| I realized I, never began. |
[28 Sep 2003|12:26am] |
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So! Caroline i <3 you for leading me to that new awesome background of mine. I LOVE it.
So tonight went to EL with Matt, Will, Aimee, Grant & Kristen. Yah FUN. Well the beginning was fun, but tehn the end just really sucked. I almost started crying. The thing that someone just had to bring up, makes me very emotional, i got really upset cause i was having a good time, and that just fucking ruined it all.
Thanks to Matt & Will for the sweat shirts. :) i was fweezin. my WHOLE body is just aching. And I got a HACKEY SACK! woo hoo. fucking finally. I had to take out some of the beans tonight. um yah soo.. bnf sucks. WTF the midget 'lead singer' "ricky" just stood there and did nothing, sang like two words. well i'm tired, and i'm out. damn my ass really hurts.
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| Everyone's so far gone. |
[28 Sep 2003|01:44pm] |
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Waddup. i was playing hackey sack like an hour ago and i was actually good :) So i guess two of the greatest people to hang out with just broke up :( hopefully they can work things out though. Man i can't stop looking at my new background, anyway. i was thinking of changing my site again.... but, maybe not. i really wish i had someone to play hackey sack with, it gets boring all by myself. I'm watching i love the 70's. I like the 80's better. I want to go to EL again today, but i don't think that will happen. I go to EL every weekend. Damn, i love it. I didn't get more of those mints yesterday :( shit. I miss my guitar lessons, and i miss Chris :( I feel like crap that i quit cause i think he thought i was actually good, and he really wanted me to get in band, it's like i quit on him. And i don't think i'll ever be in a band. so idk. whatever :( I helped Aimee change her blurty yesterday, it's lookin pretty darn good. Well i'm out if anything exciting happens later i'll update. adios
Btw: This song is really good. I <3 it. Matt, listen to that cd if you haven't already, it's a really good cd.
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| And i loved you yesterday. The simple thought of you and me. |
[28 Sep 2003|04:08pm] |
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:'-(
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| when did your eyes, begin to look fake? i hope you're as happy as your pretending |
[28 Sep 2003|09:03pm] |
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grr. today was horrible.
I talked to Drew, and shit, that was awful. We were fighting and i just couldn't take it anymore, so i just said we were over and got off. i didn't mean it, but i did get really upset. then i got back on and he imed me like 45732743 times, so i finally came back to the computer and we talked things over. i guess it like hurt him really bad that i said that and he said he hated me for saying it, and i was like whoa, that's so not cool. gee thanks for hating me. i guess he thought i was a bitch, he prolly still does. idk wow, that makes me feel so great.
Fuck i was on the phone with keek and i fell off my chair and jabbed my elbow into my desk and now my arm is bleeding like a period.
after reading drews journal i feel really bad. not just because of what i said, but how he told everyone, how he thought of me, that really hurts my feelings. it makes me sound like a huge bitch and all i was trying to do is make things better.
Shit, i am just a fucking horrible person, and everyone deserves better than me.
After reading something Elise wrote about her going to homecoming, getting a dress, and getting her hair done makes me really want to go. but i can't and i won't because no one will ask me.
I feel extremely low right now, and i hate it. i hate feeling bad about/for myself.
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