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Jocelyn C. Thatcher

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ahh randomness [05 Mar 2003|03:30pm]
So... lesse. Um... I had to swim today. YUCK! The pool was dirty, but *shrugs* We had to go off the diving board today..... not hard............normally.... haha so, the diving boards at school are retarted, and they bend back up, and when I dove in, I hit my foot on the board, and now I have a nice scrape on the top of my foot. The rest of it was pretty easy. Water Polo not hard. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful until right before ninth period.

Esh and I we walking down to the cafe. and we always take the long way to go past Mr. Mohap's room. (the teacher I sweat like woah.) and he bought stuff off of me for my choir fundraiser, and I'm sick as hell today, and wasn't paying much attention in the hallways. I guess he was lookin at me as I went by, but I thought he was lookin at someone else, and he says "When do I have to give you that money?" and I didn't register it, and kept walking for like... 10 seconds, and then I come to a dead stop in the middle of the hallway, (Hallways at EAHS are like the LA Highway System during rush hour) and spin around, and just look at him like "durrr" kindda deer in the headlights like. And I was like "Um.... Um..... *looks at Esh* "When is the fundraiser due?"
*ESH* I don't know....?

So I look back at him and I'm like. "Um... next week? I really don't know when it's due."
and he just gave me that to die for smile, with those killer eyes, and was like "Ok, just lemme know when you need the money."
*sigh* <3 he's so pretty....

Anyway... yea... that's my randomness for the day.
Cast a Spell

[05 Mar 2003|03:19pm]
Total Bitch.    Youuse others to do your dirty work. Only when you absolutely have to, you taint your hands. That's not very often. You need to calm down...a LOT. People aren't there
TRUE BITCH

You have great balance and know when it is a good
time to bitch and when not to. You get the
respect you deserve and you know it! You don't
over-do the bitchyness. Go you!


(results contain pictures) What type of bitch are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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ahh choir. [04 Mar 2003|10:43pm]
I <3 choir. We had our first Treble and Chambers rehearsal in a long time. It felt good to be there again. Miss Price (treble choir Director) is so cute. She says the cutest things. <3 and Desh (Chambers) is special. he's just amusing. We're singing some coo' songs in Treble and, we are singing one good one in chambers. We don't have a processional yet... but we will... :-D

<3 Manda
Cast a Spell

Highschool Drama... [02 Mar 2003|10:01pm]
I'm soooooo tired of high school drama. It needs to be June 20th right now. Friends aren't supposed to date friends ex's espically if they are good friends, and if the other friend has feelings. But, I don't know. I'm staying out of it. Maybe distance my self from all of it. I don't want to be in the middle of all this my senior year. I have a lot o' crap in my own life to deal with. And I'm sucky with advice. *dies*
5 Spells Cast| Cast a Spell

ohhh I'm excited. [02 Mar 2003|08:07pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]
[ music | Coyotes Game ]

Brian boucher (my fav. hockey player) Is playin for the yotes tonight. Too bad they are losin 5-1. *shrugs* not his fault the team sucks....

Cast a Spell

Alls well, that ends well... right? [02 Mar 2003|01:29am]
Tonight was the second night of our production of Singin in the Rain. *I* did my job right. I played all my movies on cue, david just fucked up the sound. Stupid bastard. I hate his guts. But besides that, It went well. Mike, Allie, Nikki, and Jordan were really good. Jordan almost looks sexy on stage. *ALMOST* but then I remember his non-don-ness, and well, he's not.

Um... I've decided that there are only two dateable guys in cast/pit/crew. Mike Wayant, and Ryan Houser. Mike plays Cosmo, and he's sucha cutie... his mic broke and he was so worried, and we had to calm him down. And he plays Cosmo pretty well. And Ryan, is just.... Ryan. No words for it. Now, it's not like I like them, cause I don't. They just go on my list of dateable guys.

Anyway. After the play, I ran home and got my cell phone, and went to Joe Fortunato's post party. I didn't think I'd have fun, but I did. I chilled with everyone from cast, cause most crew didn't go. We were just chillin around Joe's house. Sometimes he's an asshole, and sometimes, he's not. Tonight was one of the nights where he wasn't. I don't have to hate play tonight. I all went pretty well. *smiles*
2 Spells Cast| Cast a Spell

What else could go WRONG? [28 Feb 2003|11:32pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

OMG... Tonight was the OPENING NIGHT of our production of Singin in the Rain. Um... It FUCKING blew. We counted how many things went wrong and were up to 13. I'll list some of them for you.

1. The $5000 projector got knocked off and fell forty feet.
2. We had to stop the show.
3. the fog went into the pit in stead of on-stage.
4. The guy that was running the projector with me, messed up all the movies.
5. the LIGHT BOARD crapped out.
6. Pillows from the couch flew INTO the pit.
7. Jordan (Don:aka Gene Kelly) landed ON the piano.
8.The house curtian broke.
9. Brett got fired.
10. David gave me the wrong cue, and the movie got messed up
11. Mics got lost
12. The one movie got rewound too far, and we had to play something different at the beginning.
13. Fly's kept missing their cues and couldn't change the scenes on time.

So uh... Yea. I'm going to take a bath with my book and a loaded nine millimeter.

Cast a Spell

A heavy girls guide [24 Feb 2003|11:28am]
[ mood | chipper ]

By Kerry Daniels

Managing a big ego when you're a big gal is no small task. Speaking as a seasoned Heavy Girl, I know how fat chicks can be sentenced to lives of social invisibility in this culture. Taking up space has become a political act when you're female and we are all expected to view our bodies through society's skinny lens.

Early in my chubby life, I become aware that size-ism was simply part of the deal. Learning how to manage this evil "ism" is central to whether I succeed or fail at most things. I work hard at resisting this all-pervasive bias and don't cave in to narrow social clichés. I've proven that being a groovy Heavy Girl can be a choice.

My first recollection of feeling I was treated differently because of size was around age 7. Before that I was oblivious. Chubbiness — a deadly sin? I was a healthy, proud and happy little girl. Beautiful and tiny, my mother excelled at keeping my ego strong. My family's gene pool had manifested itself in a diverse way. The generational expression of beauty was like a human collage — artful and aesthetically appealing, with elements of whimsy and random beauty. We had many successful big folks.

Heavy Girls everywhere remember the turning point I call "Heavy Girl initiation." I was abruptly introduced to the world of "skinny-centrism." Memories of playing jump rope during recess or after school, while other kids dissed me for being a bit rounder, float around in my head. Another fairly universal ritual is giving the unassuming fat girl a wedgie while announcing to her friends that she will be destined to a life of goofiness because of her big butt.

No matter how you slice it, this event marks the end of innocence for a Heavy Girl. But these unpleasant experiences are also opportunities. It's our job to use our special powers to establish Heavy Girl turf. For it is the wit and wisdom of the Heavy Girl that will put her on the map as a nouveau-hipster. Remarking on the irony of your opponent's comments in light of their chronic impetigo and flood pants is an effective strategy. IQ disses never fall out of fashion. Or you can cite plump historical figures who changed the world: Minoan female warriors, Winston Churchill. Even Marilyn Monroe by today's standards was a Heavy Girl.

Having lots of time in '70s suburbia I read/watched tons of cool stuff and figured out how to forge ahead. Having big boobs and a bit of a gut did not impede my social development. Being cute with freckles and really bright didn't hurt. Later, I realized I was pretty and downright smart. A good mind is the best asset any chick — heavy or not — can hold.

I needed to be taken seriously, but refused to adopt dominant culture's script for Heavy Girls. This was hard for others to understand. "You'd be so much prettier if you would lose a few pounds, dear." After years of this nonsense, people simply knocked it off. It was "my body" and if it was mine it had to be cool. A deep connection to my femininity was also key. I reveled in being womanly and would not apologize for it.

When I entered puberty, I refused to be a goofy fat girl. I was athletic and this definitely defied the myth of the physically unfit chubette. All the conventionally beautiful girls bragged about their crushes on boys and I, too, was determined to slow dance to Stairway to Heaven in the school gym. I needed to safeguard myself against high school years wrought with frustration and sexual-outsider status. My angle was this: find a guy who is super-cute, but in some way equally as disenfranchised by the codified how-tos of popularity in the suburbs.

Bingo — my first gay boyfriend! He was the quintessential sissy, but we shared attitude, quirky good looks and the need for hard-core adolescent intimacy. He was funny, smart, hated the world that punished us for being "real," and was like having a lover and a cool girlfriend all in one. While other Heavy Girls might have had trouble accessing tacky 1970s fashions, I had my femmy-hunk working for me. He would shop until he found the funkiest stuff that fit me. I was a suburban star. Who else had their own personal valet? My hybrid image was comprised of a certain Valley of the Dolls sensibility combined with titbits he had picked up from Charlie's Angels. I am grateful to this unlikely stud for my entrée into style, but inevitably he discovered the world of beautiful boys and was never to be seen again.

This is not a sad ending. He gave me loads of confidence and the chutzpah I needed to enter my adult years with a bang. My identity as a Heavy Girl had been firmly established. Mind you, I had been living in a utopia of sorts and now had to re-enter the world of singlehood. I also didn't want to become a career fag hag, so where to look for healthy male attention in a fat-phobic society became my mission. I dated lots and slowly realized that while North American guys are scared of Heavy Girls, there are thousands of beautiful, gentle guys from other wonderful places who define beauty on my terms — big and curvy. Gradually, I found myself almost exclusively dating men from cultures that revere large women, which includes most of the Middle East, vast stretches of Africa and many Central and South American countries — not to mention Jamaica and Trinidad.

Most recently, I strutted my stuff in North Africa. Instead of being ridiculed for carrying extra beef in my fanny pack, I was incredibly aware of how desirable I was to the array of eligible men in my midst. It was like 24-hour Heavy Girl therapy. As I made my way through the narrow and ancient streets of Marrakech, I could practically hear the whispers: Who is that lovely, big girl? Who will be the lucky man to win her heart? Women asked me to marry their sons after seeing me in the public baths, intrigued by my round, pretty body. Men cried at my feet, pleading with me to marry them.

Was I on Candid Camera? Nope, I was enjoying a privilege not often afforded Heavy Girls in North America. I was seeing confident, full-bodied women everywhere. They reinforced what I'd known for years: Beauty comes in all sizes. Eventually my travels landed me in the arms of an extremely handsome and kind Moroccan man. His love of my body made me realize that you shouldn't ever settle for second best — especially when you are a Heavy Girl. I fly off to marry him soon and hope we live happily ever after. Inshallah!

My journey has been remarkable. I'd argue that without these extra pounds I wouldn't have half the opportunity and excitement. This supersonic body forced me to make a choice early on — use it to your advantage or let it consume you. Had I been slim, my life might have been easier, but a whole lot duller. I'm in the unique position of having to use my mind, body and soul creatively to be the best I can be. And I just keep doing it!


Kerry Daniels, aka Heavy Girl, is the editor of Heavy Girl Press in Toronto.

Cast a Spell

ahh, and so it goes in the live of Manda [24 Feb 2003|12:57am]
[ mood | blah ]

Mum and I fought again this weekend... but what else is knew. It was kindda worse this time, and I woke up this morning w/ a letter from her. This is what it said.

Letter from Mum )

1.I paid her back for the car.
2. A few of my friends parents pay for their insurance and gas
3. It's not like I haven't been trying to get a job. I have orientation at Mcdonalds tomorrow, A place I vowed to never work.
4. I can't have a life because I have to run Justin every where. I can't ever go anywhere that isn't Play or choir related, because Justin needs to go somewhere or do something.
5. There were a few of my brothers clothes around (the 15 year old) and my dishes weren't done (which my brother was supposed to do, because he owes me.)
6. I don't go in the laundry room. I'm not psysic I don't know when Laundry gets taken in there. I do it when I see it, or know about it.
7. I called her a Bitch because she told me that I couldn't use the comptuer to type up papers that I needed for school so I wouldn't fail.

Cast a Spell

Ohh.. newbie. [23 Feb 2003|10:57pm]
[ mood | calm ]

*poke* hey. I'ma newbie here... everyone should give me some love and add me as a friend!

8 Spells Cast| Cast a Spell

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