topherman's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]

[ website | Would you like to swing on a star, carry moonbeams home in a jar... ]
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He's mine. [18 Apr 2003|02:56pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]
[ music | April Wine -Red Red Wine ]

That sounds so much like I just bought property, but for anyone who knows the depths I have gone through to make him realize how incredibly special he is. Then it makes sense for me to say that....say he's mine, he's finally mine!

The moment I met him, my world flipped upside down, he possessed my mind, my body, my heart. I kept it from him for a very long time, likely longer than I should have...but it seemed he needed a friend, not a big sap trying to pamper and protect him. Until that...*shakes his head* I'm not goign to bring it up, it kills me inside that I wasn't there to stop it from happening in the first place. But it got taken care of. Between me and...*stops* Let's just say it got dealt with.

I won't let anything ever happen to J'angel again. I love him too much to ever watch the pain in his eyes, we still haven't...*shakes his head again* But that truly doesn't matter to me, that's the strangest thing. He's the first man that I've been with where I didn't have to be with him like that 24/7....even though I'd love to make love to my boyfriend, to have him make love to me and all the wonders that go with the two. He's not ready. And I'm fine with that.

I just love Justin, for himself. Not his body, not his talent...though he is incredibly that. I just love HIM!

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Sometimes the work is your oyster [29 Mar 2003|08:13am]
[ mood | ecstatic ]
[ music | Chumbawumba- Tubthumping ]

I can't even begin in words to explain what is going on in my world right now. Why this permanent grin is on my face and will never fade. Okay, so I kinda can...two words :: J' Angel. So many months of watching over him, longing for him, loving him...finally I am able to bring him into my life and only to find out he feels the same. There is so much I still have to tell him, so many things he doesn't fully know about me but for some reason I'm thinking none of it matters. He's mine now and I'll be damned if I will let people, status or any freak weather event stand between us. I will forever toss myself onto the flame long before I will watch him hurt in any shape or form. *smiles brightly* Huh? this is what love feels like. Now I know why the hell Josh and Joey have that strange glow about them.


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Taking care of business [03 Mar 2003|02:43pm]
[ mood | distressed ]
[ music | Bloody Valentine -GC ]

Sorry I missed Kevin's party, but I knew at least Justin would be safe there and it'd give me time to deal with a few things. When I came home from work and found J'Angel so upset, I in the pit of my stomach KNEW something was very wrong. The moment he began to tell me through the tears I wanted to find the fucker and rip his dick off. I still do...likely will. I've got Al at the bar, Lenny on tables and Carlos up dancing all alert that if the guy they all refer to as "Icebox" comes in to alert me. Nobody's seen him since Justin's last shift. I suppose that's good...and not so good

*sighs and looks in the mirror, rubbing his cheekbone examining it for swelling* Marty's got a mean right hook, jerk! Justin hasn't been going to work, and well....not that J'Angel knows this but he doesn't exactly have a job to go back to there, I don't think that's going to bother Justin so much now, FINALLY! But me medling, well he might not like that so much. But I can't just not do anything....*bites his lip* I love him.

No, it's not a sex thing, hell when we first started hanging out we didn't even...I mean it was forever until we did something...*shakes his head* It's just the moment I saw him, the way he lit up the room, the way he made me light up. I fell the second or eyes met, but I didn't want to admit it because who believes in that love at first sight crap anyways.
He doesn't know....I've thought it in his presence, even said it to myself in hush. I just want to protect him, keep him safe from the cruel world around us.

He's an Angel trapped in a man's body with the naivity of a young boy. I just...I won't let him get hurt anymore, and I sure as hell won't be the one to hurt him. That's why I likely won't tell him. Hell if I can keep the fact that I'm gay from my parents this long, not saying I love you to J'angel should be a snap...right? *plays with the ring of that man's. Snarling at it* Oh you will pay, you will fucking pay bad.

63 comments|post comment

I'm not even sure [14 Feb 2003|03:20am]
[ mood | hopeful ]
[ music | Luther Vandross ]

*Debates it over and over in his head, finally going next door and knocking on Justin's door, waiting until he hears footsteps coming close to it before taking off back into his apartment leaving the gifts on the doorstep*

Flowers &Stuffed Toy and Treats

*Forgetting to leave the card that must have fallen off the flowers laying in the middle of his floor that he passes over as he crawls into bed, leaving door unlocked*

Note reads:: J'Angel...well it's Valentine's day, the saint of love and all things relating to it or something like that. I guess I'm asking you to be my valentine? I'm not trying to say more than that incase this gives you the weirds or something. Anyways, if you accept this invite to be mine, come over today I'll be in bed waiting, if you decline then don't show...I'll get the picture.

With great fondness, Toph

*Reaches around himself, undoing the robe and setting it aside. Sighing as he lays back and attaches his hands through the cuffs skillfully flicking his wrists to snap them both. Lays in bed nervously staring at the ceiling nothing to do but wait*


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Check the mirror looking fly [03 Feb 2003|07:04pm]
[ mood | chipper ]
[ music | I want you -savage garden ]

*pulls his braids into a high pony tail and buttons up the burgandy tie dyed shirt. Sliding into a pair of tight black leather pants and looking at the clock*

6:18pm should be arriving anytime now *smiles*

I wonder what Ashley would prefer...Chez Louise or maybe Kevin's place? *grins and puts on a strand of silver beads whistling*


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Like a Drifter... [26 Jan 2003|11:36pm]
[ mood | indifferent ]
[ music | Here I go again -Whitesnake ]

..I was born to walk alone. Cause I know what it means, to walk along the lonely street of I go again on my own..." *taps his fingers along the Cd cases as the dancer on stage bores him with the usual routine, even if the song is kinda hitting home at the moment. Wonders why he even agreed to come back here to "The Horny Spur", what he was hoping would come of it.*

*Looks up occasionally then turns his back looking for the next dancer's music, waiting fot the current track to end...sings along to it* And I made up my mind...I'm not wasting no more I go again... *puts on the headphones and looks down, searching for the next stripper's tune.*


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Occurs to me [17 Jan 2003|10:19pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | Chanting ]

That I haven't updated since before the BBQ! *laughs* What can I tell you, a much of randy, wet, sexy men and food it's my ultimate wet dream. But there was no baby oil rub downs and spank the bad man in leather theme going on so not quite! I've been keeping some rather interesting company lately. Between Justin stopping by to teach me the finer points of the game he bought me for they make too many stickers and his body is a fucking temple, to the sexy restauranter that just mmm pizza and movies *laughs again*

*shakes head as he curls his legs under himself ready to focus on centering himself*
Time to relax and unwind *lets the soft chants on the stereo play on as he burns the incense and lights candles channelling the powers within himself* "I am the sun that burns bright. the wind nor rain can put out my eternal flame. I'm the light of my life, the power of all creation is inside me. Everything in my universe is right. My being is well." *softly saying to himself eyes closed concentrating on the sound of his own breath*


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life can suck at other's it's great [09 Jan 2003|12:13pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | "If your gonna fly" -Faith Hill ]

*singing along with the stereo, cowboy hat perched over his tucked back braids*"You had nothing else to do...but use and use and use...if your gonna fly away, don't fly without me....don't fly without me...don't go nowhere...I need you baby..."*Bare chested, wearing a pair of leather chaps over a thong burning bacon, as he attempts to cook breakfast just gotten home from a rave*

*swings his hips to the beat of the Faith Hill song with the occasional "Yeehaw" and ass slap for effect, laughing to himself. Opens the door to the apartment to get the smell of burning out. Dumps the charcoalled bacon bits and pops a Poptart in the toaster* This will do...*grabbing it when it dings* Ow ow ow fuck hot...yes..ow hot!


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New year, time to start the resolutions [02 Jan 2003|01:32pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | "Pray"-Take That ]

*Sits outside on his balcony looking around* Well time to start the list....*takes out his pen and begins to write down all the things he wants to do this year*

1) Lose weight...*shrugs* Or at least get toned...
2) Get friends where they need to go, by all means possible
3) Tell Family your Gay....

*stops and looks at it, crosses it out and sighs* After the way mommsy behaved from me just talkign to Josh, hell the biggot wanted to wash my mouth out because I called him an acquaintance and dared to test her pride further by saying, you spend time with Karen couldn't you catch it through her? In a smug tone I knew would piss her off. It did I got a backhand across the face and an appointment with a family thearapist about my failure to live upto my duties as her son *Laughs hard having not bothered to show up for it* Someday's I just want to put on the Village people and Dance in her living room wearing a g-string and leather whipping the butler's ass and see if she gets the clearer picture...but even I know that's too cruel, I mean...what did George ever do to me? Not the butler's problem *shakes his head and puts the notepad down stretching*

All I know is that Christmas Eve was...*sighs and smiles*...something different for me, and something I'd definately like to experience more of. Hell the last few months have been amazing, and hee I was gonna move out, I can't move away from this building, all the hot men...the sexy girl...hell even a new neighbour moved in...*shakes his head* Nope, I'm staying right here....*puts hands up to his mouth and shouts to the world. "I'm HERE....I'm QUEER....Apartment 1969...come do me!!!" *cracks up at the echo, and goes back inside*


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Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin... [16 Dec 2002|11:33pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]
[ music | "Situation Critical"-Platinum Blonde ]

*lays on the bed, tapping his barefoot on the end of the bed the music blaring through his sound system knowing it won't bug the neighbours because of the soundproofing he had installed before he moved in*

*looks at the clock unable to sleep, unable to do much of anything really. Turns to his side willing the clock to change numbers, it not working of course* Nobody is up at this time of morning...*sighs throwing a pillow over his head then sitting straight up, putting his glasses on that he rarely ever wears* JUSTIN!!! *realizing he'd of just gotten home unless he was out with somebody after*

*slips a ratted sweat shirt with the collar missing over his stripped PJ bottoms and walks next door knocking softly as to not wake everyone hoping that he's home*


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Somedays you wake up and go...what the FUCK!!! [02 Dec 2002|11:54am]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | "Coco Butter"-Craig David ]

*rubs his head pressing his body up off the floor just inside the apartment door where he obviously passed out last night, boot stuck in the door, shirt clinging to him* Toph...*looks at the clock* Still time before the interview..*leaving the door open slightly with the boot stuck in it as he steps out of it and then the other one scattering his clothes as he takes them off heading to the shower, head pounding*

Get a hair cut and get a real job Christopher...*mocks in his mother's voice looking in the bathroom mirror* FUck you!!! *flips himself the bird and looks at the shower almost too much effort at this point the way he's feeling, turns on the jets of the jacuzzi instead in the bathroom* Glorified bath...still works..*convinces himself as he slides into the warm bubbling water kneading at his sore naked flesh* mmmmm....that's the ticket.

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Looks around for a coffee fliter... [27 Nov 2002|10:40pm]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | "If you think I'm Sexy"-Rod Stewart ]

Man oh fucking Man am I glad I moved here! *smiles jumping a few feet away from his bed as he gets out of it in the morning* "Watch out for the crawling eye" *he snickers*

*Rubs his stomach snapping the elastic waist of his leopard printed thong as he goes down the two steps from the open area bedroom into the living room below on his way to the kitchen* The last few Nights have been like...god I dunno.

I moved in here and the second I did I saw beautiful men everywhere...down the hall from me there's Joey...*snickers* mmmm how I could use a donation from mr. Tall, Dark and handsome..oh my! There was Lance...amazing eyes and that lockjaw thing you just want to nibble him all up.....

Oh...can't forget Josh...*smiles wide* No way can we forget "Super Freak" that man has got this naughty side that just is..*rae, trips on his own feet walking* Eep..*laughs* See I can't even think about it without hurting myself. Let's just say Tuesday night went better than I had even expected! And I was a very prepared boy...*smiles* I soon found out so was he.

And then the night before was...*grabbing the milk from the fridge goign to take a sip stops as he's thinking about the dancer boy he shared a cab ride home with, the eyes, the curls, the smile. Milk dripping down his chest* SHIT!!! *grabs a cloth wiping himself down* Coffee...I need coffee...*looks in the cupboard for filters* Damn...I'm out!

*thinks about going to ask one of his neighbours for one* There's the pretty smelling blonde girl close by?..*looks at his watch* Oh man way too early for any of them to be up...I'll improvise...* steps out of his thongs and uses them as a make shift filter, shoving the holder back in and pressing Brew*....I am seriously gonna love living here!

*LATER: That afternoon grabs his note pad scribbling out "Happy Gobble Gobble Day" on several squares and opening his treasure chest at the end of his bed, pulling out something* "Deck the halls with Edible Undies...fa la la la la la la...It's turkey day so let's be naughty...fa la la la la la la"

*smirks hanging the peach ones on the little ladies door and turning to the stripper's place with a wide grin* Hmmm....I think because of his youthful face....cherry...*puts them with the note on the door handle. Wanders down further* Aahhhh Shy guy....*thinks about Lance and hangs the Chocolate ones* He knows he wants me...*snickers and reaches in his pocket pulling out the studded restraint hanging the spiced apple on Josh's door* Naughty Naughty boy...*pretends to spank the door with a chuckle stopping at the Italian's door* Last...not in the least at all...*slicks his lips and hangs the brandied orange* Grrrrrr....I'd love to take a nice long lick of your...*stops when he sees the landlord fixing a light at the end of the hall staring at him* Oh Hey! Happy Gobble Gobble Day...*laughs and goes back to his apartment*


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H'fones *Check*...Discs *Check*....Mic' *Check*.... [25 Nov 2002|10:06pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | "Tainted Love"-Soft Cell ]

*Rumages through discs bookmarking the usual crap, Weather girls, Prince, ZClub1000, Appolonia. Secretly wishing just once one of these rippers would choose something
original, something different*

"yes sweet cheeks, I got it..." "cue after the first verus".."yeah I think I will survive is a great choice...a tribute to your dog that just died...I get it" *rolls eyes* "Tounge Twister...I got it...oh oh THE tongue twister..sorry..yeah I got it!!"

*rubs his forhead* It's like running a prom where there is King & Queen titles and every diva in the place has specific instructions yet they are all losers...*shakes his head* Oh well I love music, I love to's why I do it...I prefer less structure, like regular club nights, raves....*sighs* But you gotta keep working...can't make a name without putting in the time...why can't you just buy your way in?

*puts on his headphones and looks down at the sea of CD's* This isn't even real...Compact Discs? Where's the snap, crackle is meant to sound raw...dirty, that's all in the records man...all in the spinfactor *nods to the beat cuing up a track, bouncing his head to the beat* Uh uh...yeah...uh uh...uh.....uh..*loses himself in the music knowing the club will open soon, smiles thinking about his neighbours*


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Lay Down and Make the Most of an Evening at home [24 Nov 2002|09:34pm]
[ mood | horny ]
[ music | "Here I go Again"-Whitesnake ]

I can see alot of potential in this place....*finishing up packing and laying out the little touches, mirrors on the ceiling over the bed, strobe lights, disco ball, smoke machine, oversized fan, padded bar stools, rice paper change screen, black satin sheets on the bed, toy chest at the foot of the rod iron bed*

*nods and strips down out of his white tee and black jeans smiling remembering meeting his neighbours* Nice people in this place...I think I scared blondie with the big green eyes....mmmm...such pretty eyes )

"I'm sooooooo gonna love living here" *smiles as he catches his breath and falls asleep wondering what "Horny Spur" is going to be like.


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If I hear one more request for the righteous brothers I'm gonna hurl [24 Nov 2002|06:27pm]
[ music | "Personal" -Craig David ]

*waves* Yo, Toph...Chris, Christa, Topher, CT, CAK...just don't call me shorty or I'll show you what a sucker punch looks like close up and personal. Yeah so I'm like 5'6...what of it?

*smiles opening up his turntables and setting them up in his new corner bachelor's loft, admiring the windowed view of the busy city streets below, hooking up his red arrowed "live nudes here" light in the window directly ove his bed*

They told me this was the most soundproof apt in the place...*grins wickedly* Have to test that out sometime soon.

Been getting calls for lots of gigs in the area so I figured might as well re-locate you know? *smiles at the one step up to the bedroom area open concept hardwood floored loft* I think I'm gonna like it here just fine.

*begins to unpack some of his records and other Disc jockeying equipment*


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