||Mindless Self Indulgence - Royally Fucked
I don't know why I decided to come here, I was actually forced. If all of those security guys or whatever you want to call them came to my house that day and held me down almost dragging me out the door I probably would've gotten away if I was just taken there by my parents. Most likely, I would've snuck out to one of my friends house with everything I owned and stayed there. I was planning on trying to move in with one of my older friends anyways, but my parents had to get worried about me now out of all times they had to get worried about me now.
I've been suicidal in my life a couple of times, sometimes I've tried slitting my wrists and becoming unconcious but most of these times were at a friends place. Then I've tried overdosing with pills, I wouldn't say I've done drugs because I haven't touched any substance of it, not even marijuana. I've been asked to try that, along with acid and some other drugs but for some reason I always turned it down. I suppose drugs just aren't my thing, and I doubt they will ever become it. The only addiction that I went on a binge with was probably drinking, I never touched cigarettes either - the things disgust me.
I've been dressing, and acting like such a depressant when I was around the age of eleven, that's when peer pressure and the teasing began. I always had anger built-up inside, and sometimes I was so close to bringing guns to school and just shooting every motherfucker in sight like the Columbine Tragedy or something. Then there have been times to where I just wanted to bash the fuck out of someone for just looking or even snickering at me.
I guess I have a bad temper, and I'm a little psychotic eh? But that wasn't the reason why I was sent away, my parents were worried of why my grades in school were failing, why I never had friends over, and never talked of a girlfriend and somewhat never had talks with them. I mostly had my friends come over at night or when they were gone, though they were aware of my drinking habits.
My friends usually called me 'Wednesday Addams', because I reminded them of the girl from the movie - The Addams Family. I guess you could say I have an attitude like her, but only my friends can call me that. And I've yet to make any here, though I must say I'm a very talkitive and opinionative person.
The other reason I was sent here was, I don't know how but my parents also found out that I was bisexual. I didn't find anything wrong withit though them being parents they found everything wrong with it. So fuck them, they are the ones who screwed me over and sent me here. I doubt I'll ever be free of this place, and when they come to visit me I'll make sure that they don't find me, because I'll probably want to rip them apart if I saw them ever again. I'm not ready to see them, and talking about them is making me want to rip them apart now.
I might be a little bipolar, I'm not sure. But I won't make that judgement, they'll just have to make that judgement themselves I'm surely not since that'll only give me more time in this hellhole. That's all I even feel open to express.