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mood |
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music |
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Ivy - Worry About You |
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normally refered to as "my da" "the paternal body" or even so far as "that bastard" not much is known about him. that's because ever since we moved here, he's been working in other states. only home for a couple days, every couple months. that's alright though.
you might possibley, at this point, be wondering why the hell i'm writting about my da. well that's because i was thinking about him this afternoon when mommy dragged me and Ra to Libby Hill.
ok, so he's not the worst person in the world, as i sometimes make him out to be. i guess i really don't hate him. just the things he does. but over-looking that, (which is hard for me) i will admit he tries hard when it comes to his kids. well, as best as he knows how, anyway. which, isn't really the best way, but he doesn't know that because he's just not around. but i'll give him points because he tries. and, according to mommy, he sucks up to me. i guess he's thinking that if he can get me to soften up, everyone else'll be easy. well i must say, that's probably not the easiest task in the world. i can be a cold-hearted bitch. quite often, actually. not only that, but we don't really know each other.
let's put it this way: the thing i remember most about my da was a memory from long, long ago. i was about five or six, and it was still way back when i lived in Boiling Springs. we were in my bedroom, and it was back when they had the tv and nintendo in there (before we moved it to the boy's room. or maybe after, i can't remember anymore). Da was sitting on my bed, playing Super Mario World, and i was sitting next to him in a chair, holding a control and pretending to play. really i was just watching though, but being a kid i thought i was kicking ass in the game. i remember he fell into a hole, and he was like "oh darn it! right, Cat?" and i was all like "yeh, damn!" (because me being a kid, i repeat all words i hear). he got real mad that i had cursed, and slapped me across the face. i remember i grabbed my cheek, and i think i ran off, but it sort of fades after that.
that's actually one of my favorite memories of him. probably in part because i don't really have many others. i remember he taught me magic tricks for a talent show, and helped me do a probability project for math once. we used to watch Star Trek togeather, because he loved it and i thought all the creatures in it looked funny. he also introduced me to The Twilight Zone, a show that still remains one of my favorites today. i remember we once watched this Thanksgiving marathon of it, and i fell in love with it. the Talking Tina episode freaked me out though.
then one day, i heard things i shouldn't've. i saw things i didn't need to. and my little eleven-year-old mind couldn't quite believe it all. i guess part of the reason i hate him so much now is that it seemed a whole lot more awful then when i was younger, than it does now. but hatred dies hard.
i'm sorry Da, but i just can't help but hate you..
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