Oh jesus!   
02:26pm 04/06/2005
 
mood: hot
music: Michael BUble - Sway
Oh my god, oh man! I have just run smack-dab into my new infatuation. Oh god...I've been like, transfixed by this man. Oh god...I'VE DISCOVERED MICHAEL BUBLE. He is so...beautiful!!! And...oh my god...so passionate...and he like..uhhh!! omg! He makes me HOTTT! oh jesus...i need to go.
 
     

(5 hit the high notes | sing like mariah)

 
Dark   
02:05pm 04/06/2005
 
mood: productive
music: Nightwish - the phantom of the opera
Well, I haven't posted in some time because I have been literally on an emotional roller coaster. Acting, honestly is a full time job, both physically, but mostly emotionally. And to think...I haven't even begun. But I think that lately I have come to terms with many things, and today (prolly why I am posting now), I feel a release...an emotional relinquishing...something that just makes me feel above complacent. I think that I am back to my old self now! yaya! lol. Well, as many of you know, I have been in my first week of rehearsals for the play, "The Taming of the Shrew," and at first...I didn't quite enjoy it (but that was the first day), and on the last day I left with my heart full...full of happiness and confusion...which is much better than the negative energy that I had manifested the first few rehearsals. I can't wait to see how things turn out, and today I am just going to enjoy my lil break....and (even now) on Monday, will continue my learning. Of life...and of myself....and just remembering that it never ends, and it hasn't even begun.
 
     

(1 hit the high note | sing like mariah)

 
Danger Lurks   
06:02pm 23/05/2005
 
mood: tired
music: The Ukes of Hazzard - Gay Boyfriend
So, today was quite awesome...i mean, it was a lil monotonous and the teachers were struggling to find something to do in each class period (you could tell that they were making things up as they went along, lol). Overall, it wasn't that bad. On the bus ride home, I didn't even become highly aggravated until about the end of the ride when I was almost home. But, the whole time I just read some of my awesome script that I am so excited about!!! yay! lol. But, I am misleading you...you all think that my day was all honky dory...well it was until i arrived home. (lol, u know how dramatic I can be, don't think that something tragic or unbelievable happened. lol) Well...yeah...my day turned into a disaster once I came home and decided that today I would get my lazy lil black ass off the couch (and stop watching Oprah) and go and see if I can get a job. Well, that was a good idea right? Afterall..I need a car eh? Ok, so I hop onto my shiny red mountain bike and stroll through the garage door which almost flattened me because I have to push the close button and dart out the garage really fast in order to get my bike out of the garage, so while in the process I was almost flattened. Only then I didn't see that as a sign that there would be more danger lurking..in every corner that I turn (literally). lol. Okay, so I am mozing on down the street on my bike, I'm known to drive wreckless and so there is no exception with my bike. lol. Plus, I dont have a very good sense of awareness since I like to sing while riding, and yeah...it's just distracting. lol, hey...what can you do? Its me! After a few bumps here and then, I reached my destination. Well, by the time that I reached the Walgreens in my neighborhood (that is, after I was sung-out, and sweating), to talk to the manager who told me to come back to him in about 2 weeks to ask if any positions were availabe...in the middle of the freaking parking lot like and idiot I start shreaking because this incredible stabbing pain has just occured in my ankle!? What the fuck?! I thought it was a like an ant or something that was biting me, and the sad part was that I was too afraid to look down and see if it was a bug...lol...put I mustered up the courage and saw that it was like a porcupine needle thing! like a ball of needles. Nevertheless..the M*****F hurt! Well, that was minor, I got that out of the way and suffered the tiny sting that remained in my leg. To make a long Walgreen story short, I walked in there, the manager that I needed to see wasn't there, I talked to another manager, I told him the story, he told me that there were no positions available and to just keep checking back, I did, I went back outside, visited ever other store in that shopping area and got lucky with the hopes of one job application in which I shall pick up on Thursday. There, ok...moving on. So, I walked back to where I had mounted my beautiful red terror machine (bicycle, lol)...and took off like the wind. Next major destination was Albertson's. So as I headed to Albertson's I wanted to find some type of shortcut because there are so many roads in my neighborhood that will just get you lost. But in short...I almost short-cutted my life when a car darted out the way to avoid colliding with my head because I was riding in the middle of the road like that genius I am, and a car was speeding around a corner to come into the entrance of neighborhood, and there I was siging and pedaling, unbeknowst to the danger that lay in front of my face...so, we managed to swerve out of each others way and live for god' sake! lol. Ok, continuing the rest of my dangerous journey...lol. I arrive at Albertsons and I am locking up my bike (gotta be safe!), and as I was securing it, I think some lady said, "Aiunt nobody gonna take that bike, I dun no why u is locking it up," in a very ghetto-fied tone of voice. lol. Hmmm lady...why would I lock up my brand-new bike in front of a giant (not to forget, popular) convenience store...?? Figure me that one! lol. Well, I walk in there, sweating like a swine, and I did mah bidness wit da peoples dat I neededed to done bidness wit. lol. (Practicing the ghetto..u know!) lol. He told me to return on Friday, I think that I have the job there though. Now, my next and most dangerous journey was to the Wendy's quite a way's length from my house (but nothing that I couldn't handle). On the way over there, my bike freaking flips out on me because I started riding in the sand, and so I half fall off my bike in front a bus thats unloading kids, and in front of about 20 cars waiting to pass the bus. Oh man...how embarrassing. But..oh no! It's not done, the terror is not OVA! lol. So, my gears decide to lock up as I just regained balance, and once again I am nearly thrown off the bike (got dammit!) do I sense hostility here!? Fuck! (excuse le Fránces) lol. Note that the cars and the children are still there, watching me tumble like a retard who is just learning to ride a bike for the first time. Well, the only thing that I could do to ammend the unchained chain malady was to reach down and manually adjust the nasty gears, and of course, I was left with a greasy black residue that made me look like I had just shooken hands with and octopus. Yup! that's how I was expected to ask people for an application. lol. Although I was extremely distraught and highly ticked..I kept on like a trooper and decided that I wouldn't go home and wash up, afterall, I had one more place to go, and when I arrived there I figured that I would be able to wash up a lil before I ask for a job application looking like I just hopped of the boat from South Africa. lol. As I began to mount my bike and continue my journey, before I was able to swing a leg over my bike, I nearly fell over into the street because I was on a steep lil incline on the sidewalk when I began reparations for my bike. So, for at least 10 seconds of struggling to not fall over into the street off the side walk and watch my bike fall on me, I finally regained balance (barely), and luckily I still had the will to move on. ( whoa! how do I do it?) lol. So, I stared riding again, this time in the way of my place of interest...and things were going smoothely and I felt confident enought to start singing while riding my bike...and as things got better while passing trees in the wind...I removed my hands from my handle bars (yup, that's skill right there...I can ride as long as I want without holding onto the handle bars). So, I'm flying along, singing, hands in the wind...when (as if I thought that it would be that easy), I grab the handle bars to turn a shrewdly sharp corner, my handle bars took revenge on me for neglecting them...and they like flipped themselves inside out, making my brakes point straight up in the air, and significantly distorting the appearance of the top half of my bike. How nice huh? Now I have a broken AND bitter bike...couldn't get much better huh? lol. So, I still just decide to toughen it out, I HAVE to do it...I dont quit dammit! I'm Brandon Samuels! lol. And so I keep continuing on, riding and this time making sure that I don't get comfortable. Jeez, I even think that I misjudged the distance because it was getting to seem further and further away. Yet I persevered and made that loooong journey to Wendy's, the place of the DIABETES EXPLOSION HAPPY MEAL. lol...how lovely. I dont think that I had too many noteworthy accidents on the way over there besides the occasional, "why is that boy singing like a freak" look from passing cars, and of course...without fail...the near car collisions and the quick bike swerves to save myself from permanent bruising. Omg...well I made it. Yes, I made it to the to that lil red-headed happy buger bitch's establishment they call Wendy's. And to my surprise they had completely redone the inside of it so it didn't look so stolid. lol. At least it wasn't a terrible waste. But before I even thought about going up to the corner and asking for an application, I had to clean up a lil first. After relieving myself, cleaning my nasty face and wasing my precious, but soon to be calloused hands, I strolled up to the cashier's desk and waited for the negligent Wendy's server to finally see that I was waiting patiently to get and application. I recieved it whole-heartedly, and went about my way. The ride home was danger free, except for the few awkward moments when I had to cross the street, and the cars were polite and let me go in front of them, but I stood there like a duck and just looked like, "why are you stopping in front of my?" lol. I made it home safely, semi-whole, and ultimately full spirited because I had accomplished the deed of the day! Thank gosh! And so...I am here now! yay! lol. I'm pooped. Byebye, thanks for reading the short novel! lol.
 
     

(sing like mariah)

 
One of those AHA! moments   
10:31pm 21/05/2005
 
mood: chipper
music: Leanne Rimes - Blue
Well, im going to skip the explaining part of my day for now because i dont have much to be sarcastic about, and my day wouldn't be funny unless i didnt make it sarcastic. lol. Anyways, the purpose of todays posting is to explain my AHA! moment. I was talking to my lovely friend, Thuy, and i had an AHA moment. I realized (i know this is goin to be stupid), that money really cant buy love or happiness. U know...its one of those things that people always tell u but u cant quite understand it until it happens to you, or u think really hard about something and it comes to you, u just realize it. So today i was out at Winter Park Village, this like really ritzy lil place in Winter Park. My friend Gayatri and I went there to see a movie and then eat dinner. Lemme tell u, the movie was freaking funny! I liked it. We saw, Monster-in-Law. lol, i recommend it. After that we went to the cheesecake factory and then to Starbucks for some coffee. It was fun. LOL, although the whole time we wished that the other was a boyfriend. hehe. At that point I was super hyper, and i mean some of my friends know how overexaggerated I can get. lol...but then, i kinda had a "mood-flip." Like seriously, my mood did a back-flip and I just became somewhat pensive, but mostly I was almost dissapointed. I mean, i spend a nice day out with a great friend, and look where im at at the end of the day...dissapointed. I think i was just realizing some things just from todays lil experience. I mean, u can always get something out of anything u do, u just dont always know what u can learn from it, and sometimes it can be pretty weird, or rather...unexpected. But i just thought that i was realizing how i want the simpler things in life. Im kinda opposite. I want credibility and i want to be the best at everything, i sometimes try to achieve perfection! (with not avail...not all the time though), but at the end of the day I just want to settle for mediocrity in the eyes of a person that sees a glass half full not half empty. So its opposite...the less simpler things leave my cup half-empty, and the simpleness of mediocrity leave me half-full. I guess thats the way the cookie crumbles. So, all in all...how does that come to money not being able to buy happiness or love. Well, just think about that..i dont need to explain that..

Well, this morning i went to the Orlando Shakespeare Festival to pick up my script. Yeah....wow!? lol. So i get there and there is live some yummy looking beautiful ice cream truck (im like heck yea!), and theres a lot of gay people (but i mean c'mon, its downtown orlando at a performing arts festival), and anyways there's like other lil tents and events going on, and i just dont have any idea. Personally, it was just a lil too..uhhh...kabaja. Thats what it was, kabaja. U know what, when i cant explain something from now on, im just gonna say , "kabaja." That's much easier to understand. lol..no need to rack my brain and try and formulate what i want to say onto my journal. Just know that when kabaja is used, the meaning has some complicated Brandon feeling that no1 can explain but him...its just the weirdness eh? To make a long story short although im not known for making anything short, i basically was able to pick up my script for TYC, my play at the Orlando Shakespeae Festival. The Taming of the Shrew. Its gonna be awesome! So thats basically it. Ummm...after that i went home in the car of my papá, of course that is...after i extorted him for money. hehe. Then...oh yes, when i arrived home i definitely put on a show! lol. Well, i was feeling musically today, so i had a country lil time in the lving room, and then i sang my musical lil heart out in my room. So, yeah..it was good! lol. Umm, yup...overall, depending on how u look at it...today was simple. I just experienced my realization because of the sharp contrast of today's experience. I guess u can say that i was both sides of the fence today. lol. Maybe i just need to be with myself (or a lovely mister) one day to enjoy the simplicity life can give you. Enjoy it, it will always last, u can always have it...not stipulation to it. So i challenge you to find your simplicity, wheres your level of content...afterall...complacency isnt ALWAYS bad.
 
     

(1 hit the high note | sing like mariah)

 
On independence day...   
10:15pm 15/05/2005
 
mood: grateful
music: music would be independence day by martina mcbride
I did the hardest thing that i think that i will ever do in my life. Today, I came out to my dad, i told my dad that i was gay. Everyone else has known for forever and a day, and i have felt a lil bad about keeping my dad in the dark, so i had shine some light on that situation today. Although i didnt think he would be shocked since i had falsely convinced myself that i thought he knew, and that it was a tacit fact that we hadn't discussed. Well, i was far from right. Here's the story, lol...

Well, i went to my bestest buddy's today, and we hung out for the day and just chilled. [made a cake! yum!] I had called my dad earlier to ask him to pick me up from her house, and although i knew for a long time that i just wanted to get that, telling him that im gay, out in the air, i just kinda had a strange sense that only i recognize NOW that i was going to tell him today possibly. Well, after (countless) attempts of finding sasha's house (lol), He picked me up and we were driving, talking about just chit chat...i mean first of all, my relationship with my dad is unlike any other, so it would be hard for me to explain the uniqueness of it...the good, and the bad. But mainly, i started thinking to myself about how much i missed him being around because i live with my mom, so i rarely see him, opposed to when i would go to his house and we would hang out for the weekend and such. I realize that i have taken a lot of things for granted with him, and personally treated him unfairly (maybe more than others), and i mean he didnt have to stick around, but he did. So i mean, mixed with guilt and a feeling of lost or perhaps lonliness...like i have possibly lost something, the question about coming out to him came to my mind. But first, i mean i thought that it wouldn't be so bad, afterall i was realizing so many things about our relationship with each other..it was actually getting better...but i see that as it got better and us more understanding towards each other...the actual "father/son" communication was lacking, basically..i wished a lot of things, and one of those things was for my dad to be happy...especially since he was living alone and having a hard time, i wanted him to be happy. But i didnt realize how that would affect me too. He is happy, with a new family...so i kinda feel left out...but i can look past that because i always wanted my dad to just move on and find something that makes him feel totally comfortable and happy. And even now though he still tries his hardest to keep in contact with me and check on me as often as possible, afterall, im no longer a child and we both understand that...so i think his concern now is aimed more toward my well-being. But, i guess i thought that it wasn't enough, maybe i was even jealous that those other kids were getting more attention, but i realize that it the kids being with my father is something they need, i had my time and i guess in my life i things move on, and one of those things wasn't my dad, but i mean, he's somewhere where people can use him, and he can use people. He's happier now. That's what matters because i got to enjoy my dad and all of his "uniqueness" because heavens sake knows that he is quite "unique," so, i should be able to let go and let others enjoy my father...i shouldn't be stingy and have him all to myself...so, that was a process of letting go that i had realized before and made clear today. So, anyways...as we were driving and i was contemplating whether or not to tell him, i felt like a cell about to divide. You know, theres a stage before a cell divides and it makes sure that everything will be ok, u know....that the ride won't have any extra bumps along the way...its the "go or NO" stage...and basically, i felt like i had to go. It was my time. But, at that moment...it was so hard...i realized how hard this would be. Like a ton of bricks...the realization hit me...it weakened me...and suddenly i felt myself becoming weaker, but i had to stay strong and i remebered so many people that held me up and admired me before...so that's what kept me going. I wouldn't crack under pressure. So, i took the process slowly, i did it in stages. I just said, "dad, i have something to tell you." He was at first sensing that i was joking, but i waited and thought about it, (and dad being dad forgot that i told him that i had something to tell him, lol), so i more or less, "reminded" him that i still had something to tell him, and i guess there was something in my voice to let him know that i was being serious. For he apparently became aware of that too. I reiterated that i still had something to tell him and he asked me what it was about, if it was about my mom or something, and i just told him that it was about me. He just insisted on what? what was it? So, i still held back, and finally i told him that it was important for me to let him know that i...that i...and i kinda stopped. Then i took a deep breath (meanwhile we were at a traffic light), and i just said it...."that i am gay." Well, needless to say, my other thought of him kinda knowing it already...was proven wrong because apparently he had absolutely no idea. Its like the signals had been crossed. He explained that it was shocking, frankly, i dont think that he knew what to think. But i kept asking him, u know, what are u thinking? But, he was just dealing with it as a person handling news of a loved ones death would handle it...just shell shocked. Which for some people is hard to believe (dont worry its hard for me to believe that someone wouldn't know either. lol), but u know...some people just see you as who u are. And to make a long explanation short, I just was concerned about letting him know that that was it!! That nothing is gonna change...that basically the Brandon that u have always been knowing has always been the (eccentrically, lol) gay Brandon that i have always been! I mean, nothing is different. But mainly, that nothing is going to change about me, that nothing "happened to me," that it wasnt some decision that i made, that it wasn't something that went wrong...no, it wasn't any of those things. I have always been the same Brandon that i have always been since the day that i was born, and for some people it is hard to comprehend, and for others its not. I mean just think, for those who cant believe that, every other alternative thought that u have can be answered by your own self...i just want people to know that i am no different from any of you. I dont want to face opression because someone can't understand what i go through, or who i am. There are things for me that are hard to understand too, so i know its not cake to just get it right away...but know that in this situation, that I've always been Brandon, as i grow...i will still be Brandon, and apart of Brandon is the fact that he is gay...but thats certainly not all that Brandon is about, and nothing makes him different...only thing different is what is different from everyone else...how unique one can be, and thats it. Sorry, all other thoughts about someone turning u gay or making u gay, or u choosing to be gay are wrong and even some gay people cant get that..but for the majority, u know that u come into this world knowing what u will be one day...and from that day u are born...if you're gay, you know it and thats all there is to it. A simple realization...but most importantly, I'm who i am and nothing can change that.
But, back to my dad. For the most part, i know that he will accept me...he already has, and both of us dont know it because we have to have that verbal agreement. lol. But, it will come. Overall, this has actually been a life-changing experience...it brought about new things to think about, and opened up a brand new (inner) world of me thats left to be explored...afterall, u never stop learning about yourself. For the most part..the relationship between my dad and I can only get better i believe, and thats all I can hope for. But, whovever is reading this..i really hope that i have encouraged you in some way, made you think or at least question something. Dont be afraid to open up your mind to new things, near and far..theres so much out there...dont let it waste away. For the others...just take something from this, thats all i can say. Whatever u take from it...use it to the best of your advantage, use it for yourself. There's something though, u don't have to look too hard. It's there.
Thanks for reading this...it was difficult to put in words...and possibly more difficult to trust my words...but my motto now..."is not to worry."
 
     

(10 hit the high notes | sing like mariah)

 
Boyfriends   
06:22pm 12/05/2005
 
mood: pensive
music: La naturaleza muerta - My eyes
Hmmm...well well well. How many posts in the pasts have i dedicated to boys? Yeah...thats right....boys...lying, break your heart, mischievous, machiavellian, RUTHEless, TEPID, cheating...boys. Take your heart, smash it, step on it, spit on it, kick it, curse it, pee on it, (poop on it..hehe!), sit on it, shoot it, sling shot it, then shoot it again...boys. How many of you out there have ever liked a guy? yeah? But you knew you had no chance right? And why think that? I mean of course, you always think, "oh, they're never go out with lil ol me??" But then...for everyone, not right away though, but for everyone, sometime in their life will find a person that they love. Now, i have never found love (especially NOT with the people that i've dated in my life), but then you realize that after a while, a simple boyfriend...someone with such an isignificant title in your eyes because you barely know him get old after a while...yeah, it get old JUST having a boyfriend. You get older and you want to look for love...but thats the operative word...the key thing!! LOOKING. Personally...i think that we use that phrase, "looking for love" incorrectly and quite loosely. People!! how many times have u ran into love in on the shuttle bus to Magic Kingdom!? NEVER, thats right, NEVER. So where does love come from?! My gosh!! love MUST come to you...not you to it. Right? Cant everyone believe that? That YOU run into love...and love is the one that finds you. So STOP LOOKING IF YOU WERE LOOKING IN THE FIRST PLACE. lol. i feel like a preacher or something. But, i guess what the overall perspective of this is...well, you know there really isnt one unless you take something away after reading this. You decide if there is a purpose to this...you decide what want to think about it. Afterall, no two things nor opinons are the ultimately the same.

BUt what i said in the beginning, i mean i dont really feel like that. lol..i mean c'mon...who likes guys more than me? lol...*for all you that know me and Paul* That mainly represents what types of barriers society and YOU put between the two people in a relationship...it simply represents preconcieved ideas [and stereotypes], just labels that attempt to define what, or WHO? a person or general thing is in GENERAL. *male in this case* WE all KNOW thats not true though...i mean come on? You always hear people talk about something that they just need to give an opinion on, or that they feel that they should give a reason for something...well not everything needs or can have a reason. But theres a "something" for everything...and thats just an example that reveals how silly one can be to even repeat...or try to guess what another one is because one cant find one thing that everyone can see because one thing cant (general description) can't ultimately describe one thing in one word, phrase, sentence or speech.

So, this is more about what is just coming out of me...me just typing what i thought. I dont think that i have gone back to that side of me in quite a long time. LIke i said...if you like the posts, and haven't read the previous post...do so and tell me what you think...post a comment, then tell me (so i can read it). Pues, me voy...hasta la pasta!! yaya! ¡me encanta el italiano!
 
     

(2 hit the high notes | sing like mariah)

 
Let the trumpets blow!!   
07:03pm 06/05/2005
 
mood: worried
music: Finale - Wicked the musical
Well, i just finished fixing the look of this, i tried SO many things! lol. But i came to the conclusion that this was different and new enough, u know, see guys im trying too look out for you too, i dont want u to have to look at the same ol thing all the time, just trying to change some things up! hope u like, if u dont then tell me and i will fix it. lol...or help Sasha(scoopie) for some help. So yay! we are getting new furniture today!! Ok, i should't post this but the furniture man was supposed to come today like when i was home (he didn't) and i was imagining all these crazy things!! weird!! wow? i cant be the only person that has lil wild fantasies. You, expecting me being all alone and then a nice (young for god's sake!!) furniture man walks up to my door and rings the door bell...perhaps i am just climbing out the shower and i answer the door with my towel...and well...haha..j/k. sounds like a freaking porn video. HOw typical u know!? Porn is so freaking retarted. Like that really ever happens in real life? i mean i guess thats why it is fantasy, but thats not the point!! Ms. betty big breast just happens to stumble upon a sex-god stud freaking what...(thinking of a plausible scenario but not thinking too hard because porn doesn't require that much brain effoet), and lets say mr. sexo delivers the mail and with his awesome and well-polished acting skills (right!!?) fashions a perfect smile with perfectly aligned teeth and a perfectly, set, chiseled square jaw....and mr. sexo just WANTS to be polite so he follows his "sexo suavo" smile with a, "hello ma'm, how do u do?" and betty big breats says, "oh hi mr. mailman!! i does good, and yourself fine mr mailiman delivery man sir?" and then flexo sexy muscle big sex-god dude leaves his beautiful (state-owned by the way!) mail delivery car (which is holiding millions of packages and important mail letters about people STD results) is left unattended on the side of the [dangerous] road becuse sexo climbs out because like a magnet he connect with big breasted betty's breast, hmmmm?? i sense unsafeness since if u didnt know that betty was 78 yrs old but was previously married to a rich man in which she inherited 3 million and used that to have complete plastic (younger) looking surgery, which she uses to attract sex horned eager lil males that think they're grabbing a bombshell. hehe, have fun mr. sexo...

Ok, at a new (non pornographic) paragraph. Well, i stayed home yesterday because my back was completely on fire!! wow i was in pain. So i did hom(o) work all day and learned about gandhi...not even gonna go there. And....today was our semester exam in AP biology, and it was hard as hell! in my opinion at least! but i know i aced the essay part thats for sure..i hope. Then on monday its more freaking BIO!! mainly because its the AP test, so then after that it will be allll over!! and i can get ready to enjoy summer. As for tonight, i am going to watch (non porno retarted crap) tv. Anways, im leaving now. lol...ok, bye!! bye!!!!! jeex, people....go away.

....oooO..............
.....(....)...Oooo...
......\..(.....(....)....
.......\_).....)../.....
...............(_/.......
... I WAS ............
.......... HERE ......
 
     

(3 hit the high notes | sing like mariah)

 
Who's the girl biotch?   
04:08pm 30/04/2005
 
mood: hyper
music: Martina McBride - this one's for the girls
lol... i am in such a giddy mood! lol. I feel like the gay boy that I have always need to be right now. lol. seriously, everywhere I look i see gayness.. w/e im being weird. today is my friend's b-day party~ merry 16 nikki! lol. We are going to play "project runway" tonight! isnt that fun!? i think so. hehe. Well, i went to class today and we played games first. We played a game called snake, and i was a blind mouse hiding from the snake, and I was strategicaly hiding in corners until by the 3rd game they figured out my tactic. lol. Afterwards, we worked on our scenes, I am Oberon from a midsummer night's dream so I am fierce. Yup, im the FIERCE king of the freaking FAERIES!! lmao!! haha. lol. anyways. seriously though, i am a faerie in the play...well not just a regular faerie. a FAERIE KING. hell fucking yeah. watch out. *hmmm*. lol. then I got a haircut afterwards and some lady was asking me about girlfriends and stuff and i just walked away...it wasnt such a good neighborhood and i figured i like life...so, i fled!! lol. Oh yeah, i made nikki brownies last night! they're going to be incredible yummy!! i hope! : 0 (nervous smiley). Now, i need to pack and get ready for tonight and squeeze in some homework before i leave. Well, lol. I guess you're happy(maybe) that this was s short post huh? lol. yeah. some u of u dont like my lil novels. Well, anyways. ttyl. *muah!*
 
     

(1 hit the high note | sing like mariah)

 
Jump down turn around and pick a bail of cotton   
04:34pm 25/04/2005
 
mood: chipper
music: Ukes of Hazzrd - gay boyfriend
I still dont know where these headlines come from...no spoiling by talking about them though. Well, this weekend was very successful! As I had recently posted that I was liking someone new...that didnt quite go like I thought. lol. I was going through some issues so my best side, to say, didnt quite shine very well...more like my half deceased side. lol. But its all good now. Maybe something could still happen, no pushing though...whatever is meant to happen will happen! right?! thats right...AGREE WITH ME. OK, well the competition was great. As u can see in this post, im not exactly going nutters with the typing because I dont really want to type that much, so im kinda giving u a brief synopsis of the weekend. Sorry if u we looking for a novelized post. lol. IM just a lil out of it today. I'll be back to Brandon again soon. Plus I have mucho homework. so, I should go. see ya'll later. If i havent't told u about competition, you'll know soon enough! i cant stop ttalking about it anyways. so. c ya!
 
     

(sing like mariah)

 
?¡Its a brand new day?!   
11:17pm 20/04/2005
 
mood: jubilant
music: television!
Oh wow! I haven't felt this good about a post in quite awhile! I guess I had been going thrgouh some type of teenage menopause! hey..it could happe!? Well, now that the "bloody" storm is over, I think that I am finally back to myself again. Once again, vibrant!, exciting! and as always...quirky (and queer, i know u were waiting for me to mention that...jeez. lol) Slutty slut nut bucket...ha! hows that for a transitional phrase!??? hmm?? (furthermore my ass!) ok, now Im just being weird. IM going to go to a new paragraph now? k?

Im here! here at a new paragraph. Well, lemme start and say that I am proud of myself...for I know that tomorrow at the State Spanish Conference I am gonna BLOW UP THE COMPETITION!! yeah baby! (no doubt about it!) i've practiced enough...enough for ME that is...and I feel confident. I need to let it flow...and whatever happens...happens~~~ Besides that. It shall be mucho fun and besides...we get to act! how awesome! more stage time...and dont let this even scare me a bit. Well, i guess...actually i KNOW that there is one more thing that will make this trip better. hehe! Well, ok...see, now I have to do some explaining here. First off, remember a few posts ago when I talked about liking Mike and all? Well, I mean, I still kinda do but he doesn't know and we're definitely most likely ( i assume) best off as friends for now. I think that I will always like him somwhat...i dont know why, i guess he just has that likeable factor that not everyone has because I know that...well i just know that hes different. Just attracting. Well, i guess i just moved onto the things that are "FINER" in life. lol. Well, yes, the person that im going to refer to is the "finer" thing. Name=u wish u knew. hehe. Anyways. Now that I remember, I think that I really didn't like this kid at all when I first met him, and then from there I think I just liked him less and less and less. For what reason? who knows.? NO1 is born a bigot...so theres nothing to blame it on, i guess i was just being pretty prejudice. Against what? who knows! lol. Besides that, now I have fallen for him because I like him...no, i mean I LIKE HIM. Like extremely. And I feel confident that there is a chance too! *looking for sympathy here!* Well, unfortunately he doesn't know that I like him and I dont know that he likes me, but I dont know if it is idiotic to assume that he does like me and when in reality...*i trail off and....stilll trailing and rambling...back on the right track....NOW* so I am just going to say that maybe I will tell him that I like him, or he'll find out somehow. The norm u know? thats how it always happens. But there is someone in the way i think? or maybe not. I'm not going to speculate though. HOpefully he wont be truly in the way, and if thats what it turns out to be, then if the guy really likes me too, then I suppose it wont matter. Now, this leads me to my next discussion! Mr. Lovely (yes this term is interchangeable, it is no longer Mike's name, but everyone know that he was officially the owner and that he originated it, although I thought of it. *confused*) so, anyways. "BOY" is pretty cool, and he is going to be at the State Spanish Conference with us! how exciting! thats awesome right? and afterwards, he and I are going to this one party for our newspaper staff! so I get to ride in his car, and we'll probably hang out before we go to conference. NOw this is 50% wishful thinking and 50% chance. Im not even going to go there because I dont want to mess with the 'FORCES' lol. I'm just going to wait to see what happpens. not going to really think about it much. My objective is to HAVE FUN!! and seriously do good. Thats all i want. So, yeah. I guess this "boy" could be a nice...i mean a VERY NICE *and hott* plus+++++++++. lol. So thats the news kiddos! Im going to bed now? bybeybe
 
     

(1 hit the high note | sing like mariah)

 
Nostalgic Butterfly   
07:49pm 16/04/2005
 
mood: happy
music: Comedy central
I flapped my wings and went back and read most of the posts from my past 2 years with blurty. Boy i've changed a hell of a lot. If u ever have the time, its worth it to see my FIRST post from 8th grade in may, until now when Im beginning to go into the summer of my juniior year. I am almost totally a new person. I did this because I was thouroughly upset today because I couldn't get out and do anything, but thats no excuse..i can get out and do something by myself. I can bike ride and what not. Today is going to be a special post. Im going to try and put this entire post in spanish. hehe. I need to be more confident about my abilities in spanish, and I need to practice. Critique where necessary. ok.

Pues, esta mañana me desperté a las nueve y media porque tuve que ir a mi clase de actuación. Mi papá suele manejarme a la clase, pero hoy se olvidó. Aunque, generalmente el día ante yo llamo a él. Así que, me levanté de la cama y caminé al baño para ducharme, cepillarme los dientes, y peinarme el pelo. Antes de vestirme, yo desayuno cereal en el sofá usando una toalla mientras mi mamá estaba viendo la tele. Yo Le había llamado a mi papá tres veces, pero no descolgaba el teléfono, así a mi mamá dijo que ella me llevaría cuando mi papá llegó a la puerta. Yo no estaba preparado a salir y tomó diez minutos para irme. Llegué a la clase temprano pero yo esperaba por cinco minutos hasta la clase empezó. La clase fue muy bueno. Lo primero que hicimos era jugamos un juego donde dos personas se pelean con un palo y los demás nos ven hasta que están ellos toca. También, yo practiqué mi personaje con una otra actriz se llama Natalie. ¡La clase terminó a las doce y media pero a mi papá me vino a la una! ¡Qué lastíma! Sin embargo, la directora del OSF esperaba conmigo.
Antes de salir, le pedí a mi padre si me tomaría a la casa de mi amiga, pero él me dijo que era posible que él dirá no. Mi amiga y yo queríamos ir al Universal Studios para un evento llamada Mardi Gras. Ya Quise que yo fuera a Universal por tres semanas pero yo necesité alguien a manejarme a casa. Pues, Mi madre dijo que no me tomará, y mi papá dijo que me traerá a la case después de ir a un "club" con su novia. Cuando le llamé a mi mamá para pedirle si me podría llevar a la casa de mi amiga, otra vez, ella dijo no. ¡Qué horrible! No creo que ellos dijeron no!! Oh pues,. mi papá me llevó a casa, y yo fui a a la computadora (después de comer). Yo suelo comer cuando me enojo porque me siento triste. Yo sé...es muy mal. De todas maneras, yo empezaba escribiendo ésto y mi mamá y tía vinieron a casa con comestibles, por supuesto, tuve que guardarlos. Se habían ido de compras en el supermercado a las diez de la mañana, y vuelven a casa a las dos de la tarde. Después de guardar los comestibles, queríamos ir a un restaurante nuevo cerca de la biblioteca, pero cuando llegamos allí, el menú era pequeño y no había muchos artículos de escoger. Si tuvieramos más dinero, iríamos a un restaurante elegante pero nadie tuvieron mucho dinero. En vez, fuimos a Tijuana Flats. Acutamente, lo encontramos accidentemente. Estábamos buscando un restaurante italiano, cuando manejábamos por allí, de repente nosotros lo descubrimos. Hacía viento, así que no nos sentimos por dentro del restaurante. El menú tenía varios opciones tal como; burritos, tacos, ensaladas de tacos, quesadillas, y muchos más. Yo pedí un plato de quesadillas, mi madre pidió una chimichanga, y mi tía y primito pidieron algo llamada "megajuana" y quesadillas. Una megajuana es un burrito se hace de harina, maíz, pero ne es frito. Por fuera hay, queso, tomates, carne de res, y lechuga. ¡Era el más grande que yo he visto! Las camareras fueron muy simpáticas y ellas nos sirvieron más salsa con, ¿cómo se dice...chips? Por suerte, el restaurante no era lleno de gente y no había ruido. ¡La comida fue sobresaliente! Luego, yo sentía lleno y yo estaba listo a salir. Nos levantamos de las sillas y caminamos al carro. Sugerí que fueramos a una heladería, pero todos no tenían hambre. Yo había traído mi mochila en el carro para hacer mis tareas. Tenía que completar geometría, biología, español, y inglés. Antes de venir a casa, paramos a la casa de mi abuelo por veinte y pico minutos. Mi abuelo vive cuatro cuadras de mi casa y yo habría caminado a casa, pero yo era muy cansado. Por fin, salimos de su casa y fuimos a nuestra casa. La casa estaba sucia, así tuvimos que limpiar los baños, los mostradores, el suelo, los dormitorios, la cocina y el refrigerador. Entonces, me senté a la computadora para terminar ésto de nuevo, y ahora estoy escribiéndolo. Si habríamos llegado más temprano, podría montar en bicicleta. Pero cuando yo había terminado los quehaceres eran las ocho y cuarenta de la noche. Más tarde, voy a ver una película se trata de el desastre "Nueve/Once" en Nuevo York. Pero luego, es necesario que yo termine las tareas.

Pues, eso es mi día. Espero que gozaste. Gracias para leyéndolo.
 
     

(4 hit the high notes | sing like mariah)

 
*sigh*   
01:59pm 16/04/2005
 
mood: pissed off
music: wicked - when i meet thewiard
i thought that i wanted to write but i am tooo stressed to type more
 
     

(sing like mariah)

 
Back off..you dont have to tell me twice~!   
12:41am 16/04/2005
 
mood: restless
music: dishawasher
Ok, I have been notoriously known for have long ass posts. Since it is like 12 in the am and I am hungry and cold, and tired and naked (wow! scary) ...well almost because I am about to take a shower, i think I need to shorten this up a bit. Basically, the week altogether was pretty exciting i think. Well, in my mind at least because certainly viewing the week from the same monotonous spectrum as going to school everday and what I generally do would make things pretty boring, nonetheless....things seem to be pretty darn good. Better than the week before. Wow! my struggle this week was with boys. I was literally a man hater ALL WEEK. Like seriously. Whenever I would see a guy I would just be like, "burn devil child in the depths of hell! grrrr I hate men!!!" Seriously I was flipping out. SO now that my post lesbian phase has subsided, I've just had a few mild man hate outburts and throughout the week I was on a PMS trip. LIke seriously I was PMS and relinquishing my wrath and terror upon all that stared up at me! hehe. (just in case u didnt know. That laught, the "hehe" was intended to be a scooby doo laugh, but I didnt want to type scooby doo laugh, so just go back and read that whole sentence and at the end pretend like the "hehe" is a scooby doo laugh. k? thanks. lol. Apparently I have lost it, all my senses are shot straight to hell right now. I gotta go. bye
 
     

(sing like mariah)

 
Jumbo Shrimp! this doesnt even represent my mood, but in a way it does because I thought of it right   
08:01pm 10/04/2005
 
mood: groggy
music: wheres the damn music!
Generally I kinda post the random things that pop into my head...so maybe this issue (hehe, like this is the freaking the newspaper), I will be more formal. Ok, anyways. Just to mention. I toook like a 2 hour break..I started typing this now, I just came back. Well..I dont want to say that I dont know what I want to post. I know exactly what I want to post, so I guess I should stop acting like I am not going to post what I didnt (but plan on) to post what I really should post. Here is the dilemma. Not quite a dilemma...more like a preoccupation. So, after Greg and I broke up I kinda realized that I still liked someone...and I liked them a lot too. Mike. Yup...remember Mike (aka..Mr.Lovely) lol..remember when i used to post about that? Well yeah. I really like him now...well, still like him because I dont think that I ever stopped liking him. But I just need to know if Mike likes me back, and by the way things look...it looks like theres a pretty slim chance unfortunately because he likes (not likes..loves!) this other guy that I have no idea about. Never met him before. The reasons that I might have for him thinkning that he might like me might be that NOW, its seems that he is paying more attention to me than he used to. Now, I am saying this as I might interpret it for my own sake of picking apart and analyzing reasons for why Mike could also like me like I like him. Now, for the paying more attention part. I mean that...like now he calls me actually, and before that never really used to happen...and he definitely instant messages me more frequently. THats a plausible observation right? But I do understand that this just could (and prolly means) that we're just getting to be better friends. Which is great because I think that Mike is an awesome friend! Now, I am just going to jump into an observation that I think could justify the reason why he may like me also. *but to keep in mind that he just might not even see it that way, and he is just being much more friendlier than he used to be which is great.* lol. Actually, I am not going to post what I just thought about posting because it seems absolutely absurd...its like the only drama thats going on and I am the ONLY one that knows about it. lol. So, lemme just forget the statement that I was planning on posting. Well...I'll just go back to saying that, yeah! I like mike stilll (again) and I dont know what could happen because last time I told him that I liked him it was WAAAAY to late and I get the feeling that I might be pretty late again. But also, I would be really happy for Mike if he gets to go out witht the guy that he really likes because he seems to be falling head over heels for him, and I wouldnt want to insert myself into the middle of something like that. Thats mainly why I havent told him. Because I dont want to just bust out and say, "hey I like you too!!" because then I dont want it to seem like Im just looking for another boyfriend again (which isnt the reason), or because I am just moving around (which is not...im no hoe. lol...dont get enough sex to be a hoe. hehe...well kinda like no sex. anyways...). But I can just only hope that he may feel something for me, and that I am not on my own little planet alone making things up in my head while people look around me and think , "where the hell is this boy going?...how nuts!" sooo...who knows. I guess I just put this out in the open because now anyone can read it...so...if he does read it then I guess he knows although I really wanted to say it in person but then again it may not even matter especially if he doesn't like me back. Nonetheless...for now I will just be happy for Mike because he has found someone that he loves (not likes...lol) and of course...I would rather see my friend happy than confused (but the confused thing is more of my problem because Im the one that is openly saying that I like him)...hmmm, thats *actually* pretty confusing. lol... Well if read this? then i guess u know! so theres the dilemma
 
     

(3 hit the high notes | sing like mariah)

 
Like a cloud full of rain shouldnn't hang in the sky   
06:06pm 08/04/2005
 
mood: bouncy
music: leanne rimes - i need you
Hey guys! It is quite difficult to sing and post at the same time, but I am mastering the skill [apparently]. So yeah lets see whats new. Gosh, I'm sure that I am completely over that boy now (go bran!) lol. Although it was nice. So, from now on I need to stop posting in my journal about this and move on to something different. I just got back from putting in job applications. LIke 4real! I need a job...because there is no way in hell that I am riding the handicapp bus to school for a 3rd year! lol. But...I have found it easier to just fall asleep and not worry about what everyone else is doing. (specifically the...*cough*....not going to go there). Well...I dont know if this means that I move fast (of course not), but I seem to realize that the desire for the person that I have ALWAYS liked hasn't quite been forgotten. And of course this means that I dont move fast because if I am over whatever I am supposed to be over, then it is just fine for me to like someone...even if it is the same person that I have been liking. NOw...the problem is that I need this person to also like me. Well, I am not going to get into this because I dont need people coming to my journal and asking me questions...but at least I can leave enough of my personal information "to get you guys going... keep u coming back for more! (*compliments of Roxie Heart*). : ) lol. Wow. that was pretty darn gay if I say so myself. lol. Hmmmm....WEll, I think I am going to wash some clothes...what a burden. I seem to hate to house chores more and more. I need a sexy mexican slave named Jorge to do (me) and my dirrty work. hehe. Hey, think about it?? would be nice huh? whatever. So yeah! In 3rd period (Health Science - Anatomy and Physiology) on Wednesday, a guest speaker came in and talked to us about a Health Careers Camp for this summer where we get to stay at this place (I forgot where it is), and do like medical stuff for like 2 weeks I think. Here are some of the wonderful things that we could do to wast away the hours of summer nestled in forest cabins. Listen up kids!....ok, 1) Lets all wake up at the break of dawn one day and walk into a laboratory full of dead people that smell DEAD. 2). Then, we may even get to go to OLD TOWN in kissimmee. Wow. I just love the bumper cars. Bumper cars are great because you actually get the chance to drive a 250lb machine full of the lovely explosive fluid (our friend...gasoline) around a track while chasing other explosive vehicles until you finally CRASH! into each other and hope you don't explode. Gosh...it just gets bettter. 3) Now for our last and final trip unfortunately : ( . We're going to go on board an ambulance and wait for some unexpecting lady suffering from a heart attack to call 911 and have a load of high school students come to meet her at her door because they are "curious" about seeing how the paramedics work. So...get out your pen and paper and take notes!....ask questions. While lady is clutching her chest...remember to ask her....Do you think you're gonna die from this? What does it feel like? Would you be offended if I told you that you looked funny like that? OMg...are you dying? Ma'm why aren't you speaking to me? hmmm...tisk tisk tisk...very impolite to collapse when someone is talking to you. So, if you think you might want to spend your summer at the health career camp...dont forget to sign up. lol.
You guys KN-OW that i MUST be sarcastic...or this wouldnt be a fun journal to read. lol. u people better be happy that I am even posting almost daily now too! BUt you need to FREAKING reply!! how many times am I going to have to write this. I want to know what you think (dont do this for nothing...well...ok, kinda i do.lol) W/e! reply anyways! byebye folks.
 
     

(2 hit the high notes | sing like mariah)

 
fuuuuuuuuuck   
04:24pm 06/04/2005
 
mood: distressed
music: if i were listening to music...it might be country
just as a warning. i am typing with one finger because i am too lazy to lift up my other hand and type like a normal person. (therefore, this prevents me from using capitals like i usually do becayse iu would need 2 hands lol). anyways. this past week(since monday) has been extraordinarily crappy. all the expectations that i had for my relationship were shattered when my boyfriend broke up with me. oh well i suppose...too bad for me. (or for him??) lol. i guess i just need to get over it even though i still basically like him. well besides that....i need to get my report card changed because i have grades there that are wrong becuse i have assignments that still need to be made up. whatever to that too. at this moment...i definitely dont want to worry about school so much(although i seem to always be preoccupied by it), because i am anxious for summer to finally start! hmmm...well i generally would have more to say(like the post before this one). but it seems like im at a loss for words. so that means that i am just going to go. ttyl.
 
     

(2 hit the high notes | sing like mariah)

 
further and further down the road of forsaken dreams   
11:58pm 04/04/2005
 
mood: relieved
music: just thinking of songs in my head
Well... I felt really inclined to post a few minutes ago. But I guess I am not as gung-ho about it anymore. Umm...I'll just start off witht this weekend. Well on friday after school ended, just a few hours later (well, not exactly a few, more like a lot) I got picked up by my friend so we could head back to lovely apopka high school for the Relay for Life. NOw...the pros and cons about going back to your school on a friday night at 11pm with no intention of returning. 1)...if your school's bathroom smells and looks very much like a ratcoon's ass...thats generally not a good sign. (so that means using the bathroom is out of the question unless u like the leaves) 2)You expect that you wont sleep much since you're going to be with your friends and such...almost like a sleepover. Except you will be on the very hard ground (the football field that is), in something like a plastic tent. Not so bad huh? Now lets add a fucking hurricane!! Then thats when the danger starts. So...despite the freaking tent blowing over, all your belongings getting wet and a deprivation of sleep...I'd say get packing for the slumber party girls! 3) Please...you can skip this one if u want to. really u can... ok, well I warned you. It is prolly a terrible idea to eat and eat and eat until your tummy line no longer exists and all u can see is a large bulge...and u only weigh 125. Well...if u have eaten over 12 hearty items of food before the evening comes around...you should prolly tell yourself to take a break from the eating binge hug? heheh..no...ohhhh no...not me. I just keep on eating...more..and more...and more....and EVEN more. So, invariably...(like u didnt expect it)...the time comes when u have to expel all that wonderful food that u have consumed throught the day. (i warned you). Since you can use the rat's ass bathroom...and since the woods are on lock-down due to the 200mph winds...I'd say hold your bowels. U can do that right?? Lets say...ummm..how about 6 hours!! WElll..I bet u can imagine what happens when its time to actually go to the bathroom. Also...there is definitely a problem if everything single thing that u ate the day before comes out all at once. (:0) OH yeah! lol. moving on...i dont think I have any more complaints. Basically...the cons are the opposites of the situations described there anyways...not to mention its for a good cause. (so... :) thats pleasing!) UNfortunately that day they (KFC) worked my baby so HARD! so, yeah...even if he planned to come out and support the cancer victims...it was nearly too late..and quite impossible. But i think it would've been so nice if he had came. But its over now. SO...done deal.
Speaking of "HIM". "HIM" as in being my boyfriend (like 2 or 3 weeks now, and I (in my opinon) have been getting along quite well indeed. I dont see him that much in school...but we make up for that lost time by talking on the phone. I have to say that I am very happy with who i am with. Well, I know I can be very dramatic sometimes...and you dont have to tell me! I know that sometimes I can fly right over the deep-end. But...lemme explain first (it is so not that big of a deal). Well...pretty much everyday since the day that we started going out...we've talked on the phone like all the time. Well...this weekend was much different because I expected a call of some sort...or some type of "hey! whats up!" but I didnt get anything. Actually...It was quite difficult to get ahold of my wonderful boy (lol...more like a man...less like a boy). Not to say that I was being ignored (which I''m sure I wasn't), I just thought it was "strange" that we didnt talk either on saturday or on sunday and generally "he" does the calling...although this time I made the efforts to call, and they miserably failed. Now...knowing how hyper and absloutely outrageous (well, not quite outrageous...more like crazy...in a semi-maniac psyhco killer kinda way) I dreamed up all the possibilites of why I might not be able to reach the man of my dreams (lol). BUt after several attempts...and a lose of hope...I guess I just gave up and proceeded to be lonely (lol..ok not lonely...jeez i have a life..just that I didnt share mine with "him" this weekend). NOw...just to give myself the benefit of the doubt, if I happened to stay home all weekend...and not do much of a thing but sit inside and think...think extensively, intensively and way too pensively...it can manage to take a toll on you. So, consequently (or rather inevitably, or a combination of inevitability and consequence), I managed to conjure up the most fantastic (as in totally freaking out the wall crazy) reasons...or rather ideas of why I wasn't able to reah my boyfriend. WAs he kidnapped!!!? did they have my baby in a trunk...and we're they heading down the highway to a cold blue ocean where they would be no chance for survival!?? oh no! dont let it be! Or....could it be anoter someone else?? huh? playing tricks?? sly and sneaky...eh? But it could quite possibly be (with all respect to my wild imagination), a problem. Yeah?? a simple problem like, just feeling kinda upset or angry...or maybe perhaps tired which is more less of a problem than an issue of lethargy. Or maybe even a more serious problem...a family issue..a death (I would hope not!!...o c'mon...it cant be that bad), or maybe a personal issue? Something that cant even be disclosed to me! the man of the man who I admire (who are u kidding..."who i love" lol) So after u rack your brain and go over every single situation and possibility there is, and all you can seem to do is make yourself stressed and your stomach starts knotting and ulcers start forming and migraines start coming and a million hours of hell hits you so hard...and you stop and think...hmmm? HAVE I COMPLETELY OVEREXAGGERATED? like freaking yeah!(?) lol. So, the most simplest solution (which your mind can only achieve once you've popped a few prozacs. lol) Lets put two and two together. I call the cell phone...i text message. NO answer. POSSIBILITY: cell phone was cut off(could be powered off too), dropped in toilet(or some moist substance/liquid), or just lost maybe. Wait...and here is the ice breaker...this is where the genius comes into play. What if my baby just didnt want to talk on the phone. (uh duh brandon!?) jeez. I do the weirdest things. Considering the chicken killers have him slaughtering the rooster off the kellogs cereal boxes to be slathered in hot oil and served on a black plastic container to an eager omnivore....it could've just been that the man was tired...hey! yup(hey?) simply tired...what a concept. lol. So while I sat here and lost my mind and developed ovarian cancer within 24 hours...my baby was prolly sound asleep(hopefully dreaming of me). At least we hope that was the case...and I hope it wasnt something different from that or else we're going to have to go back to the drawing board and the rage(which i hope doesn't surface) will have to rise again. So, baby, if u r reading this(do u even like to be called baby? lol) look what u make me do when I cant have u? lol. Quite sad huh? I bet you didnt know u could do this to a man huh? Well. lol. I guess I know the voodoo that you do, cause its making me cuckoo. heheh...no...super corny. Yah...anyways. So...thats how I spent the better part of my weekend. Turmoiling over my boyfriend. Well...lets just hope that we get to talk soon (and for god's sake! see each other). But hey...in all actuality...everyone needs a break(now theres some reasonable thinking). (I suppose rational was far from reality at my stage in the game). Anyways...(if u r reading of course)...miss ya! love ya! ttyl. lol. I just pray now that u dont think that I am exceptionally weird. I really am...but its all good right? *better be*(uh-oh...theres the black woman in me...I had better go) good night all! and I have to thank you if u read this because all the other bastards that dont bother to click on the bright blue link in my away message that says journal can just go and...i dunno...*karma!!!* haha! use the power of the 'MIND"...or not. Yeah...but somebody for god's sake! please respond to these posts?!? omg! I so do not type this bullshit for nothing. Here is some blurty 101 for DUMMIES. On the link where it says..."sing like mariah"...THAT WHERE U FREAKING CLICK TO POST A COMMENT ABOUT A JOURNAL POSTING!? ok? clear? i hope...because if it is not then u need some serious medicine...and I aint talking about the overthe counter stuff(if u know what I mean...hu hu) ---in case u didnt know...that waslike a chuckle...yeah..anyways. bye.

whew! that was long. (i hope I still have a boyfriend after that one...how weird am I?) G'night folks.
P>S---post!
 
     

(2 hit the high notes | sing like mariah)

 
Always and Forever   
08:39pm 24/03/2005
 
mood: loved
music: rain drops falling on my head...
lol, these post titles are getting mushier and mushier(code word for gayer and gayer) but thats ok because I got bit by the love bug...and its a beautiful specimen. lol...the name is Greg. We went on a date today and it was everything, just magical. lol...so yeah. Thats the post...I guess I could explain it but Im tired...so sorry. But the fact of the matter is that I got to see MAH MAN TODAY! lol...j/k. I do hope that I get to see him soon again, *sweetie*...because I've been thinking about you.
 
     

(sing like mariah)

 
And many more...   
02:22am 23/03/2005
 
mood: ecstatic
music: Beat - my heart
Hey guys. I am so excited!! I have a boyfriend and he is so wonderful. Wow, I just love to know someone that makes me so happy
 
     

(sing like mariah)

 
No one mourns the wicked, do they not??   
02:57pm 26/02/2005
 
music: eleka nahmen nahmen ah tum ah tum eleka nahmen.
Hey, lol. Have u guys ever tried singing your favorite songs with a british accent. hahahah, it is actually amusing...well at least it is to me. Sorry jeepers. Anyways, I am proud dammit! I think I have been posting regularly enough. hmpf! if this is not good enough, then leave....that's right. Leave right now. No actually I am just kidding because if u are reading this now, then you are probably one of the only people who looks at me journal anyways. I mean I have no idea how to advertise an online journal, so anyways, the people that are not reading it are just missing out. Well, lemme tell you about my wonderful day that hasn't even finsihed! yaya.

Ok, well I had my acting class today, and this morning I woke up all groggy like I had some drinks the night before(which I didnt because I dont really drink, unlessu call lemonade hangovers...um drunk?) lol. Ya, but the night before I passed out like a light. Plus before that I had a lot to eat and I had my medicine, I was just all messed up. Honestly, this medicine is screwy, either u will be EXTREMELY excited and hyper, or you'll feel dead and loopy. But yeah, I hope I get better. (also, this is hard to type when u are listening to songs because I want to sing too) lol. so, yeah I crawled out of bed and put my sleepy feet to the ground because my cell phone was screaming (mariah carey ringtone). It was my dad calling and waking me up to get ready so that he could take me to class today. So I was rushing to get ready and I had to get ready and wash my face in the kitchen and such because my silly sink clogged up with nast goop and I dont really wanna touch it until it like explodes or something because then I will feel motovated to do something about it, knowing then that there is an actual problem. So yeah, of course I was late and my dad was blowing up my cell phone because he was waiting, so anyways I made it outside and we drove to the Orlando shakespeare festival for class. I really love class there too, the people are awesome and I am acting(i love it). Although I am a perfectionist and I am always worried about how I am acting, but I am just trying to forget about that, and enjoy it. (although I really want the acting scholarship in the end...that would be phenomenal...so I will work hard) Seriously hard! so yeah, class was awesome, and i worked on my scene with my friend, and thinfgs turned out great. You know, I am such a grammarist because I keep backspacing because I am forgetting to put commas before I put and, or, but, or something like that...because u are supposed to. lol. So yeah, if u see errors, reprimand me. lol. anyways, my daddy comes to pick me up after class is over, and I need to go and get a haircut, so that's where we travel to. The barbershop that I generally go to is nice, I mean for a barbershop's sake. lol. I mean, the people are nice...I hate to say it because I doubt u will know what I am intending by it, but IM saying like they're just typical black people. lol, that sounds racist. But I just hope I never end up in a barbershop, but Im going to stop talking about barbershops and such because that makes me think of my future and all that, and I don't need to rant about that now...im talking about my day. Although, I have certainly been known to rant about many things in the middle of a journal posting, that's what they are for! lol. So anyways, he cut my hair, and I realized that the barber was much faster than the other guy that has cut my hair the last two times, and, yes AND...on top of that, my booty did not tingle. Yes...pause. I know what u are thinking. Yes, I have a sixth sense in my ass. for some reason when people are behind me or for just randomn reasons, my but tends to tingle, and sometimes that alerts me of things that I may be unaware of, or that is a sign to be cautious. I dont know, I dont question is ass authority...I just say thanks butt. So anyways, No ass vibration in the chair this time, which is a welcome relief because sometimes that hurts (ouch). Well, we get to my house and my dad has to change the inner tube on my bike tire, so we have a little fiasco with that. But everything works out...but before I end this...the whole bike change tire thing did not work out like pie...hmmm...at least not in my eyes. Before we started working on the bike my daddy was complaining about having to pee. So he asked me to open up the gate in my backyard so that he would be able to go in the backyard and pee. I was like, no!!! what? are u crazy? Of course he begged and such, so I was like go in the house and pee!! (like regular people do!!. even animals do it...we some{the smart ones}) So yeah, he was like, NO. I was like YES. so, like a mad man, he went into the garage, against my wishes and he pissed in a bottle in the corner and then threw it in the back of his car....of course I was appalled and somewhat disgusted. So anyways, that was basically my day. so far. Hmmm, how interesting huh? already so much has happened..or so I have made u believe by including so many extra details. hehe, u know me...of course, very well then. So, umm, I will post another time. I have like an article to write for the school newspaper and I need to get started. So, see ya'll later. Byebye
 
     

(2 hit the high notes | sing like mariah)