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17th July 2003
I hate today.
Today was the worst day ever. It was 98% because of work. I don't even feel like going into detail on all the bullshit that happened today becuase it will only make me more depressed. I am currently crying. Those of you who know me best understand what an event this could be considered. For those of you who don't really know me. It is a rare happening, for me to cry. It was just one of those days. I knew it was going to be from the start too. I thought about calling in and just not going but I decided to tough it out and do it (I need the money.) So I went....and as the day progressed my mood degressed and the stress continued up to 4pm. It was awful. I really should just quit and find a different job. The fact is though, there aren't really many other jobs that I could get and then have a way to get to. Not to mention NYCM does pay pretty well. But the fact remains that it is a shit hole. Not the shitiest of shit holes, obviously because I could be much much much MUCH worse off. So I am greatful for the job I do have. It just makes me so angry that people are forced to do this sort of bullshit just to make enough money to get by, put food on the table, etc. It's people 'living the American Dream!' Working their asses off to make a few bucks here and there. Never really getting to experience some of the better things that life can offer. Granted not EVERYONE is like this. Some people DO enjoy their jobs. And to those people I have to say, good job doing what ever you did to find something you love and make money doing it. :
Now new subject. My friends are great....GREAT! Yeah....they know I've had the worst day ever and do they even bother to ask me if I would want to get together with them? NO! THey're all getting together to have a great time. Granted I know they're watching Terminator 2, which I don't want to see until I've seen the frist one, though I have already seen the third one and it was damn good. The fact of the matter is they still could've ASKED just to see if I MIGHT want to! Just the thought of asking me would be good enough. But no... Luckily I do have a few good friends left, Eric, Jessie, and Dan who do still care and want to hang out with me. Thought that might not work out either. It all depends on if Eric has to work with his dad tonight or not. If he does then I will be stuck home lonely. Moping in my self pity. (*Hey it's been a LONG time since I've felt this shitty...I've been extremely perky and in a great mood for weeks! I knew the bottom had to drop out eventually and now I'm going to wallow in it just for a little while.)
well I'm done writing for now. Perhaps I will write again later tonight to let you know how my mood has changed. If it's changed that is. Oh tomorrow I have Orientation at Cazenovia. I'm a little nervous but it'll be okay. I was told that it's extremely boring. So I'm bracing myself for a 'fun filled day."
Current Music: no music...just silence....
16th July 2003
So many words left unspoken...Will you forget me? I know I'll remember you...
I've really been busy lately. Sunday I went to Utica with my mom to get a few things. After I got back from Utica I hung out with Eric and I'm sure I hung out with Jessie and Dan for a bit as well...I may have actually gone to the Summer House that night as well...I'm not entirely sure though. Monday I had a dentist appointment so I only had to work for two hours. There were some troubles with the van tire...it was flat...I fixed it...then Tim's Garage fixed it. After my appointment i went to Cooperstown to visit my dear friend Courtney at the bakery where she works. That was enjoyable AND I didn't buy anything. Wait that's a lie. I bought a Rasberry Ice Tea Snapple! Which was yummy. Then I drove home and I later hang out with Eric, Jessie and Dan. The four of us went to Denny's in Oneonta where we found Jess G. She was working in the Denny's and seated us. This made us sad because we didn't expect to see her and didn't really want to either. Oh and we all had the munchies REAL bad. So we were having MAJOR issues trying to decide on what type of food to get and more importantly how much food to get. I ended up with 4 pieces of toast, a bagel with cream cheese, and two fried eggs. This was all good and very delicious. After this we went back to Dan's house and watched Office Space. Yesturday Jessie and Dan, and Eric and I all went exploring in the woods. We first went up to Dan's Mom's house to view the beautiful hill Dan and Jessie had discovered. We spent about two hours walking through the woods and by ponds. It was incredible. I loved every minute. Then we went to Eric's Dad's land to walk around. This was also very pretty and enchanting and I loved it. I love nature and the outdoors. It was good night. Jessie and I came up with a thought. I decided I was going to marry Bill, *Eric's father* and live in his awesome cabin in the woods and Jessie was going to marry Chuck, *Dan's father*. We'd have a combined wedding and the whole thing would just be awesome! He he he. Eric and Dan were both slightly freaked out. :
I spent from 9:30am until 4pm (Excluding my hour lunch break from 11:30 til 12:30) removing staples from packets of papers that were printed yesturday but are flawed. They all had the wrong print date on them. Meaning about 1,200 of these packets needed to be taken apart and seperated. This wasn't bad at all for the fact that Nichole and I were seated next to eachother in such a way that we could easily chit-chat. We had some really great conversations today as well. But THEN they seperated us. Probably becaues we were talking and in the way of this thing others needed to use. So now all I could do was focus on how much there was and how much my right hand and shoulder hurt (It takes some force to get those damn staples out!) So now, my hand and shoulder STILL hurt but I am home. I'm waiting for Eric to get ready to hang out. I guess we're going to go to the hill (our old esacpe spot) and then either his house or my house to watch a movie. I've been in a strange mood tonight...so we'll see how this goes Oh and by strange I mean like I've been thinking a lot about the fact that I'm going away to college and he and I aren't going to see eachother every day and how much it's going to hurt. (Every day away from you is one away from me...) So I've been crying for the first time in a while. Though I don't want him to know this because he always gets wierd when I cry in front of him or even if he knows I've been crying. Hopefully I can keep my shit together while we're hanging out.
OH I called my roommate Danielle! OH by the way I got my letter saying who my roommate is! So yeah..I called her and she seems super duper awesome. Ha ha. She sounds a lot like me and we seem to be able to at least keep a conversation going so that's all good. I'm really excited now and I can't wait to meet her! She's suppose to call me sometime this week so we can discuss who should bring what. The whole burden of 'oh I hope my roommate is cool' is gone. Which is very very nice!
Well I think I'm going to wrap this up now even though I know I could go on and on about all the things I was thinking about while working today. (Such as how horrible it is that people are forced to waste their lives away in a place like NYCM just to make money to live when they never truely get to LIVE! It makes me so angry and so sad. Some of these people have 6 kids at home to feed and so many bills to pay, which is why they're working at NYCM. The problem is they have no choice and so they sacrifice their lively hood for a few bucks. It's sickening.)
On that lovely note....I'll write later or tomorrow or something. Bye.
What a cruel world we live in.
What makes me the most sick
is I know that I've only see one
little tiny speck compaired to
all the rest of the horrible shit
in this god forsaken world.
Current Music: Taking Back Sunday "Your Own Disaster"
12th July 2003
I've been so busy lately and I don't feel drained at all. I'm loving it! I've been having the best times of my life these past couple of weeks. Eric and I have been seeing a lot of eachother which is very amazing since we will hardly get to see eachother all after the end of August. He slept over for the first time in a while last night. We put Toy Story 2 into my NEW TV/VCR and DVD PLAYER!!! (I'm excited because I've never had a tv in my room and it's nice. I bought it for college.) It was so nice falling asleep in his arms again. I'm going to miss it so much...I don't even want to think about it. :
A new theory has been developed and discussed by Eric and Myself as well as Jessie and Dan. You see, weed is natural. It comes from the earth and when we're high fruit just tastes SO amazing! THen today Eric and I discovered that walking bare foot on the grass in my back yard is amazing when you're high because you feel connected to the ground and to the earth. It's like, you're experiencing a whole new level of peace and it's great! So therefore...weed enhances life and those things in life that are natural. I personally see absolutely NOTHING wrong with becoming more involved in nature and eating healthier. Now I crave fruits and veggies vs. junk food. Junk food is empty calories; it does nothing for my body what so ever. But fruit and veggies are great for you and I'm eating them a lot now. Pot just really changes your whole perspective on life. I mean honestly, now I just always want to be outside and when I'm outside I take everything in. Everything effects me differently and so much more deeply. The wind, the leaves, the feeling of grass on my feet, the sound of a river, the shape of the clouds, the way the hills roll, things like that. Everything amazes me now. I love it!
I'm currently watching Almost Famous again, which is one of my favorite movies. Here are few quotes that are from the movie that either make me laugh, entertain me, or intrigue me.
"It's all happening!"
"They're all on pot!"
"Don't take drugs!!!"
"Here I am, and fuck you if you don't understand me!"
"Do you wanna come?" "Yes! Yes...ask me again." "Do you wanna come?" "Yes!"
"Please stay, I wanna hear you play..."
"Wanna buy a gate?"
"Your aura is purple! Purple! IT'S PURPLE!"
"Let's go find something real. From here on out all I'm interested in are real things, real people."
"I'm a Golden God! I'm on drugs!!!"
"I hurt the flower."
"What kind of beer?"
Yeah, there's more...many many more I just don't want to sit here typing everytime I hear a line I like. I did remember some and added them though they have not been said yet.
So, I guess I'll state my new life plan now. I'm sick of so many of the things that are considering "normal-everyday-ordinary things" I know you need money to 'get anywhere in this world' but so many jobs are just so mindless. Robots could do them, which bothers me. Mine job is so repeative, it drives me crazy. Though the past two days weren't AS bad, since I started having conversations with this girl Jackie that just graduated from UV who works with me. But that has nothing to do with my new life plan. You see, my new life plan is to make all my own clothing out of grass and leaves and like materials. I'm going to grow my own fruits and veggies and have a chicken and a rooster on my mini-farm built on a field of clover by the woods. I'm going to live there in awesome comfort. I'll have a dark room in my little cabin which will allow me to develope all the pictures I plan to take of natural things. I will be buying some things of course. Such as film, and kitchen appliances. I will have a phone, computer, and internet because I don't want to lose all contact with all human beings. I just want to escape the American culture of fast food chains and walmarts for a while. The main influence in my decision to live this way is Eric. He always use to say he was going to live in a cabin in the woods some day. Now that my whole perspective has been flipped, I believe that would be the best way to live for a while. Basically, I suppose I'll end up being some form of a 'hippie.' Hopefully I won't be living all alone out there or hopefully I'll at least have some visits from those I love. If not then it'll give me time to reflect and reach true peace. I was toying with the idea of 'Karma' the other day. I don't know if I truely believe in it or not, but I'd like to think about it. I like to think about things that may be considered as 'good Karma' or 'bad Karma.' I also have been thinking about the whole idea of reincarnation (not sure that I spelled that right, but I'm sure you all know what I mean. ha ha, I say that as if tons of people are actually reading this, yeah right!) It just interests me. The idea that I could've already been on this earth as someone or something else and the idea that when I die my spirit may live on in a different form.
Well I think I've written enough for tonight, so I'm going to be watching the rest of this movie and then I'm going to sleep. Night!
Current Music: Pink Floyd
7th July 2003
Staplers are Evil.
I went back to work today, after a wonderful fun-filled weekend. I got up kind of late. In fact I was still in my pjs when Molly arrived here at 7:30am, but I was getting ready. The morning wasn't so bad...I actually don't even really remember what I did. More than likely I spent my morning doing "Automatics." Lunch was good, as always. THEN, Nichole and I had "Index Training" in which this woman slaped down an extrememly large 3-ring binder onto a desk and told us to look through it. So we did. Then she informed us that we were suppose to have memorized what we'd just seen...and we hadn't because we hadn't been told to. So tomorrow when it comes time to Index, it's going to be horrible because we'll have no idea what we're doing. After that I was given two stacks of papers. Each stack had approx. 200 papers in it. My job: Take a paper from each stack match the numbers and staple it. So I did this and I was probably about 50 papers into these piles when the woman comes back and informs me that she's told me the wrong order and that I have to go back through remove the staples and then re-staple the papers in the right order. So, though it's not even my fault, I do this. I continued this whole process from 1:30 until 4pm...that's 2 1/2 fucking hours of stapling!!! How completely ridiculous is that??? If I see a stapler in the next 24-48 hours I will more than likely scream and murder the person who is either holding the object, asking me to use to object , or even just standing near the object. FUCK STAPLERS!!!!!!! :
Now anyways....I'm going to go down to eat dinner at Eric's. Maybe I'll write again later. We'll see. Bye bye!
S C R E W New York Central Mutual!!!!!!!!!
Current Music: Anti-Office Supply Music
6th July 2003
Oh what a weekend.
The 4th of July ended up being pretty fun. I went to Vick's going away party which was cool. Then Eric and I came back here to my house to wash his car since he doesn't have a hose and I do! *Tee hee* After we finished washing the car we went back to his house for a bit. Then I went home and my family was getting ready to go to the fireworks in Oneonta. I decided I didn't want to go. SO instead I got the house ALL to myself, which hasn't happened in SOOOO long! It was amazing. I watched a spanish music video channel for a while and then I started to watch Bridget Jone's Diary which I've never seen. About 10 or 15 minutes into the movie I hear a knock on my door. To my surprise it is Courtney, Nichole, and Molly! They decided they wanted to go to Utica and they wanted me to go too. SO we went! The mall ended up being closed, seeing how it was the 4th and all, BUT Target was open. So we shopped there. I bought a plant, 2 kick ass skirts, and a couple dvds, including The Pianist, Crazy/Beautiful, and Just Married. All very good movies! On our way home from we got to see some fireworks in the distance which was enjoyable. We were pretty crazy on the car ride home singing at the top of our lungs. It was great. Very much like old times. When we got back into Edmeston we decided to all crash at my house and watch "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days" which Nichole had purchased. Eric ended up coming down to hang out and watch the movie with us, which was cool. So that was pretty much my Friday night. Yesturday was interesting. I watched my movies all day long until 7 when Eric came over because he was bored. Then Jessie and Dan picked the two of us up so we could go up to Dave's BBQ. I had my first experience with 'redneck fireworks' it was pretty entertaining. And the fireworks were pretty cool. The four of us left there around 10 to go to Marty's Grad Party at his house. The party was alright. They were shooting off fireworks there as well and they were going crazy. A tent almost caught fire as well as a tree because the firework were just randomly shooting out of the fire. It was kind of scary. I met some new people there which is always awesome. One such person was this guy from Mexico City who goes to Hamilton College. His name is Ernesto (I've probably spelled that wrong...) He was SO fucking hilarious! He was also pretty drunk. But he was talking to us and then he was just like "What the hell are those blinking lights in teh bushes?? Am I hallucinating?" He was talking about the fireflies in the bushes. He'd never ever seen fireflies before! It was So crazy! Dan went over and caught one and brought it bakc to him and Ernesto held it and he was just like "This is the most amazing moment of my life." It was so great seeing someone experiencing something like that for the first time! :
At about 12:30 or 12:45 Dan, Jessie, Eric and I left to go up to Dan's where we decided we were goign to sleep vs. sleeping out in the tents since it started raining. Oh Vick needed a ride home and Dan said he would take her. So we hop in the car, and we see a cop drive by, and we're like 'uh, okay...great' after it drives by we pull out and head on our way. While going out on north street we see that there's this car right on our ass. So we're getting a little nervous because we've got beer in the trunk, Jessie and I both have our bowls, and I've got weed on me. So Jessie and I prepare to throw ourstuff out the window and she throws her's but right was I was about to throw mine the cops headlights swung around right on my hand . So I couldn't throw it. Eric took itfrom me and we put it into the seat. It should be known that I'm ocmpletely freaking out about to cry, scared throughly shitless. So Vick being crazy as she is, opens her car door and yells "Who is this?" to the cop (because she knows the cops being the foriegn exchanged student and all). It ended up being Johnson...the cop who's truck I hit on Christmas Eve....so now I'm really scared. But Eric was doing a good job of keeping me calm and comforting me. So Johnson is talking to Dan since he was driving and he asked him for his license and if he'd been drinking and Dan said "no, and i will take a breathalizer test if you want me too" and the cop believe him and he didn't give him the test, which Dan would've passed anyways because he had only had one beer and it was about 2 hours prior to this. So the cop goes and run's Dan's license and while he's gone we're still a little nervous. Oh the reason he pulled us over was because Dan's tail lights were out. Which he could've gotten a ticket for, but Johnson didn't give him one and he just told him to get them fixed as soon as possible. And that was that. It was SO crazy...I thought for sure that this was it. I was going to get busted and my life as I know it would've been ruined. But no, we got away with SO much shit! So we get up to Dan's house and Jessie is pissed about her bowl because she just bought it like 3 days ago when the 4 of us went to Oneonta and it's a hot bowl. So Dan comes up with a plan of how to retrieve the bowl and with the help of Diddy, they get her bowl back! That was extremely awesome. As soon as they got back we smoked and I personally smoked a massive amount of weed and ended up pretty much passed out on the floor/bed that Eric and I were going to sleep on. It was the craziest experience of my life, probably the crazy night of my life. But it was awesome! I'm just glad everything worked out the way it did. So that's been my crazy weekend. Today will be a bit more mellow. Courtney might be coming over later and we'll probably just watch some movies, unless I decide I want to go to Utica to comparison shop for a tv, vcr, and dvd player. I want to get great deals on them! So i guess that's about it for now.
Current Music: Pink Floyd "Hey You"
4th July 2003
Crossing the days off the calender...
So it's the 4th of July...yippee. I have no plans to watch any fireworks this evening...which kind of blows considering that's a bit of a tradition. I am however going to our foreign exchange student Vick's going away party. I'm going to miss her so much! I dunno if you'll ever read this babe, but you and I had some great times at some of those parties. Espeically last weekend...I swear to god those people were walking around the tent! That was some scary shit! Tonight through tomorrow night was suppose to be 'Jess Fest' but it's been posponed...I'm a little dissappointed but there's still 'Marty's Island' tomorrow night and Jess Fest will be next weekend or something like that. So the weekend will not be a total loss. I really enjoyed sleeping in this morning. I'm not even going to get started talking about my job or my boss because they piss me off and I'm in a good mood today! I've been having a lot of fun with Jessie, Dan, and Eric everyday this week after work until about 10:30. Trips to Oneonta, the mall, Walmart, Neptune's, and a couple awesome little shops. It's just been so much fun. You guys make me laugh so much! (If I could think of any examples of things you've said and/or done recently that made me laugh a lot. I would say them now. But the fact is, I can't remember any at the moment. I know there are LOTS though!) OH in Walmart yesturday, we saw one of our 'old teachers' Mrs. Brett. It's so funny beening graduated because now seeing our teachers is like an event! It's great! Not to mention they're a lot more chill and layed back with us now. Though they were pretty chill and layed back before. It's just different now. I love it! Well I can't really think of anything else to babble endlessly about at the moment. So I think i'm going to go get myself ready to go to Vick's. Perhaps I'll write again later. It all depends on if I find something to do after Vick's or not. Buh bye for now! :
Please exuse the stupidity of my last entry.
I wasn't myself. (*Tee hee*)
Current Music: Dashboard Confessional "Remeber to Breathe"
1st July 2003
I hate my job. It's worse than I thought it would be. God...it's so robotic it just pisses me off. I wasw SO grumpy when I got done and I really needed a massages (which I've just realized I never got). There were only 3 things in which I wanted to do and I did two of them so that's good. And I had a great time tonight. Eric and I went up to Zingers and Jessie was there. So we all hung out for a bit. Then we decided we were hungry so we went to the Neptune's Diner to eat...and boy did we EAT! Yum yum! Then Eric wanted to buy some LoTR role playing game books from the mall and Jessie also wanted to buy a book. So we ventured over to the mall and did that. Then Jessie decided she watned to look in the movie section at Walmart. So we went there. I bought the DVD of "Young Frankenstein" which I will have towatch tomorrow, since I need to getshowered and go ot bed because of work tomorrow. Bullshit...fucking work...screw it! Jessie and I are looking in Cooperstown at this place where maybe we both can get hired *which would be awesome* cause then I'd quit my bullshit job an NYCM. God I hate it so much! Well I'm gunna go now....I dunno if this entry makes any sense or not, it's more than likely just some random ramblings. But ah well...Good Night Cruel World! :
Xtina *ha ha ha, That's so dumb*
_Da fo Real Deal_ -Christiey- (Christy) (Christie) (Christina) (Chris)
(Dr. Crickle Chring Quiggles, PhD.) (Chring) (Cringle) (Ch-Dawg) (etc...)
Current Music: Dashboard Confessional "Remember to Breathe"
30th June 2003
Yay, so I've graduated....I'm no longer a high school student....it's amazing! :
I had the best graduation night ever! It included the best of everything and i really enjoyed myself. (*I'm never going to forget you, and I can only hope you'll never forget me...I've had the time of my life with you. You know who you are.*)
Well though it is only 9:30....I must get off and go cleanse myself followed by some good old sleepage due to the fact that I start WORK tomorrow! DAMMIT! I haven't even started and I'm already hating it! So off I go! Nighty Night!
Current Music: Vitamin C "The Graduation Song"
28th June 2003
I'm One Busy Busy Bunny!
So yesturday was quite busy. I spent the majority of the morning and on into the mid afternoon cleaning my house in preparation for all the family and guests that will be coming to celebrate my GRADUATION with me! Around 6pm, Nichole picked me up and we headed up to Molly's Grad. party at the fire house. The food was yummy. And we found ways to entertain ourselves (balloons on sticks...OH NO!!! I've just realized that I left mine up at Dan's!!!! What ever will I do???) At about 8pm, we all left Molly's party (including Molly) to go to my house switch vehicals, (because I said I'd drive up to Shannon's Grad party). Then we went to go see our good buddy Shannon. We got there, said 'hello' gave him our cards and pretty much just left...to go back to Molly's party...where we sat... At about 9:45 pm Jessie and Dan decide to go up to Shannon's (They didn't come with us when we went) and Jessie asked me if I wanted to go with them, so I did. We got up there and Shannon was NO WHERE in sight! So the three of us just stood there for about 5-10 minutes scanning the perimeter for any signs of Shannon. After a while Derek showed up and he decided he'd find SHannon, so we went with him, and sure enough he found Shannon. He was in his room with 'The Boys.' Eric was there and he came up and gave me a hug and proceeded to tell me all about his new game, SWG, which doesn't bother me at all because I don't mind hearing about the game. (And he's adorable when he rambles passionately about things.) So then after chatting for a bit, and seeing Jim's new kick-ass hair cut, Jessie, Dan, Eric and I decide we're going to go to Dan's to hang out. So we say our goodbyes and head on out. At this point Jessie asks me to stay over night up there, and I say "OKAY!" so we stop in my house I grab over night stuff and we head on up to Dan's!! Once we got there, we watched some "Billy Cosby As Himself" (The BEST comedy act I've ever seen. Gotta love Cosby!) After that we watched "The Ring" and yet again it failed to freak me out. So then we pop in "8 mile" and realize that it's 3am so Jessie and Dan go into Dan's room to sleep and Eric and I gotdown on the matress that Dan was nice enough to put out for us and cover with a sheet and blankies! Then Eric and I cuddled up and went to sleep. Then this morning I was awaken at 6:45 am...Eric didn't know if anyone was home to watch his sisters! SO, we got up and drove home. BUT it was SO beautiful out this morning. All of Edmeston was covered in a blanket of fog and it was so beautiful. It look like water was covering our sleepy little town. I loved it! When I got home I went back to sleep, and woke up at 10. I showered, ate some food, drank some drink and got online. And here I am! Today's plan is to go to Nichole's Grad. Party at 3pm, and then from there try to hit up: Kevin and Jenna's, Ashley and Maryellen's, and perhaps a few others, such as Andrews. THEN, I have the Alumni Banquet at 6:30...hopefully it isn't very long...and after that is Heather's Grad. party! SO, it's pretty much going to be another busy day...but nothing compaired to what tomorrow is going to be like. Here are my plans for tomorrow: Wake up at about 9 am...shower, get dressed up, do my hair and make up. Maybe eat a little breakfast. Then at 12 (after all my family has arrived at my house) we will all march over to the school together so my family can get good seats for GRADUATION!!!!!!!! At 1pm is the actually ceremony. After that my party begins and goes until 4 at which time I leave my party to go visit other's parties, such as Jessie's, Amanda's, and Courtney's. Courtney's is an all nighter, so I'll be there all night, with Eric and a tent. It's going to be CrAzY and SO much fun! I'm excited. Oh and incase I don't write again for the next two days (which is more than quite possible) Monday I have orientation for my 'wonderful' job at NYCM at 1:30pm. It will be GREAT fun, I'm SURE! Then I start work on Tuesday...bright and early...also shall be great fun...*yay*.... So there you have it, my next few days in a nut shell....though this is probably one of my most boring entries...it's MY journal and I'll bore you if I want to! (K, that was lame, I know...) But anyways. I'm out! Buh byes! :
Current Music: Sheryl Crow "My Favorite Mistake" (I like to sing this song)
26th June 2003
Ooo GraduAtion ooO (Sung to the tune of my Procrastination Song for those of you who have heard it)
Gradation is fastly approaching! I've decided that I want to make a collage of pictures for my party after all. So I'm busying myself with creating that as well as doing other odds and ends that need to be done. I also have to find some time to get my friend's graduation presents finished. I've already told my girls they won't be getting theirs at their parties. I'm still just completely excited about graduation finally being here. I'm sure on Sunday I'll be feeling a lot more emotional, but for now it hasn't fully hit me. I'm excited about seeing some family I haven't seen in a while (Such as my Uncle David, Aunt Audrey, and their girls Shannon and Robyn, as well as my grandparents and my Uncle Jeff, Aunt Kathy and their three boys, AND my Aunt Debbie and her song Riley....I think that's it for family.) I dunno, the point is I'm excited! I guess I don't really have much else to say at the moment...OH wait! I can tell a story that will pretty much make me sound like a fool, but it was really scary for me! Here it goes: :
My sister's cat Butterscotch got outside and he's an indoor cat. So I was helping her find him because we heard him meowing. This was at about 9:30pm. So we're walking around, I'm wearing sandles and we've got a flashlight and we finally find him but he's in the neighbor's yard which is fenced in. So I bend the fence down and lean WAY over it to reach him. As I'm doing this i feel something slimy on my foot but I ignore it because I really wanted to get the cat for my little sister. Well Butterscotch really doesn't like it when we try to bring him inside and so he tries to get away and scratches us all the time when we do this. So I keep having to stop and put him down on the ground while still restraining him so I won't get scratched. Finally I reach the bottom of my steps at my back porch where there's light and I go to set him down for minute again because he's kicking pretty hard and I see my feet. And I've got about TEN slugs all over my feet, smooshed between my toes and my sandles and it's SO GROSS!!! SO, if I haven't told you or you don't already know, I am VERY scared of WORMS especially, but SLUGS as well, anything slimy and wiggly like that. SO I start freaking out! But I don't wnat to let the cat go, so instead I start crying because I've got these slugs on me whiel I carry the cat he's scratching the hell outta me into the house. As soon as I threw the cat in the house i threw off my sandles and frantically whiped my feet off on this mat thing and then ran inside to wash them. Then I came back outside and washed my sandles. And it was horrible. Now you see...this sounds very stupid to you i'm sure...but you don't understand I seriously basically have a phobia of worms and things of that nature. I hate them. All my friends think it's crazy, but they love me just the same. And it's not something that really effects me in my day to day life so i'm not that worried about it. But there you go, I think that's my first insane story in these journal entries. He he. I hope you enjoyed it!
Well now I think I'm going to go work on my collage for a bit before i take ANOTHER shower (it'll be my third one today) and head to bed. Tootles!
C to the H to the R to the I to the S to the T back to the I to the N to the A *(yay! that was great)*
C to the H to the R to the I to the S to the T back to the I to the E to the Y *(yay! that was great as well)*
I've suddenly received a burst of energy from above!
I'm feeling a little cRaZy now! Muwahahahaha! (<------ I can do that laugh for real! Those of you who know me and have heard it know what I'm talking about. Those who know me and haven't heard it, ask me to do it and I just might!)
Current Music: Four Non-Blondes "What's Up"
Bitten and Burnt to a crisp.
So I just got done mowing my lawn.....it took me 2 1/2 hours. I felt really grossy and sweaty when I had finished so I took a nice long cold shower to cool down. I hopped out of the shower only to discover that a horse fly had bitten my back and it hurt like bitch...but it also itches...so I scratched it! It's only natural to scratch when your itchy! So then when I scratched it I discovered that I also had gotten pretty nicely SUN BURNED on my shoulders and upper back! Yeah...so i've been bitten and burnt so far today. :
I am still in a very good mood because it's still a nice day out and there are plenty of things to do on a nice day!
I'll write again later. I need to go find something to do right now.
Current Music: Nelly "It's Hot In Hurrr" *Tee hee*
25th June 2003
Oh What Day!
Today was fantastic! I had graduation practice at 9am, but i'm not complaining because that means I'm getting outta here soon! (I can't wait!) Then Jessie and I went up to Dan's to take down her trampoline! This became an excite event. *Note to Jessie: We've got to that more often. I had so much fun!* Then after 'working up an appetite' we went back down to the school for a lunch that our class bought ourself with the extra money we had in our account! I ate SOOOO much food. I swear I gained 5 pounds today! The food was damn good! After that, Jessie, Jonny B, and I went to Jessie's to set up her trampoline. This was also quite interesting. After hanging out for a bit, Jessie took me home where I've been since. :
I got to talk to Eric M. from Ithaca for the first time in ages! This made me quite giddy, for he's always been a cutie and he's a good conversation too. I plan to go visit him at least once this summer as well as my friend Mikie! I miss them both. I have to tell you they're both probably two of the coolest people I've ever met. (Tee hee...if you two happen to read this, I mean every word!!!)
Well I guess that's it for now. I want to go find myself some dinner and then I might take a little nap to get rested up for tonight!
Current Music: Pink Floyd "Hey You"
24th June 2003
What a nice day it was!
Today was such a nice day! It was SO HOT though. If it weren't for Nichole and her pool I may have died today. I also got a nice tan so that's a definite plus as well! When I got back from Nikki's I took Michelle (My little 8 year old sister) over to the play ground across the street at the school. This gave me an opportunity to play with my camera and it's various lenses. So while she played I snaped couple pictures which was cool. Later on, around 8 Eric and I went for a walk and made good conversation. So that was fun. I was home by 9 and then I showed my dad my camera and he told me what some of the different things could be used for, which was cool. I"m kind of blanking on things to say at the moment. So I guess I'll just stop writing now. OH, my personal crisis that I didn't really talk about but that i mentioned yesturday has been completely resolved which is the biggest relief of my life! THANK GOD! Now....I'm going to go to bed for I have Graduation Practice tomorrow at 9am. Night! :
Current Music: Mix of music...no specific song...
23rd June 2003
No Specific Subject.
It was really hot today! So I busied myself with things that would keep me cooled off. Eric and I walked down and got some ice cream and hung out on my front porch for a bit. Then I went to my good friend Nichole's house and we got into her pool for a while. Then we got some food from Frankie's. I was heart broken because they didn't have my garlic knots which I had been craving, so I settled for garlic bread. Which once I got it tasted not very much like garlic and nothing like my garlic knots so after eating a lot of it anyways since I payed for it, I had some apple sause and a bowl of cereal (Wow, that sounds like a lot of food!) Then we watch 'our movie' "Now and Then" Oh Courtney and Molly came up too and swam and did the Frankie's thing too. Then Molly left before the movie was even finished. After the movie Nichole, Courtney, and I played basketball against Nichole's younger brother Mark and his friend Jimmy (JIM!
Current Music: Bright Eyes "Nothing Gets Crossed Out" (It's playing now)
What a Nice SUNNY Day!!!!
I woke up this morning to the sound of birds chirping and the bright shining sun glowing through my window blinds! I was instantly put into an excellent mood! Today will be a good day. I have nothing I have to do today and no plans as of right now. But I can tell you this I WILL be going outside to soak up some "free sun" because it's about time we got a sunny day. (Since it's been raining for the past week!!!) I'll probably write again later. I just wanted to share my joy because of this grand day! :
I'm Smiling a Bright Sun Shiney Smile!
Current Music: Sheryl Crow "I'm Gunna Soak Up the Sun"
22nd June 2003
What a Religious day!
So besides the fact that today was Sunday...it was also "Senior Recognition Sunday" so I got another Bible and some cake. It was also Bacclauriate (I'm positive I've misspelled that insane word.) So I've had my fair share of religion and speeches on 'planning my future' today. I've also already tired of answer the age old questions of "So what do you plan to do now?" "Where are you going to go to college?" "What do you plan to major in?" Etc... :
SO for anyone who DOESN'T know yet: I'm going to attend Cazenovia College in the fall. Cazenovia is a private college which means I'm paying a shit load to go there and I can't really afford it but ah well, that's how it goes. It's near Syracuse and about an hour and a half from good Old Edmeston. I'm going to major in Photography. I think that covers the major bases. I will be living on campus of course and no I'm not allowed to have a car the first two years unless I go through the process of making a special request.
Now on to other matters. Today was my good friend Courtney (aka: Court, Quaka, Monkey, Conad, Gonad, Conad the Barbarian, among others...) Birthday! She's 17 now! (wow) So I went up to her house for a bit. We had an insane cookie-filled time, as usual. I gave her a "Mr. Right! Grow-A-Boyfriend" to be a smartass. I also wrote her a pretty nice little note.
I'd like to take this moment to announce that I have the most awesome friends EVER! I love you guys SO much and I'm going to miss you guys SO much next year while you're all together and I'll all by myself in Caz.
Here's an example of the extreme greatness of my friends:
Nichole: Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better for worse, I will love you with every beat of my heart!
Christy: Are you professing your love for me??
Nichole: YES, you CAUGHT me!
Christy: Well, My Darling Nikki... I love you wiht every piece/beat of my heart and we will always be connected at the souls NEVER to part!
Nichole: lol. I would like to admit though, that my professing of love was actually professing of love, however, it was stolen from the beginning of the song, "From This Moment"
Christy: he he he. Well mine was completely orignal!
Random Side Note: I've given up wearing bras for the most part due to the fact that I'm pretty sure they could be catigorized under "cruel and unusual punishment." I mean it's wire cutting into our boobs...it's not that comfortable really. I mean guys! How would you like to wear a Ball bra? Just imagine that for a minute! You'd hate it! I've also decided that it is so much more comfortable to lounge around in a tank top and underoos in this kind of heat rather than wearing annoying hot clothing. This has been a Random Side Note from Christina Blackman!
(If you haven't been able to pick up on this yet...I'm pretty bored right now.)
Incense is awesome and so is good music. They both tingle the senses and I like that. Hmm...now would be a good opportunity to discuss other things that 'tingle my senses' Here, I will make a list.
List of Things that 'Tingle My Senses'
- Bubble Baths
- Incense (though already mentioned)
- Music (also already mentioned)
- Hanky Panky (if ya know what I mean! *wink*)
- Tangy or Sour things
- The outdoors, such as Waterfalls, Forests, Lakes, Rivers, etc.
- Good food, I mean GOOD food.
yeah...I can't really think of anything else at the moment, though I'm sure there are plenty more things that could be added to that list.
Well I think that's about it for now. I may write again tonight becaues I'm not feeling too tired at the moment. But if not then GOOD NIGHT!
Current Music: Summer of '69 Cover by Bowling for Soup
21st June 2003
Oh what a busy day I had.
So here's what i've done today: :
8 a.m. Woke up and took a shower
9 a.m. Left to travel the 45 minutes (technically the 35 minutes since I drove) to Utica to get some important items, such as my photos from Boston (1 hour photo processes amazing me),l graduation cards and a new blow dryer among other things.
12:10 p.m. I re-enter Edmeston
12:15 pm. I prep. myself to go to Jenn's Graduation party
1:30 p.m. I pick up Eric, Joe (drove down north street in reverse to meet him. ended up crooked in the middle of the road. *oops*), Nichole, and Molly. Then we head up to Jenn's party.
3:30 p.m. I return home after dropping everyone off.
4:30 p.m. Eric makes the long hike from 4 houses down and across the street to come here to see me. (Hanky panky) *Tee hee*
We hung out all evening. Got food from Frankies and a movie from Hawk Eye where we went to visit Justin who was working. Then we watched the movie (Animatrix *sorry if I misspelled that*) Then he left at 9:30ish.
And now here I am chatting with people online and writing in my lovely journal. I'm actually quite tired but I'm having pretty great conversation with a couple of people at the moment and that hasn't happened in a while.
Oh well, you got me under your spell. And I don't think that I'm kidding around, don't think I can forget you now! (I've had this song stuck in my head for days!) Too stupid to be aware of the beauty that you give this place!! (AHH, I love this song!! But it just won't leave my head!) What am I doing with my life? Oh well! You got me under your spell! And I don't think that I'm kidding around, don't think I can forget you now. Remember the only things we need sometimes are chilly nights and warmer thighs, 'cause nothing's like being held sometimes! (such a great line!)
Now anyways. I've realized that I graduate a week from tomorrow. That's amazing. I'm really excited! I was worried for a bit, about being on my own next year, no one I know....nothing....but after today I've realized I'm going to be just fine. I love meeting new people and fairly out going. it's going to be a great new experience and I'm going to love it!
Just think of this and me as just a few of the many things, to lie around to clutter up your shelves. and I wish you would cooperate because there's some things I'd like to say to you. And I don't think that you know what you've been missing, 'cause I don't think that you know what you've been missing. And I dare you to forget the marks you left across my neck from those nights when we were both found at our best. Now I could make this obvious and you, you could deny me all in one breath and shrug me off your shoulders. AndI don't think you know what you've been missing, 'cause I don' t think you know what you've been missing, I don't think that you know, said I don't think that you know, I don't think that you know what you've been missing. hey lush have fun, it's the weekend. Hey lush have fun. Hey lush have fun it's the weekend. Hey lush have fun. (Oh I don't think that you know what you've been missing) Hey lush have fun it's the weekend. (No I don't think that you know what you've been missing) Hey lush have fun. (Oh I don't think that you know what you've been missing) Hey lush have fun, it's weekend. (No I don't think that you know what you've been missing) Hey lush have fun. *Forget me, it's that simple* (Oh I don't think that you know what you've been missing) Hey lush, have fun, it's the weekend. *Just Forget me, it's that simple* (No I don't think that you know what you've been missing) Hey lush, have fun, it's the weekend. *Just Forget me it's that simple* (Oh I don't think that you know what you've been missing) Hey lush have fun. *Just Forget me, it's that simple* (Oh I don't think that you know what you've been missing) Hey lush have fun it's the weekend, *Just forget me, it's that simple* (No I don't think that you know what you've been missing) Hey lush have fun. *Forget me it's that simple. Just forget me it's that simple. Just foreget me it's that simple, just forget me it's that simple, just forget me it's that simple, just forget me it's that simple....* (No I don't think that you know what you've been missing) Just forget me, it's that simple!
Whoa...........I broke out into song again........I should warn you I do that often.
Now anyways...If the lead singer of Bright Eyes (among the other bands you're in) happens to be reading this, I just want to take this opportunity to tell you how amazing you are and how much i respect your work. You're lyrics are amazing and they have so much depth to them, it always keeps me thinking. But not only do you have great lyrics, the music itself is just incredible. It's not the typical "power cord" filled created specially for the radiostations shit...it also has depths and emotion and they're difficult to play. Hats off to you Mr. Bright Eyes lead singer. If I ever met I'd just want to give you the hugest hug and maybe have a nice little chat with you. Though I fear I'll be unable to keep up my end of the conversation, I will try.
So now that I've written a special note to someone who will never EVER read this little journal....I think it's safe to say I need sleep and that I'm going to go to bed now. NIGHT!
Current Music: Christy's Mix #4 A nice array of various artists.
20th June 2003
I'm extremely bored at the moment. Ever had one of those days where you just feel completely trapped? If you have then you understand exactly how I'm feeling right now. I want to get out but I have no way out and it's driving me crazy. So I'm just sitting here listening to music. Having very little conversation with very few people. Blah blah blah.....it's all grey and stormy looking outside which is also effecting my mood. I'm hoping my camera the I bought will be coming today because I want to play with it. I was hoping to be able to go and get my pictures from Boston developed, but that's not happening for me again. So instead I'm here listening to some kick ass music and burning some incense. It's strange. The patterns we form in our lives. We basically do the same things every day. Mostly in the same order, sometimes in a slightly different order, but everyday consists of several very basic things. Sleeping, eating, shitting/peeing, grooming (showering, brushing our teeth, perhaps doing your hair or putting on make up, all things of that sort), then entertaining ourselves some how (Talking to people, haning out, TV, Computers, etc...) We have control over all these things, we can chose to them or not to them and if we chose to do them we chose what we want to do or eat or where we want to go. So in a sense I suppose you could say we have control over our daily-destinies. We seem to tend to find one certain routine or a comfortable sequence in which to perform these basic activities on a daily basis. Why do we do this? It must be because as humans we seek consistancy. Luckily we also can choose to change these routines when we get sick of them. The problem comes when we lack the means to change the routine. Therefore we're stuck. :
Wow, that was one long crazy rambling thought....He he....probably bored whoever may be reading this. If I did I'm sorry. If I didn't bore you then you must be just as crazy as I am feeling at the moment! Ha ha. Well I'm going to go see if I can find something...ANYTHING....to do! Later!
Current Music: "Sunrise, Sunset" Bright Eyes
19th June 2003
So I've realized that I'm graduating in oh about 10 days. I'm extrememly excited but it also means the conclusion to a very long chapter of my life. I suppose in the grand skeam of things 13 years isn't THAT much...but for now it's over half of my life time and that freaks me out. There are a few people who I'm just so intimate with and close to....they're really irreplaceable. (Oh, and I'm going to say it now I'm a horrible speller so if anything in this is misspelled silently correct it in your head and move on.) I leave for college on August 27th, so that's 2 months from now as of next Friday. Kind of startling that it's coming up this fast. OH, here's something to talk about. Sr. Trip to Boston, June 12th-14th...AMAZING! I had SO much fun and I got to see SO many things. The only two things that really just...well bored me were the walk along Freedom Trail, which was long, tiresome and frankly quite pointless, and the I-MAX theater show (simply because I was SO exhausted from the Freedom Walk and the show was really geared towards 5 year olds...basically my entire class and our chaperones all fell asleep during the 45 minute long show...THAT'S a great memory!) The whale watch was AMAZING, so to all of you who said the trip would be boring and stupid because of the whale watch....SCREW YOU, it was great! Cheers was alright....(especially our waiter...) Hard Rock Cafe was really awesome! Not only was the food good which for me included a nearly foot long french fry (yes I have pictures to prove it!) but we also danced on chairs, sang, and performed for the entire resturant! (YMCA and a mix of Grease songs! So much fun!) The Hotel was by far the nicest I've ever stayed in! Free breakfast was great...but who am I kidding ANY free food is great! The hot tub and swimming pool was a lot of fun, though we only got to experience them once. The Duck Tour was also very great! *Quack Quack* and I mean of COURSE I loved it! I've got my whole love for ducks! OH and the Aquarium was pretty cool as well. I persoanlly enjoyed the Penguins the most, but that's also because I've got my whole love for Penguins thing going on as well. Now for the best thing of all.....SIX FLAGS NEW ENGLAND!!!!! Oh my! What a great time! SUPERMAN (once again I apoligize for making that your frist rollercoaster ever Ashley and Maryellen....no rollercoaster will ever top it, but since you both swear you'll never ride another one again I guess that won't be a problem...) The Mind Eraser was just so fun, not scary, just fun! All the rides were great, except this one twister one which made me a little dizzy. The whole experience was just great. Though, I've found spending that much quality time with ALL your classmates can be quite annoying. There's just some people you can only take so much of at one given time. By the end of the 3rd day I was ready to go home and have my own bed and not be surrounded by all those people. But don't get me wrong I enjoyed myself and there were lots of great times and memories. :
Well I'm thinking that this is all i have to say at the moment because I've been babbling on for a while now.
Current Music: Bright Eyes "Nothing Gets Crossed Out"
5th May 2003
Today was a pretty average day...it was nice out until 5 minutes before the baseball game when it decided to down pour. I hate baseball a lot, but I go for lack of anything else to do in this shitty little town. It's just been one of those days....not bad, but not really good either. One of those days where you feel cute-n-sweet-n-sexy but there's no one around to apreciate it. So here I am, in my room, with some nicely scented candles and some incense burning, listening to some very soothing music, feeling pretty comfortable and relaxed........doing FILM JOURNALS...in my room, by myself. It's not fun...I think I've got a classic case of the lonelies tonight. But there's not much I can do about that I guess. SO anyways...my weekend was really kick ass. I went to two very awesome parties one on Friday night *Green achers is the place to be!* and then Chase's Bitchin' Birthday Bash on Saturday night which was awesome up until a certain point when I had to suddenly leave! But oh well...what's done is done. I took my sister shopping on Sunday to get our mom her mother's day presents. All in all it was a decent weekend. OH I also had my NYSSMA solo on Saturday...I fucked that up pretty bad. The judge was really nice though, and impressed with the fact that I pointed out everything i did wrong before he had the chance to. I got a 92 out of 100 which isn't bad, but definitely not as good as I had wanted to get. Oh well. I guess that's about it....I should get back to my film journals. Only 3 left to do and they're all from the new movie we just started watching, so I'm proud of myself I'm at least caught up to our current film! :
Current Music: "I'll Be" by Edwine McCain
1st May 2003
la la la
Today was an average day. I went to school and then I went to practice my NYSSMA solo song with my pianist. The song sounds really great, so I'm excited to sing it on Saturday to get graded. I'm doing a level six *the highest level* Italian song. I love to sing Italian songs. :
He he he...I can't get over these Axe Body Spray commercials...they make me laugh every time. And I have to say personally the Pheonix scent drives me wild! tee hee. I'm in kind of a giddy mood at the moment and I have no real reason to be at all. But ah well...I think I'm going to burn a cd right now. So I guess I'll write again sometime soon.
Current Music: "It Won't Rain All the Time" from the movie Crow
30th April 2003
Can't Sleep...*the clowns will eat me*....muuwahahaha
Yeah, so pretty much I can't sleep right now so I decided to create one of these online journal things since I no longer write in an actual journal. I'm pretty excited that graduation is exactly two months from today! Though I'm not sure exactly where I'll be next year. Senior year has definitely been crazy, but amazing as well. We got our yearbooks today which we worked on so hard, and it was well worth it because they're amazing! It just made me sad because it's MY yearbook for MY senior year, and that's crazy to think about. :
I can't get over how incrediably stupid some people are. It really amazes me how highly some people think of themselves when they've really done nothing to be proud of. I can't wait to get away from those people that are here. I realize there will always be people like that, but at least I won't have to deal with the same people I've had to deal with for years. It'll be nice to escape from them.
Well I've decided I feel pretty dumb talking about my life in this thing because at the moment I don't have anything that important to say. The upside to this is I am now pretty tired so maybe I'll actually be able to fall asleep. Don't worry the entries will get better when I'm actually thinking indepth instead of about petty shit.
Current Music: Ozzy Osborne's "Dreamer"