Patt. Whoohah.'s Journal
Wow, I really fucking hate this holiday   
10:21pm 14/02/2004
 
mood: Suicidal
music: Silence. The only good music for Depression.
Wow, it's valentines day, and to put into simple terms, I am really fucking depressed to no fucking belief. And thaty results in me cursing like no other, and probibly ending up killing my self, or attempting such when I get home. Currently I am at the student union, and yea.. Here with friends but it don't work at all cause i am still really depressed and there ain't nothing they can do to pull me out of it.

For some reason... This always happens. Damn... My life really blows.

Love, Peace, and Extremely depressed Chicken Grease
Patt		  
     
I`m coming... s o o n.
 
More Notes to Self. (Read all the Way through and Get a Quiz!)   
01:18pm 08/02/2004
 
mood: bored
music: Note: I am Bored to an Extreme Extent, and yeah..
1. Try not to cough while drinking.
2. Coughing is painful. Try to do it as little as possible.
3. Never leave coke in your mouth too long. It gets very hot and turns your teeth to rubber.
4. It is best not to stand in the rain when you are sick.
5. Never try to swim in a puddle. It just makes you look silly.
6. On second thought, swim in a puddle. Note peoples expressions.
7. Be sure not to swim in the puddle when its cold. It's just not good common sense.
8. Stare at people at school. Note their expressions.
9. Tobasco sauce is not the best medicine.
10. Never say you think you may cough up a lung. Because one day you will cough up that lung, and it won't be too pretty.
11. Get really close to finding the secret of the universe, but get bored at the last minute and go play video games.
12. Don't piss God off...For obvious reasons.
13. Never remove things from the top of your head. It just becomes a painful, sticky mess.
14. All electronic equipment is out to get you.
15. Stay away from Radioshack.
16. Despite what you may think, you did not invent duct tape.
17. Coconuts are....painful.
18. Always carry a map. That way you know where you are lost at.
19. Despite what you may think, you are not omnipotent.
20. Think of a way to become omnipotent. Tell no one.
21. Don’t die alone. Take many people with you.
22. Remember, your name is Patt. This may come up.
23. They will live to regret this. Repeat this aloud as often as possible.
24. Smirk, as if you know something, from time to time. This will eventually cause people to tell you their secrets.
25. God is everywhere. This makes for a tough game of hide-and-seek.
26. In regard to previous note: stop doing anything!
27. If someone in a green suit offers you a free trip to Afghanistan, Israel, or Palestine, avoid this person at any cost.
28. Floor is slippery when wet.
29. Lake is slippery when dry.
30. Sun is bright when lit properly.
31. Do not stare directly at the sun…unless it stares at you first. At which point, standard staring contest rules apply.
32. Only talk to strangers you know.
33. Strangers you don't know are all spies... Kill them all.
34. For legal purposes be sure to erase last entry.
35. Tell all your friends about the spies that are trying to kill you.
36. Regarding previous note: Upon telling your friends about the spies that are trying to kill you, be sure to kill them…for security purposes
37. You're telling yourself too much.
38. Crying isn’t going to help anything. Try your luck with violent mood swings.
39. Mirrors are not portals to parallel universes; do not purposely run into them because of obscene gestures made by your counterpart.
40. Do not run with scissors stuck in your foot.
41. Do not read between the lines; you’ll never learn anything like that.
42. Assemble your twelve closest friends, and start a war with Canada.
44. Find some way of making twelve close friends.
45. Upon taking Canada, be sure to gloat about it, and make outrageous mandates such as replacing the word "Hello" with "Boo-ya!"
46. Make a scene whenever humanly possible.
47. 73 years from now, adding up 6% interest, your current friends will owe you a total of $53,325.32.
48. Make new friends; see note number 44.
49. Friends are over-rated, enemies make life a lot more interesting.
50. Next time you kill someone, make sure that they are indeed DEAD, as failure to do so may result in some nasty questions...
51. The Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about.
52. New evidence emerges, disregard last note.
53. Look into possible "stalker" reference in the following excerpt: ...and everywhere that Mary went...
54. Remember to eat more than once today.
55. For best results: turn knob, THEN open door.
56. Remember not to run with scissors. Even trotting with them at a good clip may be dangerous.
57. Never leave car keys in your pocket when playing on the Slip 'n Slide.
58. You left your car keys on the night stand.
59. Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning.
60. For the last time, you cannot fly. No matter how far off the ground you are when you begin flapping your arms.
61. Even with a good tail wind.
62. Run into a crowded firehouse and yell, "Theatre!!"
63. Remember to rewind tape and find out where you left your car keys.
64. Breathing is a good way to avoid blacking out while driving.
65. Flammable and Inflammable mean the same thing.
66. Lather, rinse, repeat.
67. Heheh, "a good clip." Trotting with scissors...."clip." Write that one down.
68. Unlike a fine wine, milk does not get better with age.
69. Do not let your eyes off of the mosquitoes for a minute! They have begun mobilizing.
70. In one study, laboratory rats died after 17 days without sleep. Learn from the mistakes of others.
71. Ship has crashed on a desert world. Food supplies running low. Robotic assistant damaged beyond repair. Child dying. Wife fading fast. Never let Dr. Smith do the driving again.
72. Investigate this whole "Critical Mass" thing after the klaxon dies down.
73. Car keys found. Now, where did I put my car?
74. The chicken/egg thing has been resolved.
75. And always remember...uh...um...damn.
76. Buy more micro-sized tapes for recorder.
77. If someone else is also trying to take over the world, kill them.
78. Memo to self, do not forget this memo.
79. Check!
80. The computer does not want a kiss.
81. Taunt the computer with a virus until the blue screen goes away.
82. I win!
83. Find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
84. Get on the super hero's good side, then become the villian.
85. Your other personality doesn't need an ice cream too...
86. Yes I do!
87. No....you do not you pig!
88. That's it, I'm outta here! I don't need this verbal abuse!
89. You can't leave!!!!! I neeeeeeed you!
90. Deep down inside, we're all skitzos.
91. No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.
92. That way is rum.
93. Those who don't do, teach.
94. Your teacher doesn't like it when you call out.
95. Your teacher doesn't like it when you raise your hand.
96. Throwing books out the window is not a good way to get on the teachers goodside.
97. Neither is knocking over desks.
98. Be intimidating.
99. If you have an old teacher, go ahead and cuss.
100. Sing the most annoying song you know.
101. Stop when you notice the person next to you is singing along.
102. Mission accomplished.
103. Say stupid things like 'Speaking of mashed potatoes...'
104. Talk in a southern accent.
105. Talk in a British accent.
106. Tell dumb jokes that make no sense at all, and then just laugh.
EX: Two polar bears are sittin' in a bath tub, one says, "Go screw in the light bulb", so he did.
107. Pretend you have teret syndrome in a public place or transport. i.e., the bus.
108. Powdered milk is the antichrist, remember that.
109. Destroy anything that even resembles a cow.
110. Melted cheese is NOT good for watering plants.
111. I wonder who went up to a cow and said "I'll squeeze these and drink whatever comes out."
112. Mayonnaise has feelings too.
113. Humor stupid people, it makes them feel intellegent.
114. Plot to take over the earth using farm fowl.
115. Strike that; rubber suited, fire breathing far fowl are more efficient.
116. Never stand up in class and shout, "Dance, dance you little monkeys!"..People might stare.
117. You are not a flying slice of balogna.
118. When in the presence of someone more wise than yourself, point in a random direction and say, "Look, a distraction!" Then run.
119. Number twelve is too good to have its own note, so move on to thirteen.
120. No matter how much candy you have, you will always want more.
121. Do not tell children Santa Claus is fat because he eats little kids.
122. all your base are belong to us
123. all your muffins are belong to us, too
124. Your name is Patt. Disregard that old man who calls you Jonathan, he is senile.
125. Clearasil is for cleaning your face, Lysol is for cleaning the floor. Using these on the opposite surfaces will result in a lemony fresh face and pimple free floor, neither of which is the desired result.
126. The silvery incorperal person is not real despite what she says.
127. While 42 may be the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything, it is an insufficient answer to most mathmatical problems.
128. Dunk your head in boiling water.
129. Disregard above note, was recorded by your brother.
130. Have doctor treat results of note number 128.
131. Tape your show.
132. Disregard above note, your show was canceled. Hunt down the monsters who would so that to your show.
133. Disregard above note. New information has revealed that your show had been cancelled years ago and you had been seeing re-runs. The people who originally cancelled 'Bewitched' have already died.
134. Find new favorite show.
135. Tape new favorite show.
136. Blonds that Are in classes like dance & Cheer, Will never understand depressing poetry...ever...
137. Never date Blonds that are in classes like Dance & Cheer...ever...
138. To where pink at school is to Die.
139. You friends consist of: Goths, Outcasts, Geeks, Nobodies, nothings, Hackers, The Shy kids, & a High elf wizard named Zem’zaellinkinvalishmar who is 384 years old, considers himself a mere teenager and can teleport you to the plane of fear if the need arises for it
140. Sword of Fire pulse broken gas line = pain, in extreme amounts.
141. All Pissed off blonds you dump will automatically cling to your best friend
142. Life is painful, Death is painful...I really don't see a difference do you?
143. NEVER... EVER download BONZI buddy.
144. Day after graduating, come back and spill gasoline behind you going through the entire school screaming “You will all perish in flames!”
145. Scratch that, do it quietly during a class period.
146. Park car 10ft. from the point that you stop spilling the liquid.
147. Get in car.
148. Fix lighter to burn on its own.
149. Throw lighter onto gas.
150. Drive away laughing hysterically.
151. Yell out window something to the extent of “Good riddance you pest infected junk yard!”
152. Scratch whole senior prank idea, would have to carry it on to the college level in the next state.
153. Your dog does not breathe that loud.
154. Scratch that, you can hear her outside.
155. Do not talk to your self out loud, it frightens people.
156. Because I said so.
157. Just because your friends tell you monthly that you scare them does not make it true.
158. Having complete strangers tell you that monthly does.
159. The tree on the school grounds will not implode and suck the life out of everything, thus ending the world.
160. The other one to the left will burn down the world first, it’s collecting lightening clouds.
161. Duck tape does solve all problems.
162. Calculate how much room there is between the garage door and ceiling of garage directly proportional to your little brother’s width.
163. Get more duck tape.
164. Raise garage door.
165. Disconnect garage door.
166. Ignore the frightened looks you get form the neighbors.
167. Scratch that, glare at the looks they give you.
168. Take down brother before neighbors call the cops.
167. Bribe him to stay silent.
168. Potato guns shoot far.
169. Point in the opposing direction of your neighbor’s roof.
170. Shoot the other neighbor’s front door, it leaves a bigger dent.
171. Inside of a potato gun, alcohol and firecrackers don’t mix.
172. Outside doesn’t work either.
173. Bribe the little demon in your computer to cooperate.
174. Scratch that, threatening is more fun.
175. Scratch that, bribing keeps your homework typed out.
176. Running down the halls of your school screaming at the top of your lungs : “The evil carnivorous ducks, mutant grass, and radioactive chickens are trying to take over the world!” does not get the point across.
177. Adding: “Run for your pathetic lives!” does.
178. Same for the evil seagulls of death.
179. Bind best friend’s mouth with duck tape so she does not tell any one that some of these are actual note’s to self.
180. Find a way to stop typing what you’re thinking, they might find something out.
181. Glaring at the computer screen when you’re IMing does nothing more then make the little demon mad.
182. If 42 is the answer to the universe, then is 43 the most evil number in the universe?
183. Stay away from 43.
184. While arguing with friends, Don’t use “Just because I believe in a little world in my head doesn’t make it real!” as an argument when your choir teacher is walking past.
185. Because it makes him start to regret the FBI job to kill you that he turned down.
186. The people from the government aren’t out to get you.
187. They are trying to run away from you.
188. The evil, demented person in the mirror is, on the other hand.
189. Fire is fun.
190. Only start bon fires in your driveway.
191. Grass burns.
192. Faster than you can get the hose.
193. Kill all your enemies in the most disturbing way possible.
194. Start with drowning them with fire ants.
195. If that does not work, ties them up and cut them up, chunk-by-chunk.
196. If that does not work, Call Mary Anne for help.
197. Don’t tell anyone about the inside joke.
198. Scratch that: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1166193
199. If all else fails, tie them up and make them listen to your entire list of notes to self, half of which are not posted. This will cause them to go insane.
200. People Don’t want to know about your problems.
201. That’s their problem.
202. Find the creator of pop ups.
203. Kill them
204. Brutally.
205. High explosives Don’t solve most problems
206. They solve ALL problems along with duct tape.
207. Write down important information down
208. Yes, your hand will do fine
209. You’ve been using nail polish remover again, go wash your hands before you die from too much poison intake.
210. Get recorder to remember important information, pen washes off.
211. Put tapes in recorder AND THEN record
212. Dispose of recorder due to the excessive amount of incriminating evidence.
213. Dispose of tapes too
214. The internet is bad for you.
215. It encourages you that’s why
216. Yes, so do emails and IM’s
217. It’s okay to still use the computer though, just take out that internet cable
218. That’s the power cable to the city stupid, it was in the ground for a reason.

I hate u
your theI hate everything Happy Bunny


Which Happy Bunny are you??
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I`m coming... s o o n.
 
Woo, once again.. More fun times downtown   
11:48pm 07/02/2004
 
mood: naughty
music: White Flag - J.V. All*Stars
Well, Again... It's time to post my fun weekend from friday and saturday, which if you haven't guessed yet, I spend downtown with friends, whom my mom wants to impale with a cross in an act to unpossess them... She's strange like that. Anyways.. onto my weekend as of now.

Friday, Ancondo and J.V. All*Stars played, and it rocked. Me and stef hung out most of the night... But I also took a few people my Friend Amber.. and one of my other friends showed up with her boyfriend. So I actually knew people there. We went to amigos and had some food, I hung out with a Really hot Guy named Maxx, and his friends Brady, Sam, and Some dude who gave me a ride home.. I forget his name. Obviousl Josh was there too, with his ug-- wait, he could be reading this.. Hot Girlfriend, Ashley. Went home sometime around 11:00.

Saturday, The concert was surprisingly canceled, inciting an anger within me not to be matched by even the devel himself. We instantly went to Wendy's and hung out for a while before Heading for the union. Maxx and Sam wanted to see a movie, and that sounded neat, so I went with them. I got them in to see Gothica, and that was great especially with all of the side comments. After the movie we finally went to the union, and stayed there. Me and Sam took it upon ourselves to gang-rape Maxx, but the point is he enjoyed it.. We all made out once or twice with each other, including me and him. Sam even took a picture of me and him making out. Hot. We left around 10:30ish, and the ride home was hillarious, cause Sam and Maxx (Haaa. Just like the Videogame!) were making out the entire time. It was great. After we dropped Maxx off, Sam was my sleeping pillow.. that bit me hard. She broke skin. It Kinda hurt, but was hot all the same. I got dropped off around 11:20ish, and that was that. Now I am proceding to collapse onto my bed, and die. Because I am Uber Tired.

Love, Peace, and Patt Admiting he is now Bisexual in a very Hot way Chicken Grease
Patt		  
     
I`m coming... s o o n.
 
Bad Shit always Happens to the worst of us.   
05:59pm 05/02/2004
 
mood: cranky
music: Libertali Fateli - FFVIII Soundtrack Remix
Well, My week took a turn for the worse yesterday. I was having a great week until then, planning ahead on what I was going to do on the weekend blah blah blah. My plans were screwed yesterday.

See I was driving home from wrestling practice, taking the main street I always take home when some bastard in a full size Pickup decided to cross all four lanes of traffice and cut me off. This forced me to slam on my brakes. See, I live in lincoln and we have been getting pounded with snow left and right, so our streets are slicker than snot. I avoided hitting the pickup, but in a dramatic irony, hit another car. Wow.. My new '98 Ford Focus was totaled. Bad. See That was my baby, and it broke.. so now... sinc ethe officer was a complete pain in the ass, I got my license revoked. I can't drive till I turn 19. Wowzers.. that's in 14 months!! So.. now.. I have to pay my parents back for the repairs, and also use a bike as my means of transportation for the next 14 months. Yippe Skippy.

Love, Peace, and Aggrivated at Gay Ass Police Officers who don't know how to do their job or be compationate to people who just got in a massive accident, and then take an attitude with them Chicken Grease
Patt		  
     
I`m coming... s o o n.
 
My Weekend Which is Currently Ending.   
07:11pm 27/01/2004
 
mood: loved
music: Silver and Cold - AFI
Well, Where to Begin? Oh Yea.. Thanking Mexico. Thank you for the massive horde of moisture you threw at us, to recieve 12 inches of snow. Thanks. Now, Since I last posted on sunday, which was when I though I had to go back to school, alot as happened. We'll do this in days, Shall we? Yes, I don't need an answer to that question this is my story, you can't tell me how to write it. Whore.

Monday, First Day of Snow, Absolute hell Breaking loose.
Well, I found out about the snow day at about 10'o'clock sunday night. I called random people in a glee, but then stopped. Monday morning, I woke up around 2ish in the afternoon, to talk to that girl I was talking about in my last couple of posts. Fun Times, I didn't even risk going out in the blistering -20 degree weather, for fear of my nuts falling off my body. I got to bed around 1'o'clock Tuesday morning after watching cowboy bebop.

Tuesday, Second Snow Day, The Repeater, The Aftermath.
I woke up around 9:30 - 10:00, just to go outside and clear off the drifts from the night. I needed to do this because I wanted to go over and see stef and usually actions speak louder than words. Thought it would give me some brownie points with the parents. It Did, but then my New car decided to have it's battery die, resulting in the stranding of Patt to his home. Thank god for my Next door neighbor, Rock. He came over, gave me a jump, and helped me get to Wal-Mart to buy a new battery. yay! I came home changed, and drove over to Stef's. Streets sucked, Bad. I got stuck like twice on my way, but managed to struggle my happy ass free. I got over at Stef's around 3:30ish and stayed till around 6:15. We watched a bit of Seven, and yeah it was fun. We're going out now! Woo!! (Notice, Two excalmation Mark thingies. That's Good. But those Excalmation points come with a free frogurt, which is cursed. That's Bad.) I'm as happy as a Sloth in a Coconut tree. Err.. Or something like that. I got home, and now have to face the bitter... Disgusting feeling of going back to school. But Hey.. one more step to friday.. and one more step to Knickerbockers. I can Survive, I hope.


Love, Peace, and More Burning Hot Sinful Yet Extremely Sexy Chicken Grease
Patt.		  
     
I`m coming... s o o n.
 
More Giddy Quizzes Proving how Damn Weird I am.   
01:04pm 25/01/2004
 
mood: quixotic
music: Uh Oh Nicole - 8th Wave
You are...a L o n e r...
You are a LONER. Tho u like being with other
people, it's nice to have some time for
yourself too. And sometimes people are
annoying...so it's better to be alone and do
whatever you like. So yeah...go away!


Yet another personality test ^-^ (nice anime pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla


HASH(0x8528228)
A Loud Guitar Solo: You are the wild one! Loud
noises and chaotic scenes are in your
preference. You have a sense of adventure that
is truly yours alone. Whether your at a concert
or at home enjoying a thunderstorm, you are
bold and beautiful! Rock On! (please rate my
quiz)


What Sound Are You?(now w/ pics)
brought to you by Quizilla


DarkMagic
Dark magician. You love the dark because of it's
beauty and just the life that no-one else sees.
Mysterious, calm, quiet... But that doesn't
mean you're not friendly!


Please rate ^^


What kind of dark person are you?
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HASH(0x83805f0)
Ghost or spirit: You are a lost soul. Very calm and
sweet, you are often the one who asks: What if?
With a clever mind, you want to explore the
world on a different level. Without the
answers, you aren't ready to move on. You are
most likely very creative and find yourself
thinking things through on a different level.
(please rate my quiz)


**Where will you go when you die?**(now with pics)
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Rebellious
You're a natural born trouble-maker. You hate
authority and do everything you can to get
around the law, or in some cases, break it.
Naturally stubborn, you hardly ever sway once a
decision is made. Your nature is fiery and
courageous, and always out-going. You love
attention and usually have kinky fetishes
you're not afraid to explore. People either
love you or hate you.


What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla


Fire
You have a fiery soul. You aren't the quickest to
get angered, but when you do get angry things
can go really wrong really fast. You are
generally very passionate in the things you do.
(Rate my test)


What force is your soul?
brought to you by Quizilla


HASH(0x88f6b00)
You, my friend are a true individual. You most
likely hate trends and are creative. By seeing
things differently, people either admire you or
think you are a bit strange. I'm guessing you
are a lot like me. Perhaps a Good Charlotte
hater? I hope so. An inspiration to us all,
continue being you! (If you like GC, I'm sorry,
I am just expressing an opinion)


A Deeper Look Inside Yourself (with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

  
     
I`m coming... s o o n.
 
Woo. Forgot Something! Very Important.   
12:18pm 25/01/2004
 
mood: hot
music: Birdbrain - Youth of America
Well.. The Girl that I was talking about earlier in the week, not the one in my last post, but the one that I posted about last week. (Must Stress This.) is a Meanie-Head, Is not awesome as I stated. But a bitch. Happy Birthday, and a Merry New Year.

Love, Peace, and Still Ever Stressing the fact that she is a Bitch Chicken Grease
Patt.		  
     
I`m coming... s o o n.
 
Woo.. Posting at 12 on the Dot. How Strange.   
12:00pm 25/01/2004
 
mood: chipper
music: The Leftovers - Magazine Girl
Been a few since I last posted about my godforsaken life. Since Last time I posted, it has been pretty fruckin' boring, I mean the typical shedual.. Go to School, Go to Practice, Do my Homework, Eat, Do another Manly Activity, go to bed. Friday and Saturday were the two things I really needed to get my boring life back up to par. Friday I went to knickerbockers and watched Fatty and the Twins' last show, bought the Leftovers CD, went to amigos, met a few more new people, watched my best friend make out with someone ugly. Wow, It was great. Saturday, I went to Hot Topic got some new shirts, a bottle of cologne (Which smells AWESOME.), a Jack Skellington shirt, and then went home for a few. I hit knickerbockers again saturday night... Not as packed as friday but still a descent turnout. A girl I met friday and I got to know each other a little better, which improves my life even more, because she is not like anyone I have ever met before. I really like her. Also friday we hung out at the Union, got kicked out by cops, and watched little 10 year old black kids pick locks like pro theives. It was hillarious. I got funny pictures while I was at wendy's.. I'll have to see if someone knows how to upload pictures, so everyone can see me and some other guy mocking having sex. It's Hot. Lol. But yea I have to make some calls and then see if my CD burner will decide to work for once in it's stupid existance.

Love, Peace, and Even More Burning Hot Chicken Grease
Patt.		  
     
I`m coming... s o o n.
 
Notes to My Confused Self (Woo. Bored. )   
09:17pm 19/01/2004
 
mood: determined
music: That's the Impression I Get - Mighty Mighty Bosstones
1. people are staring at you.
2. so act insane.
3. when seeing Lord of the Rings cheer for the trees.
4. Spongebob is the knower of ALL wisdom.
5. if today is not your day, then make sure it's no one else day either.
6. when seeing Star Wars do not try to take the lightsaber from the screen.
7. When the people in the white jackets come, ask for a room with lots of pointy objects.
8. If that doesn't work ask them for a designer jacket.
9. When people give you strange looks make sure you go up and start shaking their hand.
10. If accused of world domination, just turn and walk away.
11. Then go home a plot world destruction since they know of your last plan.
12. If you live in your own little happy world, I will find you.
13. Mint gum can cure anything except schizophrenia.
14. Some people live, some peole die, and I rule.
14. Never try to image Yoda as a football fan. -shudder-
15. Pointy objects are fun.
16. Dragons are fun until the knight shows up, then you have to lie low so they blame the dragon.
17. If life gives you lemons, throw them at someone.
18. People are weird, but not as weird as me.
19. Coffee is my friend.
20. Go away.
21. Do not introduce self to strangers as role-playing character.
22. Repeatedly trying to pop wolverine claws only pulls tendons in hands.
23. I am not a wolf. I am not stronger than the average vampire. I do not know karate.
24. The Band-Aids are in the basket below the bathroom sink.
25. The cat is not trying to steal my soul while I sleep. The cat is not trying to steal my soul while I sleep. The cat is not trying to – Ahhh! Away! Get away from me you minion of Satan!!
26. Kill Clippit, the annoying Microsoft Word office assistant. He’s working with the cat.
27. Do not ask alter-ego how he is doing.
28. He will answer…at length.
29.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
30. Do not answer as fictional characters in public.
31. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
32. Do not go out in public.
33. Remember: Blistex and Itch-B-Gone numbing agent come in the same type of applicator.
34. The mirror is not a portal into another realm. Stop running into it.
35. I told you to stop running into it.
36. The Band-Aids are still under the sink.
37. When cell phone says press any key to answer incoming call, do not press 9. Pressing 9 will cause cell phone to explode, sending fiery shards of plastic flying through your inner ear and into your brain.
38. Band-Aids won’t fit in your ear.
39. Plan for world domination: Clip the paperclips in every government office around the world into loops. Then take over world while former leaders are busy trying to find the ends of the paperclip loops.
40. Find out why people always try to find the end of the paperclip chain instead of just unhooking the first one they grab.
41. Keep world domination plan secret.
42. Make it look like an accident.
43. Do not stare at the sun, unless looking through a rubber duckie or eating chinese food.
44. Rubber duckies and chinese food makes everything better
45. Try not to be shocked by the loud disembodied voices in department stores, as no one else seems to be.
46. Wear large trench coat to school. Note people's expressions.
47. Fill trench coat pockets with miscellanious items, such as rubber duckies, duct tape, real ducks, etc. Pull items out while searching for a "Quarter". Note people's expressions.
48. Cold is a figment of your imagination. Just like rain, heat, and time. Pay no attention to it.
49. Upon talking to friends who enjoy secrets, often smile, while trying not to smile, resulting in a smile that looks like you know something. Frequently say things like "I promised not to tell..."
50. It is very hard to write your name normally while circling your left leg counter-clockwise.
51. Russian spies are everywhere. Trust no one.
52. Two words: Trail Mix
53. Often adopt people you see everyday, but never talk to, and don't know their names. Think of a name for them. Keep them in your head as your pet, and have mental conversations with them.
54. Write your name on a sticky note, stick it to your hand so you won't forget.
55. Rubber duckies rule the world. Quack.		  
     
I`m coming... s o o n.
 
 
corruptedchild
 
 
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