Dreamer's Blurty
 
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Below are the 1 most recent journal entries recorded in Dreamer's Blurty:

    Wednesday, April 14th, 2004
    11:05 pm
    First Entry
    Day One: So, I hear about this website from a friend of mine. She says it's a great way to write down what's going on and get some feedback and replies. So, I'm tryin' it out. This is my first entry....I'm new at this so bear with me. So...my name...confusedlibra81...that describes me most of all. I am a libra, 22 yrs.old, and confused about so many things. I can remember a time where I would give anything to be "older", once I hit 21 I thought nothing could be better, a little over a year later I'm stuck in this mode of going to bars, drinking until everyone looks like a potential husband and doing it again the next night. Waking up and going to a job that I am absolutely not happy at and then coming home and thinking about the boy I want to be with....we'll call him...Dante....definitely not his name, but much more Italian and romantic to me. So Dante...he's the only person I can see myself being with on a serious basis. Our so-called relationship has been going on for over two years now. I've known him since I was a little kid, and we have mutual friends. When I am around him everything is perfect, I'm smiling, I just stare at him and love him. When we're not together, it's a totally different story. We hardly talk and when we do, it's useless jabber about ridiculous things. So, everyone in my circle of friends knows how I feel about him and I think it's should be so obvious to him, but I'm getting the impression that he doesn't understand that every time I am with him and around him and look at him I want to rip his clothes off and take him somewhere to be alone. So...I'm trying to work my way in, but it's not exactly the right move to tell him what I really think. See...Dante has this difficult past and for a while he had a hard time letting go of her. Lots of crappy things happened and he got screwed over big time. So, I guess I need to understand that he's going to be very cautious in his next relationship, but I mean 2 years...have I not proved anything...at all...yet?!?!? I don't know what to do about it, and when I'm not around him, I can just blow it off like I can let it go and be done with him. But as soon as he's in my eyesight, I can't resist touching him or trying to find things to say to make him realize I just want to be with him. This sucks! Ok...I'm letting this be it for tonight, my first entry and I've told my life story. Oh well, I'm sure there'll be more to come. Until next time....
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