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[21 Aug 2004|01:00pm] |
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yo yo yo! I move out in 2 weeks time! Puttin all my stuff in uni flat next sunday n then movin in week after when i quit my job. Soooo can't wait! Gotta buy kitchen utensils n stuff for lounge n my bedroom n me n the 5 friends am movin with will be sortin it all out this week to see who has what. Can't believe i leave home in 2 weeks! Been sortin stuff out this week n got lots more to do :-)
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[24 Jul 2004|08:40pm] |
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Seen mike few times in recently n we've always had good time and for once i am keepin it cool n he isnt gettin anythin! Haha! Hopefully see him this week, i love spendin time with him. Work is going well. Everythin is cool with friends except one who is being an arse. I wudnt bother with him only hes movin in with us next september coz hes a mates brother so its difficult. Gonna go watch big brother now, chillin alone on a satuday night!
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[24 Jun 2004|11:26am] |
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Literally hours after my last post sayin Mike hadnt been in contact he sent me a huuuge email explainin everythin n we started talkin again! He'd been through a lot and although i was pretty pissed at him for not even a text message durin that time i as usual forgave him! We went to see Usher last night in concert and it was one of the best nights ever! Usher was absolutely fantastic, he sung and danced sooo well and the show was soo lively! Me n Mike had great time together, we talked about all sorts n he was windin me up in a playful way as he always used to! I just had a fantastic time, seein Usher and Mike in the one night was simply amazing! Mike quite clearly only wants friendship coz there was nothing to make me think otherwise, which is quite hard coz hes just so damn lovely n cute n i'd give anythin to go back to when we we're together. But am happy we are friends n am gonna try n play it cool for once!
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[21 Jun 2004|11:50pm] |
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I should be so excited, its the Usher concert the day after 2moro which i bought the tickets for months ago. But i can't get excited a) coz its really awkward me missin a night trainin in new job to go and b) mike hasnt been in contact in 8 weeks. I rang his house last week expectin him back from uni but it turns out hes in Amsterdam for a lil holiday. Don't know if hes back yet but i can't ring his house again, they'll think am a scary ex! I've text him 6 times in last 8 weeks and rung him loads but no replies. I really wanted to go see Usher with him coz we both love his songs but now looks like i wont be... :-( Wish i knew what i'd done, hes actually not talkin to anyone of his old group of friends noone has heard anythin. Am supposed to be more than a friend though. I just don't know..............
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[10 Jun 2004|02:07pm] |
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Just got my results for first year of uni and i passed all my modules! Soo pleased! No resits to do thank god. Celebrate this weekend me thinks!
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[04 Jun 2004|07:06pm] |
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I accidently rang Mikes house instead of his uni flat - next to each other in phone dammit - n his dad answered n i asked how mike is n he sed yeh hes good! Mike has ignored texts emails and phone calls for 5 weeks now n i was really worried somethin was wrong with him so am soo glad he is ok but confused over why he isnt talkin to me when we had a good day when i visited 6 weeks ago. At least i know now n can stop worryin hes ill or hurt. So gonna be over him very very soon!
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[31 May 2004|03:02pm] |
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Am so bored! Watchin a film but feel so inactive! It was my sisters birthday on friday so that was nice busy day with family here. Also friday was last friends episode which was great! Got the job i tried out for but don't start for another 2 weeks. Had good night out on saturday in town, lots were out n we had great time. No word from michael at all, hope nothing is wrong with him but i can't find out coz he doesnt answer his phone or texts :-( Off to finish watchin Corrina Corrina!
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[19 May 2004|06:20pm] |
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Finished uni exams yesterday so am free now for the summer! Exams didnt seem to go that well so dreadin the results day in june or july. Think i'll go shoppin one day this week spend rest of student loan, got friends comin round fri night and saturday night is unis last club night which am goin to so this week should be good. Got interview for a job next tuesday so fingers crossed. I guess most things r pretty good now n i should be happy. Only problem is Mike, still hasnt been in contact or replied to any texts or phone calls. Am tryin not to think about him n us, so thats enough said about that!
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[08 May 2004|08:28pm] |
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I dont know how i feel. Ive had my first exam n it went really well so am dead pleased about that but the rest of my exams r gonna b so hard n i cant concentrate enough for serious revision. Spent last night hanging out with mates watchin friends (4th to last ever here in UK!) n zoolander dvd so that was cool but eternally n always am thinkin of Mike. I sent him a letter tellin him i loved him but got no reply, he went away to Ireland last weekend n havnt heard from him since. This is so frustratin coz altho i was startin to like him a bit again since we made up in march, last few weeks ive been thinkin about him always n i love him. On the up side my exams finish in bout 10 days and on goes the long summer! Gonna work full time to make money for when i move out in september n i maybe goin on holiday to canada to help a mate set up there coz shes movin out for a year. Hopefully i'll have sorted the ex situation out by then or at last been able to talk to him about it. Am listenin to the first Usher album! Month n a half til i see his concert in Manchester, can't wait!
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[26 Apr 2004|10:07pm] |
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I sent a letter to mike today, i told him everythin! I sed that i love him again, that i understand he doesnt want a long distance relationship, that i love spending time with him n he makes me happier than anyone n that more than anythin i wanna still be friends with him. He never checks his mail in uni which is kept at the front desk of his accommodation and also he is going away at the end of the week for a short break with friends so he prob won't see it for ages. This mornin i did the thing u shud never do, espec in a vulnerable state - i opened the box! The box which has all that was mike and claire - letters, photos, presents, jewellery, cards, lil notes. I cried readin how he used to feel about me, spent 2 hours writin n changin a text to him n ended up writin him a letter. I now feel so relieved that ive got it off my chest! The letter was casual n shouldnt worry him n who knows might make him come runnin back n we'll live happily ever after....Ok so maybe not but at least ive told him how i feel n will wait to hear how he feels. I can't explain but i feel so free and happy now :-)
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[25 Apr 2004|06:19pm] |
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So i went to see Mike yesterday n i did have a really great day, we chatted non stop, had lunch together, went the cinema n just laughed together. He looked gorgeous! We wer huggin for ages in coach station before i left but it was clear thats all that was gonna happen. I know now that i am back loving him, we wer together in yr 12 and 13 and then split when he moved away for uni in september but it wasnt til december that i felt i was over him. We didn't talk for ages n since weve started talkin again from march i've been thinkin more n more about him. I love Michael! He is happy again with us bein best friends, despite him wantin casual sex in easter holidays, so we r just gonna be good friends even though i want more. I don't know whether to tell him i love him or not. It was his decision that things woudnt work long distance n altho hes told me he is still attracted to me n am sure deep down he still loves me its not enough for him to want to get back together. Argh life is confusing!
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[23 Apr 2004|02:40pm] |
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Been revisin for uni exams quite a bit this week but i get distracted so easily, these exams are gonna b so damn hard. Spent loadsa time with friends recently n we've gone bowlin, to each others houses, out for drinks in the eve, shoppin n hanging out - done lots which has been nice. I am startin work tonight as an usher in a local theatre so hopefully that will go well! Be nice to have some money comin in n hopefully work with some nice people. I was gonna keep this entry mike-free but never mind.... we had a hiccup last week with misunderstandings but been textin each other quite a bit this week n i might be going to manchester 2moro to see him providing work don't need me *fingers crossed* Well back to revision n to get a drink coz ive got a sore throat and stomach grr!
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[14 Apr 2004|08:27pm] |
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Argh i need to release some frustration. Things with Mike, the ex who i can't seem to let go of, were goin well - we were back friends n slightly flirty n all seemed good. This last week we'd spent each night textin each other n things got more sexual each night endin with us tellin each other exactly what we wanted to do n on an emotional level too with sendin kisses n compliments back n forth before we got carried away n sent more sexual wants. Carried away is all it mustve been because tonight, the night we wer finally both free to secretly meet up n do what we'd been talking about, he text n sed he'd 'forgotton' about other plans he had n has 'been thinkin anyway, maybe its not such a good idea with our past' I am such a fool, why was i so easy as to instantly start flirtin with him n bein so available for doin stuff casually? I feel like his freakin toy for him to play with when he wants n then get bored with n put away for a while. Havnt told any friends bout any recent developments with mike because i know they wud all say 'no dont do it claire!' n if they found out that not only had i encouraged somethin happenin with mike but made myself so available that mike has had his fun n now but a stop to it like hes the freakin boss. Am so annoyed at him, but the sad fact is i still love him n thats why i was happy for anythin to happen. Ive asked him to email me later with what he wants coz i dont know how he feels anymore. Men..!
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[03 Apr 2004|08:32pm] |
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So am in a really good mood, pretty damn happy at the moment! Firstly my horse, well the one i bet on, came first in the Grand National! I was cheerin so loudly when he was catchin the other horses up n was all excited that it won yay! On easter hols now which means no headin off to uni each day and also a holiday involving lotsa chocolate! And, went out thursday night with Mike and some friends and altho when friends were there i pretty much ignored mike n just chatted with them for hours, when they left me n mike wer together we wer talkin lots n then we left together n walked with him to the train station n we wer all flirty n friendly n i was soo happy! So yeh am feelin pretty good at the moment, probably off shoppin 2moro - look for some nice top to wear when i spend monday with Mikey ;-)
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[29 Mar 2004|09:13pm] |
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Hey everyone! So got one week of uni left n then a 8 week break til exams then a week of exams n then huge summer hols from may - october! Me thinks i best get myself a job so i can afford rent for when i move out in september! Things are goin well tho, been out with friends this weekend, uni work is gettin done, student loan isnt all spent up yet and me n mike have been talkin so all seems fairly good :-) So now gotta revise, gotta get me a job, therefore some more money and a boy to have fun with would be nice!
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[18 Mar 2004|12:56pm] |
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Ive just bought 2 tickets to go see Usher in concert in Manchester in June!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Soo excited as u can tell! loved loved loved his last album 8701 n the dvd of last tour n ive just downloaded his latest one n its soundin good so far :-) I'm goin to see Usher with Mike, the ex, the love of my life, the one i'm confused over etc so hopefully things will have changed by June! Our song is/was Ushers 'U Got It Bad' if he plays that it may be awkward dependin on what our situations are then! Still, cant wait!!
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[13 Mar 2004|08:28pm] |
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So i met up with my ex 2day after like 3 months of not talkin n it was really really nice. The aim of meeting up was to sort stuff out but instantly we wer just chatting away n did so all day. He payed for lunch which was sweet, but he didnt really have any reason for the fact that he never gets in contact he just went on about how busy his new life is. I do still love him but am not in love with him, guess the love is unconditional seen as we wer together so long, at least we r back friends. I miss him.
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[08 Mar 2004|08:47pm] |
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So am meetin up with an old friend, an old boyfriend in 2 days and emotionally am all over the place! We didnt talk for months yet i for whatever reasons text him n now we r meetin up for lunch n i dunno whether to be excited or nervous or regretful or what! I loved him soo much n it took me months to get over him n it was goin from bein each others bestest friend to just a mate to him that made me stop talkin to him n have some time to detox. Now we r meetin up n this week hes been textin n they are all nice messages, sayin hes lookin forward to it n wot not. I hope it goes well but ive gotta be strong n make sure he answers my questions! Am a confused lil girl!
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[04 Mar 2004|11:15am] |
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Hey again people, got day off from uni 2day yay! And its nearly the weekend! Got plans to see friends fri night, gonna watch '50 first dates' with adam snadler n eat lotsa junk food of course! N one day we'll go see my grandad, he had a heart attack last week n this will b first time me n my sis can go see him. I text my ex mike askin if he wanted to have lunch sometime argh! I shudnt have done it, we stopped bein friends coz he wasnt makin any effort but i still miss him bein my friend but yeh he hasnt replied yet! He lives in Manchester which is hour away from Liverpool by train or coach so dunno who will be makin the journey! Anyhoo gonna go now, my sex and the city boxsets that i got off ebay have arrived so i have a lot of watchin to do!
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| Ello |
[29 Feb 2004|11:03pm] |
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Hey everyone, been chattin to few ppl so its all good! Anyone ive had messages from ive replied that its snowin here in Liverpool, England where i live - so cool! Yea so had really good weekend, was with mates fri night piggin out on loads food n watchin friends n other comedies n last night went to see Along Came Polly at the cinema which was really funny! N 2day found out that finally at the ripe old age of 19 i'm gonna have my first cousin! My only uncle got married last year n we found out 2day that they are expectin in september! Which is same time i'm gonna be movin out of family home for first time! I'm in my first year of uni doin business studies n stayed at home this year coz hadnt sorted any finances out or anythin but we've just signed contract, me n 5 other mates, for a flat near my uni in the centre of liverpool for next school year!!!
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