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[28 Feb 2011|12:04am] |
Just don't fall recklessly headlessly in love with me
Cos it's gonna be...
a heartbreak,
blissfully painful in insanity
If we agree,
you can hang with me
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[21 Feb 2011|11:29pm] |
Mondays suck a lot. Usually.
But then iTunes let me download Bayside's new album before midnight when it was to be released after midnight...hooray. So here's to a badass soundtrack for Tuesday, may it be a much better day.
Oh yea, boys. Ugh. They're so dramatic.
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[14 Feb 2011|11:30pm] |
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music |
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Sick, Sick, Sick - Bayside |
] |
Happy Valentine's Day!
Best Valentine's gift. My iPhone.
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[01 Feb 2011|07:48pm] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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music |
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Cold - "Wicked World" |
] |
Fucking crazy.
This day is shaping up so well. On top of getting to leave work four hours early AND getting paid for it due to inclement weather, I'm currently listening to a new song by my favorite band who had previously broken up. So now back together and making more great music. <3 Cold.
Awesome.
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[30 Jan 2011|10:19pm] |
Isn't it funny to think about things from years ago...and then come back to them. Before yesterday, the last time I updated this journal was 2008. Wow, that was a long friggin' time ago.
And so much has changed since then. =]
Funny.
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[30 Jan 2011|03:57am] |
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Zach just told me I looked like my supervisor from work.... What an asshat.
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[17 Nov 2008|10:26am] |
Two years without a post. Ohmigawd.
I'm so awesome.
Why do I still keep this shit?
**** you ***** and *******. You're both losers and my life is better without you.
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| Ha! It took me over a year to post something here.... |
[11 Dec 2006|09:37pm] |
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music |
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Brand New - "Sowing Season" |
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[24 Nov 2005|03:49am] |
Happily ever after.
Fuck that.
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| If you lose a moment, you might lose a lot |
[12 Oct 2005|07:17pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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10 Years - "Fault Line" |
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So, someone finds my xanga terribly exciting.... I was bored one day and set up a site meter, and there are people that spend tons of time on my page. WTF?
Air and I are going to see NIN tomorrow night...excitement. Marshall may be going along.
It's not that I dislike him, it's just the way things are in my life right now...I don't want to have to deal with them being all cutesy. It'll make me physically ill.
Hopefully it'll just be a night out...but, things never really work out how I'd hope.
I'm complaining. Shut the fuck up.
Anyhow, insomnia is a bitch. I've never had this much difficulty sleeping. It's been going on two weeks maybe.... Monday was the worst, I slept a total of 35 minutes in nearly 30 hours. The way I've been feeling, I figured I was dealing with some symptoms of depression, as I think I've had those before. Nothing serious, but I almost had myself convinced to go see a psychiatrist/counselor yesterday. (With my insurance at the hospital, we can use the counseling services so many times without cost) But, then I talked myself out of it. I've gotten myself through this before, with a little scream therapy courtesy of Linkin Park. Altho, an un-biased party would probably help to talk at, someone who doesn't know me, the situations I'm dealing with and so on.
My job is about to cause alcoholism. "Hi. My name is Nicky and I'm an recovering retard, I mean...alcoholic." *bows* Peach schnapps anyone?
What is wrong with me?
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[18 Jul 2005|08:27am] |
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music |
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Cold - "Happens All The Time" |
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Well, there are some qualities that I don't like.... But, there's something vaguely attractive about a set of plugs and the I-really-need-a-haircut haircut. Poor emo boy.
Either way...it doesn't matter.
It was a pleasure to've met you, Brandon AND RJ. I'll do as you asked Brandon.... Is it September yet? ;)
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| Swimming through the ashes of another life. |
[20 Jun 2005|09:10am] |
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| a rant from weeks past.... |
[01 May 2005|09:57pm] |
I hate you! I HATE YOU!
I hate that everyone wants simplicity and CONVENIENCE!
I want my best friend...and no one is patient. No one can stand the thought of waiting for more than their attention span will allow.
Ever heard the expression "good things come to those who wait"? Most people seem to have let that saying slip past them, or perhaps they're too shallow, pessimistic and impatient to believe that...? Who knows? Who cares?
Those who wait patiently for what they feel they deserve will sit and wait for what never comes because everyone else continues on in their need for immediate fulfillment, never caring what happens to those CARING, PATIENT few.
Fuck it, I'm so tired of investing time on narcissitic assholes. Take your conceit and your negativity and get as far away from me as possible. I hate you. Fuck your convenient and disposable lives. Fuck you.
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[13 Mar 2005|09:37am] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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music |
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Kelly Clarkson - "Since U Been Gone" |
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Shame on me, I suppose you're thinking that...right?
But, oh well.
It's hard to admit when I'm wrong. But, somehow at this very moment I'm almost glad I was wrong about this. And, at the same time it absolutely breaks my heart.
...there are too many thoughts, emotions, and words running through my mind right now to even begin to try and capture them, and relay them into this useless space. Not that you'd even read this and try to comprehend the pain I'm in. You wouldn't understand in the slighest even if you tried. I don't know why I'm continually wasting my time and thought on you....
I will break myself of you.
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[01 Mar 2005|09:46pm] |
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*THE PERFECT GUY*
1. hair color: any
2. eye color: any
3. height: preferably taller than me
4. six pack: nah
5. long or short hair: I like both...
6. glasses: sure, altho there are some I might have an issue with ;)
7. piercings: I'm totally all right with piercings
8. scars: we all have em
9. eyebrows: hopefully there are two, yes
10. big butt or little: something to hold on to ;)
11. chest hair: I can do without...
12. buff or skinny: either
13. straight teeth, gap: either
14. funny or serious: both
15. party or stay at home: both
16. should he cook or bake: cook
17. should he have a best friend: that'd be good
18. should he have a lotta girlfriends: nah
19. outgoing or shy: a lil of both
20. sarcastic or sincere: both
21. should he love his mother: yes, especially if she likes me ;)
22. should he watch chick flicks: once in a while
23. would he be a smoker: no
24. would he drink: not often if at all
25. would he swear: I don't know how he wouldn't
26. would he play with your hair: ahuh *nods*
27. one or more girls at a time: one please
28. would he pay for dates: sometimes
29. does he kiss on the first date: perhaps
30. where would you go to dinner: *shrugs*
31. would he bring you flowers: that'd be nice, but I'm more likely to bring him flowers
32. would he lay under the stars with you: I'd like that, absolutely
33. would he write poetry about you: maybe...we'll see
34. would he call you hunny, sweetie, or baby: yep
35. would he hang out with you and YOUR friends: yep
36. would you hang out with him and HIS friends: ahuh, if they want...yes
37. will he walk you to the door at the end: yes
38. holding hands: absolutely
39. soccer: sure, not necessary however
40. baseball: see answer for 39
41. basketball: 39
42. football: 39
43. water polo: 39
44. surf: 39
45. skateboard: 39
46. snowboard: 39
47. sing: I'd like that...
48. play guitar: *nods* I'm good with that
49. play piano: 39
50. play drums: *nods* um, definitely a plus!
51. clean his room: once in a while, please?
52. paint, draw, sculpt: I'm ok with any
53. writes his own music: eh, either way
54. use the word dude: no...I use it enough on my own
55. use the word tight: hopefully not
56. would he watch the sun rise with you: perhaps
57. what kind of car does he drive: something GM... *closes eyes and crosses fingers*
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| I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well |
[30 Jan 2005|03:34pm] |
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mood |
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alone... |
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music |
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Dashboard Confessional - "Vindicated" |
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In the past few months, I've noticed how everything reminds me of something. Not absolutely everything, but the coincedental connection between most things floors me. At first I thought it was just ironic. Now I'm pretty convinced that it's the most suggestive way to get me to really pay attention to all that's going through my mind. Especially because I'm not one for subtlety, and well...you should know this.
I could go on and on about all the little things that somehow subconsciously seem to indicate something to me...but it'd be tedious for me, and more than likely annoying to try to read through.
But today, my mom and I were out. We didn't travel far, but we went out to lunch as a family...Lyle and Nathan met up with us in Blue River. It was so consuming. I hardly said a word on the short drive there, during the meal, or on the journey home. I couldn't explain the thoughts going through my mind. All I could think of was the same thing. How it would and does affect every aspect of my life, and how I couldn't dare let my life go on much longer without it.
The time to take action is near.
And, you all know what I mean.
Oh, and I'd also like to send a big "fuck you" out to the people at ----- for being a bunch of slutty whores today. My neurotic need to post my personal thoughts and feelings on a webpage are beyond me...but I blame ----- right now for this agitated feeling I have. Gah!
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[01 Jan 2005|05:22am] |
Fun loving, childish, innocent and pure
You are a sprite of the Air: Fun loving and
childish your naive nature only enhances how
truly cute you are! You may come off as too
childish but only because your not burdened
with all the rules and regulations of
adulthood. You are carefree most of the time
spending your days playing tag or naming all
the clouds you see in the sky. You are
generally kind to everyone because you have
lots of love and happiness to share! Making
friends comes easy because they strive for the
innocence you possess but be careful, being as
nice and kind hearted as you are people will
try to manipulate your nature if they have not
already. Don't ever let anyone mold you to
their standards although I doubt anyone could.
.::=What type of Mythical Sprite are you?=::. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by Quizilla
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[24 Dec 2004|11:07pm] |
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I look dreadful sans eyeliner.
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[27 Nov 2004|04:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
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sad |
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music |
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Gavin DeGraw - "I Don't Want To Be" |
] |
Em, well....
So, things are odd.
I am...not...sure...what I'm thinking or saying.
I ought to go home.... My job is so mundane...and redundant...and I hate it.... Gah!
Yes.
Oh, why?
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| Why am I still a mess about this? |
[20 Nov 2004|11:32am] |
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mood |
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sad |
] |
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music |
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Usher - "U Got It Bad" |
] |
You got, you got it bad
When you're on the phone
Hang up and then you call right back
You got, you got it bad
If you miss a day without your friend
Your whole life's off track
You know you got it bad when you're stuck in the house
You don't wanna have fun
It's all you think about
You got it bad when you're out with someone
But you keep on thinkin' bout somebody else
You got it bad
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