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[18 Jan 2004|01:53pm] i was looking through my purse and i heard angelina scream.. i looked up and we were swerving and sliding on ice.. i held onto the stuff around me.. we hit the gaurd rail on my side.. my face cracked off the windshield.. we spun in a complete circle.. half way through the spinning, my door opened somehow.. we flew out and slid backwards on the interstate for about 50 or 60 feet away from the car. so much happened so fast. we both layed on the road for a few seconds.. if there were cars coming from either direction we would have both been dead. if that guard rail didn't stay up, we would have both been dead. when i got up i didn't even know what had happened i just wanted to find angelina, once i found her we hugged eachother and started to cry i put both of my hands over my face to wipe away the tears. when i pulled my hands away from my face my hands and my arms were drenched with blood. i started looking at my body.. my clothes were ripped and covered in blood i was walking with a limp.. the hair from my head was hanging from my arms, it stuck there from all the blood. i ran in front of a truck and put up my arms. when they stopped, i told them to call an ambulance. i still couldn't feel any pain.. they asked us if we came from that car up ahead. i looked to where they were pointing and the car was so far away and seeing all the damage was when it all started to sink in what had just happened.. i sat down in the grass shaking so hard.. the guy from the truck told us the cops were on their way right now so angelina went back to the car and got rid of the pipes. for your information we were not under the infulence of any substance during the accident.. i don't give a fuck if you don't believe me because most people dont. but we were both completely sober during all of this. it seemed like hours until the ambulance came. i was so fucking cold and they seperated angelina from me.. i just wanted to talk to her and make sure she was okay but i couldn't walk over to where she was. the ambulance finally came.. they put me on a board and in a neck brace then cut off all my clothes. i went into shock in the ambulance. staring at the lights on the ceiling feeling the needles and the blood dripping from my body.. i still couldn't stop shaking.. i still haven't stopped shaking. i didn't feel any pain until the hospital. but it didn't matter to me.. all i wanted to know was where they brought angelina and they wouldn't tell me if she was okay and they wouldn't let me see her.. my mom got caught in a traffic jam that was caused from our accident.. she didn't get there until 2 hours after i got there. i was shaking so hard and all i could do was look straight up at the ceiling. everybody kept on asking me questions but i couldn't move my mouth to respond. the bridge of my nose was smashed downward so i'm going on wednesday to get plates and wires put into my face to rebuild my nose. i have 4 stitches in my forehead, 2 on the backside of my right hand, 3 on the palm of my left hand, four on my left knee and my back is just completely destroyed from sliding on the street for so long going so fast.. so i look like an actual monster and i feel like complete and total shit.. which seems to amuse some of you. i don't get how some people could fucking laugh. i just don't fucking get it.. and the comments that some people make.. what the fuck is with the people in our school? people are laughing at me.. oh and this one i loved 'i liked angelina.' fuck you bitch. i'm sure you know who you are if you're reading this. angelina, kristen, caitlyn, holli, kayla, jeff, jen and chud: you have no idea how happy you have made me before kristen, caitlyn, holli, jen and chud came to see me i wanted to die.. they made me smile for the first time. they made me laugh. they made me forget what i looked like and what i felt like. my flowers are beautiful and i love spunky davis and especially chuddles<3. all the candy and pink lemonade are gone and i loved them too. kayla, i love you so much for talking to me and telling me the truth when everybody else lied. i love you for talking to me and actually knowing what was going on.. and knowing what i felt like. jeff has been calling me like every hour even when he's out making sure that i'm alright and trying to cheer me up.. i still won't let him see me like this which is upsetting him. but he's coming to see me on friday. he's been so amazing. i cannot even express how much love i have for kristen.. she is the best friend that anybody could ask for she's here for me all the time and i love her so much. she tells me that i'm beautiful even when she knows i'm not and she's just such a wonderful person.. i love her so much. i am so happy to still have angelina. you don't even know.. she is so fucking amazing and if i lost her i don't know what i would do.. i love her so much. 23 comments| thoughts

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