[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 7 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Thursday, May 1st, 2003|
Grow up you stupid Cock!
I need to fucking fucking grow up. I need to just get over suck it up. And stop being the girly depressed "i am ugly everyone hates me" shit. Dear god how sad is that shit. I want to fucking hit my self uhgggggggggg. Oh lameeeee. How could I waste so much time on some bitch that barley wants to talk to me. I rarely get the girl and maybe thats my fault oh well. Maybe im just to ugly to annoying or some shit. If it is i dont care anymore. Not gonna set and bitch about it. I think i dont get the chicks because i dont lie enough to them. I dont really lie, mostly just white lies. But i need to be like those guys actually getting chicks and just lie out my ass. Or get em drunk hahah. Oh well . People think its sad when a guy cant be happy with out a girl friend. Oh ive been happy, but id also like to for once have a girlfriend. Im 17 years old ive had one gf for 2weeks and ive never done anything more then make out. Oh my god. Im gonna be that dorky guy in all those movies. OH wellyl welly welly im a dork idiot dumbass mother fucker but at least i know who i am ! haha GAHHHHHHHHHH IM SO HAPPY! i think to much ahahhad gag;ladfghl'akhadl'gafkldnmhADHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH COCK!
And here is something kinda funny? i dunno i made it up. I call it...............
WTF Fish in a barrel?
I dont understand why someone would say, "Its as easy as shooting fish in a barrel" Who in the hell catches fish and throws them into a barrel? And what are they using to shot it with? Yea i want me a nice bullet filled fish for dinner. Or you could use a shot gun and just watch the fish explode. Personaly i think it might be easier to get one with my hands then go out get a gun load it and shoot it off in a barrel. What kind of red neck are you now?
|Thursday, April 24th, 2003|
Shit sux and so do you, but you suck in a good way :)
Well when life gets really bad a blow job can always make you feel better i think? I dunno i think it would but i cant seem to get any. So when shits going really bad like cigaretts i whip out my dick and light up and beat away. Then life is good for a bit. Hahaha. Im totaly honest on this journal because i know no one is going to read it and if anyone does it wont be anyone i know so fuck it. I am obessed with tits ass and face. Oh my fucking god if you are beautiful im instantly in love for periods of months. Even after i ask you out you say know , cancle on me, dont hang out with me, dont call me, and dont give much in return for what i give you. But you do this all in a nice way so i cant hate you thats why i cant get over you. Im using you in the plura and singular form. Speaking to all girls ive tried to go out with and also one specificly. But im getting over her now. Just any time i see her i cringe and in away dont want to be there but at the same time just want to be as close as possible to her. Which really makes no sense shes never done anything for me except give me pain. So what the fuck? Anyways im starting to get really desperate last time i was with anyone was almost a year ago and that was for only 2 weeks. Im a 17 year old virgin, and your thinking man what the hell is wrong with this guy oh he must be a nerg weigh 200 pounds and ugly as shit. Thats not it at all im 5 "11 163 lbs. Many girls have said im cute hot blah blah blah. Not just the ugly ones good looking ones to. But im an idiot so i cant seem to hook up with them. Long fucking story on that. Generaly everything is my fault. Well fault for how my life is and how i view it anyways. I tend to go for extreems and look for constants in my life that arent really there. So yea life is fun. Sometimes when my life is going really well i find a way to fuck it up or view it like shit. I dunno maybe its because im a teenager or a lot of my friends try to down play stuff that i tell them. Like i say all these chicks say im hot, and my friend goes well that just because of this blah blah blah, or its all in your head. Blah blaja'dfklad'mkgl'adgmkaldmkgdl'akmg'kladmgfmkl NO ONE READS THISHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! gahhhhh bla blababfadbgfkaldadgkladfa COCKOCKOCKOCKOCKCKCCKCKKC
If i dont get some fucking head or some kinda of action soon i will explode and good night
|Friday, April 4th, 2003|
My birthday was March 28th
Well on my birthday i had a huge party and about 75% of the people who came i didnt know but it was still cool bands played and everything. I got little crap from everyone for a present which was nice. The only person i wanted anything from was Kelly and she didnt give me anything. I didnt like want much just something she could have given me like a stupid card or something tangable. A duct tape wallet a pencil, a drum stick, a sticker, absoultely anything would have been fine. But now i dont even have that. Im not mad at her or anything just disapointed i knew she wasnt going to get me anything. Just tells me about how she feels about me. Which isnt much... I dont blame her for not likeing me or anything just not fair. Oh well ive accpeted it, it sucks but what can you do? I wonder if she ever kept anything i ever gave her? For valentines i gave her a tulip a card and a drawing of her and her favorite snowboard. She seemed to like it, she was very happy with it which made me happy. Also when she gave me kisses on the check was nice :) ill try not be to pathetic. I know this is one girl of many, and yata yata blah blah. But i dont understand why i like her or anything all i know is i have this reflex to just talk to her as much as i can muster and force myself to not grab hold of her and not let go. Oh well im writting this for me not anyone else. I doubt anyone is reading but if you are i hope maybe you can see what im going through and might help you out.
Well i had a 4 hour detention with the girl of my dreams. I thought it might be a good thing being in the same room with her for 4 hours. But my mind wanders and hopes beyond hope, for a really cool conversation with her or some other stupid shit. I made her laugh some i annoyed her some she talked to me over all a normaly person would see it as a good day. But not me i turn everything with her as a bad experience or i should have done this or that. I wish i didnt sit so close to her or far away so i could just stare at her for 4 hours. I should have sat even closer to her to throw things at her and notes. But oh well what are you gonna do. I didnt see her all week then i see her in detention and my life is shit again. Its funny how she can make me so happy one moment and feel like crap the next.
|Sunday, March 2nd, 2003|
I was looking at FacetheJury.com my friend has a account on their. Also happens to be the girl that i so would love to go out with. Anyways she said on there what "turns her on" you know what you like and what kinda of guys your into shit. Well it pretty much described me. Which pissed me off cause i already asked her out and she said no. I am still looking for a reason why she said no. I am also still trying to go out with her. Anyways on her profile she listed for turn ons for a guy ,.... Open-minded Funny and Philosophical. Philosophical one hit me. I use to think all the time about stupid philosophy. I stopped doing it so much and now i remember why. I have an old habbit of over thinking. I think about life to much and try to put a definition to it that cant be placed. Life is just that life. And as a teenager it usualy sucks. Seems like every year of high school i pick out a girl to obese over. Im hoping i really like this one. Ive liked her since sophomore year and im now nearing the end of my junior year. Trying to see the good side of everything gets tiring so for now im going to just be depressed. Its easier than trying to be happy. I dont like to end on such a sad note. I mean why do i feel like im so special. There are plenty of people who are not dating and plenty who are and are miserable. There are also plenty who are happy and lonely and happy and dating or married. I must remember there is always a balance in everything , but this belief also leads to laziness. So its a difficult philosophy but it sometimes helps through the rough spots.
|Wednesday, February 26th, 2003|
A poem thingy , Why
The way she smiles
How small she is and how I can protect her
The way she can need me for a hug
The happiness that is always there even when she is sad
The pain I feel when she is upset and how I would do anything to make her good again
Her eyes Her hair
Her amazing laugh and voice and sense of humor
How unbelievably nice she can be
The fact that she won’t go out with me
The way I inhabit almost every aspect of guy she would want but doesn’t
Her ability to cripple me
Her ability to make me insanely happy
The way she kills me or picks me back up in one look or sentence
Her style the taste in music
Because she is the only girl I ever want to hug for forever
The hugs she gave me and the kisses on the cheek
The things I gave her and she adored
The broken skateboard piece I hope we share
I Just started so just testing it .
Hi im new just testing it out. Ill write something tomorrow just seeing if its in working order.