well then please explain me to me....I would just like to say that Im sorry for ever hurting anyone in my undying quest to be the control freak that I am. I didn’t intend to make anyone feel as if....well I don’t know they might have felt because I haven’t asked them. I am so self-involved and I hate It I always try to control everyone and everything when really the reality of it is that the world is chaos and no one can control everything. I guess I have let myself get carried away now so I am going to stop and just hope that no matter what happened with all my past mistakes and all of the situations that I have inevitably screwed up I hope that someone out there still cares. Although I doubt it, but even in my tempered mood I feel I must still have hope, if a thing like hope really exists .now if you will excuse me im going to wallow in self pity knowing how pathetic I am waiting by the phone when the truth I already know. Current Mood: helpless and indifferent Current Music: dashboard confessionals-the whole damn cd |
| 6:23 pm | who cares...you....ya right...  Which Member of the Endless Are You? Current Mood: discontent Current Music: daddy's little defect-sugarcult |
| Tuesday, June 10th, 2003 | |
| 9:40 pm |  Pedophile's Dream Vampire What type of vampire are you? brought to you by Quizilla Current Mood: bitchy Current Music: raise up-un none |
| 9:29 pm | omg amanda amanda, due what the hell? if you want ed everyone to leave you alone in the chuck sit then you should have said so. i would have backed off and aobut everyothing that recently happend i would really like to talk to you but since your not talking to me i will say this if you read this any time soon im sorry for what i have done because in my mind its not wrong so i wont say i "im sorry". i f we are "best friends" like you say so then why do i feel as if im being taken for granted , used, and not filled in. am i wrong ....if i am please tell me because this is what runes through my mind most often.i mean what the hell?im confused on how this whole friendship thing with you works because as far as i can see i have done my part and its time for you to do yours. not saying your not a good friend just if your pissed come out and say it . i don't wanna always hear about it from chelsea. i told you when you pissed me off. well ya, i really am getting an awful vibe from you so just cool off and call me or something. Current Mood: confused Current Music: paper doll-Kittie |
| 8:48 pm | grrrrr ahhhh,this has been a crazy few days let me fill you in. Well yesterday i got dumped by my best friend to hang with my other best friend if that makes any sense. then i had angie over who is also one of my best friends. i seem to have alot of those huh? well i don't think i should because best friends don't treat eachother this way. Amanda had a bad fight with a friend and somehow i felt like it was my fault. i talked to him before they talked and then they got into it. and now im just like BLAH!!! i saw her today and she barley said anything to me i thought it was because she was tired but ...yeah she's mad at me. She thinks i told others about her situation when really i didn't i called angie crying last night trying to find some one to talk to me .she always makes me feel better but it wasent to try to piss off amanda. Angie was asleep and so i had to wait. But the next day when i saw them at es i couldn't just leave her in the dark about why at 12:00 at night i called crying. i told her as little as possible just so she got the point of what i was crying about. that is the only thing i said to only her and now amanda is mad at me. She thinks i "shot my mouth off" to a few people and is mad that i told angie but i only told her like the outline of the story and then chelsea filled her in. ok well if in that way i some how betrayed her trust or did something i wasent supposed to they i guess im in the wrong and she should be pissed. i don't think i did anything that she should be mad at me for. i try to talk to her about what happened last night and she just brushes me off and runes to chelsea. i know they were together when it all went down but still. omg i feel so bad like i did something horribly wrong here when its not that bad. how can i help her and comfort her when she wont let me in. once upon she used to think of me as her best friends. im sorry that all this happened to her but even though she is hurting doesn't give her the right to hurt others we already feel her pain its not like this has never happened to me. i wanted to help and now i just feel like she wants me to go away to be alone with chelsea. well that's fine some days you can handle only certain people but if she dosent wannt talk to me right now i would hope she might feel slightly obligated to tell me. hmmmm i would say something to her about it like how mad i was that she ditched me then lied to me and had a great time doing it. its not like she's the only one bad thinf's happen to i mean that's life and it happens to all of us. the fact that you fall down or get pushed down doesn't matter it how you get up(if you do) and walk away from it all that counts. i need to go pass out now i would call up some one to talk to but let me see.....ok wait getting pissed again so lets not go there Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: into the dark-juliana theory |
| Sunday, June 8th, 2003 | |
| 6:24 pm | Nicky Dipple--"N" + "d" YOU GET THE PICTURE? What's your stripper name? (female) brought to you by Quizilla |
| 6:08 pm | |
| 6:08 pm | kitty was 1st,this 2nd, purity 3rd  Jessicka Which gawth type camgirl are you? brought to you by Quizilla |
| 6:06 pm | |
| Friday, June 6th, 2003 | |
| 10:29 pm | |
| 10:23 pm | |
| 10:18 pm | so sew me  I am a rude kitten with a little pink butt Which cute or possibly strange kitten are you? brought to you by Quizilla |
| 10:12 pm | yeah,yeah...i know more quizzes...i didn't say you ahd to take them  you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You adorable, but a little out there. It's alright, you might not have it all, but there are worse which happy bunny are you? brought to you by Quizilla |
| 10:07 pm | awsome:gives chelsea salut: lol  Rock on, dude! You are Punk music! What type of music are you? brought to you by Quizilla |
| 9:46 pm | hey there im so bored so i am going to continue to take quizzes untile either my brain explodes or i go madd whichever one comes first is fine with me...i know im weird for having all this crap on here but i can't help myself im easily addicted. |
| 9:44 pm | i know amanda im not but i would like to think lol don't rob me of my wanna-be gothness  Punk Goth What Kind of Goth Are You? brought to you by Quizilla |
| 9:37 pm | awww that's so sweet  footsie - you like to goof around and laugh with the people you care about. What Sign of Affection Are You? brought to you by Quizilla |
