[112803 @ 05:33pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Sometimes I feel like shit. Like whatever decisions I make, it's always wrong. I don't understand why..but yeah. Raging hormones. It's a killer. Oh well.

Everybody sins. I think I've sinned so much that Hail Mary's and Our Father's won't save me now. =x I have never done any ultimate sins..like killing, adultery..and what not. So..I don't know.

I just feel really down right now. I've been waiting for this break and this break just sucks. Yeah..I'm not afraid to admit it. Wow.

Oh well. Whatever.

So this is the story of my life
(Absolutely nothing)

I need more excitement in my life.

;bloody bang

Oooo-weeeeeee [112803 @ 12:22am]
[ mood | awake ]

Happy Thanksgiving you guys! =D

I hope you had a good one and are quite full!


I didn't eat much food today. Today was actually upsetting and I ruined my mom's Thanksgiving and almost Edgard's too. Sorry mom! ='(

I hate my irresponsibility. -sighs- I guess I might be maturing into an adult =)..Or possibly not. Urgh. I try..I really do =( But I truly lack a lot of things. For example, I don't know how to cope with stress or anxiety. Also, I don't know how to deal with situations that aren't too familiar to me. I need to keep my cool and be calm, otherwise, I start going into extremeties and start blocking out my reasonable thoughts.

So here I am..12:00 in the morning..typing my daily entry and wearing an all black outfit that contains a lot of dust. Ugh. @_@

;bloody bang

So this time it was me. [112603 @ 07:31pm]
[ mood | distressed ]

I called him awhile ago..(like 10 minutes ago) and he sounded monotone. Different and I didn't like it. I could understand..or no wait. I don't understand. So, I was trying to be friendly and he just acted all weird.

I tried. I did. So don't you dare say I didn't this time.

=x Erk. So what am I suppose to do now?

Maybe I should just sleep. Being awake for this long isn't worth it.

;bloody bang

Still no call. [112603 @ 03:51pm]
[ mood | crappy ]
[ music | Foo Fighters ]

What a bummer.

There's something that I can't quite explain
I'm so in love with you
You'll never take that away
And if I've said a hundred times before
Expect a thousand more
You'll never take that away

Well expect me to be
Calling you to see
If you're okay when I'm not around,
Asking if you love me
I love the way you make it sound
Calling you to see
Do I too hard to make you smile,
To make us smile...

I will keep calling you to see
If you're sleeping or you're dreaming
If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me?
I can't believe you actually picked me

I thought that the world had lost its sway
(It's so hard sometimes)
Then I fell in love with you
(Then came you)
And you took that away
(It's not so difficult, the world is not so difficult)

You take away the old, show me the new
And I feel like I can fly when I stand next to you
So while I'm on this phone
A hundred miles from home
I'll take the words you gave
And send them back to you

I only want to see
If you're okay when I’m not around,
Asking if you love me
I love the way you make it sound
Calling you to see
Do I try too hard to make you smile,
To make us smile....

I will keep calling you to see
If you're sleeping or you're dreaming
If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me?
I can't believe you actually picked me...

This is just craptacular.
;bloody bang

how horrible. [112603 @ 01:02pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | 3 Doors Down : Here Without You ]

We had a fight last night. I don't know what to think or say. It's just been happening lately. Is it my overzealousy? Is it my nagging? Is it my whining attitude? Is it my paranoid feeling of being hurt once more? Is it the feel of another rejection twanging at my chest? Is it my annoyance at having another restless night due to a subconscience?

The 1st slap..I didn't..somewhat mean it. Your attitude towards other people..it irks me because..I dont know..Maybe it's just me, eh? Girls and guys will always be different towards us because we're attached and too paranoid. Is that it?

The 2nd and last slap..I was angry at you. I felt hurt..maybe for wrong, invalid reasons. Just the way you looked at her, and maybe I am trying to pursue you to say something that I want you to say...and if you do agree falsely, I would even be more blind to the truth..is that it? I don't know.

It's my fault. It's always, will be, and has been my fault since the beginning.
You don't think I try? Hell yes I try. I try real hard..but sometimes it's not my fault that emotions take me over.

YUCK YUCK YUCK. I just want to piss at myself for being so crappy.

;bloody bang

;) Hey again. [112603 @ 12:02am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

I have awakened from my slumber sleep of Blurty deprivation. Yes. Here I am with a new layout and look! Which I, MAE!! created; therefore, if anyone dares to steal this, feel the wrath of my bitch attitude.

Anyway. I don't know if I am still a friend of anybody's on blurty because I lacked journal entries and I understand why someone would delete me. -tear- ;.;


<33 Mae

;bloody bang

Another entry for the day? Wow.. [072503 @ 11:08pm]
[ mood | weird ]

Yay! _yuna_ has me still added and actually commented back!

Today was a lot of fun. Yep.

Blargh. Too bad I just have a loss of words right now.

Before, I had so many things to say. Hmm...

I miss being a child..and growing up into an adult is somewhat sad. But thinking about growing up with someone I love just comforts me and gives me a push towards adulthood and its responsibilities. I remember I used to relate to the song, "Responsibility" by MXPX.
Responsibility..whats that? Responsibility..not quite yet....
...We're better off without it..I don't want to think about it...

Yeah. That song rocks hard.

-sighs- What's up with me saying things like that? Well..awhile ago, I was watching this old, old, old videotape of my family at a big party in the PI with my boyfriend. It was a lot of fun watching with him. We were trying to dance..I dance funny *sighs*

People are complexed. =/ Merk.

;bloody bang

After so long.. [072503 @ 03:25pm]
[ mood | dirty ]
[ music | Falling For You -Student Rick ]

Hey blurty friends, I'm back. Why after all this time? *shrugs* I don't know..

I was going to give away my journal name, but then I realized "oh crap! i have an EA!" hahahha. So yes, I feel quite priviledged now. *teehehehe* It rocks hard. Truly it does.

I think I tried making a Free Account, but then it wasn't as good as an EA. I dont understand why anyone would want to make a Free Account if they cant get to do styles and cool dealios like that. I guess it's the fact that they really want a journal to play with. Rawr like whoa.

I want to know who is still with my friend list? I'm gonna make a fresh new start! See! I even deleted some of my entries that reminded me of sad..sad times. *shakes fist*

It's so bright outside *hisses*


But I know you probably don't care.

School is coming up and I hate it.

Hehe. Peace 8) <--cool face

Sidenote: I need a bath.

;bloody bang

I itch. Give me your backscratcher!! [032803 @ 09:49pm]
[ mood | okay ]
[ music | McDonalds Song ]

I just got back from that S/D volunteer thing at school. Been there since like, when? After school! O_O Dang. Yes. So I got home like 20 minutes ago..ahhhh. I got a ride home from Mehek and her COOL GRUNGE cousin! :) Yeah, he looks really cool. He looks like Remy LeBeau ^^ only..needs a goatee kind of, heheeh. Just like Remy! Oooh lala..Remy, ahahahah!!

I got to spend some time with Edgard ^_^ It was great. <3

I dont really have anything interesting to say. Oh yeah...some chick "had an accident" *cough cough* in the girls restroom and it was like all over the floor. Ewww. Things like that is why I dont like public facilities. Seriously. If I wanna go..I'll hold it in. That's really bad, I know. But...ewwwww. You dont know what happens in there! O_O YOU DONT KNOWWWWW! You know I know you agree, lol. Or do you? Wait..do I? lol.

I have no idea what the freck I'm saying. I'm kinda tired. URGHHHHH. Tirrrreeeedddd bbbaaaabbbbbyyyy. Urm....*drools at the side of mouth with a blank stare at the screen* Eww, ahaha. Not really. You have saliva too you know!! It's natural..just like burps and farts, lol. Except smelly farts..cuz...those smell...well....yeah. ^^;; Unless you're comfy with the person who does it..then it's hilarious..just as long as they dont intend to do it everyday..then that's just frikkin annoying.

Beans, beans, the magical fruit
The more you eat..the more you..TOOT!!

Love that. Edgard told me that, ahahah! Anyway, I'll write later if I feel like it. BLUAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAHHHAAAA *hack hack cough choke* lol jk. *Mwuahz*

;bloody bang

n.n do be do be dooo [032303 @ 04:59pm]
[ mood | blah ]

I havent written any recent entries in here, and since I have quite some time in Keyboarding and I finished all the stuffies that I needed to finish, thought I'd stop by and say "HEY GANG!!!" *pelts exploding beads* bwuahahaha..yea..they should make those Mardi Gras beads all itchy and stuff...that'd be funny..then you'd see some -real- shaking! lol jk.

Hmm...I really dont have anything else to say...OH! I bought The Ataris cd yesterday! >=) YES YES I DID!!! *does the jiggy* Ish the best..I wub it sooooooooooooo much. Mmmmmmmmmmm. *clings to it*

Mom freaked when I told her who dropped off those papers at the front door. She probably thinks I take Edgard home when they're not there...x.x Boo. Blah. And being that my mom knows about my relationship, she wants me to go home early and stuff. :( That means I have a less chance of spending at least 10 minutes with him after school. **boos even more**

Yeah. So umm..yeah. o.o Go away you freaks!! I have no more beads to give.

Wheee! Favorite word: fucktards.

;bloody bang

....I think I lost my insanity.... [032203 @ 07:46pm]
[ mood | scared ]
[ music | Cinderella -Off By One ]

I think I'm going crazy because I heard my cellphone ring..or I heard a cellphone ring. But..I guess it was just me?...

I'm totally creeped out by myself. Wow.

..Thats sad.

;bloody bang

Something smells good but my nose is clogged up. Eww. [032103 @ 09:42pm]
[ mood | sore ]
[ music | Anniversary -Student Rick ]

Hmm, I just noticed about cursing. You see, I gave that up for lent..I gave up 3 things for lent:
1) chocolate ((it was hard..and its not working..thats why i have backups!!))
2) cursing ((..erm..yeah..this one's pretty hard too..damn you habits! :x))
3) not being lazy ((pfft...u.u))

I'm failing miserably. My mom is watching some movie about some asian chick being some d00d's concubine. Man, I would rebel against that :(:( *sniff* Women have the same rights as men! So what if God created man first? God created women too! Equal partners mannnn! Equal partners! And I have a guy's extra bone to prove it!! lol.

I'm obsessing over Student Rick. They're so great..*swwwwooooooonnnnnnn* I've been hearing "I'll Meet You Halfway There" for the past 4 hours. No seriously, no lie. o.O

Yes yes. I think I'm done.

;bloody bang

N00B. [032103 @ 11:47am]
[ mood | bitchy ]
[ music | Meet You Halfway There -Student Rick ]

Yeah, so I'm new here. O_O Rawr! Ph33r me. Okay, enough shitty l337 talk. Who invented those crappy peice of things anyway? I came across blurty..accidentally I suppose if you could say that.

I'll have to re-do another entry because my mum is calling me to go eat now. BLARGH! Eating is for losers, jk.

;bloody bang