Promote Your Blurty Community Here

3ducker1culter4 @ 4:14am: 1. Caitlin is the lightest sleeper EVER. The carbon monoxide detector's batteries were dying, and it was beeping completely inconsistently, not enough to wake me up if I had been asleep. She's been asleep for probably 5 hours at this point and it woke her up and bothered her enough to come get me to turn it off.
2. It is not making me productive to sit here and not do my homework, but stay up. And yet, I cannot allow myself to sleep with all of this work to do. I hate myself so much.
3. I'm hallucinating. Not constantly, but I've been seeing things. I saw a person in fast forward in my apartment yesterday while I was home alone. It scared me shitless for half a second until it disappeared. I am not going to tell my doctors this.
4. I found out on Friday that I'm currently deficient in vitamin B12. Some side effects of this are fatigue (yes) and decreased capacity for mental work. I am generally a slacker, but my focus has been GONE for the past two months or so. I have to get a shot to address the deficiency ASAP. I hope it kicks in dumb fast and helps me with the whole energy thing. If my focus came back, that would be amazing, but I don't know how much I'll buy that it's a result of this thing. Chemistry is weird, but so am I.
5. I need to get a present for White Elephant, which is in 12 hours. I can't care enough to go somewhere and figure out a good $5 present.
6. The PAC party was today. Marissa is so fucking submissive to me it's disgusting. Shit like that drives me crazy, because if even she acknowledges that I know more of WTF is going on that she does, then I should be in charge, not her. Gah gah gah.
7. Had lunch with Kasey. Love.
8. My brain is melted. Sorry.

3ducker1culter4 @ 3:12am: things that confuse me include:
People who are so damaged by one relationship that they are no longer willing to date an entire gender. I have met two in college and I cannt say I get it at all.

3ducker1culter4 @ 11:16pm: The last fucking thing I need to be told is that Mike has been continuously upgrading all semester. Fuck you, Kirsten. My self esteem is low enough without you trampling on it saying he's with such hotter girls now.

3ducker1culter4 @ 3:59pm: Last night, my laptop died. It smelled like burning and was kind of traumatic. There's one week left of classes. I called my mom and freaked out, and she told me to go buy a Macbook. So I did. I'm on the dark side now, but you've never heard of a Mac dying on someone in the last week of the semester, have you? Me neither.

3ducker1culter4 @ 4:16am: The stuff I ordered from American Eagle last week got here yesterday. The underwear is wonderfully adorable, the jacket is comfy although a bit big, the skirt is cute but a bit too reminiscent of uniforms (not my own, as it's blue) due to being long on my short self, and I like the bag a lot although it intimidates me. Money well spent, I'd say.

3ducker1culter4 @ 3:56am: So much work to do to pass this semester:
-third Context project. I'm the costume designer. Not bad, just time consuming. I need at least 6 renderings, 4 collages, a 30 minute group presentation, and papers about all of them; also need to catch up on reading responses: probably about 6 of those, plus 1 more due Tuesday).
-two late Catholic fiction papers (~5 pages each).
-edit/add to my independent study paper (currently 7 pages, due Wednesday).
-catch up on religion papers (probably about 7 one page BS things...).
-create a portfolio by the 12^th.
-catch up on training the speaking voice papers: 2 self evaluations, 1 analysis of Wlliam Faulkner reading, 1 analysis of Alex Trebek speaking, 1 analysis of As You Like It, apparently some kind of journal. All of the papers other than the journal only have to be like a page long, but it's just the idea of them that stresses me out. They're also all really late.
-two things from last semester (**hides face**) that I've been given permission to complete and get grades changed (one paper and three short creative responses to readings).

I will do it all. I will. I will not take any incompletes this semester. I will graduate this year. I have to.

3ducker1culter4 @ 6:01am: Note to self: remember to call Dr. Tobak on Friday.

3ducker1culter4 @ 5:51am: To my dear computer charger,
I need you to remain functional for two and a half more weeks. If you would like to crap out for good once it's Christmas break and I have all of my work done (please note both), by all means, go ahead. I can solve that problem. I cannot, however, make it through this semester without access to this very hard drive. Do not fail me, or I will boil you.
Cautiously yours,
Emily

3ducker1culter4 @ 5:12am: Page count for this week: only 15. I need way more than that, STAT! However, I like sleep way too much.

If I put the paper I wrote today in Courier New (aka the best cheating font), it's 10 pages. Of course, I don't have a length requirement, so I submitted it at a respectable 7 in Times New Roman. That's without a whole two sections though, so it may hit 10 legitimately.

3ducker1culter4 @ 4:31am: One of Seb's friends hit on me at his birthday party. He was trying to get me to talk to him about movies because I'm a theatre major. Fail. I am so not a movie person. I was extremely uncomfortable the entire time we were talking, which was probably like 20 minutes. When he asked if I was going to the second bar, I told him I had to catch the last train home (despite it only being around 12:40 at that point, I knew circumstances would lead to it taking forever to get to the 1:53 train. I was right.) and he whined and begged, saying "the one time I meet a girl I can talk to about films and the arts and stuff and you're not coming?" I guess it was nice, in a weird way. I'm just not that girl.

3ducker1culter4 @ 4:25am: Trying my damnedest to get my Christmas shopping finished before I go home for break on the 18th. I've got school done, my dad is done (maybe one more thing), Q and Dave are halfway done, Xavier could be done but who knows if I'll stick to that, and my grandfather done. I don't have anything for my mom, Jon, Tara, or my step-grandma. We also haven't assigned cousins yet. I need to get something for White Elephant next Monday. I don't think I'm in bad shape, though, considering it's just December 1^st now.

3ducker1culter4 @ 3:27am: I don't do well with going in between the world of mommy and daddy and privilege and school, obligations and deadlines. I can function in them separately, but cannot balance them.

I need Christmas break NOW.

3ducker1culter4 @ 3:33am: Oh AND. They're pretty sure that Q is having a little girl. Yay niece!

...By the way, my sister in law is preggers, for those not in the know. Due in May.

3ducker1culter4 @ 3:32am: Q's mom and her niece, Tatiana apparently pray for me to be healthy every night. I'm not sure how to respond to that, although I suppose it's very nice. Tati is so sick herself, and she's so small. She can eat even fewer things than I can, but she seems to be doing well. She's a great little girl. I'm glad dessert was her birthday party today, and that she got to get away from her little brothers for the week.

3ducker1culter4 @ 3:05am: A few current things:
-Anu got engaged! That's so fucking crazy, but I'm happy for her.
-We had a pinata at Thanksgiving, because it was Tatiana's birthday. It was spectacular.
-I love House.
-I just got probably half of my Christmas shopping done on the internet.
-I think I'm starting to flare. My gastrointerologist is going to put me on steroids in a few weeks if I don't improve. She also mentioned giving me "something for stress." Um, ativan? Wtf is for just "stress" and not a host of other mental shit?
-I found a boy on campus who I would have revenge sex with, and I talked to him. A lot of people have formulated plans, as the only guy on campus I've ever expressed any interest in before this was Mike. Nadia's on the case, and so is Marissa. Kind of weird. He's a swimmer and has the hottest body I've seen in person since David Walters (and might even give him a run for his money), plus a mohawk. He was in the talent show last weekend, doing a stick spinning thing to crazy metal. It would be my goal to have sex with him and then somehow walk by Mike with him shirtless. Right.
-According to my gastrointerologist, my kidneys still hurt. Ugh.
-I'm hanging out more at school than I have since being single, and it's helping my overall mood, even if others can't see it. I'm still heartsick and missing, but it's nice to have a semblance of a social life. Some days, of course, it doesn't feel like I do, but right now I'm not in that mood. I dunno.
-Tara undiplomatically abstained from Thanksgiving with us and Dave's in-laws today. It's petty and not classy. She then included Dave and myself in her mass "happy thanksgiving to you and your families!" text. We were unamused.

3ducker1culter4 @ 2:07am: Hm. American Eagle impulse buy. 7/$25 underwear + 25% off everything= me down some moneys. Whatever though. I got a bag that's somewhat nicer than my bookbag I carry everywhere, and less obnoxious than my bright yellow messenger bag I use occasionally. I also got a skirt (um, what?) just because it was on crazy clearance, in my size, and interested me. Andd I got myself a small warm jacket because I'm apparently building my jacket collection.
I think I have a problem.

3ducker1culter4 @ 1:41am: I somehow blanked on taking my meds for 24 hours. My stomach is killing me.

3ducker1culter4 @ 1:22am: Is it passive aggressive to leave a list of what foods make me really sick up on my fridge, in the hope that my parents will stop constantly offering them to me?